AMBW Rant: Can Black Women ONLY Date “Ghetto” Asian Men?

From time to time, I enjoy perusing through the AMBW videos on Youtube for a good hour or two. Like an alumni of AMBW University visiting his alma mater, I look upon these videos with a judgmental eye, checking to see the bullshit that ementates from people’s mouths. Recently, Asian duo extraordinaire, the Fung Brothers, posted a video called “Do Asian Men Like Black Wom[e]n?” and all I gotta say is…

DUDE… WTF?

“Brah, you just went full racist!”

You see, I agree with a lot of what they are saying and not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’ve been saying the same damn shit for YEARS. But the part that rustles the FUCK out of my jimmies starts at about 1:30 when the Fung Bros talk about the type of Asian guy that Black girls should go after. Apparently, if you are a Black woman looking for an Asian man, you need to find an Asian guy “with a shaved head, a line-up, a fitted cap, snap-back, if he knows how to rap… if him and his friends use the ‘N-word’ amongst themselves.” In other words, go find a “ghetto” Asian guy.

Now of course, I do see the point that the guys are trying to make which is to say that you need to find the Asian guy who seems most comfortable around Black people, thus he will be comfortable hitting on you and willing to pursue a relationship — theoretically. However, I simply dislike– nay, I FUCKING HATE this idea. You see, the problem with this idea isn’t about the Asian guy being ghetto and that somehow I’m trying to associate ghetto with him being BAD. No no, the biggest problem with this idea is that it assumes that all Black Women are inherently attracted to ghetto guys.

WAIT, WHAT?

“But! But! I don’t even know how to twerk! I only know the cabbage patch!”

If you make the claim that the best type of Asian guy for a Black girl happens to be into hip-hop and saying the word nigga, then what exactly does that say about your expectations and understanding of Black Women in general? What? So Black Women shouldn’t pursue the Asian guy on the football team? What about the Japanese exchange student who listens to classical music? That type of narrow thinking is not just ignorant,  it’s a bit racist. This isn’t even something that is exclusive to the Fung Bros, this is something that, unfortunately, a lot of Asian guys are guilty of.

I‘ve heard of many horror stories from Black women who feel objectified and stereotyped by MANY Asian BOYS. Boys who think that just because they are approaching a Black woman, the doors of ethical behavior rip the hell off their hinges and an everything-goes mentality is put into place. These guys might grab Black women, cat-call them and in some cases, they even try and speak differently to them, as if Black women somehow only understand ebonics. This kind of bullshit infuriates me and for the Asian guy who thinks this is okay, please, brother, kill yourself.

“Oh god! What have I done?! Why did I say ‘waddup, ma?’ to that pretty Black girl?!”

My Advice To Asian Men Interested In Black Women

When you meet that special Black Woman you want to marry and have kids with, I don’t care if she herself “talks ghetto,” if you DON’T talk like that, there is no need to start pretending like you do. Act normal. Just because you’re with a Black woman doesn’t mean you need to stop playing DOTA 2 and League of Legends in exchange for NBA2K13 and a trip to the barber shop. Be your damn self. If she’s open to the idea of dating an Asian man in the first place, then she probably expects you to sometimes do things that are a bit “Asian-y.” Don’t be ashamed, brother, treat her with the same respect you would give to a White, Asian, Latina or African girl. At the end of the day, before being a Black woman, she became a WOMAN. So make her feel like a very, very special one.

My Advice To Black Women Having Issues With Ignorant Asian Men

Don’t listen to that nonsensical bullshit about you chasing after ghetto Asian guys. Could you use that advice as a reference point? Of course. The Fung Bros did make a good point, please do take an Asian American Studies course and talk to the Asian guys there. If they are willing to become more culturally aware of their own racial identity, chances are, they might just be open about other races in general. So go for it! If you think that buff and sexy nerdy Asian guy in your Art History class has a nice jawline that you’re interested in kissing, go up to him! Talk to him!

Don’t feel restricted by your stereotypes and the pressure from society to date a “type” of guy. You are not a video hoe, you are not a welfare queen and you are certainly not a cheap girl who deserves to be grabbed and hollered at. You can run this country if you want, be a software engineer if you want and goddamnnit, you can date whoever the FUCK you want, too! If an Asian guy comes up to you in a disrespectful way, wave his sorry ass goodbye and move on. Remember, there are BILLIONS of us Asian men out there, a new one, THE RIGHT ONE, is coming soon :)

28 thoughts on “AMBW Rant: Can Black Women ONLY Date “Ghetto” Asian Men?

  1. I was so excited to see that you have written a post again you are such an excellent writer! I completely agree with your topic I have notice that not only asians but many guys outside of my race want to show me how “down” they are and “hood”. I can’t help but think ummm sorry I am not even “down or hood” myself. :) I’m actually quite educated and well spoken haha . Anyhoos, thanks for the interesting point of view!

  2. I’m VERY glad you addressed this. I just saw the Fung Bros. video and, as a cultured Black woman, I felt very stereotyped. I’m not ghetto, and neither are any of the other Black women I know. Just as 2pml just said, none of us are “hood” or “down”. I don’t want to date ANY guy who thinks they should act that way to get my attention. And I think most Asian guys forget that we don’t find their cultural tendencies and their quirks annoying or unattractive. It’s just the opposite! We think they’re adorable. Well, I do haha…anyway, thanks for this post, Ranier! And the second couple you showed is my friend and her boyfriend!!

  3. *Sheds a tear* *Sobs* Thank you SOOOO much for writing this article! We black women are so tired of being stereotyped. You made excellent points that restored my faith in humanity. lol. it’s nice to know that there are Asian guys that don’t believe the negativity that the media is placing on black women. So many of us just want a nice Asian guy who will like us for who we are as women. Not all black women are the same just as Asian men are not all the same. I wish more people would think the same way you do.

  4. I was just thinking this very same thing. I am not “stereotypical” black. I listen to goth and industrial music mostly. I don’t like rap or hip hop and not into R&B. I can barely do The
    Chicken Dance!I am a sci geek. What would The Fung Bros tell me? why do they even comment, they are not attracted to black women so why make a video? I do notice though that in the past the men who approached me online were more into Ebonics. I found that disrespectful. I’m in China now so it is a different ball game here. I have language barrier and an anxiety to the point that I can’t approach any of them in fear that they are married.

  5. What a dope insight and definitely honest!

    I love Asian men but its so difficult to find one that’s doesn’t see a black woman as a sexual object, I mean we get enough of that in horrid rap videos, and not to mention American slavery. We have so many negative stereotypes about us.

    I’ve had some odd experiences: sometime last year, I was talking to a Koran guy. He was sweet, but he barley talked and if he did, it was about sex. I tried my best to get him talk about other things like music, art, food to no avail. When I asked him about his life or parents in a non-threatening way, he shut it out and went back to porn. I’m like what the hell son. I gave up.

    The ghetto-Asian is rampant in NYC. I ran across more than enough. About two years ago I was waiting for the 4 train, and this guy was sexy, nice tattoos, he dressed like the typical Brooklynite. I complimented him on his tattoos and he coldly said “thanks.” I felt stupid, and to test if he would loosen up, I complimented on his sneakers, he scoffed and mumbled thanks and walked away. Some black chick who dressed extremely scantily clad walked by and I coulda picked his jaw off the ground with a gotdamn shovel, and he follwed her. All I could say was wow.

    I see a lot of handsome Asian men, but they’re with white women, or if theyre single, they look at a black woman but don’t say aything. One guy was so hot, he was eyeballing me whilst I was on the 6 train, lol. I smiled and waved at him, he blushed. I went to say hi verbally, and a Caucasian woman dressed as Lady Gaga (ick) came on the car and he shifted his eyes to her and went to talk to her instead. I was like Wtf! I got off the train seething, I looked in the car, she quickly turned him down and he sat there, looking dejected. I waved to him again, and he smiled. I freakin melted, lmao!

    Despite my strange expriences, I see so many beautiful Blasian couples in NYC, one of them is a friend of mine. He’s Asian and his wife is Jamaican, beautiful kids, great family. I avoid dating websites, well except for two. So far, so good. I’m meeting up with a guy who’s from Japan, and another Asian guy. I’ve been single for a number of years, plus raising two kids alone, working, school takes a lot of my time.

    Thanks again for the great post! And the pics are awesome too.

    • Oh yeah and another email-pal friend of mine is black and her finance is from China. She’s so sweet, intelligent, awesome and an extremely positive person.

    • I’m sorry to hear you had those bad experiences! Yes, every Asian guy is different. Hopefully you will fine one that is perfect for you and you are perfect for him.

  6. If I may it has been at a minimum inferred that people that are “ghetto” or “hood” are uneducated. That is not necessarily the case. Alot of this conversation smacks of classicism and special negro syndrome, but I will not go there today. It is nice to see a forum for some the most if you will “shat upon people” to discuss these notions together. Asian men and Black women. Venting is good. Continue to not be hindered or buy into cultural barriers, have a rich and full experience and that includes crossing those economic barriers too folks. Good day to you all.

  7. I think that some people misinterpret Black women being more accepting of others with being” ghetto”.

    An Asian guy,(thankfully wasn’t no way the jerks that the Fung brothers are acting as),said on an AMBW blog that was attracted to Black women because of how flexible some of them were towards him and he went on how to explain why: they werent materialistic and/or they seemed more open minded to what counted in good relationships/marriages.

    Now I don’t know if holds true of all Black women, but there are Black women who are like this.
    Some people don’t get when you talk about flexibility. Sure, there are some Black women who like down to earth men that aren’t stuffy and snobby and who just want a man to feel that they don’t have to feel intimidated because of the following that I just mentioned. HOWEVER, they still want a quality man. The Black women I know want men..of any race… to be family/community oriented, good providers to them and/or their families(if they desire marriage and children), for them to be good husbands and overall for them to be good people.

    What the Fung brothers should get is just because Black maybe down to earth doesn’t mean they want scraps from the table. There is no absolute way that I would want my daughter(if I had one)to date those guys and I wouldn’t either. If there are Black women that admire (and there are some who are gullible to want to hook up with them) their pickup lines, then their minds are severely cloud ed.

  8. When I first saw this video, I laughed. I thought it was funny. Then as I watched it again and I became disturbed by what I was watching. The overall message that black women should/can only get “ghetto” Asian guys? WTH. That is clearly a stereotype in it’s own, that all black woman are ghetto and therefore would only relate to or want to date someone else that’s ghetto. They clearly don’t understand that black is not synonymous with ghetto. Black people, just like everyone else, come in different shades, personalities, cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds etc.

    For six months, I’ve been going to a Korean church and I have found that some of the people there are closet racists. They won’t say anything to your face, but they certainly treat you different from everyone else and it’s clear a lot of them have misconceptions about black people as whole from comments that have been made on the fly.

    Last week, during bible study I got a call and I quickly silenced it. THEN two Korean guys in the room made a point to call me out about and make comments to me in Ebonics, like I was suppose to know what the hell they were talking about. They continued this, in front of everyone, for about 5 minutes. I was so embarrassed. I wanted to yell, I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING! WHEN HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME USE FUCKING EBONICS? It was like they were trying to connect with me, but based on racists stereotypes. I felt so humiliated. Is that what you what you really think of me? No matter what I do or say, I’m always directly and indirectly battling these negative stereotypes. Come on, you’ve known me for 6 months and I’ve never spoken to you like that ever, why would you think that was ok?

    I’ve dated inter-racially for years, and I have found that a lot of (not all) Asian people really buy into these negative stereotypes more than anyone else (even white people). Almost like they are brainwashed and can’t make their own judgements about people. It’s very disheartening. I’m open to dating Asian guys, but I can’t date someone who is closed minded, culturally unaware, and can’t think for themselves. I’m not saying ALL Asians are like that, but ones that I have encountered in my daily life, during college, at work, church etc seem to be. I just don’t get it…. The way that I feel about/treat people is based on my own experience with them personally and not based on some overarching view of how people “like them” should act or be. It makes no sense to me.

  9. Why is this post so perfect! When i watched the fungBros video i liked it up to that point. Immediatly i was like “Wow so because i’m black i need to be attracted to someone who acts like a thug??” I could not have been more confused and quite frankly just a little bit pissed then i went on to thinking “So even though nothing irks me more then people who act and talk like thugs to seem cool….thats the only way i’ll get a guy (and an Asian in this case?” I was honestly at a loss for words -_- This post honestly made my day this is the first time i heard an Asian guy speak up and say that shits not cool. So thank You for that :)

  10. I’m an asian american woman. I came to this article through an amped asia link out of curiosity. I’m happily surprised by the thoughtfulness of this article. I’m glad you can criticize the Fung brothers on those points. You are right, before anything women are women, this applies to all women. I haven’t read your other articles. Usually when asian men write about interracial dating they have a side effect of dissing asian women, but if your other blogposts are just as genuine and thoughtful as this keep it up!

  11. This is a really good explaination on this topic. i can definitly agree that not all black women are “ghetto”,personaly i dispise when peeps think that because your black you have to be ghetto. i actually am hated by some people who follow this steryotype, like alot. appearently they think not everyone can like anime or asian things( or like indie(appearently i gat hated because i act “white” as theyed say it)). it impossible to confront them because since they follow the ghetto rule, they are pretty loud, and they fight. im just not willing to waste time doing that. anywass your blog is nicee!keep up the fanta (fantastic) work

  12. You may find the black woman sexy and exciting now, but think very carefully. Do you really want to have black kids? You may profoundly regret your decision to marry a black woman in the future. Pure Asian kids or Eurasian kids will have a far better chance to lead a happy life, and will have higher intelligence.

  13. Omgosh I’m so happy that someone wrote this..I love Asian men but many of them have stereotype me. With the who “rap/hood” thing.. then of course the hair stereotype.. like really…I am a very well educated, articulate and intelligent women.Not all black women are from the hood or know slang..

  14. I just meet a Japaneses exchange student named Koji who was very down to earth and really cute and we hit it off right away. He made the first move even thought his english wasn’t 100%. He looked what he saw and when for it. He’s very open minded and i see forward to seeing him again.

  15. That video is what made me stop liking them. I have found Asian men like me (jiggly, wobbly me) and they act like themselves, not like they are auditioning for a pimp video. I really hope that those ladies who watched the video realize it as bull-plop. Thank you for this blog. :-)

  16. This post made feel soooo good about myself. I’m African and Nigerian and so proud of my Black. I hear how most people say Asians are racist towards black people cos of how undiversified they are and I felt so down because for some weird reason I’m attracted to Asian guys. So I thought I better get my shit together cos ” that’s not happening ” but this (post) really broadened my mind. Thanks. It gave me hope.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s