Advice for Non-Asian Girls: 4 Tips on How To Impress Your Future Asian In-Laws

So you’re have sex with an Asian guy… COOL BEANS! What next? Oh, well I GUESS the next step is to meet his parents, right? Right!

"Let's go meet our parents! YEAAA!"

If you’re a non-Asian girl meeting your boyfriends Asian parents, you are already at a disadvantage. All the rumors you’ve heard about Asian parents being strict and mean? 100% true. Asian parents can be vicious, judgmental, and even a tad bit racist. But here’s the thing:

Whenever I hear stories about non-Asians meeting their future In-Laws, it always goes something like “Oh man, at first I was so nervous! But once they got to know me, they loved me! We were having a blast and we even played twister!” Yea ummm, about that…

"ha..haha...haha.... yeaaaa, that's not gonna work."

Asian parents don’t give a FUCK if you can play twister with your legs tied together while playing “Like a G6″ on the violin. Sadly, Asian parents are very materialistic, and they care about status and wealth. So before you stand in front of the mirror chanting “Just be yourself!” realize that in the world of  Asian culture, yourself may not be good enough.

But fear not, my Asian loving goddesses! I have the solutions! Here are some tips for you Non-Asian ladies which will gain you some credibility, trust, and above all, honor, within our family. Buckle up, it’s going to be one herravu good time!

Peter Le Takes Shots every time I post a new blog.

1. Have a Great Job and Make Lots of Money

"MONEY IS GOOD. GOOD IS MONEY. YAY MONEY!"

Money may not buy you romantic love, but it can sure buy you love from Asian parents. You see, Asians are very aware of their status in society. We constantly keep tabs on who’s making money, and who’s buying the latest gadgets. We notice when the neighbor buys a new BMW so when the 2014 model comes out, we can top them by buying it – in black and white. It’s an unfortunate reality but in the Asian household, money is the head of the house. Fuck happiness, they want money, honey!

So one of the best ways to win over Asian parents is to have a good job that pays well. And by good job I mean: Doctor, Lawyer, Nurse, Engineer, or something that an Asian would do.

"You're a Doctor? WELCOME TO THE FAMILY! Oh, btw, what's your name?"

Now of course, not all of us can score an 800% on the calculus-z test like Akbar Jabeer, and land a job working on Area 51 Spaceships. No worries! I suck at Math too! But as long as you can show that you earn a decent living, our parents won’t complain. But be aware: You might be earning a comfortable $50,000 a year but if your boyfriend’s parents earn $120,000, they sorta expect you to keep up with them – if not now, then eventually.

So what can you do if you don’t make that money?

"I durn know how to make more monies :/"

2. Have a Job That Is Reputable

As I said before, Asian parents give a big shit about reputation. The irony is that Asians have really nice houses, fancy cars, nice clothes, yet we eat at the cheapest of restaurants, and we steal a shit load of napkins from McDonalds. But it doesn’t matter. To them, what you see is what’s important. For all I know, my Asian friend with his red Porsche could be wiping his ass with old Taco Bell receipts.

So if you’re not earning 6 figures, the best thing to do is to have a job that has social value. Something that’s prestigious, noble, or professional. Basically, if you’re working in an office, a tech company, the medical field, or you’re simply an engineer of any kind (A Subway Sandwich “Engineer” doesn’t count), you will be viewed as part of the money makin’ family (due to the fact that within your industry, if you get promoted, you could make a lot of money.) So plop that reputable paycheck on the table cuz baby, we’re going to Quiznos for dinner!

"OOOOOOHH LAAAAAAAWWWWDD!"

3. Eat Our Food and ENJOY IT!

"OMG! I LOVE IT WHEN ASIAN THINGS ARE IN MY MOUTH!"

As of now, my older brother is dating a White girl. They’ve been together for about 2+ years and she’s really adjusted to the family. This is primarily due to the fact that at one point, she actually moved into our house. Now, I don’t take much space (all I need is my laptop, T.V, and the fridge, and you can take the rest) so I was pretty cool with her staying. But my mom on the other hand, wasn’t.

One day we were getting ready for dinner and my mom slaved over a pot of Filipino soup. The soup was darn good and you eat it with fish sauce and sometimes shrimp paste. As we slobbered and slurped in a loud frenzy, my brothers girlfriend placed her bowl on the table, and started to eat. Only she wasn’t eating my mom’s food, but rather, a bowl of Macaroni and Cheese.

Really now? Macaroni? REALLY?!

What happened next seemed to have appeared in slow motion, because damn son, it was intense! My mom looked at her and asked

Mom: You’re not going to eat the soup?
My Brother’s Girlfriend: Oh no, it’s okay!
Mom: ..hmmm

NO! IT IS NOT OKAY! OH LORD! WHY DID YOU DO THAT! YOU DUN WOKEN UP THE SLEEPING DRAGON! My mom then threw the boiling soup onto her face, causing her skin to bleed! LOL! Okay fine, that last part didn’t happen, but I could see it in her eyes that she was disappointed. Whether my brother’s girlfriend liked the soup or not, the fact that she didn’t try it was what killed her reputation.

You see, as immigrants from Asia, we try to be Americanized but at the same time, we hold a tight grip on the few traditions and customs we have. Food is one of the biggest ones. And if you’re not willing to try our soup, and our smelly fish sauce, then (in the eyes of our parents) you’re basically telling us “When your son and I have kids, I’m not going to feed them your Asian crap!”

"Ummm....yahhhh, so, I'm not gonna feed my babies any of this Chicken Chow Mein Shet. Mmmkay?"

So please, come in with an open mind, and be down! My mom LOVES it when we have non-Asians guests that try out our weird and wacky food. To her, it’s entertaining and it brings her happiness to see our culture being accepted by others. But above all, EAT THE DAMN SOUP!

"EAT THE FOOOOD!"

4. Take The Family Out For Dinner

"Free food? OH HOW WONDERFUL! SO DERICIOUS!"

Hugging my mom? Kissing my baby cousin? Do you honestly think that’s enough to win over my family?

One of the secrets about Asian culture is that if you want to show that you care, you feed someone. To us, food is the currency of love. The idea of nurturing someone’s hunger and ultimately, their health, is seen as one of the most highly regarded acts in all Asian culture. Whether it’s a basket of pork buns, a bag of fresh kiwis, or an order of peking duck, food is the ultimate game killer.

You could be taking a shit on our front porch but as long as you bring home some good (Asian) food, we don’t give a damn! Now of course, the type of food you give should be dependent on the family in question. Don’t just roll into a Chinese family and expect your Panda Express orange chicken to win any hearts. You have to be smart. Talk to your boyfriend and ask him what you should buy. Or, better yet, take the entire family out for dinner!

"Grandpa, what do you think of my new Mexican girlfriend?!" "Yea she's cool--OOOH! SHRIMP DUMPLINGS!"

Asian people love free stuff. Free samples, free coupons, and free money. But what they also love is when people take them out for a free meal. OOOOOOOH! I can already feel my inner Chinaman jumping for joy! ^_^ But once again, depending on how traditional you boyfriend’s family is, you need to pick an appropriate spot that will appeal to their taste buds. Some families would be happy with a trip to Outback Steakhouse, while others prefer a trip elsewhere. (pssst! Dim Sum is always a good bet!)

Once you fill everyone’s yellow belly, you will see the tension disappear. But wait! You must not forget to pay for dinner. I know this sounds like a no brainer, but in Asian culture, paying for dinner is a sign of honor and respect. It also shows that you have money and that you’re a good host. So if you can, before everyone finishes, secretly take care of the check, that way none of the Asian parents get a hold of it first. After a few of these dinners and a couple baskets of fresh pork buns, you’re in the clear!

Congrats babe! No one hates you!

RANIER, ARE YOU SERIOUS?


Look: The advice in this blog is relative, but honestly, I find it to be very relevant and very true. It doesn’t need to be said that the most important thing of all is to be honest, respectful, and polite. But just understand that Asian culture is very very different from others. You can’t just employ the same tactics that your Latin family enjoys, and apply it to us. If you do, you just might have to hang yourself.

So don’t forget: get a reputable job, make good money, take us out to eat, and EAT THE GODDAMN SOUP!


75 thoughts on “Advice for Non-Asian Girls: 4 Tips on How To Impress Your Future Asian In-Laws

  1. Sooooo true. Wish you had written this when Hubby and I were still dating (w/c was 1000 years ago. Ha!) because now not only is he the “not Filipino husband” but he is also merely the second favorite son-in-law because he didn’t eat the damn bangus. Worse, when me snd hub fight, she manages to somehow mention my charming and loaded ex and how he used to take HER out to TGIFridays for her b-day every year. Haha. This really is sum seriously true shet. Well done!

    • Everything you said is right on the money. I’m african american but I look exotic because my parents are light skinned. I dated an asian for the first time and it was the certainly an experience. They take cooking very seriously and its like a gateway to common ground for them. ADVICE for all girls dating asian men or want to…you better shove that shit down no matter how disgusted you are. They have a close family bond so everything you say or do that they don’t like will go around like crazy. From experience…what falco says is very true btu one thing he didn’t mention was “to hang in there.” It may take months before you even begin to get them to crack a smile at you. patience is def a virtue. Awesome post falco!

      • Thanks Falco and Mariah for the comments. Yes he asked me if I can cook and requested my ‘best” native dish (Bahamian)…so I said we really eat allot of fish :)
        I have already made a mental note to just eat whatever is presented to me, smile and keep it moving…..
        He’s Vietnamese by the way.

  2. Ha Ha this is funny. I’m Korean and my wife is African American and a Pharmacist. My parents love her. But wifey complains that whenever she’s out with my mom she always introduces her to people with she’s a pharmacist.

  3. So True… I had to laugh at some of it. Ja sung and I are just friends and his mom introduces me the same way, she works at the hospital this is Rose..

  4. My bf n I are taveling soon to meet my in-laws back in Asia… I’m a surgery assistant working towards Med. School, and I do love fish sauce! Lol spices , bring it on! And if they do cook, maaaaannnn… I’ll b the first one in the line. Yes, I’m a food lover. :) hope they like me.

  5. AHAHAHA!! THAT was a fantastic article; LOVED IT!

    My partner has been prepping me for the “Big Meet” this summer, when his folks, younger sister/her hubby come to here this summer from Hong Kong… FOR TWO FRICKIN’ MONTHS. Yes, they’ll be staying at our place the whole time, lol!

    In the meantime, I’ve been studying Mandarin, CLEANING within an inch of my life in between the bloody renos, and learning to make his mom’s dumplings. Who’d think little balls of pork and dough would be so difficult?!? Thank god, I can already do perfect rice, fantastic veg, a simple, but delicious chow mien, and I actually get ridiculously excited when my honey and me pick up bbq’d eel from the market, so I guess I can eat just about anything.

    I bought him a HU-MUNG-GOUS top ‘o the line TV for Christmas that looks very large and expensive in our family room, so hoping that will help kiss-up, as well.

    Your check list is EXACTLY what my Canadian-born, HK-raised, North Americanized partner said when he first mentioned his family was coming for a “visit”.

    Love it; Keep it Up :)

    • Well, Michelle, it seems like you’re on your way to being inducted into the Asian family – welcome! :D

      I’m sure you’ll do great and receive great praise from his parents :)

  6. Pingback: Hottie of the Week: Just One More Reason to Love Me. « Beyond Black & White

  7. Thanks for the advice! You had me cracking up. You are a very funny guy. I love Asian culture and the food. I’m willing to try anything! If I ever meet my Asian prince this advice will definitely come in handy. :)

  8. Pingback: Advice for Non-Asian Girls: 4 Tips on How To Impress Your Future Asian In-Laws (via ) « blackandyellowambw

  9. rotfl. the mac & cheese incident was hilarious. that one was kind of a no brainer though. i’m black, and if my mom cooks you’d better eat it. she will totally put you out of her house for making something else lol.

    • true. I don’t think it’s an Asian thing, i just think it is bad manners to make something else when you are a guest in someone else’s house and they have made a family meal. It is like by rejecting their food you are rejecting their hospitality and therefore them personally. … My mum is Ukrainian and she would lose it if someone did that!

  10. lol…love it! It’s all very true! Growing up we had lots of zip lock bags filled with salt/pepper/ketchup packets from fast food joints.

    You should throw in “show that you know how to cook (a.k.a. their son won’t go hungry and die if he marries you” and “call my mom auntie and NEVER by their first name”

  11. #3 should be a no brainer, but it always surprises me when people don’t get it. When I was dating my ex who was straight from China we used to eat at the hard core places where the only menu available was what I called the “secret menu” written in chinese characters and he’d order stuff that used to make me cry intestines, frog, abolone etc…but I’d eat it all with a smile on my face even though I hated every minute of it. Filipino’s have crazy ass foods that I don’t even like to touch, so I always did it out of respect for his culture because I’d feel bad if he refused to eat something in front of my family.

  12. I’ve dated a Pinoy before…and yes, I ate the damn soup. Even “chocolate soup.”

    I found that, if you absolutely do not want to eat something (anywhere, this isn’t necessarily culturally related), just say you’re allergic to it. It’s turning it down without being 100% rude. Of course, this doesn’t work with all foods, but when you don’t want to eat something and it has cashews in it, you’re good to go :D

  13. Thankx! lol this makes alot of sense (: I love asians lol theyre all so pretty, and they really know how to make some money lol i wanna learn

  14. I still have so much trouble with the food thing and I have been with my husband for 10 years now. Why do they take it soo personally jeez its just food

  15. I am a Chinese. I have to say that the first and the second is not true at all. Maybe your parents and other parents you know of think that way, but there are lots of Asian parents think exactly the opposite. Personal experience, most parents(my parents and my friend’s.(My Mom thinks a kind heart, caring, and whether she truly loves you is something should be considered in the first place) ) I know well enough do not consider a money-making job or a reputable job is the priority for judgement or preference. Sure, there are large amount of Asian parents expect their daughter-in-law to be somebody can honor their family and they think the honor has to do with money and reputation. (This is plain wrong. I don’t agree with it.) To those non-Asian girls, I have to say that the basis of relationship with your Asian parents is FRIENDSHIP, just like any other relationship..If there is a emotional connection between you guys, things will turn out to be just fine. It actually does not matter that much in the beginning whether they like you or not, whether you feel you can fit into the extended family or not, what matter is whether there is a emotional connection can be build in the long term through interactions. Asian parents looks pretty strict and tough when you first see they, but they are pretty emotional-driven inside once you really get to know them. They will compromise, try to understand, and you will find them not express it in words but in action. Asian parents are way more emotional than you can ever imagine. If they think you are a GOOD person, honest, true, kind, polite, they will accept you no matter what how much you make and what you do. In the experience of interracial marriage, Asian parents are the learner learning to adapt it too. After all, I believe there are universal values underlying different expression and look for the common values.

    • I agree with u not all asian families are like his for most part I think his family is in that way rude and selfish.I think tat its not culture thing I think just most asian families are just racist and expect to much. But anyways im happy I never got involve with asian man I try to at first but I rather stick to latino men.

  16. Another thing, if you cheat on an Asian guy with either your own race, his race, or other races, or mistreat him in any other way, it’s even worse. His parents will insult you or even make their son beat or even kill you. I read a recent news article about a White girl who got killed by her Asian (Chinese) boyfriend because she was cheating on him with her White ex-boyfriend and some other White and Black guys as well. And his family made him do it! In addition to that, they’re all in jail because of this. You know how Asian parents are, very strict and perfectionistic, even to the point when their son’s girlfriend makes mistakes and misbehaves. In other words, Asian parents are extremely unforgiving. And I also know of some Non-Asian and Asian girls who dated Asian guys who were very strict, perfectionist, and controlling like their parents. Any mistake they made, the guy’s parents and/or the guy becomes very abusive to them. And dating Asian guys is very stressful for Non-Asian girls. They’re so possessive, overbearing, and clingy, yet Asian girls date or marry these guys because their parents tell them to do so.

    In addition, you don’t ask a guy’s parents if you want to date him. They’ll ostracize and shame you and never let you see him again, nor ask him out on a date and/or pay. Most Asian guys hate it. They’ll either give you attitude or punch you in the face. Same thing if you approach him and strike conversations, buy him a drink at a bar, make advances or comments, especially sexual ones, compliment him, text, call, or email him, hold doors open for him, etc. I’ve seen Non-Asian and Asian girls do that to Asian guys and they wound up being insulted or beaten up. In other words, never court Asian guys. Let them always be the one to court you instead. Asian dating and relationships are never equal at all. There’s always strict gender norms.

    • In other words, Asian guys are even most likely to hit their girlfriends and wives for cheating and getting pregnant by the other man, except Japanese who don’t mind their wife or girlfriend having a baby with their manstress (male mistress), especially if he’s of another race. Japanese guys are more relaxed and calm and less likely to be possessive and jealous. Chinese, Filipino, Korean, Vietnamese, Indian, Pakistani, etc. They’re the most possessive and strict. My boyfriend who is Filipino, said that his younger sister cheated on her fiance, who’s Filipino-Chinese, behind his back with a persistent White guy friend of hers, who he and his family totally hate, and wound up pregnant and he called her names and beat her up for it. And he and his parents are also ostracizing her and calling her names as well and threatening to kick her out of their life for doing this to him, even though they are getting married this coming spring, including their half White-Asian child as well. Plus, he and his sister’s fiance also got into a fight with her White guy friend as well. Most Asians parents, boyfriends, and husbands don’t forgive their daughters, girlfriends, and wives for cheating with other guys and getting pregnant. Instead, they become verbally and physically abusive when girls do this.

      My boyfriend says that if he ever catches me cheating on him with other guys, I’m either going to get it from him, his family, and my family, since they are Filipino as well.

      I mean, Black guys, on the other hand, are the least possessive and jealous and don’t mind their women associating with other men and getting them in the sack as well. White, Hispanic, Asian, and Middle Eastern guys are the most possessive, controlling, and jealous. If their wife or girlfriend gets pregnant by another guy, they blow up into a violent rage real easily, as well as both of their families. It’s common and it’s no wonder relationship violence is higher among those races, compared to Blacks, who are more authoritative versus authoritarian.

      • Well your wrong maybe you consider how our strictness lead to good things as well such as money and intelligence, look at africa its a third world country
        And plus i dunno wats wrong with those guys and your boyfriend. I am a chinese and I have a british,spanish flipina girlfriend shes mixed, and I would never ever hit her in my life never. If she ever cheated on me why should i use voilence its common sense, I would just leave her in its her loss.

        Please dont assume that all asian boyfriends are voilent.
        If anything here offended you I dont mean to.

  17. ^ stop dating wife-beaters of any race, and life will get lots better. (Would it sound more profound if I said I read it in a fortune cookie?)

  18. Um Im bit worried about the job aspect of this article. I live in the UK and Im black and Im applying to study Animation at University. My bf is Malay-Chinese and hes going on to study Economics at University but after reading your article, it sounds like the career I want to go to wont be accepted :( His family is overly academic, he once told me that his parents didnt want his little sister to add art to one of her choices at secondary school (He never said why)…
    My Bf is a really cool guy, always joking, really nice and always caring but Im scared to high heaven of meeting his parents and thankfully he understands and said he will only tell them about me (They dont know hes dating anyone yet) until Im ready. We agreed to tell them after we finish 6th form (College) but Im not sure they will accept the career I want to do. I love animation, design and over all art but it sounds like to your article, Im not gunna make a good impression to his parents…
    This is going to sound stupid but, what can I do to improve my chances of them liking me?
    all advice is helpful!

  19. I am white live in the UK and am meeting my Asian / malaysian / indian in-laws for the first time next week and i willl be staying with them in their house for two weeks. I did meet his father during my husbands graduation. Words can not describe how soooooooooooooooooooo nervous i am lol . Great advice on here tho thanks!!!! Also from what i know already about my Asian family i have to say that i quite agree with xiaowei li’s post. Thanks xiaowei li xx !!! :-)

  20. I was cracking up at the macaroni story because something like this happened in my house about two years go but it was even worst.
    At dinner time.When every1 was about to gather around the table, a female friend of mine who was visiting goes hunting thru the fridge and grabs ingrediants by the handful and proceeds to make kimchi fried rice, not asking for any permission but acting as if it were her own home. We aren’t korean but boy does my mom love kimchi, so she always makes batch always ready in the fridge.

    Upon finishing making the kimchi fried rice, she brings it over to the table and places it down and start going in, while not even touching anything my mom had prepared. It was one hardest experience I’ve ever faced, o how I was nervous that my mom wasn’t going to to stick a chopstick down her throat. Afterwards, mom pulls me aside and tells me staright up “I do not like her, no girlfriend!”
    She has not been to my house since… so don’t go around doing something this stupid people, first impressions are huge.

  21. Don’t be a bad girl. Most Asian in-laws will treat you like a slave and order their son you’re with to beat you up. Most Asian guys don’t like bad girls and if they end up with one, they’ll kill them. Be careful all you bad girls. You know how authoritarian Asian guys and their parents are. They want their girls to be perfect without any flaws and mistakes.

    • Plus, Asian men don’t like women who smile and women who are desired and attractive by others which is why Asian men get very possessive.

    • This is so so True….Love the way you put this. . .Eat the soup and for Gods sake don’t talk about things like problems that make em Lose Face in public. That’s a sure way to Instant buzz kill.
      My boyfriend for the past two years is very much like Falco and others say, however he is from the Mountain country side in China and doesn’t focus his energy on my job and my money.when I make more than him it sends him in a panic mode that he can’t take care of me.
      He wants me to focus on our children and work less.he believes a little money to have in my pocket is Ok .He is prideful and doesn’t want to feel he’s not able to care for me.
      The thing about not smiling. This is not true with my asian boyfriend at all.if I look happy and smile he’s happy.if I don’t smile he thinks maybe I’m sad and therefore garbage talk or I too much outside thoughts ruled my thoughts.so he suggests maybe its chai gong time so my smile can reappear

  22. hahahahah Lol…is sooo true ,my husband in chinese,i´m Spanish..and my family in laws hate me !! i try all the food,i have a good job..but are culture is so different ..one thing u didn´t say about asian is that they´ll never “lose the face” (at list chinese) even if they don´t like u (or the hate u like in my case) they won´t openly show it…so don´t worry not need to kill ur self..just smile and don´t talk much..i been with my husband for 10 years and he isn´t going any where ^_^

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    Mrs Helen Andersen, Seattle, United States

  24. Two things I did to get on my Korean In-law’s good side. Although I don’t have a good job and I’m a writer/artist, I sent them a very large painting of mine before we headed over to Korea. When we got there they had it hanging on the wall because they loved it so much. You have to do the ground work first. You can’t just show up and be like “hey I’m marrying your only son!”

    The second thing was: I ate the food! Even if I didn’t like it (but luckily I mostly did) I ate it all. That earns many points.

    A few other things that helped. I lightened my hair so it was blonder, I’m kinda skinny, and tall for Korean people. So when we showed up in the tiny town in rural Korea my fiance’s parents were like “oooo she is blonde, skinny and tall!” Points for me.

    Luckily for me, his parents are lovely and there was never any issues. Even before they met me they said “if you love her, we will love her.”

  25. I have never come across such a great spell caster that is so honest in all my life. This man at drfinalsolution@yahoo.com is so good at his love spell casting work. He cast a love spell that brought my ex wife back and now we are happy together. Even my ex wife’s family that caused our break up are now in support of our union. Cos this great spell caster at drfinalsolution@yahoo.com initially said it will happen that way and manner and it indeed happened just like that as if i was dreaming. Thank you one million much drfinalsolution@yahoo.com
    From tracy Carlson.
    toronto,cananda.

  26. I met this spell through a friends description and he told me that he help him to get his wife back when another man took her from him and then i decided to try him out and i discover that he is the best and he is very powerful and just yesterday my husband whom i thought will never come back to me came and said to me that he was sorry for leaving me. i am now so happy that my desire have been fulfilled. thank to the Dr.Zack Balo of the wiseindividualspell@gmail.com he is so powerful.

  27. I and John has been together for 5 years. We both put our capital together to open a supermarket and since then we have been living happily without any problem. I always discuss about marriage with John but he replies me with, we will soon get married. I was surprise on Friday evening when i was in my brother’s house, John called me on phone and told me that we can no longer carry on with the relationship because he has find himself a rich a lady whom he want to get married to. I shocked and hospitalize for 4 days. I was so tired and tried to take my life because i truly love him. All the investment was opened in his name and signature and i am left with nothing. One Sunday evening when i was searching online for help, i was directed to cafaispiritualtemple@yahoo.com.com. I contacted him and he told me what i need to provide for he to bring back my happiness

  28. Jessica,
    ! I can’t believe how fast the spell worked.Dr ogogoro My bf was back knocking at my door the day after you did my spell. Please put this up on your site so I can tell everybody if they are trying to decide weather or not to use you for there spells, they definitely should. Dr ogogoro is awesome!!!!! His spells really really really work! Thank you so much ogogorotemple@yahoo.com

  29. This article is making me very nervous! I’m 21 year old black girl who lives in the UK. Even though I have good A levels I dropped out of University because I just found out uni wasn’t for me. I have a Japanese boyfriend who’s around 30 years old. I don’t know how to cook, I have always been spoilt by my parents, and I speak my mind most of the time which some times gets me into trouble. The problem is he wants to get married and settle down. He wants to introduce me to his family and I’m extremely apprehensive. I haven’t even sorted my life yet and I’m scared his parents will disapprove of us. You lot are saying you have to be filthy rich to impress your man’s parents and I definitely don’t fall into that category. He says not to worry but I can’t help but worry. I can’t speak Japanese, I tried but it’s extremely hard. Ahhhhh I feel like pulling my head.

    • i understand where your coming from with some of this, i cant cook to save my life, i dropped out of college, i don’t earn great money, ive been with my Vietnamese boyfriend for about 7 months, i feel like im always being judge by his mum who dos not speak a great deal of English and i don’t know any Cantonese, i always feel like i cant please and i feel like im always making mistakes, i also feel like pulling my hair out

      • Guess I’m not the only one :( hope everything works out for you. I really do it sucks to love someone but know that their family will probably never accept you :/

  30. Giggled the whole time reading this; the second part about the soup totally killed it! I actually had a similar experience where a friend came over for dinner. My grandmother made some banging soup from her country with a “special” ingredient (chicken feet, with the nail and everything; it even grossed me out but it tasted too good for me to care)…she found out a little to late and…yeah, things did not bode well. xD

  31. thanks for the info, i am a white girl ive been with my Vietnamese boyfriend for 7 months now, we really love being together, but i feel like im constantly being judged by him mum and also my boyfriend from time to time, im not a rude person i just don’t know the culture that well when it comes to being wifey material , he want to to fill his dish with food be for i eat, that i don’t mind doing but when it comes to doing that with chop sticks , well that’s another story, i can just about hold them myself, im really trying to learn to hold them, but really love if you want your food to make it safely to you dish give me time time to get the hand of them otherwise im going to look silly, my boyfriend sometimes moans at me for not doing something or doing something wrong, i feel like giving up, help…

    • I know an Asian/White girl who dated an Asian guy and she wanted to have fun and go to bars and wouldn’t let her boyfriend go out with her because she told him that she “wanted to hang out with all the other guys” and he got mad after she cheated on him with another guy and beat the shit out of her.

      Keep in mind all you non-Asian as well as mixed race Asian girls, Asian guys hate getting their hearts broken and they hate confident girls because confident girls break hearts. And when guys get their hearts broken they become very violent. It happens all the times. Most Asian guys want their girls to be less confident.

    • I think this something you need to discuss with your boyfriend. You are unsure of what you are doing and he is expecting you to do something. This is not a cultural problem but a communication problem. You and your boyfriend need to discuss what is expected in your relationship and find some middle ground.

      Ignore the comment by LR, who obviously knows nothing. “Asian” men are not violent in general. “Asian” refers to a wide range of cultures and countries which all vary significantly, so how can a statement like that be true? Even within one culture there is a lot of variation.

  32. Superb blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on
    everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or
    go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused .. Any tips? Thank you!

  33. Just forwarded this to my Hispanic boyfriend in hopes of easing the eventual introduction, though I expect only a slightly milder reaction than when I dated a Black guy (“ANYBODY BUT BLACK!!!” you know the refrain…)

  34. Thanks for the tips. Although I think I already knew most of them. I love that you used Taeyang and Seungri! Haha. Time to get my Asian now. Lol.

  35. Hey buddy, I recently had this posted in response to something i posted and I want you to read it:

    Truth about the Asian guy that is serious.

    I had a couple of friends of mine sit down to have a pow wow session on what other women dont get about the serious asian guy. All of us have dated long-term or are still in a serious relationship with an asian guy. Here are the common mistakes that we found women do that do not 1- understand the Asian American or Asian male culture, 2 – have with themselves, or 3- obvious, reg male female issues. Here are the issues we found:

    1. Asian parents. If an Asian male (or any male) does not see a wife quality or maturity level that his parents would be comfortable with that will compensate the lack of you not being “asian”. Sure the guy may be open minded (serious guys only) but if he wants to try to get his family on board there has to be a “potential” in you as a female. Example, unwilling to be conservative, potty mouth, extreme attitudes with others, or as simple as unwilling to remove additional piercings when applicable – so many good asian men are into the “professional” potential female.

    2. Articulate and/or educated…. do i need to explain this? So you are not a college type of girl… okay, so what type of girl are you? Partying is fine, but modesty is the key. Are you wearing things at parties that accidently have your nipple popping out? How raunchy are you in public? There is a time and place for everything. We all know the saying “freak in the sheets lady in the streets”. Not freakalick…. If you dont want to be seen as just sex… then dont carry your self as such.

    3. Accountability. Okay, we all know that men are sex hungry. Okay deal. So if you lead a relationship by using sex as the bate… well when it ends, own up to it! You lured a guy with sex. So obviously he is out for sex (duh!). So if another girl starts to offer him that same luxury (because if you cherish your self, sex with you should be a luxury) you can not complain. Look how you thought you obtained him. If you have to keep his attention by being sexual… then you are allowing your self to be used… He is not using you… you are saying to him “hey use me!”.

    4. Daddy issues. Okay, this actually plays both ways. There are men that want to be your daddy. Especially if they are significantly older… common threads and research show a stronger DOMINANT trait. Including “control” issues. There is also the girl that wants to be told what to do, then realizes she has no control over her life… hmmm (didn’t think that one out did ya). Women dont realize this but that “I need a father figure or controller in my life” spews from your pours. Its like sugar to ants. Get your act together first so you can have some independent accomplishments. The divorce rates in many asian countries and amongst high age differences is increasing. Why? That is another post all together but a hint is these women “start to get a clue!” men dont like the change, and the battle of egos and testosterone begin. Threat of masculinity and authority take over the guy.

    5. If he is a seriously well balanced guy and takes you serious, he will want to get involved in the things you like to do. If your “bf” or other half wants you to do your stuff and only do his stuff, you have a issue. Especially if the stuff is culturally related. Example, when his asian friends or family is around you are not invited. He should have no issue with interracial activities!

    6. Last major point is stereo types and fetish warnings. If he wants or insist that you roll your neck , snap your fingers and get loud for kicks… that is his image of what a black female is he is extremely sheltered!! If you need him to have a certain hairstyle, know Asian artist, speak his heritage’s language … you are an Asian groupie…Grow the f UP! Asian men are not Pokemon cards and you are not the Pokemon Master… catching them all will catch you an STD.

    Sincerely,

    Ladies Who Asian Men (but mostly GOOD men)

    Rainier your feed back would be appreciated.

  36. My name is caro. i have read testimonies about this great spell caster called Dr.ogaday how he helped people to bring their lover back. so i decide to give him a try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great brought my ex back within 48 hours for just to contact him. this girl has broke up with me over 6weeks but she came back just within 48 hours that Dr ogaday said he will make her to come. just contact this man and he will bring your ex back here is his email address ogadayspellcaster@outlook.com or call +2348163974382

  37. oh man, I have been telling my american-Vietnamese date that I cannot cook. Even though I am a south Asian and understand the east asian culture a little bit, but boy. After reading this, I feel like I better get cracking with cooking skills and my career. Good thing I studied engineering.

  38. I am the happiest person on earth today because today My Seven years run away lover came back to me on his knees with tears on his eye begging me to please forgive him and accept him back, Dr.Grant a great Spell caster made this possible with the help of a spell. i saw his email address on the internet where a girl post on how Dr.Grant helped her so i decided to contact him and he told me that every thing will be fine and now i am happy because Dr.Grant is a man of his words because everything went well as he promised me. Are you having misunderstanding with your love or his your love seeing someone else? what is your problem that you which to solve? contact Dr.Grant today via email and every thing will be fine okay grantingheartdesiresspell@gmail.com.

  39. My name is Lamis Ghazali i am from United States, I was i a relationship with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 6 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, a day i can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because i answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but i refused,and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and i begged him because i love him so much but he refused me i was so down cast and i felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a Dr OSIAN that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back,a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first i was scared but i have to give this man a trial because i love Ben very much and i am not willing to loose him to any woman,so i ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex is came back to me with much love and a caring heart…i am testifying to this great Dr OSIAN of Goddess. if you need his help you can contact him on osianspelltemple@yahoo.com

  40. Hello friends, an awesome and amazing testimony about a Great spell caster i really love to share. My name is Phil Scott from the United States. Getting my wife back is what i least expected and could never imagine. I and my wife have been married for five years and we have been living happily but all of a sudden she changed completely and turned away from me and i never knew what was going on, i tried to ask her but she refused to tell me what the problem is, and as time went on she sought for a divorce. I was so worried and confused, and i did all my possible best to get her back but it wasn’t easy, i thought all hope was lost, and during my search for a way out, a friend of mine who had similar problem told me about a great spell caster called Great Eziza who helped him get back his wife also. I never believe in spell casting in my entire life or a magic because i never thought it will work but i tried to give this man a chance and to my greatest surprise, He cast a spell on me but today we are back together into a lovely home with three beautiful kids. We are happy together again and i am using this opportunity to tell anyone passing similar situation to contact him on ezizatempleofsolution@gmail. com and you will be the next to tell a new testimony.

  41. Surely times are a-changing, along with old mindsets and old paradigms about cultures and social structures. It is time to redefine the concepts of culture and family in order to liberate ourselves from the confines and shackles of social hierarchy, power, money, status and influence.

    Indeed, as the world awakens to the equality and egalitarianism of humankind, no longer do we seek to be accepted by others according to the system and mindset of the world. Our intrinsic worth and value as human beings need not and should not be based on what family members think of us, whether they be in-laws or whether they are associated with a particular race or culture.

    So what if a particular family member does not accept us for who we are just because we do not fit neatly into their little moulds or conform to their rigid ways of thinking, speaking and doing? Any form of racism and discrimination on their part would only reflect on how small-minded and ignorant they have become or chosen to remain so, if they continue to operate on the illusion of materialism and separation based on the artificial social constructs of race, class, and so on.

    We are all connected as one humanity, and it is to our own detriment and regression if we remain stuck in the old mindsets and old paradigms and lose our very humanity. The worth and dignity of our fellow human beings is much more than the traditions and cultures that people are attached to.

  42. I was married for 8years with out any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about Prophet Osaze from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Prophet Osaze for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address:”spirituallove@hotmail. com”

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  44. Probably all this testimony you read about spell casting online are spam right?And yeah some are spam some think all of them are spam which is totally not bad and i also know some believe spell casting really works but have not been able to find the right one. Well i think i found the right spell caster Metodo. I know he is real not cos he helped me but because i was there in his temple i Have seen him and his temple and i tell you it can’t get more really that what am writing now. I know you may want to know why and what lead me to contact a spell caster i am a south African woman here in south African as a matter of fact in Africa having a male child is like the most important thing in a marriage and it turned out that i am married to a very traditional man as in a he believes the male child carry the family name on and on but the females get married and change there name which is true. I were married for six years and i had no male child for him .Maybe friends and family filled his head with a lot of things like i don’t have a male child for him and as a result he need to get a divorce and get another wife that can bear him a male child. I always thought the people that filled his head with this ideas where is family and friends the people that i smile and dine with. The very people who ought to have advice him rightly. I never found out if they where involved in wanting to ruin life and my marriage. Not because i could not find out but cost i didn’t want to develop hatred for them cos i will always get to see them and it is not really healthy seeing the faces of people you hate. At that time, i mean before i knew my husband got himself a lover i was paranoid about him having a lover cos our lives changed a lot he starting coming home late he wouldn’t touch me any more and even he started avoiding me in our home making up excuses to stay all day in his study room doing nothing and telling me his need something off to clear his head. We had fights all the time i brought up the matter if he was see someone else. Maybe he got tired of lying i don’t know he finally asked for a divorce. A divorce my family saw him through his university and got him a got job i told myself and now he’s asking me for a divorce cos i don’t a male child yet for him. He was ready to let go of his three beautiful daughters he asked that i take them along. Maybe he was a real f**l and didn’t know what he had and maybe he didn’t deserve someone like me but one thing was crystal clear to me i was still in love with him and i wanted a complete family for my kid that and the fact that i raised him from the gutter i didn’t care about any of his problem when i married him and i forgot to say my father never approved our marriage but still i jumped into it thinking we are going to have each other forever. Though we are still together now but its cos of the spell i had metodo cast on him to make him see how much he needs me in this life. When i contacted metodo he asked that i get the materials for the spell which i did and delivered the materials to him in person that is to say i came in contact with him. I was to return in to his temple in 7 seven day and within those seven day he gave me a blessed a red candle asking that i command and say whatever i wanted every night within those seven days which i did on the seventh day when i returned to metodo temple he gave a harmless powerful substance with instruction on how to use it. This might seem like fiction or lie or what ever you lucky reads may think but deep down you know it true you just looking for a way not to get involved. I ve got my husband back and my family life couldn’t be better thanks to the spell though i don’t have a male child for him at least his them lover bore him one. contact him with his email if you want his help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com

  45. I, never believed in love spells until i met this world’s top spell caster. He is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and
    spell for a good job, spell to win a lottery, spells to be promoted in your work, spell to make hair longer, spell to cure any type of sickness, spell to get very rich and many more spell .I’m now happy and my life was upside down cos our relationship
    Has been on for two years… i really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him…at first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in seven d& a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me two weeks before our wedding days when i
    Returned to usa, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled
    With his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only
    Asked for my name and my boyfriend’s name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are
    Expecting our little kid and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell
    Caster for some help, contact his email address via:armandiamshaai@gmail.com

  46. After reading BRUNELDA NATO comment on laurenconrad. com about Metodo helping her cast a spell to fix her relationship, i was hmm.. will say considering doing the same thing cos my life was a total mess. On one hand my girlfriend now soon to be fiancé parent did not want me to be their son-in-law cos i did not belong to the upper class community and on the other hand, i moved from Latvia where my life and job was to be with my soon to be fiancé in Azerbaijan. I had no home there but just the apartment we both bought together. If am not mistaking her father is a famous lawyer to almost every rich person in Azerbaijan. She was going to help me get a job in her father law firm before she broke up with me because she was going to marry one of her father client. All this was before i contacted Metodo to see what he could for me. As i said her father was against our relationship and she was going to marry a 53 years old man for his money. She has always loved materials things but i never thought she would pick money over me. We were still see each other not as lover but secret lovers. I loved her too much to be sharing with a disgusting old man because he was rich. I don’t mean to disrespect any elderly person i just don’t like it when rich old or young persons try to take or take someone you hold dearly to your heart cos they have the money to do so. In my own case it happened that it was an old rich man wanting to take the woman i loved and still loved with all my heart and strength. She didn’t want to marry me but she wanted to be my lover in secret. I knew she loved me dearly but she was also in love with all the money and assets the man had. she knew i was content with what i had and what she had but she wanted to be so rich like adding riches ti what she already had. The date of the wedding was already set when i realized that if i don’t do something to stop the wedding i would lost her forever. It happened that i came across BRUNELDA NATO comment on laurenconrad. com as i search the INTERNET on how to make a woman realize living without you will be a great mistake where she wrote how metodo the spell caster helped her fix her marriage and how she came face to face in contact with Metodo and also how real and awesome he is. I just felt compelled to also contact him for help maybe i was not thinking clearly or i felt it was my only chance to make sure she soon to be fiancé doesn’t marry anyone else but me or maybe i felt both ways. I know something was clear to me that whatever action i took was my last chance to win her back. There and then i contacted Metodo cos i had no money to travel all the way to Chad. I just trusted BRUNELDA NATO testimony that he really exist and can help me solve my problem. It turned out that BRUNELDA NATO was right. Now i can also truthfully tell you that Metodo is really something out of ordinary he is the greatest spell caster you can ever meet. He sent me some items that he told me to use to pray with within the 7 days he was casting the spell i asked him to help me cast with the materials he told me to provide to for the spell casting. Within those seven days of incantation pray my soon to be fiancé developed something i don’t know what to call in her head that made the love she had for me resurface i say resurface love because she became that girl i fell in love with back in Latvia she told me she was going to call of the wedding but was scared what would happen to her father relationship with the man. But all those worried faded when Metodo sent the spell that looked like a powdery substances with instruction on how to make it effective. She called off the wedding and nothing happened it was like no one cared anymore not the man or her parent almost like it idea was yipped of their head. Whether anyone believe me or not it does really matter the only thing i care to say here is that Metodo is the ultimate spell caster anyone can ever ask for help. Am going to leave his mail in case Metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com

  47. My advice to any one who might be thinking of contacting a spell caster,is to contact Metodo i know he the only real spell caster i think still leaves his methods will speak and make you believe. I am not really that kind of person that disclose much about myself experience especially on the internet but today i am going to make an to exception I really never intended to say to anybody that i used a spell to get what i wanted in life not cos i am ashamed of it but cos some may never believe cos its seem like something that can never happen. All it take is to find the real and right spell caster. Am that kind of person that have always thought that marrying a rich man will set me free in financially as a matter of fact i have been married to to four different men all for money i guess after every divorce with every one of them i didn’t as much as i expected even when there was no prenuptial agreement signed. But When i met my firth to be husband,i never expected i will fall for him so much i mean he was so charming cute and for the first time he made me feel safe like he will always be here for me not matter what happens. For the first time i was in love. Maybe i don’t know what love is cos i never felt it for any one my ex husband the only detail i can give is that my heart literally beats fast when he was around me, anytime he ran his finger through my hair. I always knew my past will come to hurt me no matter what i do but i never gave it to much thought cos i never thought i will meet this kind of man. At the time i meant him ,it was not a while before the relationship became serious cos i bet he loved me also. We moved in together and our relationship just blosoomed. He was gentle with me always i mean my life was a fairy tale for a moment. But then again my past life that was to be left in the closet got out. I was so much in love to not tell him about my pasted life i just wanted to left him know like this was the person i use to be but cos of him i changed .He brought me to the light. I guess that was not the case he grew mad at me and thought i was going to do the same thing to him just like my exes. I don’t know if it was that in the last 4 years i have been married four time to four different men cos of their bank statement that made him mad of was that i didn’t tell him all this while. All the same after a while of not speaking with me he moved out. I thought he was going to call i just wanted to give him space i mean my friends suggested i did that but time few by with no call no text the only time he came back to our house was to pick his remaining things. The first man i have ever loved was walking out of my life just like a mist that comes and go i wanted him back to show him that he changed me to show him with him am a different person,He kept saying he would not want the same thing to happen to him just like my exes i believed he still loved he though he never said but that thought made me contact Metodo the spell caster for help. I saw positive comments about him and someone said she has actually seen, that is come in contact with him during the time he helped her. Was not really sure what to believe i just thought i was desperate i need help right away or i was going to lose my dream man for life. Like honestly i was not going to travel for over thirteen hours or so to look for metodo in were he leaves cos one i din’t know anybody there and two my run my private spa so i had little all not time and it will be an expensive thing to do. I could not also get the materials he needed to cast the spell so i had to ask him to get them for me so i can give him the money to pay for them. Within the first seven week he sent me a some candle with some hand written don’t really know what to call it but will say words to recite at night at the right hour. At that time within the seven days, Stephen started coming around all the time i mean i don’t think it was coincidental cos really it wasn’t. I believed what Metodo was doing was working. Just after those seven day i received a parcel with something he gave me instruction on how to use. This is no lie in anyway Stephen and i are back together now he is no slave to anything cos of the spell he is just the way he was before the spell only made him love me more and never talk or think about my past life. Not everybody will believe this more over its just something on the internet but my heart knows every of this word that formed this entire comment is true. Living Metodo contact for those who believes me and needs help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com

  48. Pingback: How To Do Makeup Black Girl | nursesbeauty.com

  49. Pingback: Asian Dating White Girl | Dating Around Me

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