Winter Quarter is coming up and you know what that means? New classes, new teachers, and new girls. Not just any girls, but college girls! These are the objects of every man’s fantasy – 8 years old and up. But how exactly does one obtain one of these “college” girls? Do you trap them? Can you lure them in with makeup tied onto a fishing pole?
Before you crack open that “How to score chicks” DVD that you rented at your local library, take a step back and realize that in order to score with girls, you need to somehow find a way to get their attention, i.e, let them know that you exist in this world. So here are a few of my own personal tips that I’ve developed over the past few years in college. This isn’t a guide on how to take them out on dates, but rather, how to approach them. I’ll show you some of my rules and share a few tips on how to make an approach without looking like a desperate goon that whistles and hollers at women. Pens and papers out, fellas! Let’s begin the lesson:
Rule 1: Never Hit On A Girl During The First Week Of School
Picture this: You’re playing a game of football with a bunch of the guys when suddenly, your buddy brings over his new friend. This new friend (let’s call him: Whitey) seems quite normal, so all of you decide that he’s cool enough to be on your team. Suddenly, four minutes into the game, Whitey starts calling the shots and Whitey tries to tell everyone what to do. He’s obviously trying to take over as the new Quarterback – and he might even be a really good one – but the fact that he came out on his first day, guns blazing, makes you feel uneasy.
So you start to question his “motives” and eventually, regardless if the guy has any skills, all of you just think of him as a pasty skinned douchebag who needs to get his head slapped on straight. In essence, this is what it’s like if you hit on a girl on the first week. If you do anything on the first week, some girls might think “Who does this guy think he is? This is the FIRST week of school and he’s ALREADY making moves? Does he even care about school?”
Now of course, this might be a far stretch, but you have to understand that while men think in terms of “I got the girl” vs “I didn’t get the girl”, women will categorize you as anything from: creeper, stalker, loser, jock, player, and much much more. So just to be on the safe side, wait till the second week. Let the steak cool down before you hack into it with brutal force. After all, you have the whole quarter, what’s the rush?
Rule 2: Make It Seem Like It Was An Accident
Every time I listen to a married couple explain their “how we met” story, it usually involves some kind of coincidence or an event where both individuals just happened to be doing the same thing. Ex: “Well, me and Takeshi met during our Anime Club meeting. I was drawing a picture of a Totoro when Takeshi walked up and asked ‘Is that Totoro?’ We’ve been together ever since!”
No, I’m not saying that you should join the anime club and seek out desperate weeaboos. What I am saying is that when you make your approach, make it seem very natural and organic. So many guys nowadays feel like they need to go cold steel, walk up with confidence and say “Hi, my name is Erick and I think you are cute.” Unless you’ve been beaten with rocks as a child, you probably know by know that this approach (for lack of a better term) sucks balls.
Think natural. Approach her in the library and ask her where she found the book she just checked out. Sit down next to her on a bench and inquire, “Do you know what time it is?” Think realistically. If it sounds like a pick up line, it probably is. Never start a sentence with “Hi, what’s your name?” Put her in situations that seem normal and comfortable. Once you make that first bit of conversation, you can work your way into more advanced techniques such as “Hey, I need to stop by the administration’s office and pick up my educational plan, wanna come along?”
Rule 3: Don’t Eat Where You Shit
Granted that your college campus is bigger than your computer room, you’ll notice that there are lots of spaces where lots of girls hang out: the study hall, the cafeteria, the library, the bench area, the outside eating area, etc. All of these places are crawling with women and one of the mistakes I see many guys making is that they stick to one area. They only hit on girls in the cafeteria, or girls in the sports facility. Move around and sample from every area of the campus.
However, don’t forget this key rule: If you hit on a girl and you fail, even if there’s a girl two feet away that you KNOW you can talk to, do not, I repeat, DO NOT talk to her. The instant you walk off and talk to another girl within the same area, you run the risk of letting everyone in that section know that you are a player. And no, contrary to what rappers might say, being a player is not a good look. It might get you street cred but in the world of women, that can only earn you a spot on the naughty list (and not the sexy kind.)
So if you screw up in the library, move on and take your shots in the cafeteria, or maybe even the second floor of the library.
Rule 4: You Don’t ALWAYS Have To Get Her Phone Number
A common misconception made by many guys is that in order to actually get a “point” when talking to girls, you need to get a phone number, a facebook, or some way to contact them. WRONG! Often times, you could be doing more damage to the situation and even worse, you could be screwing up everything you worked on.
You see, the idea that I want to preach is the idea of being totally natural. No girl wants to be approached by a nervous, sweaty, and stuttering guy who’s fumbling his words as he tries to think of witty things to say. Girls want confidence and the best way to be confident is to be yourself, and act normal. So how do you do that? By talking about normal things.
However, girls have laser beams installed into their brains so whenever a guy says a pickup line or tries to make an approach that is unwanted, a girl will shoot you down faster than John Rambo can shoot a helicopter. So even though you’ve made good progress and you’ve talked to a girl for a good 30 minutes, asking her for her cell phone number might blow your cover. She might think “Awww, I was having so much fun talking to him and then he got all serious. Well, I’m busy with school now and I don’t have time for boys.’
FAIL! YOU FAILED! Ya see? Not all girls want to be swept off their feet, and even if they do, some of them prefer to be eased into the situation. To some women, asking them for their phone number during the first 30 minutes is moving a little too fast. It’s too clingy and it makes them question “Why did he even talk to me in the first place? To talk to me, or get in my pants?”
Now What? Look, did you honestly think I was going to give you that nugget of advice without offering an explanation? Listen up: one of the things that I like to do if I don’t get a phone number is to say “Hey, well, I have to head to my next class but maybe I’ll see you tomorrow or something? Same time? Sure! Nice talking to you too!” You might not get her number but by saying this, you make her anticipate the next time you meet. What you did was you planted a seed in her mind which made her think “Wow… what a nice, laid back guy! He didn’t try to get my number or anything! I’d really like to see him again.”
Girls like patient guys.
***More Personal Tips and Rules***
1. On the subject of getting a girls number, some girls actually want you to ask. What you need to do is you need to feel them out (no dude, not literally.) Test to see how flirty and how responsive they are to your advances. If they bite the bait, go for it. But do it with class. One of the things that I like to say which sounds much more mature and intelligent is “Do you want to exchange contact info?”
Think about it: What sounds better? “Can I get your number?” or “Do you want to exchange contact info?” They’re basically the same thing, only the second one sounds more professional and less like a pickup line. Words matter, bro.
2. Use creative methods to get a girls attention. Here are a few things that I’ve done myself:
– Dropped a pencil “on accident” in front of a girls feet, then talked to her after she handed it back.
– Look at the book she was reading and ask “Hey, isn’t that for Sociology? I tried getting into that class but it was full!”
– Ask a girl sitting next to me “Excuse me, I’m doing a survey for my class (<<bullshit) and I was wondering if I can ask you a few questions.)
3. Most importantly, you need to go out onto a battlefield, and practice. Talk to a bunch of girls. Shit! Talk to two or more girls in a day! Back when I was super active, I would go out for one or two hours, every single day, and try and talk to as many girls as I could. Sure, I didn’t hook up with all of them, but I still made a connection. That’s what matters. The practice and experience matter. Once you get over that fear of talking to girls, it gets easier and easier and you’ll worry less about these four rules and more about what to do next.
Like Brad Pitt said in Inglorious Basterds:
“You know how you get to Carnegie Hall, don’t ya? Practice.”