Interracial Dating Rant #3 – Finding Love In Korea = Bullshit, Asian Men Who Are Assholes + More!

Some people really blow my mind with their stupidity. I mean forreals, some folks are so dumb you just have to sit back and MARVEL at how idiotic they are.

"The stupidity... it's so AMAZING!"

1. I Want To Visit Korea To Find Myself An Asian Boyfriend!

You're like the Women on Desperate Housewives... minus the Housewife part

Are you fucking kidding me? If you can’t even hook up with Kenny Hong, the Asian guy that works at Subway, then how the hell are you gonna find yourself a boyfriend all the way in Korea? And even if you do find someone, what are you gonna do next? Live there? Or did you plan on smuggling him through airport security?

I find it so bizarre that SOO many women magically wanna visit Korea to find themselves Korean boyfriends. It’s like “DUUDE! Do you realize how IGNORANT you sound?” Think about it this way: The idea of you going to Asia to bring back an Asian Man, is just as retarded as the White Men who go to Asia thinking they can smuggle themselves a submissive Asian Wife.

Now, if you legitimately want to visit Korea to experience the culture and possibly live there, then sure! That’s fine! Or maybe you might wanna visit and you have this thought in your mind that “Oooh! Maybe I might meet a cute Korean guy!” If that’s the case, then that is also okay. What I’m complaining against is the idea that some women think they can just go to Asia and BRING BACK an Asian Man, as if he were a damn “I <3 NY” t-shirt.

My Solution: Find an Asian guy in your town or go out of state if you have to. If not, meet them online and see if you can figure something out.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm only interested in Asian men, so ummm... yeaaaaaa...."

2. Asian Men Who Are Complete Assholes

"Wat it DOH Shawty?!"

Alright, I’ve been involved in a fair ammount of Asian Male/Non-Asian Female groups, and I’ve gotta say: the majority of the Asian men in these groups are well composed, and very spectacular. They’re intelligent, funny, and cool to talk to. However, every now and then I come across some Asian dick-head who thinks he’s the next Pauly D (Paurree Dee?)

Now don’t get me wrong, confidence is a great thing and it can do wonders for your love life, but there’s a clear distinction between confidence and being a dick-head. Being a dick-head is when you comment/message a girl online and say “Hey cutie” or “Wadup ma?” Whenever I see this shit, I just wanna wrap my head in a burlap sack and throw myself in front of a train. It’s like, dude! I know you wanna break the “Asians are shy” stereotype, but you can’t go overboard!

Bro, we're yellow people - not orange.

My Solution: Take the Gentleman approach. Treat her with some respect and quit acting like this is all a “game.” I mean yea, in a weird way, dating is a game, but when you look at it as if Women are opponents that you need to defeat in order to “win”, you really make yourself a complete tool.

Here’s the thing: most guys have been lead to believe that, in order to get the girl, you need to be an Alpha-Male. In essence, you need to be very assertive, you can’t take no for an answer, and you have to be dripping in confidence. The ironic thing is that, when you deal with top-quality women who are constantly being approached/hit on, most of them are actually sick and tired of the overly assertive/cocky man. In their lives, they get approached by confident men all the time. So when you come up to her with all that swag, you look like every other guy that came up to her before.

"HALLO DERE SECKSI LADEEZ, U REDDY 4 SUM ACKSHON?"

If you want a good woman, you need to be a good man. It’s as simple as that.

3. Interracial Dating Isn’t That Complicated!

I was reading a few blogs and watching some AMBW videos recently and in these posts, people were delving into heavy shit: the effects of the media, the psychology of Asian Men, The Civil Rights movement, and a bunch of other historical crap. After watching/reading all of this, I thought to myself: what the hell is everyone talking about?! Why are you guys making it so much more complicated than it already is?

Here is the best advice I can give you about dating Asian Guys/Dating Non-Asian Women:

"Shhh! This is T.O.P secret advice!"

1. Have some balls (or ovaries) to approach them.
2. Get to know the person.
3. Ask them out.
4. Impress them with your skills in juggling, or whatever it is you do.
5. Fall in love.
6. Repeat step 5 forever and ever.

THAT

IS

ALL

YOU

HAVE

TO

DO!

Quit acting like it’s a goddamn chemistry experiment that needs to be taken care of with gloves and goggles, examined, and solved using the scientific method. Stop trying to “learn about Asian/Black culture” and start learning about the person you’re interested in. In the end, you are dating a person, not an entire ethnic group. I say this because, in my experience, the non-Asian women that I have bonded with the most are the ones who talk about my race/ethnicity the least.

The women I like are the ones that talk about art, and life, and music, and funny things they saw at the supermarket – not the women who obsess about Korean culture.

My Solution: Relax. If you could just take the time to see each other as people first, then you’ll realize that all of these ethnic discussions (although very interesting to talk and debate about) are pretty pointless once you start dating someone.

You see? This couple COULD be having wild sex, but instead, they decided to argue about Interracial Dating - now they're not talking

***************************************************************

I know this is a relatively short blog, but I’ve been a bit busy lately. School is finishing up, I have fashion stuff to take care of on my other blog, and I’m also preoccupied with a box of Cookie flavored ice cream Oh yea, and one more thing…
…I kinda sorta maybe met someone.

More on that next time

"ZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMFFFFFGGGGGG I NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!"

All About AMBWs: The Problem With AMBW Facebook Groups, Black Women Who Are Hypocrites + More!

Hey, You!

Me:You wanna get outta here?
Black Woman: … Now?
Me: Don’t get me wrong, I love these AMBW groups, but I’d rather speak to you in private.
Black Woman: Hmmm… I guess I could use some company.
Me: Come on, I know a great place that’s open late -  they makes the best coffee and desserts in the city

Lately, most of my interactions with Black Women have been in the form of giant parties where people just shout out random shit, not really caring about what is being said, or who they are saying it to (aka, Facebook Groups.) Luckily, I have this blog. I have a place where we can go and talk in private. What will we talk about? Well, if you could please pass me the creamer and a fork, I’ll begin. *sips coffee* Ahhhh… Alright, where do I start?

A Follow-Up On My Previous Blog: “I Think Black Women

Have Sexy Hair”

Fun Fact: This is my cellphone wallpaper

Ya know, when I first wrote that blog (over a year ago), most of my readers were actually White Females or Asian Men. I wrote it a few years ago and to my surprise, only recently has it begun to gain popularity. That single blog has been featured everywhere from Facebook, personal blogs like Tumblr, and even forums dedicated to Black Women who have natural hair.

However, I need to set something straight: just like anyone of any race, there are those with ugly hair and those with beautiful ones. Just because you have blonde hair doesn’t mean you look like Marilyn Monroe, and just because you’re a Black Woman doesn’t mean your hair is any less beautiful. Since that blog, my interest in Black Hair has actually matured from the “This is so different yet so beautiful!” to a more practical “DAMN! That is some SEXY ASS hair! Oh, you’re Black? Well, that’s cool too, but I’m talkin about YOUR HAIR!”

Excuse me while I change my pants

So to show my love for Black Women, I wanted to pick out a few hairstyles that I found very cute. Again, this is just my preference, and it doesn’t represent all guys.

Meet the beautiful Christelyn Russell-Karazin Check out her pro-AMBW blog at: http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/

In the end, what matters most is that you wear your hair. What I mean to say is that, no matter what hairstyle you have, you have to own it! You might be a gorgeous Black Woman with perfect hair, but if you don’t have the confidence to wear it, it won’t be as powerful. I’m also a fashion guy so if you can rock a nice hairstyle and a great outfit, well then shit… you and I are getting married right now!

Now, this blog post isn’t all about flattery and compliments. There are a few subjects that I’d like to talk about that aren’t as happy-go-lucky.

Black Women Who Are Hypocrites

Wowow! You're kinda hot! Can't we just talk this out?

The idea of Black Women and Asian Men coming together to discuss and communicate is truly amazing. It’s like watching two long-lost lovers who finally found each other. You watch them flirt, joke around, and sometimes, you see them argue. But one of the things that I really dislike about these groups is that every week, I hear a Black Woman say one of the following:

1. Asian Men Aren’t Special! They’re Just Like Every Other Damn Guy Out There!

My Response: Yea, that’s true, but do you really have to say it out loud? Ask yourself this: Are ANY of the Asian guys in the group saying “Black Women aren’t special! They’re just regular, ordinary girls! What’s the big deal?” To put it simply: no. None of us Asian guys are saying that kind of stuff, and it pains me to see Black Women in these groups who are constantly capping on Asian guys.

Just because you had a bad experience with an Asian guy on Facebook doesn’t mean all of us are full of shit. Trust me, I’ve had plenty of bad experiences with Black Women, but I’ve never considered those bad examples to be the standard. Whenever I meet a Black Girl that annoys me, I just tell myself “Ranier, don’t worry about it. She’s just making the rest of the beautiful Black Women look bad. Not all of them are like that.”

2. “You Like Beyonce? Well Then You Don’t Appreciate REAL Black Beauty!”

My Response: You like Taeyang, G-Dragon, T.O.P, Lee Minho, Peter Le, and Rain? Well then YOU don’t appreciate REAL Asian Beauty, either!

Look, I understand that not all Black Women look like Beyonce, and not all Asian Guys come out of the bed looking like Peter Le, but can’t we all just enjoy ourselves some celebrity eye candy? So what if you like Rain? Who cares if I like Alicia Keyes? Just because Alicia Keyes is sexy doesn’t mean she’s any less Black than you are – the same goes for Taeyang and T.O.P. So quit with that bullshit and let’s just enjoy the show… okay?

3. I’m Not Limiting Myself To ONLY Asian Men!/Why Do Asian Men Date White Women?!

My Response:  Wait a minute… so YOU can date anyone you want but WE CAN’T? Here’s the truth: When an Asian Guy makes the decision that he would like to date outside of his race, most of the time, he goes for a White Girl. Why is that? I don’t know, maybe we just think they’re easier to hook up with than Black Women. But just because we’re dating a White Girl doesn’t mean we aren’t interested in Black Women.

I Am An Independent Black Woman, And I Don’t Need You To Make Me Happy!

Alright, this next one is a little tricky. On one hand, I’d like to just go all out and say “WHAT THE HELL?!” but on the other hand I really do understand where you’re coming from.

It isn’t easy being a Black Woman in today’s society. To some, it just seems like the world is against you and no one is willing to help: not Black Men, not White Men, and in some occasions, not even other Black Women. Because of this, many of you are just born with tough skin. You were raised with an iron heart and a fist in the air saying out loud “I am a Black Woman, I am independent, and I can do this on my own.” And for that, I give you all of my heart.

Well, technically speaking, that IS where your heart is located

But when you go around in an AMBW group – a group where you should feel safe and comfortable – saying that you don’t need us Asian guys, it kinda hurts. Asian guys are stereotyped as not being masculine, so to claim that we’re not needed is almost like saying “you’re not man enough to take care of me.” I know you aren’t saying this, but that is what it feels like.

Why Are AMBW Groups Failing?

For the past few weeks I’ve been trying to figure out one simple question: Why do I feel so uncomfortable AMBW groups? Believe it or not, I think I’ve found the answer.

Compare the following:

Scenario 1: So you’re out with a bunch of coworkers having lunch when suddenly, someone starts talking about God and Religion. The conversation gets heated and at one point, two of your coworkers are almost ready to punch each other. But alas! The waiter comes to the table just in time, and hands you the bill. After lunch, you go back to your car (alone) and you drive back to work feeling very frustrated. What started off as a nice and friendly lunch has ended on a very negative note. You think to yourself “Who the fuck do those people think they are?!”

"HEY! What's your problem?!"

Scenario 2: So you’re out having lunch with your closest friends when suddenly, y0ur best friend says something very offensive about Women. Both of you argue but neither one of you comes to a point where punching is required. In the end, you and your best friend agree to disagree, and you both go back home to watch a few movies.

Do you see the difference? This is precisely why AMBW groups fail to unify their members: they focus too much on debating and discussing, and not enough time on actually hanging out and building relationships. For many of us, although the AMBW groups serve as a platform for intellectual discourse, in the end, we’re all just a bunch of strangers talking to other strangers.

Honestly, I don’t even know half of the people that I argue with. Some of the people in those groups are members that I’ve repeatedly argued with for weeks and weeks, and I’ve come to understand their style of argumentation, but I still don’t know who they are as a person. I don’t even know how old they are.

You see, the idea of Unifying two ethnic groups sounds very beautiful, but it isn’t easy – not one bit. Some of the snobby assholes in these groups like to believe that unification comes through rigorous discussions about race, ethnicity, religion, and values. And yea, I have no doubt in my mind that you can learn about a group of people like that, but is it the best way?

Think about this: A perfect example of two unified individuals would be  you and your best friend. For some of us, our best friends are often times complete opposites of who we are. You may be the smarty pants who got into Harvard, but your best friend might be a stoner white guy from Long Beach, California. Yet somehow, you managed to settle your differences and now you two are the best friends.

But how did it happen? Did you become best friends after arguing about religion and ethnics? HELL NO! You guys got along because you talked about food, and music, and what you did over the weekend. You guys got along because you took the time to understand each other as people. And that, my friends, is how we can unify Black Women and Asian men.

These two make a very, VERY cute couple

We should definitely continue our intellectual discussions, but we should also invest more time in getting to know each other as individuals. That way, when we do argue, we can say things like “I don’t agree with you, but you know what? I know that, when we aren’t arguing, you’re a really cool person. There’s more to you than this disagreement.“

So, if you really wanna unify this beautiful pairing, then we need to set up more meet-ups, more chat rooms, or even talk to group members one-on-one. I promise you: if you take the time to understand at least one extra member on a personal level, your time in the group will be significantly better. If all of us keep this in mind, and if we can all practice it, then I believe that the unification of Black Women and Asian Men will be achieved.

Black Woman: Wow, that conversation was intense!
Me: You call that intense? Wait till you come back to the apartment