Advice for Non-Asian Girls: 4 Tips on How To Impress Your Future Asian In-Laws

So you’re have sex with an Asian guy… COOL BEANS! What next? Oh, well I GUESS the next step is to meet his parents, right? Right!

"Let's go meet our parents! YEAAA!"

If you’re a non-Asian girl meeting your boyfriends Asian parents, you are already at a disadvantage. All the rumors you’ve heard about Asian parents being strict and mean? 100% true. Asian parents can be vicious, judgmental, and even a tad bit racist. But here’s the thing:

Whenever I hear stories about non-Asians meeting their future In-Laws, it always goes something like “Oh man, at first I was so nervous! But once they got to know me, they loved me! We were having a blast and we even played twister!” Yea ummm, about that…

"ha..haha...haha.... yeaaaa, that's not gonna work."

Asian parents don’t give a FUCK if you can play twister with your legs tied together while playing “Like a G6″ on the violin. Sadly, Asian parents are very materialistic, and they care about status and wealth. So before you stand in front of the mirror chanting “Just be yourself!” realize that in the world of  Asian culture, yourself may not be good enough.

But fear not, my Asian loving goddesses! I have the solutions! Here are some tips for you Non-Asian ladies which will gain you some credibility, trust, and above all, honor, within our family. Buckle up, it’s going to be one herravu good time!

Peter Le Takes Shots every time I post a new blog.

1. Have a Great Job and Make Lots of Money

"MONEY IS GOOD. GOOD IS MONEY. YAY MONEY!"

Money may not buy you romantic love, but it can sure buy you love from Asian parents. You see, Asians are very aware of their status in society. We constantly keep tabs on who’s making money, and who’s buying the latest gadgets. We notice when the neighbor buys a new BMW so when the 2014 model comes out, we can top them by buying it – in black and white. It’s an unfortunate reality but in the Asian household, money is the head of the house. Fuck happiness, they want money, honey!

So one of the best ways to win over Asian parents is to have a good job that pays well. And by good job I mean: Doctor, Lawyer, Nurse, Engineer, or something that an Asian would do.

"You're a Doctor? WELCOME TO THE FAMILY! Oh, btw, what's your name?"

Now of course, not all of us can score an 800% on the calculus-z test like Akbar Jabeer, and land a job working on Area 51 Spaceships. No worries! I suck at Math too! But as long as you can show that you earn a decent living, our parents won’t complain. But be aware: You might be earning a comfortable $50,000 a year but if your boyfriend’s parents earn $120,000, they sorta expect you to keep up with them – if not now, then eventually.

So what can you do if you don’t make that money?

"I durn know how to make more monies :/"

2. Have a Job That Is Reputable

As I said before, Asian parents give a big shit about reputation. The irony is that Asians have really nice houses, fancy cars, nice clothes, yet we eat at the cheapest of restaurants, and we steal a shit load of napkins from McDonalds. But it doesn’t matter. To them, what you see is what’s important. For all I know, my Asian friend with his red Porsche could be wiping his ass with old Taco Bell receipts.

So if you’re not earning 6 figures, the best thing to do is to have a job that has social value. Something that’s prestigious, noble, or professional. Basically, if you’re working in an office, a tech company, the medical field, or you’re simply an engineer of any kind (A Subway Sandwich “Engineer” doesn’t count), you will be viewed as part of the money makin’ family (due to the fact that within your industry, if you get promoted, you could make a lot of money.) So plop that reputable paycheck on the table cuz baby, we’re going to Quiznos for dinner!

"OOOOOOHH LAAAAAAAWWWWDD!"

3. Eat Our Food and ENJOY IT!

"OMG! I LOVE IT WHEN ASIAN THINGS ARE IN MY MOUTH!"

As of now, my older brother is dating a White girl. They’ve been together for about 2+ years and she’s really adjusted to the family. This is primarily due to the fact that at one point, she actually moved into our house. Now, I don’t take much space (all I need is my laptop, T.V, and the fridge, and you can take the rest) so I was pretty cool with her staying. But my mom on the other hand, wasn’t.

One day we were getting ready for dinner and my mom slaved over a pot of Filipino soup. The soup was darn good and you eat it with fish sauce and sometimes shrimp paste. As we slobbered and slurped in a loud frenzy, my brothers girlfriend placed her bowl on the table, and started to eat. Only she wasn’t eating my mom’s food, but rather, a bowl of Macaroni and Cheese.

Really now? Macaroni? REALLY?!

What happened next seemed to have appeared in slow motion, because damn son, it was intense! My mom looked at her and asked

Mom: You’re not going to eat the soup?
My Brother’s Girlfriend: Oh no, it’s okay!
Mom: ..hmmm

NO! IT IS NOT OKAY! OH LORD! WHY DID YOU DO THAT! YOU DUN WOKEN UP THE SLEEPING DRAGON! My mom then threw the boiling soup onto her face, causing her skin to bleed! LOL! Okay fine, that last part didn’t happen, but I could see it in her eyes that she was disappointed. Whether my brother’s girlfriend liked the soup or not, the fact that she didn’t try it was what killed her reputation.

You see, as immigrants from Asia, we try to be Americanized but at the same time, we hold a tight grip on the few traditions and customs we have. Food is one of the biggest ones. And if you’re not willing to try our soup, and our smelly fish sauce, then (in the eyes of our parents) you’re basically telling us “When your son and I have kids, I’m not going to feed them your Asian crap!”

"Ummm....yahhhh, so, I'm not gonna feed my babies any of this Chicken Chow Mein Shet. Mmmkay?"

So please, come in with an open mind, and be down! My mom LOVES it when we have non-Asians guests that try out our weird and wacky food. To her, it’s entertaining and it brings her happiness to see our culture being accepted by others. But above all, EAT THE DAMN SOUP!

"EAT THE FOOOOD!"

4. Take The Family Out For Dinner

"Free food? OH HOW WONDERFUL! SO DERICIOUS!"

Hugging my mom? Kissing my baby cousin? Do you honestly think that’s enough to win over my family?

One of the secrets about Asian culture is that if you want to show that you care, you feed someone. To us, food is the currency of love. The idea of nurturing someone’s hunger and ultimately, their health, is seen as one of the most highly regarded acts in all Asian culture. Whether it’s a basket of pork buns, a bag of fresh kiwis, or an order of peking duck, food is the ultimate game killer.

You could be taking a shit on our front porch but as long as you bring home some good (Asian) food, we don’t give a damn! Now of course, the type of food you give should be dependent on the family in question. Don’t just roll into a Chinese family and expect your Panda Express orange chicken to win any hearts. You have to be smart. Talk to your boyfriend and ask him what you should buy. Or, better yet, take the entire family out for dinner!

"Grandpa, what do you think of my new Mexican girlfriend?!" "Yea she's cool--OOOH! SHRIMP DUMPLINGS!"

Asian people love free stuff. Free samples, free coupons, and free money. But what they also love is when people take them out for a free meal. OOOOOOOH! I can already feel my inner Chinaman jumping for joy! ^_^ But once again, depending on how traditional you boyfriend’s family is, you need to pick an appropriate spot that will appeal to their taste buds. Some families would be happy with a trip to Outback Steakhouse, while others prefer a trip elsewhere. (pssst! Dim Sum is always a good bet!)

Once you fill everyone’s yellow belly, you will see the tension disappear. But wait! You must not forget to pay for dinner. I know this sounds like a no brainer, but in Asian culture, paying for dinner is a sign of honor and respect. It also shows that you have money and that you’re a good host. So if you can, before everyone finishes, secretly take care of the check, that way none of the Asian parents get a hold of it first. After a few of these dinners and a couple baskets of fresh pork buns, you’re in the clear!

Congrats babe! No one hates you!

RANIER, ARE YOU SERIOUS?


Look: The advice in this blog is relative, but honestly, I find it to be very relevant and very true. It doesn’t need to be said that the most important thing of all is to be honest, respectful, and polite. But just understand that Asian culture is very very different from others. You can’t just employ the same tactics that your Latin family enjoys, and apply it to us. If you do, you just might have to hang yourself.

So don’t forget: get a reputable job, make good money, take us out to eat, and EAT THE GODDAMN SOUP!


65 thoughts on “Advice for Non-Asian Girls: 4 Tips on How To Impress Your Future Asian In-Laws

  1. Sooooo true. Wish you had written this when Hubby and I were still dating (w/c was 1000 years ago. Ha!) because now not only is he the “not Filipino husband” but he is also merely the second favorite son-in-law because he didn’t eat the damn bangus. Worse, when me snd hub fight, she manages to somehow mention my charming and loaded ex and how he used to take HER out to TGIFridays for her b-day every year. Haha. This really is sum seriously true shet. Well done!

    • Everything you said is right on the money. I’m african american but I look exotic because my parents are light skinned. I dated an asian for the first time and it was the certainly an experience. They take cooking very seriously and its like a gateway to common ground for them. ADVICE for all girls dating asian men or want to…you better shove that shit down no matter how disgusted you are. They have a close family bond so everything you say or do that they don’t like will go around like crazy. From experience…what falco says is very true btu one thing he didn’t mention was “to hang in there.” It may take months before you even begin to get them to crack a smile at you. patience is def a virtue. Awesome post falco!

      • Thanks Falco and Mariah for the comments. Yes he asked me if I can cook and requested my ‘best” native dish (Bahamian)…so I said we really eat allot of fish :)
        I have already made a mental note to just eat whatever is presented to me, smile and keep it moving…..
        He’s Vietnamese by the way.

  2. Ha Ha this is funny. I’m Korean and my wife is African American and a Pharmacist. My parents love her. But wifey complains that whenever she’s out with my mom she always introduces her to people with she’s a pharmacist.

  3. So True… I had to laugh at some of it. Ja sung and I are just friends and his mom introduces me the same way, she works at the hospital this is Rose..

  4. My bf n I are taveling soon to meet my in-laws back in Asia… I’m a surgery assistant working towards Med. School, and I do love fish sauce! Lol spices , bring it on! And if they do cook, maaaaannnn… I’ll b the first one in the line. Yes, I’m a food lover. :) hope they like me.

  5. AHAHAHA!! THAT was a fantastic article; LOVED IT!

    My partner has been prepping me for the “Big Meet” this summer, when his folks, younger sister/her hubby come to here this summer from Hong Kong… FOR TWO FRICKIN’ MONTHS. Yes, they’ll be staying at our place the whole time, lol!

    In the meantime, I’ve been studying Mandarin, CLEANING within an inch of my life in between the bloody renos, and learning to make his mom’s dumplings. Who’d think little balls of pork and dough would be so difficult?!? Thank god, I can already do perfect rice, fantastic veg, a simple, but delicious chow mien, and I actually get ridiculously excited when my honey and me pick up bbq’d eel from the market, so I guess I can eat just about anything.

    I bought him a HU-MUNG-GOUS top ‘o the line TV for Christmas that looks very large and expensive in our family room, so hoping that will help kiss-up, as well.

    Your check list is EXACTLY what my Canadian-born, HK-raised, North Americanized partner said when he first mentioned his family was coming for a “visit”.

    Love it; Keep it Up :)

    • Well, Michelle, it seems like you’re on your way to being inducted into the Asian family – welcome! :D

      I’m sure you’ll do great and receive great praise from his parents :)

  6. Pingback: Hottie of the Week: Just One More Reason to Love Me. « Beyond Black & White

  7. Thanks for the advice! You had me cracking up. You are a very funny guy. I love Asian culture and the food. I’m willing to try anything! If I ever meet my Asian prince this advice will definitely come in handy. :)

  8. Pingback: Advice for Non-Asian Girls: 4 Tips on How To Impress Your Future Asian In-Laws (via ) « blackandyellowambw

  9. rotfl. the mac & cheese incident was hilarious. that one was kind of a no brainer though. i’m black, and if my mom cooks you’d better eat it. she will totally put you out of her house for making something else lol.

    • true. I don’t think it’s an Asian thing, i just think it is bad manners to make something else when you are a guest in someone else’s house and they have made a family meal. It is like by rejecting their food you are rejecting their hospitality and therefore them personally. … My mum is Ukrainian and she would lose it if someone did that!

  10. lol…love it! It’s all very true! Growing up we had lots of zip lock bags filled with salt/pepper/ketchup packets from fast food joints.

    You should throw in “show that you know how to cook (a.k.a. their son won’t go hungry and die if he marries you” and “call my mom auntie and NEVER by their first name”

  11. #3 should be a no brainer, but it always surprises me when people don’t get it. When I was dating my ex who was straight from China we used to eat at the hard core places where the only menu available was what I called the “secret menu” written in chinese characters and he’d order stuff that used to make me cry intestines, frog, abolone etc…but I’d eat it all with a smile on my face even though I hated every minute of it. Filipino’s have crazy ass foods that I don’t even like to touch, so I always did it out of respect for his culture because I’d feel bad if he refused to eat something in front of my family.

  12. I’ve dated a Pinoy before…and yes, I ate the damn soup. Even “chocolate soup.”

    I found that, if you absolutely do not want to eat something (anywhere, this isn’t necessarily culturally related), just say you’re allergic to it. It’s turning it down without being 100% rude. Of course, this doesn’t work with all foods, but when you don’t want to eat something and it has cashews in it, you’re good to go :D

  13. Thankx! lol this makes alot of sense (: I love asians lol theyre all so pretty, and they really know how to make some money lol i wanna learn

  14. I still have so much trouble with the food thing and I have been with my husband for 10 years now. Why do they take it soo personally jeez its just food

  15. I am a Chinese. I have to say that the first and the second is not true at all. Maybe your parents and other parents you know of think that way, but there are lots of Asian parents think exactly the opposite. Personal experience, most parents(my parents and my friend’s.(My Mom thinks a kind heart, caring, and whether she truly loves you is something should be considered in the first place) ) I know well enough do not consider a money-making job or a reputable job is the priority for judgement or preference. Sure, there are large amount of Asian parents expect their daughter-in-law to be somebody can honor their family and they think the honor has to do with money and reputation. (This is plain wrong. I don’t agree with it.) To those non-Asian girls, I have to say that the basis of relationship with your Asian parents is FRIENDSHIP, just like any other relationship..If there is a emotional connection between you guys, things will turn out to be just fine. It actually does not matter that much in the beginning whether they like you or not, whether you feel you can fit into the extended family or not, what matter is whether there is a emotional connection can be build in the long term through interactions. Asian parents looks pretty strict and tough when you first see they, but they are pretty emotional-driven inside once you really get to know them. They will compromise, try to understand, and you will find them not express it in words but in action. Asian parents are way more emotional than you can ever imagine. If they think you are a GOOD person, honest, true, kind, polite, they will accept you no matter what how much you make and what you do. In the experience of interracial marriage, Asian parents are the learner learning to adapt it too. After all, I believe there are universal values underlying different expression and look for the common values.

    • I agree with u not all asian families are like his for most part I think his family is in that way rude and selfish.I think tat its not culture thing I think just most asian families are just racist and expect to much. But anyways im happy I never got involve with asian man I try to at first but I rather stick to latino men.

  16. Another thing, if you cheat on an Asian guy with either your own race, his race, or other races, or mistreat him in any other way, it’s even worse. His parents will insult you or even make their son beat or even kill you. I read a recent news article about a White girl who got killed by her Asian (Chinese) boyfriend because she was cheating on him with her White ex-boyfriend and some other White and Black guys as well. And his family made him do it! In addition to that, they’re all in jail because of this. You know how Asian parents are, very strict and perfectionistic, even to the point when their son’s girlfriend makes mistakes and misbehaves. In other words, Asian parents are extremely unforgiving. And I also know of some Non-Asian and Asian girls who dated Asian guys who were very strict, perfectionist, and controlling like their parents. Any mistake they made, the guy’s parents and/or the guy becomes very abusive to them. And dating Asian guys is very stressful for Non-Asian girls. They’re so possessive, overbearing, and clingy, yet Asian girls date or marry these guys because their parents tell them to do so.

    In addition, you don’t ask a guy’s parents if you want to date him. They’ll ostracize and shame you and never let you see him again, nor ask him out on a date and/or pay. Most Asian guys hate it. They’ll either give you attitude or punch you in the face. Same thing if you approach him and strike conversations, buy him a drink at a bar, make advances or comments, especially sexual ones, compliment him, text, call, or email him, hold doors open for him, etc. I’ve seen Non-Asian and Asian girls do that to Asian guys and they wound up being insulted or beaten up. In other words, never court Asian guys. Let them always be the one to court you instead. Asian dating and relationships are never equal at all. There’s always strict gender norms.

    • In other words, Asian guys are even most likely to hit their girlfriends and wives for cheating and getting pregnant by the other man, except Japanese who don’t mind their wife or girlfriend having a baby with their manstress (male mistress), especially if he’s of another race. Japanese guys are more relaxed and calm and less likely to be possessive and jealous. Chinese, Filipino, Korean, Vietnamese, Indian, Pakistani, etc. They’re the most possessive and strict. My boyfriend who is Filipino, said that his younger sister cheated on her fiance, who’s Filipino-Chinese, behind his back with a persistent White guy friend of hers, who he and his family totally hate, and wound up pregnant and he called her names and beat her up for it. And he and his parents are also ostracizing her and calling her names as well and threatening to kick her out of their life for doing this to him, even though they are getting married this coming spring, including their half White-Asian child as well. Plus, he and his sister’s fiance also got into a fight with her White guy friend as well. Most Asians parents, boyfriends, and husbands don’t forgive their daughters, girlfriends, and wives for cheating with other guys and getting pregnant. Instead, they become verbally and physically abusive when girls do this.

      My boyfriend says that if he ever catches me cheating on him with other guys, I’m either going to get it from him, his family, and my family, since they are Filipino as well.

      I mean, Black guys, on the other hand, are the least possessive and jealous and don’t mind their women associating with other men and getting them in the sack as well. White, Hispanic, Asian, and Middle Eastern guys are the most possessive, controlling, and jealous. If their wife or girlfriend gets pregnant by another guy, they blow up into a violent rage real easily, as well as both of their families. It’s common and it’s no wonder relationship violence is higher among those races, compared to Blacks, who are more authoritative versus authoritarian.

      • Well your wrong maybe you consider how our strictness lead to good things as well such as money and intelligence, look at africa its a third world country
        And plus i dunno wats wrong with those guys and your boyfriend. I am a chinese and I have a british,spanish flipina girlfriend shes mixed, and I would never ever hit her in my life never. If she ever cheated on me why should i use voilence its common sense, I would just leave her in its her loss.

        Please dont assume that all asian boyfriends are voilent.
        If anything here offended you I dont mean to.

  17. ^ stop dating wife-beaters of any race, and life will get lots better. (Would it sound more profound if I said I read it in a fortune cookie?)

  18. Um Im bit worried about the job aspect of this article. I live in the UK and Im black and Im applying to study Animation at University. My bf is Malay-Chinese and hes going on to study Economics at University but after reading your article, it sounds like the career I want to go to wont be accepted :( His family is overly academic, he once told me that his parents didnt want his little sister to add art to one of her choices at secondary school (He never said why)…
    My Bf is a really cool guy, always joking, really nice and always caring but Im scared to high heaven of meeting his parents and thankfully he understands and said he will only tell them about me (They dont know hes dating anyone yet) until Im ready. We agreed to tell them after we finish 6th form (College) but Im not sure they will accept the career I want to do. I love animation, design and over all art but it sounds like to your article, Im not gunna make a good impression to his parents…
    This is going to sound stupid but, what can I do to improve my chances of them liking me?
    all advice is helpful!

  19. I am white live in the UK and am meeting my Asian / malaysian / indian in-laws for the first time next week and i willl be staying with them in their house for two weeks. I did meet his father during my husbands graduation. Words can not describe how soooooooooooooooooooo nervous i am lol . Great advice on here tho thanks!!!! Also from what i know already about my Asian family i have to say that i quite agree with xiaowei li’s post. Thanks xiaowei li xx !!! :-)

  20. I was cracking up at the macaroni story because something like this happened in my house about two years go but it was even worst.
    At dinner time.When every1 was about to gather around the table, a female friend of mine who was visiting goes hunting thru the fridge and grabs ingrediants by the handful and proceeds to make kimchi fried rice, not asking for any permission but acting as if it were her own home. We aren’t korean but boy does my mom love kimchi, so she always makes batch always ready in the fridge.

    Upon finishing making the kimchi fried rice, she brings it over to the table and places it down and start going in, while not even touching anything my mom had prepared. It was one hardest experience I’ve ever faced, o how I was nervous that my mom wasn’t going to to stick a chopstick down her throat. Afterwards, mom pulls me aside and tells me staright up “I do not like her, no girlfriend!”
    She has not been to my house since… so don’t go around doing something this stupid people, first impressions are huge.

  21. Don’t be a bad girl. Most Asian in-laws will treat you like a slave and order their son you’re with to beat you up. Most Asian guys don’t like bad girls and if they end up with one, they’ll kill them. Be careful all you bad girls. You know how authoritarian Asian guys and their parents are. They want their girls to be perfect without any flaws and mistakes.

    • Plus, Asian men don’t like women who smile and women who are desired and attractive by others which is why Asian men get very possessive.

    • This is so so True….Love the way you put this. . .Eat the soup and for Gods sake don’t talk about things like problems that make em Lose Face in public. That’s a sure way to Instant buzz kill.
      My boyfriend for the past two years is very much like Falco and others say, however he is from the Mountain country side in China and doesn’t focus his energy on my job and my money.when I make more than him it sends him in a panic mode that he can’t take care of me.
      He wants me to focus on our children and work less.he believes a little money to have in my pocket is Ok .He is prideful and doesn’t want to feel he’s not able to care for me.
      The thing about not smiling. This is not true with my asian boyfriend at all.if I look happy and smile he’s happy.if I don’t smile he thinks maybe I’m sad and therefore garbage talk or I too much outside thoughts ruled my thoughts.so he suggests maybe its chai gong time so my smile can reappear

  22. hahahahah Lol…is sooo true ,my husband in chinese,i´m Spanish..and my family in laws hate me !! i try all the food,i have a good job..but are culture is so different ..one thing u didn´t say about asian is that they´ll never “lose the face” (at list chinese) even if they don´t like u (or the hate u like in my case) they won´t openly show it…so don´t worry not need to kill ur self..just smile and don´t talk much..i been with my husband for 10 years and he isn´t going any where ^_^

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    Mrs Helen Andersen, Seattle, United States

  24. Two things I did to get on my Korean In-law’s good side. Although I don’t have a good job and I’m a writer/artist, I sent them a very large painting of mine before we headed over to Korea. When we got there they had it hanging on the wall because they loved it so much. You have to do the ground work first. You can’t just show up and be like “hey I’m marrying your only son!”

    The second thing was: I ate the food! Even if I didn’t like it (but luckily I mostly did) I ate it all. That earns many points.

    A few other things that helped. I lightened my hair so it was blonder, I’m kinda skinny, and tall for Korean people. So when we showed up in the tiny town in rural Korea my fiance’s parents were like “oooo she is blonde, skinny and tall!” Points for me.

    Luckily for me, his parents are lovely and there was never any issues. Even before they met me they said “if you love her, we will love her.”

  25. I have never come across such a great spell caster that is so honest in all my life. This man at drfinalsolution@yahoo.com is so good at his love spell casting work. He cast a love spell that brought my ex wife back and now we are happy together. Even my ex wife’s family that caused our break up are now in support of our union. Cos this great spell caster at drfinalsolution@yahoo.com initially said it will happen that way and manner and it indeed happened just like that as if i was dreaming. Thank you one million much drfinalsolution@yahoo.com
    From tracy Carlson.
    toronto,cananda.

  26. I met this spell through a friends description and he told me that he help him to get his wife back when another man took her from him and then i decided to try him out and i discover that he is the best and he is very powerful and just yesterday my husband whom i thought will never come back to me came and said to me that he was sorry for leaving me. i am now so happy that my desire have been fulfilled. thank to the Dr.Zack Balo of the wiseindividualspell@gmail.com he is so powerful.

  27. I and John has been together for 5 years. We both put our capital together to open a supermarket and since then we have been living happily without any problem. I always discuss about marriage with John but he replies me with, we will soon get married. I was surprise on Friday evening when i was in my brother’s house, John called me on phone and told me that we can no longer carry on with the relationship because he has find himself a rich a lady whom he want to get married to. I shocked and hospitalize for 4 days. I was so tired and tried to take my life because i truly love him. All the investment was opened in his name and signature and i am left with nothing. One Sunday evening when i was searching online for help, i was directed to cafaispiritualtemple@yahoo.com.com. I contacted him and he told me what i need to provide for he to bring back my happiness

  28. Jessica,
    ! I can’t believe how fast the spell worked.Dr ogogoro My bf was back knocking at my door the day after you did my spell. Please put this up on your site so I can tell everybody if they are trying to decide weather or not to use you for there spells, they definitely should. Dr ogogoro is awesome!!!!! His spells really really really work! Thank you so much ogogorotemple@yahoo.com

  29. This article is making me very nervous! I’m 21 year old black girl who lives in the UK. Even though I have good A levels I dropped out of University because I just found out uni wasn’t for me. I have a Japanese boyfriend who’s around 30 years old. I don’t know how to cook, I have always been spoilt by my parents, and I speak my mind most of the time which some times gets me into trouble. The problem is he wants to get married and settle down. He wants to introduce me to his family and I’m extremely apprehensive. I haven’t even sorted my life yet and I’m scared his parents will disapprove of us. You lot are saying you have to be filthy rich to impress your man’s parents and I definitely don’t fall into that category. He says not to worry but I can’t help but worry. I can’t speak Japanese, I tried but it’s extremely hard. Ahhhhh I feel like pulling my head.

    • i understand where your coming from with some of this, i cant cook to save my life, i dropped out of college, i don’t earn great money, ive been with my Vietnamese boyfriend for about 7 months, i feel like im always being judge by his mum who dos not speak a great deal of English and i don’t know any Cantonese, i always feel like i cant please and i feel like im always making mistakes, i also feel like pulling my hair out

      • Guess I’m not the only one :( hope everything works out for you. I really do it sucks to love someone but know that their family will probably never accept you :/

  30. Giggled the whole time reading this; the second part about the soup totally killed it! I actually had a similar experience where a friend came over for dinner. My grandmother made some banging soup from her country with a “special” ingredient (chicken feet, with the nail and everything; it even grossed me out but it tasted too good for me to care)…she found out a little to late and…yeah, things did not bode well. xD

  31. thanks for the info, i am a white girl ive been with my Vietnamese boyfriend for 7 months now, we really love being together, but i feel like im constantly being judged by him mum and also my boyfriend from time to time, im not a rude person i just don’t know the culture that well when it comes to being wifey material , he want to to fill his dish with food be for i eat, that i don’t mind doing but when it comes to doing that with chop sticks , well that’s another story, i can just about hold them myself, im really trying to learn to hold them, but really love if you want your food to make it safely to you dish give me time time to get the hand of them otherwise im going to look silly, my boyfriend sometimes moans at me for not doing something or doing something wrong, i feel like giving up, help…

    • I know an Asian/White girl who dated an Asian guy and she wanted to have fun and go to bars and wouldn’t let her boyfriend go out with her because she told him that she “wanted to hang out with all the other guys” and he got mad after she cheated on him with another guy and beat the shit out of her.

      Keep in mind all you non-Asian as well as mixed race Asian girls, Asian guys hate getting their hearts broken and they hate confident girls because confident girls break hearts. And when guys get their hearts broken they become very violent. It happens all the times. Most Asian guys want their girls to be less confident.

    • I think this something you need to discuss with your boyfriend. You are unsure of what you are doing and he is expecting you to do something. This is not a cultural problem but a communication problem. You and your boyfriend need to discuss what is expected in your relationship and find some middle ground.

      Ignore the comment by LR, who obviously knows nothing. “Asian” men are not violent in general. “Asian” refers to a wide range of cultures and countries which all vary significantly, so how can a statement like that be true? Even within one culture there is a lot of variation.

  32. Superb blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on
    everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or
    go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused .. Any tips? Thank you!

  33. Just forwarded this to my Hispanic boyfriend in hopes of easing the eventual introduction, though I expect only a slightly milder reaction than when I dated a Black guy (“ANYBODY BUT BLACK!!!” you know the refrain…)

  34. Thanks for the tips. Although I think I already knew most of them. I love that you used Taeyang and Seungri! Haha. Time to get my Asian now. Lol.

  35. Hey buddy, I recently had this posted in response to something i posted and I want you to read it:

    Truth about the Asian guy that is serious.

    I had a couple of friends of mine sit down to have a pow wow session on what other women dont get about the serious asian guy. All of us have dated long-term or are still in a serious relationship with an asian guy. Here are the common mistakes that we found women do that do not 1- understand the Asian American or Asian male culture, 2 – have with themselves, or 3- obvious, reg male female issues. Here are the issues we found:

    1. Asian parents. If an Asian male (or any male) does not see a wife quality or maturity level that his parents would be comfortable with that will compensate the lack of you not being “asian”. Sure the guy may be open minded (serious guys only) but if he wants to try to get his family on board there has to be a “potential” in you as a female. Example, unwilling to be conservative, potty mouth, extreme attitudes with others, or as simple as unwilling to remove additional piercings when applicable – so many good asian men are into the “professional” potential female.

    2. Articulate and/or educated…. do i need to explain this? So you are not a college type of girl… okay, so what type of girl are you? Partying is fine, but modesty is the key. Are you wearing things at parties that accidently have your nipple popping out? How raunchy are you in public? There is a time and place for everything. We all know the saying “freak in the sheets lady in the streets”. Not freakalick…. If you dont want to be seen as just sex… then dont carry your self as such.

    3. Accountability. Okay, we all know that men are sex hungry. Okay deal. So if you lead a relationship by using sex as the bate… well when it ends, own up to it! You lured a guy with sex. So obviously he is out for sex (duh!). So if another girl starts to offer him that same luxury (because if you cherish your self, sex with you should be a luxury) you can not complain. Look how you thought you obtained him. If you have to keep his attention by being sexual… then you are allowing your self to be used… He is not using you… you are saying to him “hey use me!”.

    4. Daddy issues. Okay, this actually plays both ways. There are men that want to be your daddy. Especially if they are significantly older… common threads and research show a stronger DOMINANT trait. Including “control” issues. There is also the girl that wants to be told what to do, then realizes she has no control over her life… hmmm (didn’t think that one out did ya). Women dont realize this but that “I need a father figure or controller in my life” spews from your pours. Its like sugar to ants. Get your act together first so you can have some independent accomplishments. The divorce rates in many asian countries and amongst high age differences is increasing. Why? That is another post all together but a hint is these women “start to get a clue!” men dont like the change, and the battle of egos and testosterone begin. Threat of masculinity and authority take over the guy.

    5. If he is a seriously well balanced guy and takes you serious, he will want to get involved in the things you like to do. If your “bf” or other half wants you to do your stuff and only do his stuff, you have a issue. Especially if the stuff is culturally related. Example, when his asian friends or family is around you are not invited. He should have no issue with interracial activities!

    6. Last major point is stereo types and fetish warnings. If he wants or insist that you roll your neck , snap your fingers and get loud for kicks… that is his image of what a black female is he is extremely sheltered!! If you need him to have a certain hairstyle, know Asian artist, speak his heritage’s language … you are an Asian groupie…Grow the f UP! Asian men are not Pokemon cards and you are not the Pokemon Master… catching them all will catch you an STD.

    Sincerely,

    Ladies Who Asian Men (but mostly GOOD men)

    Rainier your feed back would be appreciated.

  36. My name is caro. i have read testimonies about this great spell caster called Dr.ogaday how he helped people to bring their lover back. so i decide to give him a try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great brought my ex back within 48 hours for just to contact him. this girl has broke up with me over 6weeks but she came back just within 48 hours that Dr ogaday said he will make her to come. just contact this man and he will bring your ex back here is his email address ogadayspellcaster@outlook.com or call +2348163974382

  37. oh man, I have been telling my american-Vietnamese date that I cannot cook. Even though I am a south Asian and understand the east asian culture a little bit, but boy. After reading this, I feel like I better get cracking with cooking skills and my career. Good thing I studied engineering.

  38. I am the happiest person on earth today because today My Seven years run away lover came back to me on his knees with tears on his eye begging me to please forgive him and accept him back, Dr.Grant a great Spell caster made this possible with the help of a spell. i saw his email address on the internet where a girl post on how Dr.Grant helped her so i decided to contact him and he told me that every thing will be fine and now i am happy because Dr.Grant is a man of his words because everything went well as he promised me. Are you having misunderstanding with your love or his your love seeing someone else? what is your problem that you which to solve? contact Dr.Grant today via email and every thing will be fine okay grantingheartdesiresspell@gmail.com.

  39. My name is Lamis Ghazali i am from United States, I was i a relationship with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 6 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, a day i can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because i answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but i refused,and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and i begged him because i love him so much but he refused me i was so down cast and i felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a Dr OSIAN that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back,a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first i was scared but i have to give this man a trial because i love Ben very much and i am not willing to loose him to any woman,so i ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex is came back to me with much love and a caring heart…i am testifying to this great Dr OSIAN of Goddess. if you need his help you can contact him on osianspelltemple@yahoo.com

  40. Hello friends, an awesome and amazing testimony about a Great spell caster i really love to share. My name is Phil Scott from the United States. Getting my wife back is what i least expected and could never imagine. I and my wife have been married for five years and we have been living happily but all of a sudden she changed completely and turned away from me and i never knew what was going on, i tried to ask her but she refused to tell me what the problem is, and as time went on she sought for a divorce. I was so worried and confused, and i did all my possible best to get her back but it wasn’t easy, i thought all hope was lost, and during my search for a way out, a friend of mine who had similar problem told me about a great spell caster called Great Eziza who helped him get back his wife also. I never believe in spell casting in my entire life or a magic because i never thought it will work but i tried to give this man a chance and to my greatest surprise, He cast a spell on me but today we are back together into a lovely home with three beautiful kids. We are happy together again and i am using this opportunity to tell anyone passing similar situation to contact him on ezizatempleofsolution@gmail. com and you will be the next to tell a new testimony.

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