Redefining Asian Men in the media (NO MORE WILLIAM HUNG!)

I GOT IT! I FUCKING GOT IT!

Okay, as you obviously can tell, I’m very passionate about the issues surrounding Asian men. But one of the most prominent would be the fact that our image in the media, for lack of a better term, sucks. Why can’t women see the potential and sheer awesomeness of Asian men? Why can’t they see the THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of highly eligible Asian bachelors? Then I realized:

Famous actors are often seen as the representatives of their respective ethnicities. You might say something like “Wow, Black men are handsome! Have you seen Will Smith?!” It turns out that these men serve as the standard for what men of that color CAN look like. They serve as a “yes, we CAN look THIS good!” White men have Brad Pitt, Black men have Denzel Washington, Latinos have Mario Lopez, and Asian men have… Bobby Lee?

HOLD THE FUCK UP! Are you trying to tell me that this whole time, Women have been comparing us to Bobby Lee?! FUCK THAT! I think we need a more accurate comparison. So here’s a look at the Asian stars that you know, the ones you don’t, and who SHOULD be representing the Asian male community.

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Round 1: Music

Our Current Representative: William Hung

Who Should be representing us: Taeyang

Taeyang completely shatters whatever notion you have about Asian male singers. This guy sings well, dances well, and he’s incredibly fit. In case you haven’t noticed, the singers in Asia (mainly Korea) have been gaining remarkable momentum. From 2pm to USA, these Korean boy bands have been gathering so many fans across seas that there are even 13 year old white girls making video blogs about how much they love their music.

And you know what that means? Those 13 year old (Asian male) loving white girls will grow up to be 25 year old (Asian male) dating white girls. Hooray for the future!

In a few years, posters of Taeyang will be hung inside the bedrooms of girls across the world. YAY!

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Round 2: Youtube Stars

Our Current Representative: Lin Yu Chun

Who Should be representing us:
Urbangermany + Gabe Bondoc + NigaHiga

Why: Don’t get me wrong, Lin Yu Chun is an AMAZING singer. Apparently, Lin was just signed by Sony and is now producing a CD. Hooray for him! But to use him as our representative is a lot like using Paul Potts and Susan Boyle as the representative for White people. Yes, they’re great singers, but not so great to put on the cover of Maxim…

Urbangermany (his real name is Son) and Gabe Bondoc are fucking AMAZING musicians. Racking in millions of views, these two can write their own songs, do covers better than the original, AND they’re handsome men. If you don’t believe me, just watch their videos.

Do I really need to speak on behalf of NigaHiga? Nigahiga is the number one most subscribed Youtuber…EVER! He has over 2 MILLION subscribers! The beauty is that Nigahiga makes his own videos by himself. His former competitor, Fred, was some irritating white boy who actually had a team of producers creating his videos. And also, Nigahiga is a good looking brother and he has quite a handful of groupies.

Other amazing Asian youtube stars: Passion, David Choi, Peter Chao, Wong Fu Productions, AJ Rafael.

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Round 3: Sports

Our current representative: Yao Ming

Who Should be representing us:
Hidetoshi Nakata

Why: Yao Ming is a 7 foot 6 pile of Chinese manliness. However, most Americans only see the fact that he’s Chinese. But one of the rising stars in the sports world would be Soccer player (Yes, an Asian soccer player) Hidetoshi Nakata. Nakata played for various teams ranging from Rome to England. He is constantly regarded as one of the most stylish athletes in the world and he was also featured in a recent Calvin Klein ad.

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Round 4: Martial Arts

Our Current Representative: Jackie Chan

Who Should be representing us:
Lyoto “The Dragon” Machida

Why: One of things that I absolutely love about Lyoto is the fact that his nick name is “The Dragon”. I mean come ON! That is the most ASIAN nick name you can possibly have! You might as well call yourself Goku! The reason why this is so important is because for years, Asians have been discouraged from associating themselves with such Asian nick names. To do so would be “too Asian” and thus, uncool.

But seriously though, Lyoto is a bad ass. He’s a confident man, good looking, respectful, and is one of the few fighters in MMA who actually retains his respect and discipline for the art of Martial Arts.

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Round 5: Actors

Our Current Representative: Jackie Chan

Who Should be representing us:
Daniel Henney

Why: Uhhh…do…do I really need to explain why? Daniel Henney has got to be one of the most handsome men on the planet. Am I gay for saying this? No, I’m just a very supportive Asian guy who acknowledges the handsomeness of other Asian men! ..okay…. that was a bit gay…

But anyways! Daniel Henny is a great actor and an incredibly intelligent  gentleman. If you watch his movie “Seducing Mr. Perfect”, you will soon realize why I picked him: Women want to be with him and men want to become him. He’s suave, he’s smart, he’s talented, he can sing, he can play guitar, and he’s damn good looking.

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Look, I’m not trying to say that you ladies should go out now, visit your local mall, hit on an attractive Asian man, go out with him for dinner, talk about your day, go back to his apartment, get intimate, show him your intimates, have a few babies, and live the rest of your life in heaven – I’m not saying that.

What I am saying is that you should look at the complete picture. Realize that there are millions of Asian men in the world and if you only choose to recognize the nerdy ones, then you’re ignorance is probably big enough to take you to the moon (which I heard was made made out of cheese!) So please…

To all the Black women, the White women, the Latinas, the Indians, and everyone in between, take the time to open your eyes. Be open! Take a chance – NAY! Dating an Asian man isn’t even taking a chance because you’re GUARANTEED to meet wonderful men! We’re intelligent, we know how to cook, we can obviously sing and dance, and we’re really really ridiculously good looking.

So the next time you’re at Baskin Robins 31 flavors and you’re trying to decide between Vanilla or Chocolate, take a step back, think for a minute, and walk to your local Asian Yogurt Shop – it’s better for you anyways

Yul Kwon, Winner of the T.V show Survivor, is also the owner of two Yogurt shops (Red Mango) in Silicon Valley

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“Asian men are the new black”

- worthington

Oh fuck… I think I’m starting to like “The White Girl”

Have you ever been so interested in someone, or something – whether it’s thinly cooked french fries from Chez Maman or that sexy librarian at school – that it began to occupy every little space in your brain? Well basically, I’m having that right now.

I look at a box of blueberries – I think of “the white girl”. I flip open my math book – I think of the white girl. I visit my friend that works at GAP, walk over to the Women’s section and see the sportswear – I think of the white girl. (BTW, I really need a better name other than “The White Girl”. Perhaps I’ll call her Betty.)

So anyways, Betty is on my fucking mind. I don’t get it! It’s not like she did much. There are no memories of making out in the parking lot or late night quickies. She’s a girl in my class. That’s it. Sure, we’ve danced around the flirting pole many times but I still can’t understand why I… why I…(fuck..)…why I like her.

There, It’s been said, I like her. I like her the same way that a 5 year old school boy likes his red headed classmate: I just do. What’s even more interesting is the fact that I’m kinda bothered by it. This near mental leprosy is spreading from my head and into my lower organ (my heart, you sick sick bastard!)

So I woke up today, feeling very chipper, and decided to tease out just why do I like this girl, and why is it bothering me so much?

For starters, I think this girl is vaguely similar to a Fererro Rocher. On the outside, people enjoy her playful attitude and nutty humor. But it is I who understands that the true meaning of her existence lies beyond that crunchy outer wall. Inside, there’s something better. A person a lot softer, a lot sweeter, and a whole lot more satisfying than what people perceive her to be.

First off, I’d like to say fuck you in advance because right now I’m gonna say something pretty damn corny: I can feel her inner beauty. There’s something about her that I can sense and to some extent, understand. She’s like this warrior with paint smeared all over her battle-cry face – all of which is hiding a very sweet and beautiful girl. I like that.

In essence, I guess you can say that I like her because that inner personality, the one hiding behind the thorns, is one that I would love to get to know.

So then why, after all of this, am I bothered by it? I seem to be annoyed at the fact that I like this girl so much. And to be honest, I think I know why: I’m a guy who knows so much about himself that I can meet a girl for 30 minutes and I’ll know whether or not she’s right for me. In turn, this has lead me to many occasions where I’ve completely dumped a girl before we even went out on a first date. It’s bad, I know.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned down girls because “they weren’t my type”. Girls who were gorgeous, girls who were incredibly smart and driven, and girls who any man would be happy to marry and spend the rest of their lives with. But girls who weren’t right for me. It’s a tragic way to run things and the worst part is that I’ve never really had the opportunity to date them and go through that “lets get to know each other” phase because quite frankly, I was so sure that I already knew them.

My emotional skin has been calloused to the bone from years of upset and unfortunate misunderstandings. Any woman who comes across me must be ready with a golden arrow because nothing can impress or pierce through this armor -  I’ve seen it all. But for Betty… she did it. She went all Troy on me, jumped up and stabbed me right in the jugular.

I guess that’s why it bothers me. It bothers me that she did get to me. And for what? What did she even do to get to me? I don’t get it. Or maybe I do. Maybe I do understand and I could easily solve this problem and brush her off my chest and move on with my life. Yet I won’t. I think for once, I’ll allow myself for things to pan out as nature has intended. I’ll give her this window of opportunity and let someone peek in.

So Betty…

…come in.

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When you are with someone, who are

you really with? The person on the

outside or the person within?