I‘ll tell you right now: this blog post might hurt your feelings. In that case, TOO BAD!
If I may, I’d like to brag for a good moment. As it turns out, being an AMXF (Asian Male + Non-Asian Female) blogger yields a few kick-ass benefits. For starters: I get a lot of Facebook friend requests. Last time I checked (which was about 2 weeks ago), I received over 120 friend requests within the course of a month – and that was just from Black Women. Right now, I’m guessing that the full number is anywhere between 130 – 150.
With that said, I’ve received a ton of flirtatious messages/comments. I’ve gotten everything from “I love your writing, you are so talented!” to “Aye, you single?” to “We would make some cute babies!” And after talking to various women, I started to notice something…
A majority of the women who were flirting with me seemed highly aware of the fact that I was Asian. In other words, they kept saying stuff like “I love Asian men! Asian men are so sexy! Yay Asians! I love K-POP!” Now, that’s a very good thing. It’s good because a lot of Asian guys still can’t believe that non-Asian women are interested in them, SO, in effect, sometimes you Women will just have to spell it out in plain Engrish.
However, when this occurs, something very interesting happens: instead of coming off as flirtatious and romantically interested, you might actually come off as someone with an Asian fetish, or someone looking to catch an Asian man, as if he were some mystical Pokemon. In some cases, the Asian fetish girls go waaayy overboard…
Example (based on TRUE events):
Scene: A Black Girl messages me on Facebook for the first time.
Black Girl: Ahn nyeong ha se yo! (hello)
Me: Uhhh… hi!
Black Girl: Eotteohke jinaeseyo? (how are you?)
*translates on Google Translate*
Me: I’m fine, thank you! How about you?
Black Girl: An nyeong ha siut seum ni ka? (I’m fine, thank you)
Me: Ummm… you know I’m not Korean, right?
Black Girl: I know ^__^
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Are you a goddamn idiot?! Do you not realize how ignorant that is? Wait, no, here, let me show you:
Scene: Me messaging a Black Girl for the first time
Me: Aye waddup shawty!
Black Girl: Hey!
Me: Whas’ good lil ma? You got a man or what?
Black Girl: Ummm, no, I don’t have a boyfriend. Are you okay?
Me: Ya know, I LOVE me some Jill Scott and Dwele! Wanna hit up the mall sometime and grab a plate of fried chi—
SEE WHAT I MEAN?! Do you see how damn ignorant that is? I mean, not only are you assuming that I speak Korean because I’m Asian, but you also assume that I’m Korean! Okay, now that your ego has been shot down, let me offer a very easy, very practical solution that anyone can do:
Wait, no, that sounds kinda cliche – let me rephrase: If you’re a shy artist who enjoys Latin music and photography, then be the shy artist who enjoys Latin music and photography; If you’re a track star who enjoys short films and graphic novels, then be the track star who enjoys short films and graphic novels. If I’m interested in you, I’m interested in YOU.
I‘m interested in all your little quirks, your flaws, your beautiful smile, and your adorable laugh. I really don’t care too much about your love for K-Pop. I’ll support it, and I’ll listen to it with you, but to me, that’s not enough to get with you. You can’t just come up to me and shout “AHN NYEONG HA SE YO! I LOVE K-POP AND ASIAN MEN!” and expect me to drop down on my knees and give you head — it doesn’t work that way.
If I wanted to date someone who was obsessed with Asian culture, then I’d date an Asian girl.
So please, stop trying to be so damn Asian. I LOVE that you’re interested in our culture, and it really shows that you’re open minded. But you know what would impress me more? I’d be more impressed if you could dance Salsa. I’d be more impressed if you were an artist. I’d be more impressed if you could sing, or write, or that you loved animals, or that you volunteer at the homeless shelter every Christmas.
THAT is the shit that lands you an Asian boyfriend — not your iPod filled with K-POP. Race should matter to the point that it doesn’t matter. Race should matter to a point where you accept their ethnic background, you’ve taken the time to understand it, and you’ll use that information only when necessary. But please, don’t go changing yourself just because you wanna snag yourself a Filipino Taeyang.
And most importantly…
NOT ALL OF US ARE KOREAN, YOU DUMBASS!
In case you haven’t read my previous post, I have now created an **OFFICIAL FACEBOOK PAGE FOR THIS BLOG, “The Love Life of an Asian Guy”** Be sure to “like” it and send me as many comments as you want. You can suggest future blog topics, ask questions about AMXF, or even get one-on-one advice!