I always hear the phrase “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it” – but I never thought it would one day apply to myself. When I said that I wanted to “meet a lot of girls” I didn’t realize it would actually happen. And now… I’m starting to regret the situation…
Okay, it’s not as if I’m hooking up with total strangers, letting the panties drop and then collecting them in my back seat. No, not at all. In all honesty, I just end up meeting them. Whether they’re close by, and I want to introduce myself, or perhaps they’re in my class. The bottom line is, my wish is becoming more true than I expected. Much more.
Currently there are two girls: one of them is a nice sweet girl who’s very soft spoken, and extremely thoughtful. We have similar interests, but different ways of thinking. And on the other hand, there’s this other girl, who has totally different interests, but we think the same way.
The first girl seems very attached, while the second one is more independent. The first girl is easy to get along with, while the other is hard to get. Shit, I might be jumping the gun trying to even consider these two women as “potentials” but I don’t know man… I do find myself liking who they are. I don’t necessarily like them, but I like them. Ya know?
But today put things into perspective. It was like an old memory that came back to bitch slap me in the face and say, “AHA MOTHER FUCKER! Your situation just got ten times more complicated! Facts of life, NIGGA!” But in order to understand what the fuck I’m talking about, let me rewind the clock back two weeks. Last I recall, it was a Monday morning, and I was waiting for my Mandarin Class….
I had fifteen minutes to kill and my ballsy ego decided “Hey! 15 minutes? That’s enough time to meet a nice girl!” So I did. And it worked. She was a sweet, tender voiced cutie who had an adorable smile.
Me: Excuse me, do you mind if I borrow your pen?
Her: Oh, sure! *smile*
Her: No problem *smile*
Me: What class ya got next?
Her: English. You?
And just like that, I met Haley. After that, I never saw her again. I tried to, though. I came to school early the next day, and the next, and the week after that. But no sign of Haley. She was like this flying saucer that swooped over my head, shook me up, and never returned. I never knew what happened to her…till today, that is.
As I walked to my class, the sun blinked in my face through the pine trees. I tried to keep my head down while still maintaining my sense of direction. But for a split second, I looked up…and I saw her. And within that split second, she too, looked up at me. And within that microscopic, subatomic second, I’m not sure why, or even how, but I managed to squeeze in a very subtle, yet honest smile.
I didn’t know if she saw me but I kept walking and I started to count ” One. Two. Three. Turn” And just as I turned around to see her, she turned around. She smiled that beautiful smile, and waved. It wasn’t a goodbye wave, but rather a hello. It was almost as if she was trying to say “There you are… ”
In a way I feel kinda dirty. I feel dirty for liking these two girls. I feel dirty for being interested in Haley even though I barely know her. I feel bad for constantly meeting more and more women. Is this what dating is about? The constant collecting of potentials, then weeding out the bad ones? Is this the man that I’ve become?
I‘m better than this. But more importantly…they don’t deserve to be items on my wall. I need to think of a game plan. I need to breakdown, and isolate myself. Which means it’s time to go back to the drawing board, aka, I need to go back to my home: San Francisco.
Sometimes I just wish I could take all
the girls that I like, and combine them
into one super girlfriend.