A New Kind Of Man – The Rise Of Asian Men In Interracial Relationships

Ahhh, remember the good ole’ days of High School? A time for friendships, getting into trouble and… racial and romantic insecurities?

When I was 15 I was in a long-distance relationship with a half-Japanese half-Filipino girl who I thought I was in love with. Little did I know that while she was in 50 miles away playing on the basketball team, and I was at home cheering her on, she had been seeing another guy behind my back. And not just any guy, he was a douchey white guy.

I was confused. I didn’t even know she was into those kinds of guys. Soon after, I started to notice every other girl in my circle of friends boarding the train to “we love white boys” express. Next thing I knew, Asian girls were saying shit like “sorry, I only date White guys” or “ewww, that is soo Asian.” What the hell?! What is going on?! I have so many questions and I need answers, damnit!

TO THE YOUTUBE!

Uhhhh…. okay? NEXT VIDEO!

Ahh shit! They’re everywhere! Quick, Asian guys, hide at your local Gamestop! When these videos came out six years ago coupled with the white boy virus plaguing every Asian girl in the school, it dawned on me: us Asian guys are fucked. If Asian girls won’t date us, what the hell are we gonna do? We sure as hell don’t stand a chance dating white girls, and we can FORGET about even LOOKING at black girls! BUDDHA, WHYY?!?!!?

But as I look back six years ago and contrast it to now, it’s quite remarkable. Sure, tons of Asian women still date white guys as if there’s a shortage of them, but Asian guys have definitely made some changes and cultivated their dating habits. Nowadays, I see Asian male + non-Asian female couples all over the damn place: in the mall shopping for baby clothes, at the restaurant drinking martinis and on Youtube being TOTES ADORABLE vlogs.

If Asian men were purchasable on the stock market I’d say “BUY! BUY! BUY!” because damn, we are tearin’ it up on the dating game. It’s almost like we sat down one day, scratched our head and realized, “oh snap, I’M AWESOME!” So why the change? What the hell happened within he span of six years? Did we sprout a 3rd testicle that feeds us a constant stream of confidence? Or was it something else?

You see, Asian-American men and Asian-American women are not created equal in this country. Though we share many of the same stereotypes and racial jokes, the expectations that we do not have in common are ultimately the ones that have created this change. In the US, Asian-Americans have roughly three options when it comes to fitting in:

Wanna read the article she wrote that caused a SHITSTORM? Click the picture

1. ) We can act “White” -  shop at Abercrombie and Fitch/Urban Outfitters, listen to Kings of Leon/Dubstep and attend Coachella while wearing daisy chains in our hair.

2.) We can act “Black” – shop at Supreme and wear fitted caps, listen to underground hip-hop and join a group of choreographed hip-hop dancers.

3.) We can act “Asian” – shop at Yesstyle.com and wear K-POP inspired outfits, listen to Utada Hikaru and join chatrooms and forums where you talk to other Asians about anime while learning how to make various emoticons (◕‿◕✿)

Now, given that there are an endless supply of Asian Men and Women who fit in category three and act Asian, we can start to break down the two groups and understand things a bit more. More often than not and despite the occasional Asian B-Girl, Asian-American women tend to act white. This is easy for them because for some reason, White girls love hanging out with Asian girls and Allah already knows that White guys would sell their baby on the black market to get a chance to be with an Asian chick. For Asian girls, white is right! White is home and ya know what? That’s alright with me! How are things lookin’ for my Asian brothers?

Asian men on the other hand tend to go the opposite way and they identify with a lot of Black culture. Most break dancers are Asian guys, Asian guys love underground hip-hop, if they sing they love to sing R&B classics and most of all, they consistently feel at odds with white culture. “But Ranier, what the hell does that mean? Not all Black people like hip-hop! YOU RACIST CHINK!”

Okay, hear me out for a second: you see, like a lot of Blacks men, Asian men just don’t feel included in white culture. We aren’t represented in their politics, their television shows or their music, so how can we relate? There are countless Asian men who have lived in predominantly white neighborhoods and have been bullied and teased all their lives for being Asian. So, naturally, as an ethnic minority they look for the closest ethnic minority that they can look up to as a role model. This is why Black men play an important role. Black Men have provided Asian men with a template for how to fit in with the rest of society. If we can learn to dance like them, sing like them and dress like them, we too can fit in. Like Pinocchio trying desperately to be a real boy, we wanted to become a real man.

And so we did. We realized that things needed to change so we learned to dress better, dance slicker and talk smoother.

Looking at it like this makes it seem all the more beautiful. To know that through the oppression of White culture on Asian Men, we have evolved into a hybrid of cultures and identities. Instead of laughing along with all the racist Asian jokes and acting like it was okay, we decided to open our mouths and say “enough.” We rejected the expectations of the nerdy, shy, socially awkward and dickless Asian boy and grew into something so fucking beautiful it makes me wanna cry tears of pure soy sauce.

Now that we’ve grown into something better, we’ve finally realized that we also deserve better. We don’t need to sit around waiting for Asian women to come around and “give us a chance,” we can simply turn to the right and talk to someone else: someone Black, someone Cuban or someone Greek. For once, we finally feel like we have options in our romantic lives and even better, women like you, my loyal readers, are talking back and saying that you want us too – and that helps even more.

Meet Jason and Kristen – An AMBW couple and fans of my blog! WOOHOO! If you have pictures of your own interracial relationship, SEND THEM TO ME!!

Why Does This Matter To You?

“What am I doing with my life? Why am I not dating an Asian guy yet?!”

Now is the time for Asian Men to rise up and succeed. We are starting to see more and more Asian males join professional sports, the music and entertainment industry and more importantly, Asian men who feel a renewed sense of confidence to be all of the above. You say I’m a nerd? Well guess what? I’m a nerd with a college degree, a high paying job and a smokin’ hot girlfriend! Within the ensuing years we will all witness a huge shift in Asian men broadening their horizons, reaching for different careers, attaining massive wealth and making a name for themselves in the world. And as women who enjoy dating them, you can help us to redefine an entire community of men looking for something greater in this world. We’re trying to become better men, and we would love to stand atop of the world, side-by-side with a woman like you.

So to all my Asian brothers, rise up, grab your balls, say it loud and say it proud:

“I AM AN ASIAN MAN AND I CAN BE WHOEVER THE FUCK I WANT, AND DATE WHOEVER THE HELL I WANT!!!”

“For once in my life I have someone who needs me
Someone I’ve needed so long
For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I’ll be strong”

Interracial Dating Q&A #3: Help! My Asian Boyfriend Won’t Have Sex With Me!

You know what you will never see on TV? Asians on Jerry Springer. Save for that one episode on Jerry Springer where some Filipino dude cheats on his wife, you and your children’s children will never have the privilege of seeing an Asian Man do the “You are NOT the father” dance.

Oooh yes-suh! I am not the Father-suhh!!

And you know why? Unlike the Asians in K-Town, Asian people generally keep their drama to themselves. Shit going down with your Baby Daddy (or in this case, Baby Oppa) and you don’t know what to do? Need some advice? Too damn bad because since Asians don’t flaunt their business you inversely won’t find solutions. But that’s what I’m here for -  I’m like the Asian Witch Doctor. You slip me a note under the door and for a hefty price of, FREE DOLLARS, I can help you out (given that I actually get a chance to read the damn thing.) So here are a few questions that I’d like to cast my shining yellow light on for yall.

Q: How do Asian parents feel about their son bringing home a caucasian girl with young children from a prior long term relationship?

“Kids! We need to build up our Chi so Mommy can find you an Asian Daddy!”

A: This scenario sounds familiar. Probably because it’s the basic premise of pretty much every damn Lifetime movie in existence (minus the cheating and stabbing.) But in all honesty, I think it just depends on several factors

Racially speaking, this scenario basically plays out the same whether your boy toy is Chinese, Japanese or Filipino: shakey at first but with lots of potential. The reason is that when entering the dragon with your own baggage, depending on how old the Asian guy is, he might be a busy Medical student pursuing a career in Neurosurgery with not enough time to scratch-and-sniff his own balls or he could be a well-off Engineer that has plenty of time after work. It’s all in the timing.

“Good job Billy! Your Japanese Caligraphy skills will definitely win over Mommy’s new boyfriend, Tetsuya!”

In regards to timing, it can be really tricky dating an Asian when he (or she) is caught inside the vicious, time-sucking Vortex we like to call SCHOOL. More so than any other ethnicity, I will hear Asians talk about “nah man, I don’t have time for girls right now. I’m hella busy with law school.” So the question to you my dear is how far into this Vortex are you planning to fall in? And the relevance this has to his parents is parallel in the sense that, for Asian parents, the general mentality is that so long as your School/Career is going well, everything his hunky dory. Hell, your man could be setting World records for most Grammy Awards won but if his grades aren’t top notch, his parents will feel dishonored.

So to answer your question simply: Whether you’re Black, White or Brown, entering a relationship with an Asian guy while having kids is all dependent on where he is in life. If you enter at the wrong time, not only do you run the risk of his parents viewing you as a “distraction” but you can also wind up on the back-burners and even worse, your kids won’t get a great chance to warm up to him – and that’s not fair for anyone. However, there are exceptions and if you can time it right OR if you have your own shit together with your own career and academic life on track, you can pull it off. And if it is done right? Well then shit, not only do you have a future husband but you got yourself a man that’s ready for a LIFE with you. If that’s the situation you’re in, well damn, you better start picking the type of carpet you’ll want for your new house!

“Isn’t this Great Susan?! I got the new Neuroscience Job!” “Oh boy Wang Peng! Goodbye wonderbread, hello Jasmine Rice!

Q: I’m unfamiliar with Vietnamese dating customs and there’s a vietnamese guy that has shown interest in me and I don’t want to offend him in anyway as I too am interested in him, how do I tackle the situation?

“Okay Ayesha, your Asian prince charming is just across the hall. Just relax and whatever you do, don’t say ‘Ni-Hao’”

A: I always get so confused when people ask me these kinds of questions. I mean, I do know a various amount of Asian cultural information but I’m not the goddamn Farmers Almanac of Asian-ness. These questions are just a bit too specific for my reach. I can teach you a bit about ASIANS as a whole and other general customs to keep in mind when dealing with the yellow kind, but this shit? You’ll have to google it.

My Advice: dont’ be racist, don’t say anything stupid, make sure you eat a handful of breath mints and, uhhh… don’t be afraid to ask him out on a second date. Simple enough?

Q: Is it true that asian guys all have small penises? i have a korean bf he is so cute and all that and he loves me very much we have been together for 4 years but he doesnt wanna have sex and doesnt wanna talk about this either i dont know what to do anymore he wants to get married later on but he wants to have sex after marriage i am so confused

“Why does this Asian guy keep trying to dance with me every time I grind on him?! Is it something I said?!”

A: Just rape him. Rip off his clothes, take off his Chinese Rice hat, grab his ASIAN penis and RAPE HIM GOOD! That is the only way. If not, you can just spread sesame seed oil on his balls and deep fry his dick and scream out loud “ME RIKEY SOME DIM SUM, BABY!”

Or you can go for the whole rape thing. That works too.

Thanks to me, you will never look at Sesame Balls and Chinese Donuts the same. EVARRRR!!!

As always, my Facebook is always open for questions and comments and if you haven’t already, be sure to LIKE! The Official Facebook Page of The Love Life of an Asian Guy!