Stupid Stereotypes: OMFG Why Are Asian Guys So Shy?!

So apparently, all Asian guys are shy. Yes! That is the truth! White girls, White guys, and just about everyone is saying it, therefore it MUST be true! …right?

FUCK NO! WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID?!

"LOOK AT ALL OF THIS! IT'S ALL OF YOU AND YOUR STUPIDITY'S FAULT!"

For some goddamn reason, the idiots of the universe have come to the retarded conclusion that All Asian Guys Are Shy. Now, some of you may be thinking “Hey, man! I think that Asian guys are shy, but I am certainly not an idiut!” Ummm… yeaaaa….about that. Technically speaking, you actually are not just an idiot, but a fucking idiot. You know why? Here’s why:

If an Italian Man yells at the dinner table, throws his spaghetti at the fireplace and says “AYE-UH! What do you think-uh you are-uh doing-uh!?” he is not considered an angry asshole – he is considered passionate.


If a French Man walks up to his drinking buddies, slaps them on the butt, and kisses each guy on the cheek, we don’t consider him a homosexual – we call that friendly.

And if a White American man shoots and kills Mexican Immigrants that try to cross the border, he’s not considered a psychotic killer – he‘s considered a patriot.



What’s crazy to one culture may be totally normal to another. The way we perceive a culture is highly dependent on our own. However, despite the fact that many Americans are homophobic, many of us can make the distinction between homosexuality, and a French Man kissing his best friend. We get it, we understand it, and we don’t judge.

"Did you see that crazy Italian guy?!"


B
ut what about Asian guys? According to many whining assholes on the internetz:

If an Asian Guy doesn’t hit on a girl, or asks for her phone number, then he is ultimately deemed as a shy Asian boy.

But is that really true? Why is it that so many people are willing to appreciate the cultural differences of Italian, French, Black, and Latin culture, but not Asian? Believe it or not, there are real reasons why Asian guys are the way that they are. So please, sit back, relax, and let me pry open your ignorant eyeballs to show you why Asian guys are not shy.

Shy? What are you talking about?!

1. In Asian Culture, Being “Direct” = Bad

Consider the following image:
Key:
Blue = Western Culture Red = Asian Culture

Stating Your Opinions

One of the greatest battles in history deals not with Nazis, KKK, or even Jedis, but rather, parents and children. Whenever my mom and I get into an argument, I usually end up saying something like:

Me: Mom! You’re not understanding me! You can NOT turn on the computer with the T.V remote!
Mom: Ranier, change your tone! You could have said that in a nicer way.
Me: Well, what do you expect me to say?!
Mom: You could have said “Mother, I don’t think you can really use the remote for the T.V. Let me show you how to use it the right way.”

As you can see,  my Western style of being direct often clashes with my Mom’s traditional Asian style of being indirect. Essentially, as Asians, we are taught that if we want to share our thoughts and opinions, we must do so by adding extra “fluffy” words in order to make it sound less harsh. By doing so, we avoid hurting other people’s feelings, and we maintain a sense of consideration for others.

What Does This Have To Do With Asian Guys Being Shy?

He's not shy, he's just embarassed to show off his giant smile 😉

As a considerate Asian guy, you can’t just walk up to a girl and say “Hey, can I get your number?” No way hombre! You must bump into her by “accident,” apologize, talk to her for a few days, and THEN ask her for her phone number! As an Asian guy, this longer process is viewed as being respectful, and it’s our way of showing you that we care about your feelings and your personal space.

2. Asian Guys Aren’t Shy,We Just Overthink Things

"Hello there, cute girl! I come to you with a plan that will sweep you off your feet. How does that sound?"

One of the biggest reasons why men fail at approaching women is that, quite simply, many men don’t know what to say. They go in, with no plan whatsoever, and they start blurting out random noises. Shit! Some of you guys might as well go up to a girl and say “ooga ooga!” But NO! Not Asian guys! The problem with Asian guys is not that we’re shy, but rather, we tend to overthink things.

Think about it this way: Asians are hard wired to get good grades. In order to get a good grade, you need to study a bit, and you need to know what is on the test before you take it. So when it comes to the test of dating, often times, Asian guys spend too much time studying (or in this case, planning and figuring out what to do), and not enough time on actually going out and making a move.

"If my calculations are correct, smoking this cigarette while wearing this suit will guarantee that you will fall in love with me!"

Now, don’t mistake this for shyness. The fact that an Asian guy doesn’t make a move isn’t necessarily out of shyness, but rather, he just wants to make sure his plan is 100% guaranteed to work. Sometimes, we’ll be very interested in a girl, and we don’t wanna screw it up. So we create elaborate plans to sweep you off your feet, take you to the beach, and make love to you long, long time. Unfortunately, by the time we’re ready to make a move, some jerk jumps in and steals our girl!

3. Asian Guys Aren’t Shy, We’re Just Not Interested In YOU!

*BBW 4 AM* "Hai Azn Guyz! I'm single and ready to mingle! LAWLS! I'm so silly!"

Sometimes, people really amaze me. I’ll be talking to some 40 year old, 300 lb lady with a mustache, and she’ll be like “OMFG! THIS HOT ASIAN GUY AT WORK ISN’T TALKING TO ME! WHY IS HE SO SHY?! TALK TO ME, YOU SEXY SEXY ASIAN MAN! STOP BEING SO SHY! I DON’T BITE!”

Ummm…. are you forreals? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe – just maybe – the Asian guy isn’t interested? I mean come on! Just because you’re a fat White chick doesn’t mean I wanna sleep with you! I have standards too, dammit! Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I get the feeling that non-Asian girls expect Asian guys to be desperate – as if our confidence is so unbelievably low that we’ll just hook up with anyone with a vagina. Well guess what? You’re wrong.

So no, Asian guys are NOT shy, we just don’t wanna date 300lb girls with mustaches.

And if your name is Keni Styles, well then shiettt! You can date just about any woman you want!

4. Asian Guys Aren’t Shy,We’re Just Preoccupied  With School and Work

Rick Yune is an actor, so technically, this is considered "work" 🙂

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize that school and work are high priorities in the Asian world. As an Asian, your primary purpose in life is to make money – and lots of it. It’s programmed in our brains, son! Sure, we may be on the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to dating, but hey! Look at our figures! As of now, Asians hold the highest median salary in the United States! Do you think that would have been possible if Asian guys partied all night and had daily orgies with sorority girls? Possible, but not likely.

For many Asians (including myself), I was raised to believe that I can only have a girlfriend when I graduate college. The idea being that, if I have a girlfriend during school, I might get distracted. That idea is totally foreign to me now, but every now and then, I’ll “shut down” the factory of love, and focus on school. Sometimes it’s not even about getting better grades, but rather, spending more time to figure out who I am, and what I want.

Unluckily, a lot of Women mistaken this as shyness, when really, it’s just an awareness of one’s priorities in life.

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What Does This All Mean?

Furthermore, what the HELL is goin on in this picture?!

Look: I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that All Asian guys are NOT shy. There are definitely a handful of shy Asian guys, as well as shy White guys, shy Black guys, and shy French guys. Shyness isn’t a characteristic of an ethnic group, it’s just your perception of someone’s behavior. If you think that someone is shy, it’s probably because you yourself are a confident person.

When it comes to Asian guys being shy, remember that there are many factors that can affect your perception. Things such as: culture, you being ignorant, and you being an idiot. Stop looking at people from the mindset of your own, and start seeing them from their culture’s perspective. Stop trying to change an entire culture when in reality, you’re the one that needs the change. Try to be understanding! Get to know Asian guys before you judge them!

If you keep complaining about Asian guys, this is what will happen to you: REJECTION!

The more you bitch and whine about us Asian guys being shy, the more ignorant you start to sound. It just proves that you’re lazy, and unwilling to accept the differences in OUR culture. So spread the love, get yourself an Asian man, and shit… if you must, go talk to the Asian guy your damn self!

What’s wrong? You don’t want to? Or are you just being shy? 😉