Things Asian Guys Hate: Non-Asian Girls That Have An Asian Fetish

I‘ll tell you right now: this blog post might hurt your feelings. In that case, TOO BAD!

"Stop crying, you're embarrassing yourself"

If I may, I’d like to brag for a good moment. As it turns out, being an AMXF (Asian Male + Non-Asian Female) blogger yields a few kick-ass benefits. For starters: I get a lot of Facebook friend requests. Last time I checked (which was about 2 weeks ago), I received over 120 friend requests within the course of a month – and that was just from Black Women. Right now, I’m guessing that the full number is anywhere between 130 – 150.

With that said, I’ve received a ton of flirtatious messages/comments. I’ve gotten everything from “I love your writing, you are so talented!” to “Aye, you single?” to “We would make some cute babies!” And after talking to various women, I started to notice something…

"Hey! I just noticed that your eyes are green! ^0^"

A majority of the women who were flirting with me seemed highly aware of the fact that I was Asian. In other words, they kept saying stuff like “I love Asian men! Asian men are so sexy! Yay Asians! I love K-POP!” Now, that’s a very good thing. It’s good because a lot of Asian guys still can’t believe that non-Asian women are interested in them, SO, in effect, sometimes you Women will just have to spell it out in plain Engrish.

However, when this occurs, something very interesting happens: instead of coming off as flirtatious and romantically interested, you might actually come off as someone with an Asian fetish, or someone looking to catch an Asian man, as if he were some mystical Pokemon. In some cases, the Asian fetish girls go waaayy overboard…

Yea, I'd hit it -- with a brick.

Example (based on TRUE events):
A Black Girl messages me on Facebook for the first time.

Black Girl: Ahn nyeong ha se yo! (hello)
Me: Uhhh… hi!
Black Girl: Eotteohke jinaeseyo? (how are you?)
*translates on Google Translate*
Me: I’m fine, thank you! How about you?
Black Girl: An nyeong ha siut seum ni ka? (I’m fine, thank you)
Me: Ummm… you know I’m not Korean, right?
Black Girl: I know ^__^

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Are you a goddamn idiot?! Do you not realize how ignorant that is? Wait, no, here, let me show you:

Example (made-up):
Scene: Me messaging a Black Girl for the first time

Me: Aye waddup shawty!
Black Girl: Hey!
Me: Whas’ good lil ma? You got a man or what?
Black Girl: Ummm, no, I don’t have a boyfriend. Are you okay?
Me: Ya know, I LOVE me some Jill Scott and Dwele! Wanna hit up the mall sometime and grab a plate of fried chi—

SEE WHAT I MEAN?! Do you see how damn ignorant that is? I mean, not only are you assuming that I speak Korean because I’m Asian, but you also assume that I’m Korean! Okay, now that your ego has been shot down, let me offer a very easy, very practical solution that anyone can do:


Wait, no, that sounds kinda cliche – let me rephrase: If you’re a shy artist who enjoys Latin music and photography, then be the shy artist who enjoys Latin music and photography; If you’re a track star who enjoys short films and graphic novels, then be the track star who enjoys short films and graphic novels. If I’m interested in you, I’m interested in YOU.

I‘m interested in all your little quirks, your flaws, your beautiful smile, and your adorable laugh. I really don’t care too much about your love for K-Pop. I’ll support it, and I’ll listen to it with you, but to me, that’s not enough to get with you. You can’t just come up to me and shout “AHN NYEONG HA SE YO! I LOVE K-POP AND ASIAN MEN!” and expect me to drop down on my knees and give you head — it doesn’t work that way.

"You like K-POP? *yawn* NEXTT!!!"

If I wanted to date someone who was obsessed with Asian culture, then I’d date an Asian girl.

Yeaaaaa... no thanks -- I'll pass.

So please, stop trying to be so damn Asian. I LOVE that you’re interested in our culture, and it really shows that you’re open minded. But you know what would impress me more? I’d be more impressed if you could dance Salsa. I’d be more impressed if you were an artist. I’d be more impressed if you could sing, or write, or that you loved animals, or that you volunteer at the homeless shelter every Christmas.

THAT is the shit that lands you an Asian boyfriend — not your iPod filled with K-POP. Race should matter to the point that it doesn’t matter. Race should matter to a point where you accept their ethnic background, you’ve taken the time to understand it, and you’ll use that information only when necessary. But please, don’t go changing yourself just because you wanna snag yourself a Filipino Taeyang.

And most importantly…




In case you haven’t read my previous post, I have now created an **OFFICIAL FACEBOOK PAGE FOR THIS BLOG, “The Love Life of an Asian Guy”** Be sure to “like” it and send me as many comments as you want. You can suggest future blog topics, ask questions about AMXF, or even get one-on-one advice!

315 thoughts on “Things Asian Guys Hate: Non-Asian Girls That Have An Asian Fetish

    • Hey there. Fantastic post and it really struck home for me. I am the ONLY black woman in my circle of friends and white men make the most ignorant comments to me. What’s truly sad is that I honestly think they have no idea how insulting they’re being. For example, I’ve gotten “you’re so beautiful for a black girl” dozens of times. Like, what does that even mean? It’s such a friggin backhanded compliment, as if all black women are hideous and I just happen to be the one and only exception. NOT true. Or I get “it’s so odd that I’m into you. Blond is more my type.” It’s so transparent that they’re only talking to me to cross off “hook up with a black chick” on their mental checklist (your mystical pokemon comment was so funny but alas, I can’t come up with a witty equivalent). I know what I like and the type of men I’m attracted to and although I appreciate other cultures, race is most definitely NOT a determining factor. I would love to be in a relationship with someone outside my own race. However, your experience and mine make me wary and guarded. I have yet to meet a single person who agrees that “race should matter to the point that it doesn’t matter.” I think I need to move out of the midwest… It feels nice to vent a little!

      • I have similar feeling being a mixed person of both Hispanic and black heritage i am not allowed to claim either races because i don’t fit the stereotype because i am not ignorant and loud and i am rather light and have straighter hair it just doesn’t feel right and i often get backhanded comments as well such a your nose is so cute just like a white person like the hell is that what if i said your skin is so white just like paper?

        • @erin

          Ignorance and loudness come in all colors. Just because someone’s loud, doesn’t make the ignorant, they’re just being loud. You’re stereotyping black folks yourself, so chill out with that.

        • Erin,
          You have to realize Hispanics come in all colors just like blacks, whites and Asians. In truth, Hispanic is an ethnicity. It just seems like a race in the U.S. Latinos from Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba and beyond are mixed with Spanish, Native and African ancestry depending on where they’re from there may be one more than the other. For example, many Mexicans and Native Americans would be considered Mestizo because they have a lot of Spanish and Native American, specifically Mayan ancestry. The people who made that rude comment should really retake world history.

      • The feeling is mutual…Christ (sorry Lord) they’re so corny and try absolutely way to hard. Will it stop your heart from beating if you talk and act normally ????? Ridiculous -_-

        Pardon me but but half of the time I want to knock the sh*t out of them. Wanted to say that :}

      • You just tell the white guy “you’re not bad yourself…for a white guy” (then eye him up and down and sneer). The Golden Rule (“doing unto others..”) can be modified to mean giving someone a taste of their own backhanded compliment!

      • i agree, i get tired of people that compare or act like something that their not, but mostly the compare part like when a guy says your beautiful if you change your hair or something like that , i mean it dosen’t matter what you look like , as long as yourself and being yourself is more beautiful than anything else.

    • I can relate 2 what ur saying. I’m black, native american, caucasian, puerto rican, and japanese in a group of mexicans and black people. I look more japanese so everyone says things like ” ching chong” and stupid stuff like that. Then they come in with plastic swords, cotton kimonos, and alot of makeup. The guys say things phonetically as if I don’t understand english. I just think that some people are just races. Or they call me a porcelain doll because of my figure and skin tone. One day it’s ” konichiwa” the next day ” Oh, i hear that you japanese are freaks.” then they’ll try to get me to sleep with them by wearing traditional japanese clothing. Or they’ll make fun of my name and call me snake because i’m named after Boa Kwon.

      • Uhhhh…..Isn’t your name korean…I’m japanese and I’m pretty sure that’s not a japanese last name…kind of wondering here .-.

      • Or they call me a porcelain doll because of my figure and skin tone.
        Don’t worry about that, im a white girl from europe and i have the same problem with the skin tone.
        Even my friends are jokking about this, like “u’re so white , are u part of twilight cast?”
        So my advice for u is: BE U 🙂

      • Those people are just plain ignorant. They need to learn a little more about Asian culture before they go assuming that all Japanese people are loose. They’re just basing their opinions on stuff they heard not actual facts.

    • This is a very blunt but truthful blog. I like it. I am Mexican but born in the US, I love my heritage and culture, and I am also into Japanese culture and anime. I have been studying Japanese for 3 years now and plan on visiting Japan one day. 🙂

    • Absolutely! I personally find Asian people more physically attractive than other whites like myself, but I don’t want anyone of ANY race to like me for who I pretend to be. If you like me for a fake version of me than you don’t really like me at all, so I would always be wondering if the person would still be my friend if I started to act like myself. It is better to be yourself in the first place. Some people don’t think this way. I come from a mixed family, so maybe that’s why I see all sides, I dunno. I have cousins who are Korean, cousins who are Hispanic and one new cousin (by marriage) who is black. But I still find Asians most attractive. But if I date someone I want them to like ME, not some fake version of me that I think they would want most. So whatever the race of the person you want to date, or just be friends with, let them love the real you.

    • Hi I am Mexican and grew up watching Japanese cartoons (they were more like soap opera for kids) some how my curiosity for the Asian culture grew through the years. When I moved to the US, I felt so close to the Asians at school because I felt we share the same values. I have genuine and eager to learn more about the differences among the different the Asian groups. This is because I respect each group and my intention is not to offend anybody. And yes I am attracted to Asian guys, I also embrace different aspects of their culture that I want to have. It doesn’t mean that I am not proud of my culture, but I also like to learn other things to be a better person. It doesn’t have to do anything with impressing Asian guys. I am sorry if they take it as an obsession. 😦

      • Luna’s response is why I disagree with how the article presents itself. As an example of the extreme, think of a gender bending female who feels like a man trapped in a woman’s body. Is this person acting fake because she chooses to act like a man?

        Just because someone feels a connection with a culture that is not their own and chooses to devote time in understanding and participating in said culture does not make them fake. I am not stating that that is what you are saying, but it is easy to construe your article as such.
        Secondly, and maybe this is just me, but people are way too easily offended and should be more understanding of others. Especially in this context when dealing with someone from outside of the culture. Their exposure level is different than ours.

        I equate it to learning a second language. Many who learn it through a university consider themselves as good up to fluent. But if you really love the language and put forth the effort to become as close to native as possible, then there will come a point where you discover just how little you know.

        It serves little purpose to insult someone as ignorant (and they will be insulted thanks to the negative context in which it is generally used) when that person already has the willingness to learn. That person will figure it out.
        To my third point, your article comes off as overreacting about being fetishized (curse you squiggly red line for making me think I spelled this incorrectly). Let me be clear, I’m not advocating it.

        But a fetish of this kind is generally harmless. For example, I’m positive that many of us have friends who have big breast fetishes. The great majority of these people that are in long, meaningful relationships are not in them based on their fetish. A fetish can be viewed as a means of attraction.

        I hope this does not come across as me telling you how you should feel. I’m merely trying to convey a different perspective.

    • Your Filo? 0.o, I’m a Filo myself but it ain’t that obvious and plus Filipinos don’t even look Korean, some do but like most filos doesn’t look Asian.. They have an Asian touch, yeah but they look different from Koreans.. Damn people, thinking every Asian is korean, japanese or Chinese.. >:/

  1. I think this is the hardest thing for anyone of any nationality to understand when looking for relationships outside of their own culture. I’m often asked how I “got so many Asian friends.” …as if an entire race of people was just placed here to be collected. It’s a rude question and I always have trouble explaining -why- it’s a rude question when I’m asked.

    Also, the thing about Asian /=Korean:

    It’s so offensive the way people claim to “love Asia” but only know a tiny part of it… and even that love for Korea is so narrow. An entire population is not defined by its pop culture!

    Ranier, this entry really struck a nerve. I’m glad you posted it.

  2. THANK YOU!!!!! Thank you for posting this. You know, you’re like the only person I’ve seen that posted about this topic. I HATE when BW just go on facebook and put comments such as “I like Asian Men.” or “I ❤ Asian Men" DUH! You would've liked it on facebook. XD And I just don't get why they assume that most of the men are Korean or Japanese. Maybe even Chinese. It gets on my last nerve also when they start speaking the language, and the guy sometimes end up not knowing what she's talking about or even not being that Nationality. Talk about being embrassed. And I dislike (in this particular section, I like it too.) when the mention they like K-Pop. I'm like "So What? So does almost everyone else on this page!" I'm a BW myself, and I'm just glad that someone finally posted up something about this issue.

    BTW, the ganguro girl in the third pic looks very scary…no…..a nightmare.

  3. As I’ve said before I love your writing Falco and you make some really good points, it was also a hilarious read. I should be finishing a term paper right now but thanks for the honesty and the laugh (<= I needed it today ^_^)

  4. I do like the points made. And I guess i can agree with them to an extent. But I guess I’m out of luck when it comes to attracting a man. I’ve been obsessed with East Asian (specifically Japanese) culture since before I was interested in boys, and it makes me sad that guys tend to be turned off by my passion.
    I tend to find men of eastern descent (generally) to have beautiful bone structure, and that’s the primary reason I’m attracted to them.
    I hear about groups like Super Junior and Big Bang, and I still don’t know who Taeyang is or what he looks or sounds like.
    -___- I can’t say that I’ve ever been much of a k-pop fan.
    I guess those are besides the point.

    The point is I’ve been immersing myself in East Asian Culture for nearly seven years, and it makes me sad that that tends to be a turn off. ):

    • Nicki,

      It seems like you have a legitimate interest in the culture. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t find the right Asian guy for yourself.

      As long as you’re genuine and you aren’t TRYING to like Asian stuff for the sole purpose of getting an Asian guy, then you’ll be fine. You seem to be passionate about this subject and it shows — so in my eyes, you’re good. I’d date you 🙂


    • Hi Nicki, I stumble on this, but how I don’t know 😛 …

      I am an Asian male, lived most of my life in the USA, but learned as much about my culture and history (Vietnamese) as I could to De-Americanized myself 😉 …

      Any how, perhaps this is far too late to reply and comment (2 years too late ^_^ )…But I write anyway.

      To begin with, I think differently from what was written on this blogger. It isn’t a turn-off that you, for example like and learned all you could about my culture, per say. In my mind, I would think and come to believe that you “know” what you are getting into (regarding the relationship with an Asian male) because you would have understood their culture and heritage, to a certain extent at least. You show imitative and interest, that you’re open minded, that you aren’t just going for the “curiosity”. And I would be proud should I date a gal (of a different culture) who knows something about my culture, she would likely to understand me better and be understanding of the differences in personality.

      But I do agree that you ought to be yourself! As it is and will always be your TRUE COLOR.

      (P.S. It is late night here and I got to be offline now for work, but I couldn’t help but to say this before I go. Thus my haste may leave opening for errors and omission that could lead to misunderstanding or wrongful intent – I don’t meant anything negative or offensive. Just wanting to give you another “Asian” perspective.)

  5. I always thought that!! I’m like you’re unhealthy obsession with all things “korean” and/or “asian” is gonna be your downfall! ESPECIALLY if you’re trying to get with an asian man who wasn’t raised in those places.

    Yes I like some kpop. but I like indie hip hop.
    Sure I enjoyed a kdrama. but I like Bad Girls Club too lol.
    Yes Tae Yang is hot as SHIT. but there is some deliciousness I’ve seen in person.

    I’m my own person. I don’t want an “asian” boyfriend. I want a good man, I’m just attracted to asian men the most.

    You have to be your own person. but there is nothing wrong with liking those things as well.

  6. Also… The first time I saw Mr. Falco, I had my own thoughts, but I didn’t think he was korean??… I thought he was filipino. So I just don’t get that part. >=T

  7. Well for the fb requests, in my defense, you wrote in the ‘about me’ section that you like talking to people on the subjects through fb.
    For the article, true, some people are just so obsessed with the whole ‘asian/korean’ thing that it’s quite ridiculous. That said, as Nicki pointed out, there might be reasons for that. Personally, I lived in Asia and i’m going to live there again quite soon. I was there the first time when i was 16, so you know, the time when you start developing a crush for your classmate/friend etc. And in my case, most of them were Chinese! So duh, obviously i’m still attracted to chinese guys. And for the korea-craze, objectively dramas and kpop have a huge power on girls. Other asian countries have not been able to produce cultural products that are as popular in Western Countries (with the exception of Japan). They managed to break some cliches on asian guys and give a new refreshing image of Asian society. But i agree, it’s stupid to be just obsessed with that (though i shouldn’t be the one talking, first thing i did this morning was checking ‘lie to me’ recaps eheh) and to write in korean to a filipino guy. I’m still trying to figure out why she would do that, uh.

  8. I am glad you wrote this. I hope it helps both sides understand that being the object of someones fetish is not cool nor is it flattering.
    I had an Asian guy message me with how much he liked Tupac and Biggie. He also went on to tell me that he had tasted chocolate and loved him some chocolate, as if I were a candy bar or a piece of cake.
    So I hope all races are reading this and getting the point that love and attraction are fine; but obsession is a no no.
    Thank you Mr. Falco

    • Good point! The only time being an object of a fetish is ok is if you have a fetish about being a fetish. Probably every race has been the fetish for someone, but it’s still just plain ol’ creepy. That’s like some Fatal Attraction BS

  9. ROFLMFAO!!!!! This was too funny (very true, btw). But come one, can you really blame them for having an Asian fetish? It’s creepy, kind of embarrassing, and an all-around fail, but… yeah, I can’t think of a “but”. It’s just bad. Sidenote: you know full well blackanese kids are cute as hell! 😛

  10. So I found your blog through another one that I frequent (beyondblackwhite) and noticed that in the post last week about whether or not black women should emulate asian women or not you said something along the lines of we should try to get to know asian culture if we’re going to date asian men.

    But here in this post you’re saying you’re turned off by the black women that are trying to learn asian culture (though admittedly the wrong one)? What’s your happy medium? Should those women completely ignore the fact that you are fillipino and then become blind sided when some huge cultural difference pops up? I’ve dated white, black and asian men and it’s always happened at least once. Most of those instances were more amusing than offensive though 🙂

    Sure there’s nothing more annoying than that “Ayyy yo shawty!!!” talk from someone trying to gain my interest by talking to me like some I’m some hood rat. But I have to agree in part with what Arianna posted above about Korean culture being more readily accessible to western women.

    Soooo… yeah, those women messaging you probably shouldn’t have assumed you were korean. Just correct them and keep it moving. Doesn’t necessarily mean they have an asian man fetish. They might’ve just been trying to relate to you in a fairly ignorant manner.

    • “..[I] noticed that in the post last week about whether or not black women should emulate asian women or not you said something along the lines of we should try to get to know asian culture if we’re going to date asian men.

      But here in this post you’re saying you’re turned off by the black women that are trying to learn asian culture (though admittedly the wrong one)?”

      There’s a difference between getting to know a culture, and being overly obsessed with it.

      This blog is about a polar opposite.

      “What’s your happy medium?”



      • *nods* Okay, maybe I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt first. Perhaps the girl that was messaging you in korean was actually being herself? Maybe her enthusiasm comes from knowing actual koreans? Or she’s currently in Korea right now on a student visa and just happened upon your fb page and wanted to share her knowledge with an asian man she found attractive (farfetched and unlikely i know)?

        I’ve corrected men that have come to me with stereotypes. Most of them backed off with apologies. But I didn’t assume that just because they came to me in that fashion that they all had chocolate fever.

        *shrugs* I don’t know. All I’m saying is that from the example you posted, it seems like your penalizing those women without knowing if it’s a true obsession in the works or just a misguided attempt at trying to relate.

        • *edited to add: I didn’t mean that it was farfetched and unlikely to find you attractive lol. Just that that scenario I posted was unlikely and farfetched.

          • I agree. Sometimes it’s more an interest in the culture, being attracted to a certain country rather than an obsession, than the way to express it might look weird. Example: i love korean dramas. It’s my thing. Of course, whenever i watch a new episode i go “aww he’s so cute” blah blah. That does not mean i’m OBSESSED with korean actors, let alone asian guys. It’s just something i discovered last year and i’m very much into it. But if a guy looks at me while i’m watching a new episode he will think i’m one of those girl with an asian/korean fetish. I agree with colly, you should always give a person the benefit of doubt. Then if she has yellow fever and is not interested in you as a person then yeah…look somewhere else 😀

            • An obsession is always different than a healthy genuine interest.

              You shouldn’t wear your fetish on your sleeve – but wearing your INTERESTS is a different thing altogether, because INTERESTS ARE NOT FETISHES BUT FETISHES ARE INTERESTS. And sexual.

            • I am kind of self-conscious about this myself, I have a boyfriend who’s Chinese-American, and one of the first things we bonded over was a mutual love of Stephen Chow (and part of what attracted me to him was, when he was younger and had long hair, he reminded me of him). I’m always worried he’s going to think I have an Asian (broad, not just East) fetish, because I like a lot of movies from India, China, Japan, Korea etc. I also like quite a few Spanish, German, French, and British films as well (and, as an American, obviously American films) but my Netflix queue says otherwise (because that’s really all I use Netflix for – it has a huge collection of Asian films, and I will fully admit I have a Bollywood addiction, but anyone who likes life should).

              I don’t know, it can be a tricky thing. I usually don’t think about it that much anymore, but in the beginning I was constantly worried about it.

  11. Maaaybe.. Some women are just plain ignorant like that? So they were being themselves.. But just offensively ignorant? Lol idk

  12. Hey,
    It’s been a while since I read one of these, and I must say.. you still kick ass. This is so true. It’s kind of embarrassing how true it is. But all in all I’m glad you addressed it. BE YOURSELF WOMEN! Like yourself, and they will like you too! Trust me.
    ❤ ya! You rock!

  13. I’m guilty of this sort of. I don’t go up to every random Asian and assume they are Asian. However, I just actually happen to really love KPop, I only show it as an ice breaker to guys to show that I am interested in Asian culture. A guy I almost dated, Filipino, was obsessed with KPop and black women. I mean I like kpop but I don’t want to talk only about that all the time it gets annoying. My Ipod is full of Korean, Japanese and Chinese music because I the love language snot being I am trying to be Asian. I don’t show of that Asianness when I am with Asian guys I just do it when I hand out with friends that are girls.

    I feel like I am being my normal self but everyone else sees it as me wanting to be a Asian girl. I just love the language and culture so I just listen to the music and practice writing. Otherwise I am normal me who just happens to like Asian languages and men.

    • “I feel like I am being my normal self but everyone else sees it as me wanting to be a Asian girl. I just love the language and culture so I just listen to the music and practice writing. Otherwise I am normal me who just happens to like Asian languages and men.”

      And that’s just my point outsidetheboxlove! Exactly! When I was in high school I started listening to rock, looking into various artists that I found intensely entertaining while also looking to relate to my best friends (at the time) and suddenly I’m “trying to be white” (never mind the fact that black people actually invented rock n roll). Seems like we can’t win for losing.

      If you don’t know anything about other people’s culture, you’re insensitive. If you try to learn, you’re obsessing. *shakes head*

      • I know. It’s embarrasing. I want to learn other cultures but if we do, we’re obsessing. This is why so many black women stay with black men. They personally know the culture and won’t feel embarrased because they share that. After this thread, I’m more skeptical about dating outside my race. I don’t want to seem as some crazy black chick. At least I know if I love black men or have a preference for them, they won’t think I’m crazy. A black man can correct you or laugh at you if you come off as ignorant because they know. I guess that’s just how life is.

  14. “mystical pokemon” bwahahaha! asianchu, i choose you! lol. i’m sure there are sisters that feel the need to act other than themselves to find someone they feel is worth while. but seriously, it makes no sense to try and *be* the ethnicity of someone you want to date. if that’s what they wanted, they would’ve just dated someone of their own race/ethnicity from the jump.

    that being said, there is an issue about *what kind* of black female non-black males tend to be interested in. certainly there are interracial couples of all kinds. i saw a black and indian couple at the mall earlier: the woman in her salwar kameez, the man with his long greying locks. nice! however it’s no secret that advertisers prize black women with a certain skin tone, hair texture, etc. these preferences inadvertently become standards of beauty, though these women are by far the minority amongst us. as such, around my way at least, many of the black women i see in interracial relationships are of this particular atypical variety. i find this to be less true for wmbw couples in the area, but the others… i mean that’s all good for them, and good for us as well because they make xmbw relationships more visible. at the same time, i yearn to see more typical looking and natural black women in these relationships. i’m keeping an eye out^_^

  15. Word to this whole post. Stank you smelly much, Ranier.

    I also think you should look into why these women may be behaving this way – as Aya mentioned, society prizes a certain type of black female. Many stereotypes about black women seem to stick in non-black male minds…no wonder we have black women behaving in ways that seem outrageous; we’re usually told our true selves are ng no good, no matter what that self is.

    That being said, it’s good advice across the board – just be yourself ladies and gents.


  16. Interesting read and you’re so right…. It’s a well written article..

    I became interested in the Asian culture when I was a teenager. I’m interested in several cultures aside from my own. I ended up learning the most about, ironically, Korean but that was because my daughter married a Korean man. I too enjoy Kpop and Kdramas thanks to my son in law but I’ve never assumed anyone of Asian descent were from any particular country. Oddly, people around here that don’t know the heritage of my son in law call him Chinese (he doesn’t look a bit Chinese…lol).

    You won’t catch me telling you you’re hot or propositioning you. I’m too old for that and frankly happily married. I just wanted to acknowledge your article. I often wondered the thoughts of some of the well known artists/actors/actresses that I sort of follow when they read such things. I just laugh and roll my eyes and chalk it up to immaturity…lol.

  17. Wow…I read your post…and found it very enlightening? xD Your post explains your emotions perfectly. I have to agree with every bit and I’m a non Asian girl.

    I’m a huge Asian music fan, whether it be in Chinese or Tagalog. I love a lot of things Asian, including the men, but that doesn’t rule me. I might like the Asian side of things a little more but that doesn’t just limit me to one culture of the world…with coming across appreciation of Asian culture, I also discovered a passion for wanting to explore the world’s culture. I personally don’t understand how a person can just obsess over just Asians (personally…what makes them superior, the some people just almost worship them frightening.) and crave attention just because the guy is Asian. It’s kinda scary. Personally, I wouldn’t just want the guy just because he is Asian (or any other race) I would also like to see other aspects and the such.

  18. OMG! The moment I read this, my mind started thinking of all my creepy friends that have an Asian fetish, and I couldn’t stop laughing. I totally understood when you get upset for girls overflowing with their obsession with K-pop, its creepy to everyone, lol. But it reminded me of this quote: “Why are you trying so hard to be like everyone else? Your not even good at being yourself.”

    Its just a thing that will always be around, Black girls bragging about the new Big Bang single, White girls asking me to teach them how to dougie, White guys getting “grills”, and Latina’s sitting around talking about the newest gossip girl episode. There will be the people that appreciate another cultures, while others become so obsessed, that they dont notice the stank eyes.

    Thanks for this post! Even though you have probably heard this a MILLION times, but…………GREAT JOB!

  19. Omfg! I loove this! It cracked me up so badly with that black girl :’) you’re right though some people can be so damn ignorant. I guess its changed a bit because before if a non Asian saw an Asian they would just assume that they are Chinese, but now everything is about Korea which isn’t any better. I actually pity you because I can imagine how many Korean obsessed people contact you. Personally I do love K-pop but my life doesn’t revolve around it. My music taste is only a small part of who I am and I don’t let it affect who i am as a person.

  20. Yeah I get what you’re saying, on the other hand, people assume that I have an Asian fetish just because I listen to J/K/C pop. I don’t really know that anyone else at my school is into that, but none of my friends are so they just kind of assume I’m obsessed. Although when asked if I had a preference when it came to what race a guy was I always told them that I’m an equal opportunity lover. They never believe me though…

  21. LOL at the girl that contacted you. You should have told her she was being very offensive. All Asians ain’t alike!

    That being said, I am a woman who enjoys many aspects of Japanese pop culture and honestly that IS me being me. My interest in those things have shaped a large part of my life. I don’t think there’s a need to go around say, “I LOVE JAPAN!” but I won’t deny what I like if people ask me about it. Or I will bring it up if the conversation is right and I won’t be ashamed about it. My BF knows I love anime/manga, Japanese R&B, and the like and but he’s not into it. He doesn’t bug me about it and I don’t press him about it because these things are MY interests. I don’t hide anything but I don’t put it in his face either.

    I have met Asian men who approached me because they like “black culture” and I don’t have a problem with it if it’s used as a initial contact. That being said, it’s important to NOT push these things on other people. If you love anime and the Asian guy you’re talking to doesn’t then shut up about it. Likewise if you’re a guy who like hip-hop and she’s not into it, keep the conversation for other friends.

    It’s okay to like these things but when you obsess over them and push it out on others then don’t get all mad when they give you the WTF is wrong with you look.

  22. As some of the ladies have stated earlier I’m attracted to asian men, but also black men, hispanic men too!! If he’s a good man that I have chemistry with, then I’m open!! It is hilarious and a lil creepy when I read some of the comments my sistas write. One poor child wrote on a FB page “I heard I can get an asian boyfriend here, ya’ll are hot.” I was so confused and disgusted :l As if asian men are something for sale on I’m sure she’ll find out that asian men or any race of men are not that desperate!!

    • Hey it’s also the other way around. You have some of these asian men, white men, and hispanic men thiking we as black women are easy. Some feels as though all they have to do is act a certain way, and we’re ready to drop our panties.

  23. YOU!


    I”m going to go SPAM THIS Blog EVERYWHERE.



  24. No Vae, I love you, my little hmong vaebug. LMAO! ::creeepppin son!::

    oh, and to the writer, props. I can’t stand those type of people. You make the people that actually like Asian men for the right reasons look bad. Stop it. The end.

  25. Shit, I need to rephrase my last sentence on the last comment. The WOMEN that act like ignorant morons when it comes to Asian men make us women that like Asian men for the right reasons look bad. Stop it. The end.

    Damn….too bad they don’t have an “Edit comment” option. 😀

  26. YES!
    I swear if one more person tries to call me unnie or dongsang (I don’t remember the exact Korean word) I will go insane. I’m not Korean nor do I speak it. The whole Kpop thing is getting on my nerves. If you like it, cool. Just don’t put it all in my face.

    Lol for that girl I think you should have went to google translator and reply to her in some language like Russian or Arabic :]

  27. what happens if a girls IPOD is full of K-POP songs,and yea she like asians but she also like the music that the bands are putting out?

  28. Ha Ha-this is by far the best post you’ve ever made! My personal fav, ” Filipino Taeyang” LMBO!!!!!

  29. This was a good post Ranier. And btw, I could totally tell you aren’t Korean, even before I started reading your blog. I don’t know what that black girl’s problem was. LOL But anyway, when I finally meet an Asian guy I really like, I hope I don’t come off as obsessed or having a fetish. I’m not really like the girls you mentioned in your post, but I do have a like and appreciation of Asian culture. 🙂

  30. I agree with the be your damn self part. I see TOO MANY asians (including koreans, filipinos, chinese, japanese etc) walking around trying to act like “gangsters.” I see A LOT of them using that slang crap. They are over interested in hip hop and rap. Grillz, braids, etc. All that crap is annoying. I see it on BOTH sides. Asian men acting like a stereotypical black male trying to fit int with black culture. And the black women constantly talking about how much they love asia and kpop. I think there is NOTHING wrong with saying you love asian men. I mean come on. You ahve websites where black men constantly talk about loving white women. Not to mention the music. How they want a light skin or mixed chick woman. I think it’s fine. I don’t think it’s a fetish I mean you like what you like…preference. I mean if you like black women then by all means shout it to the world. I’m sorry that she assumed you were Korean, but maybe she really thought you were? I mean look at latinos. I know there are mexicans, puerto ricans, dominicans, brazilians, etc and it is embarrasing to not only ask but speak a language and be wrong. Just correct her ignorance, and keep it moving.
    I can say please don’t think we are all like this because we aren’t. I will say is that I really do find asian men attractive. I date all races, but I am highly attracted to asian men the most. I’m sorry if that comes of fetishy (is that a word lol).

    If I made any grammatical answers excuse me for that. Typing fast and I gotta go 🙂

  31. Thank you soo friggin much. I can’t tell you how annoying I find this. It’s honestly pathetic, I don’t understand how these girls who do these things, do not see that.

    I’m not going to lie, I’m a pretty big Kpop fan, and sure, I’d be interested in dating an Asian dude. However, I don’t go around thinking every Asian dude is now Korean, and trying to push my love for Kpop on them, or even wanting to just date someone JUST because they’re Asian. That’s utterly ridiculous. I hope these girls can grow some damn common sense, cause this whole walking up to an Asian and being like “Oppaaaaa~~~” is getting pretty damn annoying.

  32. It seems that there’s always a role for an Asian caricature in American media. Case in point: The latest T-Mobile 4G commercial that’s been aired hundreds of times during the NBA playoffs, where a stubby looking Asian guy stands next to a taller Caucasian spokes-model, acting like a dumb ass, and calling his mom. Sure, it’s all wrapped in fun and comedy, but what’s the message here when this type of stuff is being portrayed over and over?

  33. Awesomely written and hilarious as well. The fb message thing cracked me up!! XD You’re def right, tho. It’s annoying when people try too hard to be something they aren’t. Like Eminem-wannabe guys…just…yea…no. The fried chicken thing reminded me of that lol.

  34. Thank you! I’ve been a K-pop ‘veteran’, if you will, for six years and when I see girls like this, I just shake my head. I can understand little girls thinking like this, but I see college-aged women in their twenties fangirling like hell over Big Bang, Rain, 2PM etc. They’re not all there is, dang.

  35. Wow!!!!!!! We wrote a similar one to this on the same day!!!!! But I like how you went more into it though!!!!! Thats why we re-blog you!!!! Keep up the writing!!!!

  36. Pingback: Things Asian Guys Hate: Non-Asian Girls That Have An Asian Fetish (via ) « blackandyellowambw

  37. I don’t know about you but I’d probably change myself if I could snag me a T.O.P. look-a-like. =) jk

    Great post. It reminded me of stories that my guy friends are always telling me about getting molested by black women at the clubs while they tell them “I LOVE Asian men!!!” It never occurred to me that they probably had an Asian fetish. People are quick to point out a white man with an Asian fetish, but not when it comes to black women I guess.

  38. this is all very nice and true. however, please bear in mind, that you yourself are interested in a precisely NON-asian girlfriend. so the way I see it, it is okay for you to “discriminate” (please excuse the harsh word, I can’t think of any better term here) against asian girls. however, girls are not supposed to clearly “favor” (again, slightly unfitting term) asian guys. kind of a double standard, don’t you think?
    xx emma, non-asian, by the way.

  39. I agree with the OP. In the words of the late great Randy “Macho Man” Savage….. “ohhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaah”

  40. When I think about the word fetish, I think of something temporary..something odd..and not well understood.

    At first glance, you read about kind words being spoken about Asian men,but then, as mentioned on here, the compliments started to get too weird especially when the woman playfully talks about “raping” them.

    All of this reminded me of days when I was in high school. There were types of guys we admired,but didn’t give them much thought in why we did. I once had a crush on this African boy at my school and why I did I didn’t know,but god knew what he was doing when he rejected me( thank god he did. He carjacked a guy). A lot of other girls wanted to date him. A lot of them , thought he was hot( They lied!), and had a sexy voice. I would brag to my mom about him and she would always say to me”You only like this guy because he’s African”. Back then I didn’t get her,why would she say that? was she right about me having an African fetish?

    It took me graduating from high school to realize how correct my mom was about him. I don’t know about his other female admirers,but just like mom said, I liked the idea of him being from another country. I realized and I wanted to like African and other races/nationalites of men for the right reasons, in which I did with another African man that I dated.It didn’t work out. It had nothing to do with our nationalities or me having a fetish of him( I didn’t) of why it failed.

    I’m not going to lie, I have been on AMBW websites oogling over some of those hot Asian men on there,but I’ve also done the same with other races of men. I like looking at good looking men..period. In real life, IR couples have always appealed to me since childhood. Nobody forced me to feel this way or spoke ill will about being Black or another race, I just always felt that way.

    I’m almost 40 and I’m just recently learned about K/J pop through my nephews and from another AMBW website. K/J pop wasn’t around during my time. Though I listen to all kinds of music, I’ve always love( and still love) jazz music. I ‘m not into TV that much,but when I watch it, I like looking at BBC, Aljazeera TV , Telemundo, The George Lopez Show, The Asian Variety Show(AVS) Japanese news and Senegalese/Cape Verdian entertainment etc. After his stint in Vietnam and Korea, my father developed a love for their cultures and other Asian cultures which further influenced me to want to learn more about International affairs.As of this day, he still encourages me to learn more about it and to travel abroad.

    Would I be interested in him if Rain and the K/J pop wasn’t around? IR dating/marriage appealed to me in the past and still do now in 2011.I’ve had crushes on Asian men in the past wayyyy before it all came out. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to see that Asian men are getting more recognition and that more AMBW couples are become more predominate,but it shouldn’t have to take media to help notice them. There were hot Asian men before and there will be in the present and the future.

  41. You know there’s a God when you can be googling random shit and stumble across an amazing blog like this. Major props to you, Ranier, and by now I guess it’s no shocker that I whole heartedly agree with this post.

  42. I like K-pop and I like my dramas, but when meeting a guy it is not the first topic I would want to discuss. I feel like if I’m seeing or dating an Asian guy learning about his hobbies, interests, and values are more important than him knowing Taeyang. Learning and knowing other cultures is cool, but we should not make it our primary focus when finding a partner. There are also more than three types of Asians. Asia is bigger than China, Japan, and Korea. We really need to realize that most Asian guys do not look like Rain, Taeyang, or TOP if that is the type of man a woman is looking for then she is not living in reality.

  43. I guess this must be a new thing with these younger girls who are immature and like Asian men because of K-Pop or Anime. I don’t really care about any of that. I just have a preference for Asian men because I have had better experiences with them than white men. Besides thinking Asian men are better looking, I tend to have more in common with ones my age (non-religious, like the same kind of music, for example).

    I do study Chinese, because it is the language of the future. I would never go up to any Asian person and just start speaking it though. I would recommend watching “Dragon Of Love” on YouTube so see the foolishness of this type fetishism.

    I also agree with the poster who talked about Asians acting “gangsta.” You guys look like fools, stop doing that.

    Overall, you have to find someone who shares your values & supports your endeavors, besides just someone whom you find sexually attractive. (Though that is important too.)

  44. This is a well-written article, don’t get me wrong. But this scares off even the intelligent women who aren’t like that. I’m black, avoiding other black men like the plague and I actually don’t like k-pop or anything like that. I do have my japanese music, games, food and anime going on, but not all women of any color are like that. :/

  45. Rainer,

    LOL your posts are soo dead on. Coming to Seattle soon?Since coming out of the virtual closest that I have a Asian Bf as a Black woman things seem so interesting just as your post suggests. Where I am from regardless of your race you know damn well who is KOREAN and who isn’t. Now Chinese, Viet, Laos, Thai, etc is a little harder to define. I have came across alot of immature comments and borderline stalker comments regarding Asian men. I am so happy for my fellow sis’s to find any man to hold them tight, however I know first hand the notable love of a Asian man. I like…well I love finding your posts that as your other readers commented hits so close to home. Indeed your words do.

  46. There is a very good Youtube video that I came across a few weeks ago that was a perfect example of this. An Asian guy says he wants to date a black girl because he’s never dated a black girl. He meets a black girl and they hook up. Everything is great until he realizes she has an Asian fetish. She makes him dress up in every stereotypical Asian fashion you can think of from movies and television. As the video goes on it gets worse! He ends up leaving her because he realizes she is unwilling to see him for who he really is.

    I’d be insulted if someone like me BECAUSE I was black. That’s like someone like me DESPITE the fact that I’m black. The video was an extreme example of someone with an Asian fetish, but sort of thinking may be found in varying degrees anywhere.

  47. Whoever that girl on FB is, she’s a bit dippy (meaning stupid). If that was me, I wouldn’t have said that unless I was fully aware the guy was Korean.

    You are right though. And I will continue to read your blog but not all of us who want an Asian guy and love Asian culture are desperately trying to be Asian. I’m Black-British and even though I like some of the clothes and am learning two Asian languages, I don’t think I’m trying to be Asian. Not everyone is that is around me in London at least.

  48. Oh man, this post.
    First off, I will admit that I watch a lot of Asian Dramas, I’m not gonna lie. and I do listen to some K-pop, and Japanese and Chinese pop music as well. But, I mostly listen to folk/indie music.

    I am a lot like Nikki, I fell in love with Asian culture as a whole before I even realized that I was attracted to Asian men. I began learning Japanese, just because it sounded cool, not to “catch” myself an Asian. And I am very much influenced by Asian fashion. But I still have pride in my own heritage. I still have a list of other languages I want to learn, not just Asian Languages. I stay true to myself always. Myself just happens to be heavily influenced by my love of Asian culture.

    I also admit to being very attracted to Asian men, But I’m in no way trying to BE Asian. I absolutely love who I am and I don’t want to change that. But because I am so passionate about Asian culture and languages people mistake my passion for obsession, and in some cases it might be I suppose. But it’s starting to get on my nerves that people are beginning to categorize me as “Lydia: The girl that loves all things Asian” and they’re looking past everything else, like Lydia the ukulele player, Lydia the girl with the dreads, or Lydia the girl that loves banjos and nature and bugs, or Lydia, the girl who’s going to be a sign language interpreter…..

    Yes, I’m fascinated with Asian culture, but I have other interests as well… when we’re walking down the street, or watching TV, and we pass by an Asian guy, and my friends ask me “Do you love him?” with that “You would” tone…..No, I don’t love him, I don’t know him. Yeah, maybe I think he’s cute, but so is that Hispanic guy over there…you don’t ask me if I love him.

    I don’t know if this even made any sense. The point I’m trying to make is that Nikki was spot on with the statement she made, people are all too quick to label our passion with obsession and are quick to tell us that we should just be ourselves, when that’s not relevant at all, because that’s exactly what we’re doing.

    And on a side note, I’m not defending any of the ignorant things that some of the girls did that you stated in your post. There are a lot of girls that do try to change themselves to be more Asian and put in a major effort to become what they think Asian guys would like, and I’m not defending that in any way, I was more going off what Nikki said and saying don’t be to quick to judge a girl, cause she may be genuine in her interests.

  49. Oh, and another thing….(I’m sorry I’m posting so much, and I don’t want to seem rude at all, but I just wrote an essay response to a video of the same nature, so this is all fresh in my mind)

  50. oops, I accidentally hit the wrong button D:

    But what I was going to say is, it really irks me how all these people keep saying things like “You Eminem wanabes need to stop tryin to act gangsta and be yourselves.”

    Honestly it’s not your place to tell people to be themselves. You don’t know their lives. If that’s how he’s most comfortable then let him be himself and stop trying to tell him who himself is.

    Of course, if he only acts that way around a certain group of people, and he’s not that way normally, then he knows he’s not being genuine.

    But hip hop culture is BIG. There are a lot of people who have immersed themselves in that lifestyle. It’s not your place to try to push them back into a way of life that they don’t feel is there own…….

    Sorry again, I know it’s not exactly on topic with your posts, but some of these comments really got under my skin. 😦

  51. I can totally relate. I’m a nerdy, artistic, politically active, petite, red-haired, openly bisexual female with a big booty. I encompass a variety of fetishes held by many men and women. “Do the carpets match the drapes?” is a question I’ve been way too familiar with from waaaaay too young an age.

    That being said: I have a boyfriend of Chinese descent, and this has always been tricky for me. I have for a while had an interest in Asian cultures, since way before I even knew my bf, mostly just because some of our oldest advanced societies were located in that chunk of our world, and much of the art and culture is very appealing to me. I am super aware of the fact that some things I’m interested in could make me appear to have a fetish myself. I think of Tokyo and Seoul in a way similar to the way a lot of girls probably think of Paris or London. I generally avoid the subject of his ethinicity unless he brings it up, but I don’t hide the things I like either. It’s just something I’m aware of a lot of the time. That said, I love him just for who he is.

    I’d be lying if I said his gorgeous face and love of Stephen Chow wasn’t part of my initial attraction to him, just like he’d be lying by saying my red hair didn’t attract him. However his big heart and steady nature, the fact that we can talk for hours without running out of things to say, and all the many other things we have in common are what make me want to hold onto him as long as possible, not the fact that his parents were Chinese.

    • I’m probably late to the party, but I really wanted to reply to what you said. As I read your comment, I found that I agreed with much of what you wrote. Even though it is perfectly nature and ok to notice things like race, which can play a factor in attractiveness, the bottom line is that it isn’t nearly as important as having things in common and being able to have a decent conversation. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend.

  52. Heiy,i was surrfing throught net and accidiently come across this page and blog!after this artical i read many more and i think your writing style is really great and your love for african women hair is quite funny,haha.and that about porn your wrote,soo true ! but considering this was the first artical i read i will post my comment here.and i APOLOGIZE because my comment will be EXTREMLY long lol!

    before i start just to make it clear,im not american but south or balkan slavic girl(or you could just say croatian) lol, im coming from a south east european country croatia,ex-yugoslavia(just right side from italy),dont know if you ever heard of it!so there for my culture is extremly different then american so what you wrote above cant all be applayed for my,or for that matter south slavic countries.

    the fact is that korean media is making korean men in the world very popular,yet that craze didnt really hit croatia so much.but i do know a quite a big number of croatian girls that are both crazy over japanese rock and korean pop,and ofcours japanese and korean men.but honestly speaking they like any asian men,as long as it is asian.

    i think that everything you wrote is true,but i would still like to give a different insight of why are some girls getting “asian fetish”.(im going to talk about it why is that in my and other ex-yugoslavian countries,not america)

    at the end of ww2 croatia was part of communist federation of yugoslavia,and stayed in that union until 1991. homeland war began that lasted for 5 years,causing lots of destruction,and complete downfall of econimia.after the war country startd to rebuild,but in the same time,goverment kept shuting us down from the rest of the europe.surely situation now is much MUCH MUCH better then in ninetys,but we still deal with corruption,unemployment,that caused extreme depression in old and young people.
    so for young children(as my self) growing in the post war/post communist country life didnt been that fun as like in other western places.expecially in northen rular part of croatia where your neighbour and best friend suddenly turrned into enemy,but as a child you dont understand for those little girls that grow up in stories of what srebs(also a country that was part of yugoslavia and caused agression on croatia) did to us(or what we did to serbs) in their teen years found faraway romantic east asia as a escape route.
    even though korean dramas and pop,and japanese rock and pop and anime are quite new for south east europe lots of generations of girls(from 25 years to the ones of 14) are escaping from their current reallity by obssesing over thoes guys,or wearing asian girls fashion.they DONT want to be asian,its just for them it feels different and more nicer then from what they are used to.

    im not saying that croatian guys are bad,or ugly.they are acctualy quite good and can be really beautiful and we dont live THAT bad anymore,but there is extreme depression and unmotivation in people,so when you live in a country whrere 95 % of people are croatian,5% are serb and 1% are minorities like gypsies,itallians,czech,slovaks,idea of being with an asian feels so different and romantic in some ways even safe that is causing so called “asian fetish”.also korean pop is much different then croatian(even american pop is completly different then croatian,lol),and the fashion so it really gives the feelling of the another world.

    and to explain why are koreans and japanese the most popular then other asians.(in croatia ofcours).for koreans,well for the start my cousin is married for one!haha anyway the reason they are popular is because they are catholics!croatias are extremly relligious and familys mostly want you to merry a catholic.i know philippinos are catholics too(and i acctually know one women who is married for phillipino guy) but they are not very light skinned…

    i know that maybe for americans this might sound racist,but as i mentioned in my part of europe only live natives,and considering that through centuries in croatia(so in the rest of europe) white skin was considered MUST HAVE,represented your social status,your beauty and so,it still has some value in society.surely we do go to sea and get dark tan,but rarely is dark skin considered attractive then from what croatian can get by suntanning.

    another reason is korean dramas that represent korean men rich.for south slavs we dont really see difference in asian face features a chinese or vietnamese guy could to us be same way beautiful as korean or japanese,but its just that koreans seems more rich then the other two.because they always see them in dramas or as tourists wearring different clothes that seems like some big labes or driving extremly cool or fashinable cars they think its rich.croatian people are not so materialistic but when people see forigneres having something they dont have it,they also want it,and thats why girls fall for korean men,they want to have all that nice clothes and phones and i dont know what all ,that all those korean girls seem to have in the dramas/mvs/….

    japanese is another story.there exist this strange mutual relatonship between the japan and croatia.croatians have HUGE respect for the japanese,and japanese really admire and are attracted to croatian tradition,food,history.when the homeland war ended it was japanese that digged the mines,they invested money in rebuilding our schools,and hospitals in rular areas and,my city for example is in brotherhood relationship with some japanese city,lol.
    even though in croatia for a long time existed this stereotyoe of a traditional small japanese men(one of the reson is a big number of old jap tourrists)that beats wife and so on,the young exchange students,jrock bands,jpop bands,dramans changed the story.the more and more young japanese men is coming as exchange students to the capital city and women are just falling for them.i cant really explain why,there is this charm in them,of being modern yet traditional,polite and cute yet manly…also girls are feeling special that someones from such old culture is interested in south east europe cultural heritage is considered extremly importan.

    so i hope i explained you why some girls act like they have asian fetishes.i dont know if you can applay this for american women,but if you ever visit east europe….lol

  53. Good article. I do enjoy Korean popular culture. I also enjoy Chinese and Japanese. All of whose languages i want to learn. My love for Asian culture is because it feels good to me. the more i learn the more i am intrigued. Everyday I find another country that fascinates me, another musical style that brings me enjoyment. I do not wish to be Asian although i do want to live in Asia and travel Asia. Thankfully I can say that I am not guilty of these things. But I do feel very self conscious about my love of things and people Asian. only my mother, best-friend and son accept this aspect of me. I live in the Caribbean, our eyes are almost exclusively fixed on America, its culture, music, ideals and value system. So my looking in the other direction is considered strange. Where I live our Asian community is small and reclusive. It is difficult to meet and get to know them male or female. I honestly don’t know how to approach them, since we are not often in the same circles. How do I tell the girl or guy serving me at the Chinese restaurant that I would like to get to know them?

  54. as for myself
    lol,personally i am attracted to asian guys..but really….i dont like animes at all,their dramas are all the same to me,i watched few japanese that were good,but so are and british and bosnian and french…
    as for korean pop…..yeah its just not my thing,some guys are hot,some gyus are not…acctually kpop sounds similar to u.s.pop to me…..i only kinda like dbsk because they really are good in what they do,the dancing,the singing,its realy amazing…..
    jrock….i liked them when i was 15 because i didnt even know something like that existed,then i turned 16 and it became extremly childlish to me…and….all the bands sound and look pretty much the same to me….though i am a ayumi hamasaki and alan(some tibetian girl) fan
    i also like one chinese song,have no idea who is singing it,it was from one movie,that was acctually the first asian song i heard and one of the best!
    i personally like asian men because they looks so different then guys in croatia,and i met some tourists and it really does feel different being with them,different energy which makes me feel better.and not to mention i knew a japanese guy that always payed the drinks and even food to me…..i miss him 😀
    reason i started to like them was when i was 13 or 12 years old,i was in italy in one amusing park and my bother noticed one guy different then anyone else for croatian girl that never saw other races then mine in life i was stunned.the guy was asian and i STILL think he was the most beautiful guy i ever saw in my life…

    as for asian culture,im a history lover,better saying im studying archeology 😀 im interested in many cultures european <3,mesopotamian,egyptian,southamerican,east and southeast asian,i also like indian. but i guess the most is east asian,expecially chinese,it really is sooo romantic and their history is like one big myth,european history in medevial ages till now is extremly brutal and dark comparing to east asian which feels refreshing and romantic lol

    i really sorry fot two long comments i read many people wrote about them selfs as reply so i thought too

    apologize for english 😀

  55. “Not all of us are Korean dumbass!” LOL

    now non-krn asians are starting to feel how a korean feels when he has been called chinese or japanese while growing up. ppl and their ignorance, i feel ya.

  56. Dude I feel your pain!!! That’s my 1st time posting. I laughed so much reading this blog, but don’t get me wrong I’m not laughing at your situation, just the way the post was written and put together! You know, like how some comedian expose an uncomfortable reality and the way they talk about it is hilarious, yet we still get their point and take them seriously. You have a way with words. LOL!! But I feel you. Some people can be very creepy. The worst is when some of these chicks give you a “list of reasons why they like asian guys”, list made of a bunch of stereotypes, half of them being inspired by the dramas they’ve watched, not realizing that they’re actually seeing asian men as a concept, not an individual. The same thing happens to black women sometimes, and I don’t need to tell you where the inspiration comes from.

  57. Pingback: Express My Views #5: Response to Interracial Dating Rant (AM/BW) | Candy Nine

  58. OMG!!! I almost died of laughter when reading what that black girl messaged you…and u made a really good point. I’m black and I really like asian men, I listen to kpop and everything but i dont listen to it to get myself an asian man…i just like it…my issue is that im worried that people will think that im trying to be asian because i like some asian things…when really im just being myself 😦

  59. Hi. I read it and I’m concordant with you. I listen to kpop a little but I prefer japanese music. I really like Japan but not just because of the music. It is because of their culture, origami, anime, manga and different understanding of things. My friends know that I’m a japanese fan and think that I want to live in Japan and want to marry a japanese but that is not right :/. I like them but I don’t cares if my boyfriend or husband is an asian or not. And yeah I wish I could be a japanese because I don’t like very much my country and the people here. BUT I’m not an asian and I can’t be. That’s because I’m just myself and I don’t think like them and my culture is so so so different.
    Btw these days I cut my hair short because I wanted to do it since 3 years but I tought that it won’t suit me. Anyway I pluck up courage and I go to hairdresser. I gave her some pics of japanese mans to look at them hairstyles because I just like that hair not because they are japanese. When I see people with similar hairstyle I like him too and he is not an asian. I liked that hairstyle before I started to like asians. I don’t show the pictures to the hairdresser because my friends started to talk to me that I would look great and I will like my new hairstyle because it would be asian. Then I liked just short girl hairstyle in the magazine and the hairdresser cut my hair like that. I like it but when my friends saw me they told me that I looked like an asian. I just like the hairstyle and I told them but they continued to say me that. I just follow my style. this is it. Do you think that it looks asian? It is just a ordinary hairstyle. Sorry to keep saying that but I recieve comment on facebook from my best friend and it was that on that pic I look like an asian O.O. Ok I’ll stop because it si late and I can’t think very good :d.

  60. I agree indefinitely. I look to race as being just a starting point for some people, like a board game. The guy’s Asian? Jump ahead one space. He’s attractive to me? Two spaces. He’s got a great personality and has stuff in common? Three spaces. You guys get to know each each other to the point of falling in love? Jump down that chute and enjoy the ride to the finish (i.e. a romantic relationship)!

    Sure, I appreciate Asian things like just about everyone else here, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to lose myself just to impress a guy who might just give a reaction like yours, Rainer. Maybe Taeyang and 2pm are nice ice-breakers in a conversation. or are something to listen to when you two cuddle together, but I’m not going to expect this prospective guy to embellish a relationship with nothing but our possible interest in his/Asian culture. Like anything else, such common interests are tools to help you get closer together, not the driving force that keeps you together, because it could tear you apart.

    Thanks for the awesome, entertaining blog as always, Rainer. I think I’ll know what to do when an Asian cutie glances my way~ ^-^

    • How can I look like an asian with that eyes O.o. I think you think that now but maybe it’s only for the picture O.o. My friend who likes asians think that there’s no similar and she just like my hairstyle. On your mind every girl with straight hair looks like an asian? And there are lots of guys here who don’t like asians but it’s not like that they don’t mind them but they really don’t like them. I don’t understand what against they have about them but it’s like they almost hate them O.o. And they have hairstyle like an asian but they don’t look like them :/. But thank you that you tell me what you think ^^ and sorry about the spam

  61. Let me tell you something, The Falco. Women don’t send you tons of FB messages because you are Asian. They do it because you are so freaking HOT!! I could care less where you are from, but dammit…you are yummy!!!

    But you are right. I can feel you. When stupid non-latins address me as Colombian, I hate it!! They are just idiotic people who unrealistically try to fit a hot person into their idealistic idea of what something should be.

    • Totally agreed on that one except that i’m hispanic and people always ask me this one question “are you japanese or some other asian ethnicity?” And I tell them no i’m honduran and they always reply by saying “oh is that some country near or in asia?”

  62. many asian do have sharp features and big eyes…whatever asian u r seeing is just the tip of an iceberg we got better stock out here and all through breed…..and as for the hatred to asians i dont think we should mind cos it all depends on them and they got every right to hate us and the reasons are better known to them and we are least bothered about that….moreover we lose nothing if they hate us and gain nothing even if they love us…..its there way of live…..!!!!we are quite happy with what we are and i hope they also remain happy with what they are…

  63. This post really made me think. I’m into Chinese culture a lot, currently learning Chinese. Am I obsessed? Hell knows! I listen to Jay Chou and watch Taiwanese dramas and just returned from China where I spent a month learning Chinese. I became interested in the culture through music, when I accidentally discovered a Jay Chou song. Now based on your post if I chat with Chinese guys in Chinese, it puts them off? Shall i not learn the language at all? I’m not learning it to catch a guy, I learn it because that language is just soooo beautiful, and such a mysterious puzzle that i want to solve it (the language I mean). I like speaking it, I like writing it. Is this really going to be the reason why no Chinese guys would ever date me???

  64. @Lydia

    Doesn’t matter if hip hop culture is NOW big. It has it’s roots and it’s roots are in fact black. People seem to dictate what others can’t enjoy. By that I can say anyone who speaks slang, dresses, urban, listens to jazz, rock &roll, gospel, hop hop r&b, rap, reggae, dancehall, pop etc has a fetish for blacks.

  65. i think most people assume that all asians are either korean or chinese mainly because of the trend in kpop and because china is a well known large country? maybe ^^; i have to admit i do love asian culture, music, food, etc, etc but i wouldn’t call it a fetish… or maybe you would OTL i love other cultures, languages, races, for example: i love the victorian era, ancient egypt, greek mythology and korea and japan. i want to be a language teacher or a interpreter/translator, but part of my main problem is i cant decide what languages i want to learn. the japanese characters were one of the reasons why i first wanted to learn the language, because they were more simple looking than chinese and i liked how the alphabet is like a i u e o ka ki ku ke ko. when i see/meet an asian person i like to find out where they come from (just china, japan, taiwan etc) and what langauages they speak, i’d feel terrible if i mistook them for japanese when they were chinese, so i guess thats why i dont talk to asian people much T_T plus my town isn’t very mutli-cultural D: but i do have a japanese friend who i sometimes write letters to and i talk to her on fb. i got into asian (mainly japanese) cutlure when i was in primary school, but they stopped teaching languages, but when i got into highschool and started learning it again i started to get into jpop and somehow i found kpop, i hate the fact that i act sometimes like how you kinda said, i hate those screaming ‘fan girls’ who all they really care about is how hot such and such is, and im scared that im slowly turning into one of those people, i want to be someone who can appreciate cultures without being too fanatic about it, and i would like not to be racist at all, cause i’d admit i am a little racist at times, and when you think about it, they did nothing wrong, i want to snap out of it, its plain rude. like how my uncle and grandpa dont like the japanese at all, i know they have their reasons why but still its racist and i dont like them being like that, it would be nice if everyone got along. im sorry, im blabbering away, off topic?, wasting your time, and i probably sound like some depressing asian fanatic.


    Anyways….it doesn’t matter though, I envy you good looking people. Me… too ugly to get ANY girl. No, I’m not asking for pity… more like… venting (sort of) lol…

  67. Very nice post! I find asians attractive (like everyone else- white, blacks, hispanics…)
    However, you’d be AMAZED by how disturbed are by the fact that a black, not only black but east african girl would ever be interested in dating one.
    (no no, don’t worry no fetish here!)

  68. Great post. Glad to hear somebody ELSE say it. Not only does it bother you but it bothers me. That’s why when I go into these FB groups I see post after post of K-Pop or what have you and hear “Oh he’s so cute! I “love” K-Pop or calling all of them oppa….Okay, call me ignorant but I have no idea what it means. If I’m talking to an Asian man, I want to know HIM just as i want him to know me. Personally, I’m into fitness as I’m a personal trainer. While I’d like for him to take care of himself and his health, I don’t expect him to be like me or talk gym talk. That’s why I created my own group “Breaking Down Walls” just for this reason…to break down the stereotypical walls and really get to know each other as people and do things together as a group. I also hear how some BW just now notice Asian men and I’m like what? I’ve been this way since I was a little girl. Oh what is it you like about Asian men…..I love,…….(fill in the blanks with something that fan girls would say). Really? Or they go after an Asian man without knowing anything about him or even if they have anything in common just because he’s Asian…..or because they want a Blasian baby….I could write a book but since this is your spot I’ll leave it at that =).

  69. Sorry I’m a little late, but this is a great article and I had to re-post it. It’s true when I’ve had men of other cultures approach me and they had to mention EVERYTHING ethnic as though it would make me like them more. I dated an Asian man before and we clicked because we had a lot of the same interest which is why it worked out so well for us during that time in my life. We broke up because he had to move back to China and I wasn’t ready for that big change in my life.

  70. “mystical pokèmon”lol!!!! Gosh this is so true like I’m half Korean half Japanese and people r like randomly (failing) to attempt to talk to me in my apparently “native” language, and I’m just like what the heck are u saying?! I mean I love all Asians but I really hate Asian wanna bes!! Especially the Korean ones like this girl I know keeps trying to act Korean and it’s so annoying!!!! She says to her girlfriends:
    Korean wanna be: noona!!! Saranghae!!! (older sister!!! I love you!!!
    Me in my head: you know only guys are supposed to say older sister like that?
    And she tells people omg I love being Korean!! You know I’m full Korean!!!
    Me in my head: you’ve been telling people your Japanese since the 3rd grade you liar!!!
    Ok well sry for that tantrum but yah I hate Asian wanna bes!!! I loves what u wrote and I loved how truthful u are!! Oh and I really love your pics (sry I REALLY love kpop n kdramas^_~)
    anyways back to the main point loved your blog!!! Those people your were talking about are the type of people I hate but good luck having to deal w/ them!!!

    • Hi emakizuru! Just let me understand it please – if someone non-Asian is interested in your culture and tries to communicate with you in your native language, even he/she fails to properly use it, it irritates you? Why would everyone like that be a “Korean wannabe”? People cant change their skin color or eye shape, so there is no such thing “I want to be Korean”. If you happen to be Caucasian, you can master the culture and the language and you will still not be Korean/Chinese/Thai/etc. I think that if someone is genuinely interested in your culture, it should be respected, even if his/her constant misuse of proper wording or other aspects annoys you from time to time. Maybe it is just a superficial thing for him/her but my question is, how do you know that? Have you ever tried questioning him/her why they are interested? What have they done so far? If it is really just “being in love” with cute Korean drama idols, then let it be… But what if someone is really interested and makes efforts to learn about the culture, the language, the people? What is so despicable in people trying to understand a different culture? And why is it annoying to you that they fail to properly say a word or use a notion? Is your English perfect? Even if it is, the Asian languages are difficult for someone with a non-Asian background. maybe you should correct her and teach her what the proper word for sister is in Korean if said by a girl.

      This is a message for all the haters here: just put yourself in the shoes of a non-Asian trying to absorb a different culture, learning a totally different language and trying to make friends because he/she is interested. Just for a split second, try to see the other side as well and not only care about how YOU feel. 🙂

      • I agree with this 100%

        If a guy/girl wants to learn your culture, you should respect and honor that!

        OKAY, its wrong for them to assume you are Korean, when you are a Filipino guy, but jeez cut these girls a break, they are just trying to bridge a gap.

        Also, why do you hate Asian girls for being Asian?

        I dunno many, it just seems like you are REALLY proud to be filipino, and don’t like getting lumped into the Asian guy category, which I can appreciate and respect, no doubt!

        But when I started to learn more about Asian women, I really dug deep to find out about thier individual personality, individual upbringing, and individual culture

        but, that being said, its difficult to form a bond with a stranger at times, and having some ‘short cuts’ really makes your ‘game’ more efficient.

        But hey man….

        Thats just me.

        Respect on the blog.

        Check out mine sometime.

  71. Wow. That was such a funny and yet powerful article. I do have to admit, I like k-pop and other Asian entertainment, but besides trying my hardest not to come off as obsessed, or find other ways to interact with Asian men, It seems like the ones around me aren’t interested at all. Not to stereotype, but my school is right next to a pharmaceutical college so, there are quite a few 🙂 Now, don’t take this as me being conceited or anything, but I feel as though I’m pretty well-mannered and not a stereotypical black or African American female. I mean, everyone is unique. I just try a little extra hard not to fall into the gap, especially ones that would cause me to change myself to be attractive or accepted.
    I know you advised your readers to be themselves, but no matter what, I think something about you (as the individual) would have to change in order for things to work. There’s always some type of sacrifice in a successful relationship.
    But anyway, it was a great article. I’m always looking for some good advice on how to start a relationship with an Asian man.

    well i alsoo like korean music but i do not ONLY like korean music im someone who listens to music all over the world like indian music and arabic music for instance and i look at guys from all over the world
    it is really annoying of those girls to only concentrate on asian guys
    i know a lot of them personally
    and it seems to me like they r only open for asian guys..
    i mean you cant decide on whom you are going to fall in love with you shouldnt concentrate on only one area -.-
    but the thing i hate the most is those girls who are overly trying to act like asians..
    like those japanese wannabes… they always use some japanese words even when they talk to a non japanese speaker like me i mean how the heck am i supposed to understand tht? and its not like they speak japanese or anthing.
    i do watch anime and read mangas but i do not speak japanese -.-
    anyway i totally agree with you

    btw asia isnt only philippines, china, japan, korea and vietnam (etc)
    syria, jordan, india, russia and afghanistan (etc) are also asian countries, arent they? LOL

  73. wow, i agree with what you are sayin. im a young black female and i’ve always been interested in asians and their culture i just didnt think they were interested in me so i didnt bother. i want to also learn the language but not just to get a guy. after reading your um.. love life thing lol i decided to give a shot. thanks for the info.

  74. Ah ! This blog was rather depressing for me to read, in a way, since I really do like kpop… but it also made some very good points. Just because I’m a huge fan of popular Korean groups does not naturally mean I want to get with every Asian guy I see…

    …and just because I study Japanology at uni doesn’t mean I’m doing it to land myself a husband. But I suppose it all just depends on what you have going on outside of that. Music is very important to me, but I just hope that the people I meet, regardless of ethnicity will see beyond the obsession. I don’t study Japanology because I like kpop, but because I love the culture and am interested in every fact of it…

    So while at first, I panicked and went : “oh no, do I come off as this kind of person?” I realised that even though I do like the “stereotypical asian look” I don’t go around telling guys: “you’re asian so I like you” and I guess that’s a good thing.

    But hey, with the fact that stating anything about liking the looks of asian men in general could be offensive, I will be more careful of my words ! I’d hate to offend anyone just because their culture is so damn fascinating to me !

  75. This is obviously a joke, or definite wishful thinking. Go to any bar, or social setting and I will bet my bottom dollar the ladies are not swooning over Asian dudes. But dream on

  76. Re Larry : I think you’re right…well depending which bar you are at. In So Cal the UC Scene is pretty saturated with girls who like Asian men…lol perhaps for the wrong reasons, now that I think about it.

    I like this post SO much cuz my BF and I were discussing this yesterday. We were arguing about the fact that in most western countries the Asian man is not considered desirable as a sex symbol or desirable partner, and I was arguing that it wasn’t true because of the whole obsession that women (internationally) are starting to have about Kpop Stars and Kdrama actors. He says that the Asian man versus the Asian woman is not as globally accepted. Even with the Hallyu craze, percentage wise, he may be right….

    Before I get started on the rest of my thoughts on this though,let me just say I’m half Asian, but to look at me, you’d think I am just a BW. I grew up in Asia – my Mom and siblings, cousins etc. are all full asian, my mom had me after she divorced and married my Dad, an African from Africa ( they both worked for the UN and met in Africa) I’m literally the black sheep…lol ANYWAY –

    This perspective is great because I study a lot of Asian culture as a whole. I’m re-learning Tagalog (Ako ay Filipina) and Korean ( I previously studied Japanese for 4 years and happened to learn Thai because I lived in Thailand). I genuinely love Asian culture and I hate it when people look at me and are like oh its another one of those BW’s who wish they were Asian – lol – though I do think it is one the funniest stereotypes I’ve ever been associated with.

    My main annoyance is towards the women who try to become more Asian by absorbing K-entertainment and nothing else. Like you said, if you really like the culture, then learn that there are over 100 Asian countries, and so many facets to the culture as a whole that are much more interesting than Bib bang and Shinee…. and surprise, India is part of Asia, and if I were to get technical, so is Russia! So are you attracted to those guys too?

    I have to say though, that since I started studying Asia (about 5 years now) I’m found myself attracted to the typical Asian looking man in general, though when I lived in Asia, I didn’t think about dating them (lol and now I wont get the chance to since I’m engaged) Anyway – great post, I wanted to comment.

    Women – if you’re wondering how to catch a man who is asian/korean/japanese etc, the best advice as already been given here : Be yourself and realize that you need to look for qualities that would make a good boyfriend, not a good candidate for your latest k-pop/kdrama fantasy love scene.

    I cant believe that’s I sentence I would ever be telling anybody…lol

  77. Fuck these FILTHY WATER drinking Asian fags,
    it amazes me the fact that you don’t WIPE YOUR ASSES and you have the
    audacity to hate on everyone of us of color!!!!!!

  78. Wow thank you so much for proving my point.:) I know. People like this, but its not jus an Asian it. Its of all types black, white, Hispanic etc
    you should be yourself and that person well love you sad you dont have to be over obsessed with ones culture.. its kinda creepy one a level that you wanna go to great lengths to show”

  79. Wow thank you so much for proving my point.:) I know. People like this, but its not jus an Asian it. Its of all types black, white, Hispanic etc
    you should be yourself and that person well love you sad you dont have to be over obsessed with ones culture.. its kinda creepy one a level that you wanna go to great lengths to show ” HEY LOOK AT ME IM WAY INTO ASIAN
    CULTURE,,SOfWE SHOULD DATE OR BE BFF S” bu t really its over doing it n if someone wanted that dont you think they date another



  82. Interesting blog post. I’m a white girl and I use to have the opposite issue: asian guys only dated me because I’m a white girl. What bothered me more is that I went to a bar with one of them and an old friend of mine that is a tall blond came up and started talking to me. After she left, my asian date exclaimed that she was the perfect white girl and he wish he could get a white girl like that. Ugh.

    So, the issue is on both sides.

  83. Great post !

    I was wondering what would you think about dating an asian girl who weren’t raised in a asian background. For example adopted girls from asian country? or Canadian born Chinese etc. ?

    I know that I am always and obviously perceived as an Asian girl from caucasian guys in my school but what about asian guys? Do you perceive adopted kid like me as asian or anything else? After all I have nothing in common with my birthcountry, would it make a difference?

    (I know that ethnic background should not matter, but it would be kinda like avoiding the question. People do take race into consideration, well the kind that goes to my college anyway…I’ve been told that a guy wouldn’t date me beacause I’m asian…)

    Would an asian guy say that he won’t date me because i’m not really asian (as in raised in china and all that stuff) ?

    This is soo complicated.

  84. sorry my english sucks! what you say, i’ve noticed it too! i think i can explain the reason of those girls being like that, i think that being a non asian girl who likes asian men, you’ll be made fun a lot. people just doesn´t get over it and shut the hell up. at least that’s what happens to me. its like a label. i’m obsesed with a lot of stuff! swimming, architecture (as any architecture student), drawing, and i won the 1st place of the national manga contest here in venezuela (oh, and i dance salsa haha). but in the moment people notice my interest into asian men, nothing of that counts, to the others i stop being normal and automatically become the girl who likes asians. soooo i think some girls end up sticking too much to it. liking asians becomes a big part of what defines them as individuals. that’s the problem with girls who are too much into k-pop stuff.. they just stick too much to it and leave apart the other things that defines them. liking asian men is troublesome -.- you gotta be made fun of for it and have to defend yourself. i know those girls are freaking annoying -.- but be nice to them too, maybe people bully them for liking you, at least they’ll spect you to be nice 🙂

  85. oh and in the other hand there’re those annoying girls that for some reason think that liking asians is very special and unique in the universe and that is highly necesary to shout it loud to the world so the world can bully them. but i have no explanation to it.

  86. This was so freaking funny in how true it was. I’m mixed and don’t look Asian to anyone who isn’t Asian, since I’m only 1/4 Filipino and a tiny bit Chinese. When my friends find out I’m not 100% white, they always try to manage how they say things to me so they don’t offend me, or they talk about enjoying different parts of Asian culture. Sometimes, when we get an Asian kid at the child care center that doesn’t speak English, they look at me when they ask if anyone “speaks Chinese”.

    On the flip side, I wasn’t really raised in a particularly Asian environment…aside from having rice and kim chee at every meal (haha), so many Asian people I meet treat me like just another white girl when I show interest in their culture. I never really feel like I belong with the people I most identify myself with.

  87. Man I really am into asian guys (and it doesnt matter if they’re korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, or whatever other race I may encounter). The thing is I am a Puerto Rican girl, and i play the piano in a symphonic band. One of the other pianists is Korean and i really like him but problem is everytime he come over to the piano or wherever im sitting i have Korean music playing!! Its not like I’m only obsessed with Korea. I Have German, French, Japanese and Korean music on my playlists but this guy always comes over when im playing or listening to something Korean. It Drives me nuts because i dont want to be seen as a fanatic. . . I recently started playing music that i fell in love with when watching a korean drama. One day i open my sheet music book and those particular sheets are showing. At that same moment this guy sits next to me and reads the name on the sheet. He started asking me why i have Korean sheet music and if i watched dramas. I told him that i liked the song and that i enjoyed korean and japanese dramas, but it seemed liked he found it strange that i would watch them.

    I am not at all obsessed with Korea. I listen to their popular music and watch some of their dramas but i have more of a cultural interest in Japan. Japan was the reason for my interest in music and i grew up watching anime as a child. As i got older my interest in Japan grew and i have an interest in the culture and practices of the japanese people. My plan since childhood was to go to japan to work on my music career and possibly live my life there happily. I am involved in fundraising work for victims of sexual assult and i wanted to expand my fundraising to the Victims of the earthquake in Japan.

    I have a passion but i dont see it as an obsession. But i dont want to be seen as a creeper by the guy i like!!

  88. Hehe, this has made me smile! A friend forwarded this to me, because she thought I’d laugh… So anyway. I’m a British, half Polish – half Irish girl. I became interested in Asian culture a very long time ago, and chatted to Asians online, helping them with their English. Along the way, I got chatting to a lovely Chinese-Thai guy. He told me one day he was fascinated by my personality, and that I am me, and soooo on. Oh, and that I was dead interested in Asian culture, but I wasn’t ‘one of those crazyyy nutters totally obsessed with Asian guys!’ haha… This just made me laugh, honestly. But anyway, I’m glad you wrote this! It’s BRUTALLY HONEST! People these days need this kind of honesty! 😀

  89. Well I was only browsing the ole internet and fell onto this blog, what can say is I found this totally hilarious and somewhat empathized. Im an Irish girl and when Americans bear the fortune of visiting our little island they stare at us like we are an animal in a zoo especially when we wear a school uniform. They speak slow English and ask for us to point them to the local pub, im an English speaking Irish girl who’s only in school, I think your looking for the drunk illiterate around ever corner we have. As an anime enthusiast I somewhat admire aspects of the Asian culture but that isn’t to say I haven’t an opinion of myself and dislike certain things. Like

  90. I was curious to see what you looked like because you seemed to forget to stop bragging about how so many girls were trying to hit on you. Then to my dismay, I saw this young man who doesn’t even come close to being good looking. Just my opinion dear.

  91. Hey wow I really loved your article and I found it really true. Luckily I never made that ignorant move when talking to an Asian guy as well as any other nationalities and I never will. It’s nice to know how people feel about this sort of thing. lol

    -Thanx and great article!!

  92. lol loved this it’s funny how guilty some of my friends are of this. I actually refrain from talking to some guys because i’m terrified that i’ll come off as the girl with yellow fever even though i don’t act like that lol it’s so…yeah -_-;;;

  93. This is the funniest post i ever seen in my life. Lmao, but you are telling the truth. I really like this post. I am also interested in Asian men but honestly this kind seem like threwing yourself at a men. No matter what culture i could never do that. I am really shy anyway…:)

  94. OMFG!! I totally feel u right now. ☆ in my head ☆ “Just cuz i’m part japanese and i look more japanese than anything else, u don’t have tease me like that” *sob* But u really just made my day after reading this. ε:

  95. * My thoughts again * Can’t they stop it all ready? I don’t know what ” ching chong” means. * Seriously * And those girls that u were talking about just need 2 stop. It’s making the rest of us black girls look bad. ( yes i know that i said ” the rest of us black girls” I’m black, native american, caucasian, japanese. 50% beautiful and 50% intelligent, i get it from my daddy ζ:I know that we Asians r beautiful (: but they all can’t have us.

  96. This is really funny and while I can’t say from personal experience that it’s true, I can totally see what you’re saying. Unfortunately it also means I’m out of luck in the Asian guy department. I’m learning Korean, love/adore SHINee, and dream of traveling to Korea for a year or so. But I will say that I don’t go up to Asian people and try to talk to them in my pactically nonexistent Korean or assume they like k-pop. My best friend is Chinese American and would think I’m insane if she knew I liked k-pop. Oh well, even if I’m out of luck in the guy department at least I know that the closet k-pop fan me is really me, not just some wannabe aiming to impress.

    • Just be yourself and don’t worry that people judging you ,, Folks will judge no matter what, so you might as well celebrate you.

  97. I’m a white chick. My bf is Taiwanese. It’s been nearly a year and every time I look at him my heart stops at how handsome he is. I shudder to think how well he will age as I begin to go grey and get spider veins and wrinkles while he stays virtually ageless until he is 80… Like most men, lucky bastards. Physically he is gorgeous to me. And mentally and emotionally he is perfect for me. Am I a creeper?

    • Nah, you’re not a creeper. Men feel the same way about the woman of their dreams. Does that make us creepers too? Haha.

      I will say that there is the image that men look better as they age (wiser?) and women don’t, which is unfortunate given the emphasis that our society places on a female’s looks.

  98. I don’t think it’s fair to box people in into cultural moulds, making them out to be weird or odd because they don’t happen to like what they’re stereotypically supposed to like. Japanese guys shouldn’t be into hip hop or rap or dress like rappers they see on TV. Who says? Its their prerogative. Its their way of self expression. I’m into East Asian entertainment simply because its ENTERTAINING. I’m into East Asian culture because its different and interesting. No ands ifs or buts about it. I want to learn Korean and Japanese, because I think they’re beautiful languages but also because it’ll make catching up on all my entertainment so much easier. I sometimes use Korean, Japanese or Chinese phrases I hear on the shows I watch but I don’t believe that makes me a poser, most of the time its quite unintentional or directed at someone who I know will know what I’m saying.
    I find it quite ironic that very many people casually toss in French and Spanish words(hola, au revoir, oui, non merci) into their everyday conversation and there’s no issue made out of it, but randomly say “nihao”(Hello in Chinese) and you’re labelled the (insert non-asian race) boy/girl who’s “obsessed” with Asian Culture. I like a vast majority of other things, I’ve always been into foreign cultures, its just fascinating learning about how other people live, foods they eat etc.
    Lastly, an interest in East Asian culture(especially Japan, Korea and China) stems, for most people, from the fact that its just interesting stuff, I mean who doesn’t like ninjas and kung fu and taekwondo and the myriad of other Asian stuff that’s out there. They are just bad ass.

    The world is changing, people aren’t living in their tiny cultural bubbles anymore because of increased ease of communication(the interenet is an amazing thing) and I think thats a good thing. I think its fantastic that people want to go out there and find out more about other cultures. I think its fantastic that people have an interest in Languages that 20 years ago no one even cared about learning.

    I guess Ranier’s point was that he dislike girls who only want to get to know him because you’re Filipino/East Asian? Fair enough. Can’t really argue with that as that’s what he feels.

  99. I KNOW! I put a fucking picture as my profile on this asian website. and then they ask me, Which Kdrama/Kpop group is that guy in. The guy wasn’t a Korean Celebrity, it was a Chinese Guy…. *FACEPALM*

  100. Hey there… I know I’m uber late,but here is my opinion on this matter.
    I am a black teenager who likes Korean music and dramas,and am attracted to Asian men a little more than usual because I prefer cuter guys,and about 80% of the Asians I’ve ever seen have been simply adorable. Just my preference not like “I MUST HAVE ASIAN CHIBI CUTE BOYFRIEND SO I CAN SAY ‘I HAVE ASIAN CHIBI CUTE BOYFRIEND'”.
    If I’m having a conversation,I may blurt out little Korean terms like “daebak”,”aigoo”,or “aish” (big win,oh my goodness, or damn) because I’m studying the language and I watch he dramas often and using these terms is currently like second nature to me. I will be honest though,I only listen to Kpop (unless my friends show me something else) because I LOVE pop music,and Korean pop music is very catchy and energetic to me,while I think the pop I have heard is either too high pitched, to altered,or too terrible to bear.
    I will say I like Asian men,but I would only have a conversation in Korean with anyone if I (or they) first ask, “Do you know Korean?” because, I have to practice,my Korean is terrible.
    As for any other races, I’m interested in them too,just I have limited access to these other cultures while I can just hop on to YouTube and type in 4 letters/numbers and get material from at least 5 Korean groups.
    If I do meet a Korean person,I will tell them that I like Kpop,but not dwell on it too ong because they might hate Kpop (i.e. someone telling me they love R&B and then ranting about,idk, Usher for 20 minutes). Oh and to Asian men and women, please consider that maybe these people who are ignorant of your culture are trying to learn by being daring enough to talk to you. Originally I didn’t know much about Korea,or any of Asia, until I made some Asian friends. They thought me some Korean (even though they were mostly from Malaysia and Indonesia),about what they knew of Korean culture, and about their own culture. Honestly,it took me a good week to talk to the Asian girls in my class this semester and now one of them is my best friend (the other moved away) because she told me about her culture, and I found it interesting how similar and different it was from my own (CambodianxVietnamese).
    Sometimes it’s not all you know “I love Asia because of Kpop”, and maybe “I’m interested in other cultures, so please share your wisdom”. Unless you are like me,then it’s “I like Kpop,I will never not like Kpop. And the only reason I know everyone’s name in every band I listen to is because I talk about it sometimes,and I’d like to know who the hell I’m making referrences to.”
    One final comment,you say “BE. YOUR. DAMN. SELF,” but what if yourself is someone who watches Korean drama more than “The Real Housewives”,only listens to Kpop, and is a person who will curse at you in Cambodian and Korean if you ever insult them? What about the people like that? It’s not always obsession. Obsession is depriving yourself of sleep to watch a drama or listen to Kpop, only having Asian friends, and being willing to fight someone if they say something like “Why does everyone in B.A.P. have blonde hair? It’s a little strange.” What you say is obsession I say is love that’s not being enriched. That crazy brick picture was a fail… Probably B.B cream gone wrong because she didn’t know how or why it was used. I’m gonna stop now because… well my fingers hurt. Megadoi (Cambo Love,inside joke) and I’m out.

  101. God that was funny, I didn’t think that I’d start liking Asian guys until like the 8th or 9th grade….it’s not because of their “Asian” culture because, come on, most of the them are straight up american ‘sweater, jeans, kicks’ Asian. They probably catch my eye a lot because i take honors classes and you know where that’s going….

  102. I really like this article. There are a lot of people who are Asian but say they hate white girls who “think” they can dance to K-Pop and sing in Korean and so on.

    I am eastern European (living in Australia), 16 years old, and ever since I was young I’ve always watched Animes, read Mangas and played games like Final Fantasy. I can read Japanese and sing Japanese songs because of this and I know a few words and phrases from watching Dramas. I cosplay at AVCON etc.

    In the past 2 years I’ve been increasingly interested in K-Pop and I have SHINee and BEAST on my iPod and so on and I’m able to dance the beginning tutting dance of Lucifer etc. I’m not the type who says these kinds of things straight out like you mentioned in the beginning of the article but I will have conversations with my Asian (girl) friends because it’s something we all enjoy and have in common.

    They are from Singapore and things like that, but when they do things like “try to dance K-Pop and sing in Korean” nobody hates on them simply because they’re also Asian even if they aren’t Korean.

    I don’t TRY to sing in Korean when I know I can’t, if the song is Fiction by BEAST I’ll just sing the Japanese lyrics instead.

    I really do like Asian boys style, from their hair to their slender bodies and the way they dress respectfully (or in other words, not daggy but nicely, they take care of their appearance) and (mostly) they don’t come off as arrogant like other boys from other nationalities can. The rest is obviously dependent on their personality, not just looks.

    Even though I live in a multi-cultural country I still worry that Asian boys will not be attracted to me but what worries me worse is that some Asians may look down on me for being into such things.

    Even though sometimes I find myself almost saying simple words/phrases like “so” and “um” and “are you okay?” and “see ya” etc in Japanese I stop myself because I think it would make me look try hard?

    I’ve always wished I was Korean or Japanese in all honesty!

    • While writing that^
      I realized I have “Up & Down” by SHINee playing, I have a youtube video of Taemin open, I have Code Breaker Chapter 160 open and Faster than a Kiss Chapter 53 open because they both came out recently.

      Also I draw Manga.

      • Don’t worry. I am sure you will find an Asian guy that likes you. The important thing to keep in mind is not to let your image of Asian men as Kpop or Jpop rockers limit you from seeing that Asian men come in varied shapes and forms. At the end of the day, most Asian men in your country will probably want to be seen as Australians first, no different from their white peers.

  103. Hey! So I agree with you wholeheartedly! I am a white high school girl and I have to say, I enjoy Asian cultures. However I don’t take it overboard like many people do. There are girls at my school completely OBSESSED with stuff like manga, anime, K-pop, and other Asian pop culture things. Sure, I enjoy these things too and am very interested in learning more about Asian cultures (especially Chinese and Japanese), but not I am not obsessed. I do find Asian men attractive, but I also find white, black, hispanic, and other races attractive as well. My point is, I agree with everything said in this blog. In my opinion and the opinions of the Asian guys I know, being OBSESSED with a culture isn’t going to make people of that culture be more attracted to you. Be your self and just go with it.the guy or girl you meet won’t be right for you determined by their race. So just take life as it comes and you will be your happiest!

  104. From a black women who is into interracial relationships, I would like to thank you for posting this. True… Asian men do dislike women who have an Asian fetish… However, as an open minded black woman raised on the complete opposite side of the spectrum as your typical “black American” (and let me add that I am very aware, proud, and supportive of my black side), I believe the focus of this post should be that “people dislike ignorant flirtation from the opposite sex”. Just like the example you gave of an Asian messaging a black woman using assumed stereotype language, that very much happens to me ALL the time… From whites, Hispanics, and especially Asians… “hip hop asians” (what I call them) to me take the “hood mannerism” to an overboard high… Just like the black “anime Chics” do to you… So as far your topic paying more focus to black women, I feel Asian men “can” be equally as ignorant… Now as far as you calling out ignorant WOMEN as a whole who need to THEMSELVES and stop trying to be something they’re not, I agree with you wholeheartedly. <3. Good luck with this post. Very informative, however very one-sided in my opinion. Thank you for posting.

  105. Your Filipino also?!? Same here! *high five. And yea I have to agree with you on that stuff but with guys. They all think I’m Chinese (even though I’m a bit darker than a Chinese person). One even went to far trying to learn mandarin so he could impress me and it didn’t work. It actually sounded funny and a bit racis. He was asking me if I wanted to go ad get fried rice later and I was like “just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I’ll only eat fried rice you idiot!”. And my friend almost never understands why i get offended when she calls me chinese or Korean and she wonders why I especially get offended when she says I have chinky eyes! What!?! Sometimes I hate those stereotypes. But unfortunately almost 90% of them are true.

  106. This is hilarious and sadly true. But atleast (some) people know what Filipino is; nobody knows what Hmong is, and I have to spend hours trying to tell someone I’m not Mongolian, or Chinese, or Thai, or Laotian, or any other Asian ethnicity you can think of which is extremely annoying because even after you tell them, they still categorize me as Chinese just cause it’s “easier”.

  107. I know just what your saying. I am Haitian, Cherokee Indian, Irish, African, White, and Chinese but I look more black then anything and I am attracted to other races besides my own and my friends and family call me weird for that and I get messages saying “Hey, sexy I love blacks girl” or “Can you be my black girlfriend, I’ve never had one before and would love for you to be mine” oh and this is the most recent “You’re the cutest black girl I’ve ever seen” I mean I’m flattered that they think I’m attractive, but they just look at my skin and classify me for that without getting to know me as a person

  108. Thank you for a remarkable article. I had to laugh out loud because it is so very true! I went to a Christian college in South Florida and 9 times out of 10 I was always the only black woman within our groups. As a matter of fact, I was the ONLY black female out of my senior class that graduated. So I often got the comments “You’re not like the black girls on T.V.” I wanted to ask them what station were they watching? Or my personal pet peeve was when caucasian males approached me and talked ‘hood’. Just because i’m from New York doesn’t mean I want to ‘holla back’. Men of other cultures have approached me with odd pick up lines like “You one sexy black girl” or “I love me some chocolate”. I don’t know whether I should say thank you or knock the hell out of them. My skin does not define me, why can’t I be just a sexy “woman” instead?

  109. Haha it’s funny how most girls in here are black. I always thought that black girls looked down on Asians since most of the ones I know diss white guys lol. Anyways, I’m Mexican and I’m a fan of the Asian culture (mostly of countries such as Japan, Korea and Taiwan) but I don’t like all Asians. I could actually give a list of Asian people I dislike lol. One of the reasons why I love the Asian culture is because of the languages that use symbols which I think are beautiful. I also like the customs and most of all the humility. I feel that if other countries practiced such forms of respect there wouldn’t be so many problems. Here in the states, most kids grow up learning swear words and talking about sex, which is sad. I would like to end up with an Asian guy so that he could share his customs and traditions with me so that I could share mine with him. So far the Asians that have asked me out I didn’t share any common interests with so I turned them down. I don’t know if I have a fetish but I try my best to treat Asian guys according to their personality rather than their race. I wonder if there are fob Asians who would date Mexicans because it seems that most only date Asian or White girls oh well..

  110. I have to admit I have just recently developed a preference for East Asian boys. however I would never go as far as to start speaking Korean/Japanese/Mandarin to me; the same way I wouldn’t want anyone to approach speaking “O’ Ghetto”. Its a matter of appreciating someone for their great personality and sexiness…not neccessarily their racial background =/

    Funny and extremely insightful article by the way!

  111. Hi,
    I feel like a complete idiot now after reading this post. I like asian men but i am not a fanatic. Nor do I soelely date one ethnicity. I have dated one asian man before but he grew up in the states so there were nnot many cultural differences. I recently met an asian guy who is from China. He is going to college in the town that I live in and has lived here for only two years. Our communication is more difficult due to language barriers. we are to have dinner in a few days. I am mainlu worried he will think that I am not cultured enough. Is this something I should legitimately be worried about? Ps. I am going to friend request you on facebook! Please add. I promise I won’t make any hurtful comments.

  112. i kinda get how you feel on this one.. as far as i know, im not actually asian. like, at all. i am mixed white and black, but i seem to have a lot of “asian” traits, the most obvious being monolids, eye shape, hair and the shape of my face etc. because of this, i ALWAYS get comments like, ‘hey. asian girls are cute.’ or ‘CHING CHONG! i can speak your language!’ which even though im not asian is kinda rude and it annoys the crap outta me. and you’re right, it IS ignorant. no one believes me when i try and tell them im not asian either -____-‘. ive even had other asian men try and get up close to me because they assumed i was asian. i guess for some it would be awesome but i find it kind of sad really.

  113. Pingback: The K-pop Effect: Breaking Stereotypes & Creating Fetishes | seoulbeats

  114. This was posted one year ago today, wow. Happy Birthday post. Thanks for living so many of us can laugh.

    Just the kind of pick-me-up I needed. 🙂 Very entertaining. I’m Hmong and know tons of Hmong girls (and guys for that matter) who are exactly as you described. I do, however, understand that their Korean influence stems from a lack of interest in the Hmong culture or embarrassment of being Hmong. Doesn’t seem like a valid point, but doesn’t matter to me if they feel our ethnicity is insignificant.

  115. Once my (white) ex-boyfriend told me I had an Asian fetish.. I felt really offended, cuz at that time (and even now) I was deeply in love with a Japanese guy.

    It’s true that I generally feel more attracted to Asian guys and especially Japanese guys. (since I’m learning Japanese) But that doesn’t mean I’m after every Japanese guy I know. I’m looking for someone I can truly love.
    So calling it a ‘fetish’ really offends me. (I’m not referring to your article, but to the people who simply claim it’s a fetish)
    I’m glad you notice the difference between Asia-obsessed people and Asia-interested people.

    However, even with the freaky, obsessed people I don’t think you can (always) call it a fetish. It’s hard to get an Asian boyfriend. And girls who don’t have a lot of experience with chatting with men, just don’t know how to approach them. So they say inappropriate things, but later they’ll realize that it’s the wrong way to do so. (and I bet they don’t actually want to rape you! 😉 )
    But of course, I understand it’s annoying.. I also hate it when guys abruptly approach me in clubs or something. It has nothing to do with my ethnicity, but I guess I’d feel about the same way if that would be the case..

    (Note: I actually kinda experience the contrary.. XD Asian men tend to approach me cuz they know I’m interested in Asian men.. But too bad for them, I’m quite picky ^_^v)

    (I’m sorry for my bad English.. ^_^v)

    • Hi there! How are you? Hope you are doing good and if not, then know that I care and please remember to never give up and to keep believing in yourself! Do you think that i don’t see past skin color? Because I do, I just think that Asian cultures are interesting but i would never just date an Asian guy because he was Asian. That wouldn’t be right and it wouldn’t be a true relationship! Just wanna know what you think! Bye and have an amazing day not just today, but all of the days of your life! God bless!

  116. It really doesn’t seem to matter what you say, these people just eat it up. Even half of these comments seem to make sly passes at you. It’s either funny or sad. I haven’t decided yet. You should post something outrageous and i bet many people would agree with you. Do it for science!
    Your article was entertaining, In my whole life I’ve only ever been interested in one asian girl, I was interested because she was extremely intelligent, beautiful and she had a great sense of humor. She was Vietnamese. We lost contact a long time ago. I hate it when women and men get fetishistic over race it devalues them as human beings in my eyes, I deal with idiots daily but these particular ones are a special subtype. I honestly believe that when white people try to be Asian it’s down right offensive, hell, I’d be offended. I find calling them weaboos or or something similar helps.

    • Hey! How are you? Hope you are doing well, and if not, know that I care and don’t give up and keep holding on! Things do get better!! But anyway, do you think I’m fetish? I don’t mean to be. I’m just interested in their cultures I mean I don’t like someone just because they are Asian and I don’t dislike them because of that either. Just wanted to see what you think! Goodbye and have an awesome day not just today but all the days of your life! God bless!

  117. I dunno if you’ll read it but this post is awesome i had great few minuts reading this note.. some comments were really funny!(in a positive way) but why you only mention black women(don’t wanna be offensive :)) well anyway i half agree with ya 😉 byee *^^*

  118. I’m a non-asian female, that finds Asian males attractive. I’m into K-pop, J-pop and J-Rock, as well as German music, Italian, and English, even some Russian in there. I like going to Anime Conventions, and I like cosplaying. However, that is how I am. I was interested in it since 8th grade, and have been since. I’m an artist,I love to sing, dance to dances, and surf the internet and play games. So, Really, you say asian guys don’t like girls with a fetish, but really, if that’s how they are (I don’t have a ‘fetish’ I just find Asian males (and some females) attractive), then that’s following what you said. To be yourself yeah?

  119. 16 year old European girl currently living in a multicultural country and attending an International High School which has, perhaps, given me more exposure to different cultures and what not, although prior to this when I was quite young I was interested in Japanese Culture and still am, among many other cultures. Having an interest in cultures is great, I know a Korean boy who wants to learn my language, I find it endearing, and I also speak Korean with my Singaporean friend (we use it as a middle ground language when we don’t want others to know what we’re talking about because I can’t speak Mandarin and she can’t speak my language).

    I think a Black woman being interested in a Chinese man is great.
    I think a Hispanic man being interested in a Australian woman is great.
    And so on, regardless of the two nationalities there is no difference.
    A relationship is a relationship. We’re all humans, not Humans and Asians or Humans and Blacks (I apologize if that isn’t the correct term, please correct me if it isn’t).

    People have to start being realistic. You know if someone has a fetish it means that they are basing their judgement of that race on what the media has portrayed to them e.g K-Pop.

    “I want a Korean Boyfriend!” whilst watching Rain perform his shirtless dance in Love Song
    “I want a Korean Girlfriend!” whilst watching SNSD’s Genie

    Let’s be honest, there will always be bad people, people with foul personalities, not-so-attractive people and so forth in every nation in the world.

  120. Hey everyone!! How are you? I hope you are doing well and if not, know that I care and keep holding on and never give up! Things do get better! Anyway, this article has truth in it. You shouldnt date a guy just because he is Asian, or white or just for their race! In fact, it shouldnt be about their race at all! It’s about who THEY are on the INSIDE! It’s great that you like their race and culture, but date them for who they are!!! Also, I am a African American, and I, yes, am obsessed with Asians cultures, but particularly Korean, Japanese, and Korean, and as well as Thai, but I do especially like the Korean culture a little bit more. Although this article offended me just a little bit. I mean, it’s true, but they didn’t have to say it so mean. Maybe I’m just overreacting because I am very sensitive to certain things and I do get offended easily so yeah but I do wish I was Asian instead of black because I heard that a lot of Asians don’t like blacks and my mom tells me the same thing about every other race, although I do NOT believe that “All Asians feel that way (racist) toward black people,” as she said because that is racist and I am not racist and I never won’t to be because I believe that everyone is equal and special! My number goals in life are to serve God and help others. I love helping people and making them happy! I feel really bad when someone’s upset or going through something and I can’t even sleep when I know someone is going through a rough time and I try to help the best I can and I always end up crying everytime someone is upset! I want to help people and make sure that they have the best lives ever! But anyway, I feel insecure in my skin and wished that people wouldn’t judge me because of that. I also feel like if someone who was not my race dated me, it would make me feel more loved because they are dating me for who I am, and not judging me because of skin color or race. But don’t get me wrong, any guy that’s my race or not my race would be fine with me! As long as there nice, kind, gentle, sweet, caring, and awesome, and as long as I love them, then, like I said, is fine with me! But yeah I am very obsessed with the culture and I’ve been reading and studying about it! My favorite Kpop artists are Girls Generation, TaeTiSeo, Super Junior, f(x), and BoA as well as many others. My favorite J-pop is Perfume, Crystal Kay, Buono, Koda Kumi, Capsule, and others as well! I also love Anime and Asian drama, but mostly Korean drama and I love the show called A Gentleman’s Dignity!!! But what do you guys think? Do you think I am nice? And do you think that an Asian guy would like me? Like I said, my number one goals in life are serving God and helping others (& I know this is random but I DO know, more than anything, that not all Asians are Korean!) and I also like singing, and I write my own songs, I’m learning to play guitar, I also am trying to learn Korean and Japanese, but Korean first and my favorite subjects in school (I’m in 10th grade) are History and English and Math, but my least favorite is science! My Fav animals are birds and I just have so much love and passion for helping EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!! I want to be able to love someone and the best part of a relationship is that you get to love someone else, not the fact that they love you, which is nice and they should, but it’s about having love for them and always trying to supply all their needs and make them feel happy and loved!! Oh and yeah my iPod is full of kpop and Jpop and pop and rock and country and well you get the point – I’m a music lover and I listen and like ALL kinds of music, but my favorites are Christian, Pop, and Asian!! Well, that’s it for now but what do you think? Let me know! Thanks for reading and I’ll try to write more if I can! Goodbye, have a good day, and God bless! I hope that if anyone of you are going through something or is upset, please stay strong and never give up!! I really DO care and you will be in my prayers!! (and also that part in the article about stop trying to be Asian kind of hurt my feelings, but at least you like me for me and want me to just being myself so I guess I should thank you) But anyway, I hope everyone has a good day but not just today but for all the days of your life!! Goodbye! Lots of love, Christa.

  121. This is so hilarious! I was laughing the whole time reading. The pictures just add to the humor. I agree with this, it would be awkward if a non-black male or even if a black male talked to me like in the example. Being yourself is key and much more attractive.


  122. It’s about damn time somebody wrote about this. I’m so sick of people assuming that if a person is Asian, then they are fracken Korean or Japanese. Like those are the only people who reside in entire continent of Asia. If you happen to like Asian men then good for you. But the key word here is “men.” Yes, they are categorized as “Asian” but they are men like every other person with an XY chromosome, and they should be treated as such.

    • Actually, I’ve found that people assume anyone of Asian descent is Chinese, not Japanese or Korean. I think it’s because China is the most populous nation and they are the most populous Asian group in the USA [if you reside in USA].

  123. i have to admit i am very interested in all kinds of culture like: japanese,asian,korean and ect. but thats because im young and want to learn about things i haven’t known about…im not black but im mixed half black half white…also 13 years old and i understand alot about grounupy stuff…im always around people who cuss alot too so…i understand alot of things…but what i really want to do is go to japan…i want to go so bad…not because all people there are cute…but beacause THIS PLACE IS SO BORING!!!no one here hangs out with me to be my friend! there only friends with me because im very talented at drawing and they always have me do there art homework!but when its time for a break at school im always left alone in the dark corner quietly….but in japan i could be myself and start all over! :)and no one would know i was a shy girl who didn’t talk at all…(sorry for all that reading… but all thats true..)

  124. it seems like all the girls on here are trying to act like somethin else all innocent and perky…trying to act pretty so people could go out with them…i think its stupid…i act like myself all the time…and look where it got me…4 people asks me out at school and i reject them beacuse..(im too young to date..ha hahaa^-^)its almost my birthday…have you wondered what seeing a ghost in person is like…scary!ive witnessed a ghost and it scared the crap outa wanna know what happened.? the t.v at my friends house tured on by itself and it was barney…and i saw in the back ground behind barney was….a black figure…its obvious what i did..scream and run like hell !!! but i like to be scared do you know what else is scary stalkers…i had one before…in 6th grade and still have one now the same one….in 8th grade…(sorry again for all this reading..but i don’t have a therapist to talk to anymore…so i sometimes get too carried away..sorry..)

  125. Hmm….This makes me wonder if i have an Asian fetish. I really like your post you are very realistic about the issue. Would you consider me in having an Asian fetish? I like Anime, Asian Dramas and Kpop (which is how I saw an Asian young male for the 1st time as my neighborhood is Black/Hispanic). I thought that Asian eyes and hair were really beautiful and liked a lot of their features/common personality traits (small features, how many of them tend to be shy.etc) But i don’t think i would go as far as doing what that other did to you on fb. (considering i’m shy as well, I’d probably add you in hopes that you’d make the 1st move.>.<). I like asian fashion and makeup (like yesstyle for example). since i have what i call an asian body type (5"2, A cup, 110 pounds), i think these clothes suit me well (well expect for my extremely curly hair and hispanic bum that is a litttle large.) But i don't know if that makes me a wanna be asian. Will i date someone just because they are asian? I don't think so. But seeing as how you said asian guys wouldn't date a non-asian who likes asian culture, i guess I'll never find out. sigh.

  126. I totally get your point (excellent hypothetical conversation btw… actually until a few weeks ago I didn’t know that fried chicken is like a “black people thing”– anyways!)

    But dangit, sometimes this kind of thing makes me feel bad for being an Asian girl who loves jrock just because Japanese music scene is so exciting and often the musical arrangements are more intricate than rock music elsewhere, it’s like a box of lunch shaped like Doraemon that has like 25 different ingredients in it.

    But why should I feel bad? I should’t feel bad! I want to cry (p_q)

    k thanks bye

  127. Lol your so funny yeah I’m a white girl that likes aian guys butt in truth for me it all comes down to the Guy not his race and lol i don’t really care or k-pop or j-rock i just like Asian guys cause you tend to be hotter to me :3 I’ve been scared by girls like that its not fun

  128. Lmao your to funny! I know what you mean I am half french canadian and my ex bf was like you must love hockey,beer, maple trees and be scared of the dark. ha ha ha so funny i’ve heard almost ever canadian joke. But he was totally serious he even asked me to help build an iglu.

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  131. I love this post haha! I was just reading in my free time but, honestly. . .sometimes I just feel like I don’t fit in because I’m Japanese, Portuguese, black, and Indian. I look more black/japanese than anything! It really gets on my nerves when someone comes up to me and tells me “i’m beautiful for a black girl” or “i’m not normally into black girls” some people make racist jokes like “go eat your fried chicken” (WHICH I don’t even like, ewwww.) and “go drink your cool aid” I’m am NOT from the ghetto, I’m a little darker than all my other brothers and they look more asian/hispanic then I do…i just look black and asian. it really bugs me. They should just piss off about it.

  132. something i’m actually concerned about is the guy i’m interested in IS korean and he knows i like KPOP…but i don’t like him BECAUSE he’s korean, i like him for so many reasons; for who he is. but i’m afraid now he’ll think i like him just because he’s korean.

    and most of us KPOP fans are well aware that Asians don’t all come from Korea or Japan XD

  133. Wow i’m really sorry that happen. Some people only think to impress instead of acting like whom or what they are about. You’ll run into better people and then at some point the right one. I should be proud that you shrug it off strongly then acting on it rudely. Besides that, it brings a good point to girls that it doesn’t matter to dress to impress or act how you think you should act. You just be yourself.

  134. The post it’s really cool and everything, but to actually refer to someone as a a black girl is way to racist, even worst than the girl who is stalking you. She is just ignorant but that’s normal 90 % of people in the world are like this,


    Skin tone does not have any effect in this case –.–“

  135. I agree with your blog post, I speak Spanish and people automatically assumed i’m Mexican.WTF not every one that speaks Spanish is Mexican. No offense.

  136. Ever since I can remember I have always been attracted to asian guys and the culture too. But now I’m scared that I won’t be able to find an asian guy who will be attracted to me because I have quite alot of k-pop, j-pop on my iPod, not just by itself I have whole different range of music that I like listening to eg: hip-hop, rap, techno, pop, rock (but not heavy medal), little bit of country, and some classical. What should I do?? =(

  137. Wow 0_o Well, I guess I’m taken aback by this post as I have not encountered a male (an Asian male for that matter), talking about how probably most Asian males feel about how girls (non ASIAN) that try to be Asian in order to get with Asian males, is annoying. I don’t protest either as I would find it annoying, if I were male. But I have to commend you for speaking out for the Asian males throughout the globe as most of them are probably too shy and think that they amount to nothing in the attraction radar of foreign women. (>_<)

  138. Stumbled onto this and now my stomache hurts from laughing so hard. Tis one way to feel happy ahaha.. You knw’ & the sad truth is most girls/women like that actually react that way lol. How ever it’s vis-versa men or women. It’s the same haha trust me.

  139. Finally the truth thevsame goes forvasian women I’m mixed with black and Asian and I hate that I get both stereotypes from guys trying to date me. I just want someone to say hey my names…wanna grab coffee? I’ll wait for that day forever.

  140. I have a friend who has an annoying fetish with asian men c: i mean its whatever xD i cant say anything really because i like any race to be exact… but the fact is she wants a asian man no other race just asian and if he isnt up to her standereds she wouldnt look at him twice which is sad she thinks because she has blue green eyes every guy wants her i mean she says shes been single all her life, but really? I mean she more likely didnt know guys liked her because she says she would never ever like a white or black guy expecially mexicans/hispanics because she doesn’t like the culture. Now that offended me xD because im half mexican and i love mt culture…we feed people hahah anyways my point is she has a fetish and when she sees a ‘cute asian guy’ oh she goes crazy if he looks or is Korean she talks none stop about them… it gets annoying at times. … i havent had a fetish with a race yet really xD ths is very true though… i loved reading this 🙂

  141. LOL omg this was amazing!!! I laughed throughout the whole thing!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! ❤ 😀 You really made me feel a lot more secure when approaching Asian men. 😀 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

  142. Bahahahaha!!!!! Thanks for posting this. 🙂 My favorite part was when you changed the scenario of someone trying to talk to a black girl by using street slang and mentioning fried chicken #idied…. Keep it up!

  143. Hi, sorry but what is K-Pop? I’m half English and South African and my boyfriend is half Japanese and looks more Japanese then South African and I have no idea what that is? although I may like the calture but I don’t particularly enjoy most of the music (no affence, but he females sound like little girls trying to be cute). Yes I may have a thing for asian men, but wouldn’t go as far as changing myself to get one, I mean I’d find it irritating speaking in a little girls voice *bleh!* I think maybe people see the anime and manga and think that’s how asian males like their females speaking with high pitch voices and chasing after them

  144. hey man, this is a fantantic blog! I am white and now I am talking to a filipino man. he means my life and I don’t want to lose him. He loves me as well and we have a wonderful relationship. But i wanna know how to make him love me forever, like what can I give gim? do i need to clean his room? or something, i dunno if you understand what I mean :S

  145. You are quite right. People like that bther me. Im french and west islander and im also mixed with alot of things. And when idiot boys try to talk to me they try to tell me how much they love my accent and try to change so i’ll find them appelling, and they just end up being annoying. Some of them even have the nerve to call me oreo. Im also very much into animals and asain culture so if you get where im coming from you’ll see that i very much understand what you go threw

  146. Ever since I was little I’ve been attracted to Asian guys. I am interested in Kpop, kdramas, etc. but don’t really show it off. I actually fear admitting that I’m into Asian guys more than white guys (my own race), because I feel it will be perceived as me being an Asian-obsessed nerd that skips around saying konnichiwa or anyonghaseyo. For a time I was actually just that, although thankfully I grew out of it. I’d think it was cool if a guy was Korean just because I’m studying the language, but I don’t have any special interest in Korean guys. I’ve seen some hot ass Viets. Just saying. Overall while I’m interested in Korean language and Asian guys in general, I fear looking like a wannabe Asian. Yes, I find Asians hot as hell, but it irritates me when girls want ONLY an Asian guy.

  147. I’m an Asian guy. I guess I never really took this type of stuff as offensive. I mean if a girl comes up to me and say things like ” I love K-POP!” I would just take that as her trying to relate to me. I don’t get offended or anything (maybe cuz I’m Korean?). Maybe Asian guys in the West and the East coasts have these girls come at them saying Annyung-ha-se-yo all the time? I live in the South, and very few non-Asians know K-POP and what not.

  148. Oh gosh this was funny. I can’t really remember how I got here. But it had something to do with fetishes. First, I love Asian dramas – they have a beginning middle and an end and don’t go on for friggin 25 years. But I admit to being a bit embarrassed, that someone will think I have some sort of weird Asian fetish. And then pissed off that I should have to feel embarrassed. The damn things are fun. It’s not like people in Asia aren’t watching non Asian movies. Anyway, I remember now, the reason I got here was that my husband is an airbrush artist and every once in a while he is asked to do a really beautiful Islander, Asian, Latin woman, African American woman in a pose that is kind of …ehhhh. The sort of thing, that as a woman, I find to be a rather insulting. But often it is that race asking for it. My first reaction is usually – Oh thank God, not a pale skinned bald baby. A total night mare to get the skin tone right. Then it’s – yikes! Don’t let anyone see you doing this, you’ll look like a creepy white guy with a fetish. That is so sad. His painting fetish is actually old men. Loves all those lines and wrinkles. But we have gotten so conditioned to be anxious not to look like we have a creepy interest in the “other” – that we forget it’s just another human, and remain focused on the otherness – which just feeds into what you’re complaining about. There’s no way to win this.

    I looked at your pictures, if you were ugly, no matter what race, women wouldn’t have any interest. Try being a woman with big breasts. Talk about strange fetishes. But yeah, it must be annoying, The way I see it, is the internet is allowing many non-Asian Americans to view Asian pop culture for the first time. People are often fascinated and sexually attracted to what is different. That may even be an evolutionary hard wire for some, so that we become a stronger species. But these dialogues are so important, it’s how we learn about each other. We need to feel it’s okay to have an interest in something outside of our own world, so we can learn. In the long run we all poop, cry, get really gross runny noses – and seem to have huge issues with our mothers. I thought Jews had a monopoly on guilt, I don’t think so anymore…kdrama has taught me different. It’s kind of nice to see that.

  149. Seriously, yes I like kpop and shit.. And I wanna study Korean culture and language at the University of Copenhagen, yes my bf is korean and yes i wanna have them pretty mixed babies. Some people say that I am obsessed or into every asian male but omg that is not true!!! I am a pretty blonde white girl who have NEVER been this Happy in her life. I am where I wanna be, and Think i found myself. I can tell vietnamese from chinese and so on, and noone look a like as many people say.. All of my friends around me are Asians. My best friend is Korean and my best girlfriends are filipino and koreans and as I said before even my bf is korean. I dont try to behave asian, I just feel like really comfortable around Asians i guess.. When All of this is said I have NEVER been with a white guy LIKE THAT, sure I snugged a few but after I found myself really attracted to Asians I would NEVER go for a white again.. Like all I’ve ever slept with was asian, some might say I am even racist or something or Its not about race, sure It is. I would rather break every bone in my body than be with a white or black. Seriously Its the same thing if you asked a straight man to become gay? How would that be?? Even my parents told me that there was something Wrong with me, maybe there is or maybe I am just obsessed, but anyways I freakinloveit love how I am and I couldn’t Care less for People’s opinion. I am just telling my story on this matter.

  150. lololol i randomly stumbled across this post… and omg i can totally relate. im chinese but alot of people think im korean cuz of my skin color and my chinky-ish eyes so i get quite alot of friend requests on fb from mostly kpop fanatics. i mean theres nothing wrong with liking kpop but some people are just flat out obssessed! and these non-korean or non-asian people on my fb would be like posting statuses in korean, flooding my newsfeed with kpop vids, photos of their favorite korean celebrities and photos of them eating ramen while doing the asian v-pose like wtf hahahaaha it’s annoying sometimes…ok, most of the times like omg just….just stahp.

  151. Ummmmm that was funny and very true but dont get mad when black girls act crazy cuz we get racist comments more than u do and its funni how u only talked about black people

  152. Although I’m not as ignorant as those girls sound, I really do get what you’re saying. That must be so annoying! Thanks for clearing all that up. :3

  153. Hi,
    Thanks for your amazing post, I really believe Ignorances and prejudices are what will tear the world apart.
    To make short I am half asian, half caucasian (french) with a real asian face and a real french surname. This caused me problems all the time, I remembered at my GCSE, teachers were calling my name but as they didn’t expect to see an asian person, they will just ignored me and kept on calling my name. And when you think that asian community will support you, you get it all wrong too, I’m vietnamese from my mother and how many times, in the street an old lady would come to me and start speaking to me in Chinese, thinking that I would be able to understand because I’m asian… this is the cute example but worst happened to me also, I got abused on facebook by some kind of American vietnamese teenage boy (*cough* who should try to learn more about history before he talks) “OMG you French, you b****** colonized my country…” and surprise, surprise when I told him “actually, I’m half Vietnamese Dude!” and then the answer who would kill anyone “So your mum or dad whored themselves to the Western…” wtf, is he here to pick up a fight… will I always be wrong for him… should we restart the whole WWII just because of his ignorance >_>?
    And now I’m happily married to a ginger english man and can’t wait to see how our lovely kids will look like.

    Anyway all this to say, I’m glad to see that the world is not completely shut on itself and there is people who can make the difference out there.


  154. I thought this post was really funny. Honestly. As a 40+ year old Black woman, I find it strange that Black women are professing this “love” for Asian men or that they have always had an attraction to Asian men. I will air the dirty laundry right now. It was only yesterday, like the 1990s, when Black folk were complaining about Asians selling goods and services to us and not giving back to their neighborhoods. It was only yesterday, that Black women would comment that “Chinese” people look funny to them, not knowing if they were Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Korean, etc. It was only yesterday that Black folk stopped referring to Asians as “Chinaman” or Oriental. No kidding, my 66 year old mother just told me about getting custom-made clothes from “Hong Kong Charlie”. Jeez! What a difference a K-Drama makes! I’m from Texas, and let me tell you, there was one Japanese family that grew up on my street in a new home subdivision. They did not play with other kids in the neighborhood. My parents thought that the father did not like Blacks. Now I know better, those kids were busy with more homework after their teacher-assigned homework. So, there was no getting to know Asian anything until the 1990s when I was in my late 20s. In my opinion, this love and obsession – thirstyness – with Asian men that has sprung up is a recent fascination of the current generation who are influenced by the music and dramas coming out of Korea; and this fascination must have started when they were like 10 years old. So, please forgive us if we are a little slow on the uptake.

  155. Quite an interesting/ eye opening post. Your honesty is very much appreciated. Definitely agree with the example you posted. In my case I am in love with the culture as it reminds me of my own ( even though I am not Asian).

  156. I just wanna say thank you for writing this blog post. The most important thing to do whenever you’re meeting someone is to be yourself. I’m into Asian culture myself, but I’m not gonna always flash in someone’s face that “I love Asian guys,” or “Asian guys are so cute.” I may say I like Asian guys, but that’s about it. I may even say that I think an Asian guy is cute. But, it’s normal for a girl to be attracted to a handsome guy.
    Anyway, here’s a video I commented on last year about a black girl who bragged about liking Asian men:

    When I commented on her video back then, I was agreeing with her and said that I like Asian men too. Now, when I think back to that video, I realize that she may have just been showing off. I’m not saying that liking Asians is wrong. Maybe she wants to have a relationship with an Asian guy just so she can tell everyone about it. Interracial relationships are no different than same race relationships. I still don’t understand why some people and the media like to make a big deal out of it, especially when a black woman dates and or marries a non-black man.

  157. Thank you! Omg im blasian and guys treat me like that, either all ghetto or “oh i love blasians, are you into anime?” Im in love with kpop and korean culture but sadly(i still love it) im mixed with japanese!

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  159. Most Asian men I come across are impressed at the fact that I speak Korean Fluently. And I’m a black Puertorican girl. I don’t care for Kpop but I love Korean Dramas. I’m a Language Translator for the airport. I wouldn’t say I’m trying to be Korean but I do enjoy the culture. I’ve only dated Chinese and Taiwan men and they are
    always impressed by my language ability and how different I am.. ^__^

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    Sorry to all my asian dudes, I find white girls the most attractive in my eyes. And that is just a preference. In fact it’s your choice on who you like. And thank y’all.

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  162. I love this. As a black woman I get so irritated when I come across mostly white men, who love telling me how they have always wanted to date a black girl. And it just goes south from there; they start speaking awful slang, referencing rap music which I don’t even like, and asking me/commenting about my hair!!!!

    I don’t ever want to be someone’s fetish or fantasy only.

    I feel like people don’t see you as human when they think of you as a fetish and therefore any relationship you enter into with that person is bound to fail. You’re just the flavor of the moment and when they’re bored of you (which is inevitable, especially when you don’t live up to the stereotype) they will just move on to the next fetish or settle down with someone like themselves.

    I date people for people, not color or culture or nationality. Meeting someone who does come from a different background is great because I’ll get to learn some new stuff. But it has not been nor will it ever be my sole motivation. I love this article for bring things like this to light. I hope it opens some people’s eyes.

    • That’s an opinion, your opinion. Because as a black woman I found that Asian men are just like every other man and if they find a woman attractive, they find her attractive regardless of her race. However that just may be the higher caliber of Asian men that I know and hang around.

  163. I think one of the problems you run into is the “catch” a fill in the blank or asian man mentality. What you end up reading between the lines is…”I want an asian man, and any asian man will do” just like the pokemon thing. Fine if you like asian men, but don’t try to be asian to get one, and most people want to be liked for other qualities such as interests, personalities, etc.

    Also, assuming an asian man is into asian pop culture as much as you is definitely a misstep. If she was a black girl in this case and he had assumed the same thing, he would have been sadly mistaken, right? Because she’s very much into all things korean. I guess, just never assume. That’s safest.

  164. This is so true me and my boyfriend are a mixed couple we talk about culture sometimes but its not like what some girls do.i love him because hes himself not because hes black. Race doesnt matter and love has no race. He and I are different but we love to here interesting things about each other not those sterotypes what you see with some people need to stop it seriously if you both love each other for who they are then race isnt important

  165. I know that this is an old post but this video sums up what you’ve said perfectly. HAHAHAHA!

    Also, I do love Asian culture. Partially because of my job and partially because I just enjoy it. I speak Korean but I’m moving to Japan for a few years for work. I actually found this post because I wanted to see if I could get some tips on dating there. I don’t want to date the swarms of military there because I am tired of them. I’d rather get to know a local guy who can show me around. Hopefully a cute, shy, computer nerd, but I don’t really know what to expect. Is it like dating in the US or should I be prepared for something different? And would guys in Okinawa be less prone to date American girls than say, guys in Tokyo? I’m black too so I could see that being a problem as well. It would just be nice to have an idea of what my chances are. ^_^

  166. Loved this! It’s kinda sad for me though.
    I don’t like K-pop nor C-pop but I do love the culture and traditions I find in Korea and China. Sadly, when I tell someone I’m learning korean and mandarin (and I’m a white female) or the fact I’m working in Korean restaurant and that I love chinese and korean food, they (asians and non asians) automatically assume I have an asian fetish. (I’ve been told I had the “yellow fever” multiple times). The thing is.. I’ve dated non-asians, I’ve dated asians. The race doesn’t matter to me as long as we share something together. So yeah, the girls you’re describing in your post, I can’t stand those… because they make me (and my friends who are ACTUALLY interested in something else than cute little boys with make-up) look like we part of that asian-fetish group. And we aren’t. It’s just really sad, and upsetting at times. Can’t tell anyone I like learning mandarin/korean without someone telling me “OH SO YOU’RE A K-POP LOVER?! YOU LOVE ASIAN MEN, DON’T YOU?!”. So upsetting.

  167. Pingback: Playboy Petrarch: Racial Fetishism and K-pop - seoulbeats | seoulbeats

  168. I kind of stumbled on this. I realize I’m late to the party but this kind of struck a cord. Memories.
    It was my freshmen year of high school and my parents enrolled me in a scho that was 90% white, 7% Asian ,2% Hispanic. I WAS THE 1% BLACK. Instantly everyone grouped me off with the Puerto Rican girls .- I wonder why – I didn’t fit. My love for rock music , lacrosse, piano and track literally shoved me into a large clique of white girls. Everyone besides them said I was “trying to be white”. Then I got into kpop. WAIT DON’T STOP READING . I love it, and I’m not ashamed. I didn’t go around screaming Super Junior but I do have a bookbag covered in the pins. It was a gift. I eventually had a crush on a really sweet seeming Japanese guy. It wasn’t his race but his personality and how easily we related that attracted me to him. I approached him one day and we started talking. I wore the bookbag a few weeks later. We went out (as much as you can”go out” in freshman year with a Jamaican mom)Bam. Instantly he starts ignoring me. My family decided to relocate and before I leave my friends explain that he thought I was into him because I like kpop and according to him had an ” Asian fetish” . Sounds familiar huh? I just don’t get where the line lies. I was myself and the moment he saw Bi- Rain smiling at him from my back ” WOOP SHE LIKES ME CUZ IM ASIAN TIME TO SOREAD RUMORS”. Maybe it’s a high school thing? Maybe it’s a guy thing? Either way there needs to be clarification on both ends.

  169. Hmmm, well, I can see where you’re coming from, but really, the whole, I only like white girls thing, gets on my nerves. Asian girls can be pretty westernized, especially if they grew up or were born in America or anywhere that isn’t Asia. You said, “If I wanted to date someone who was obsessed with Asian culture, then I’d date an Asian girl.” Asian girls can also be interested in other things. A lot of not only smart, but can be great artists, great dancers, great at anything. Don’t think that you’re so great because you’re dating a white girl, anyone can do that. It’s called a white fetish and that’s just ridiculous.

  170. Although this is extremely true and I agree 100%…I really hope you’re not shutting down girls/people just because they’re into asian culture or kpop or whatever. Sure they have an obsession with asian culture or entertainment. .but not all will be as ignorant and stupid as the girls you listed as example. I’m totally into korean culture and entertainment but it doesn’t mean ill message you just cause you’re asian. Maybe I messaged you because I thought you were cute smart and a good personality. Does me liking kpop make me any less significant? I feel like you’re a little too hot headed about non asians liking asian stuff. Just because Im into asians doesn’t mean I wanna do the done diddly with you

  171. OMG, When I was in the Army I had a friend from Guam that I was very attracted to but did not let him know because I was married. He was such a gentleman, kind, and considerate. He never took advantage of our friendship….I still miss him to this day over 30 years later.

  172. Ok im just saying who the hell can be soo desperate to love an asian guy,this is just embarassing,yh so im a Maroon indian but born in Antigua i have brownish skin tone but mt boobs are brighter than my natural complection and my palms are yellow,i realy like asian people not just the men but the ladies also because to me they r the sweetest people on earth like most of my indian friends and chinese friends and if i like an asian guy trust me i aint fin a look like some desperat asswhole like who ever was flirting with u yet i ended up with an asian boyfriend but then broke up because of the less attention i was giving him so he asumed i was cheating so i didnt blame him ecause i was planning to due to the amt of so called girlfriends he had.DAMN i let him go easy,biggest mistake of my life,you heard all this from a 15 yr old!!!! x)

    • I like your style Avonte x) i also like Maroon indians their skin seems very shiney when wet and many of them i think r in relationships with Serian guys.oh and fyi im a lesbo and you sound interesting,i also like Antiguan culture with their Carnival Festivals and Soca music is soo fun andwile colourful costumes and their caribbean language “eh gyal wa gwan” -“hi girl wats up”.

    • Hi im an asian guy,im very interseted in Maroon Indians,white or black wemen,and this hole thing is funny but stupid!!!

  173. Me no ina no lesbo soum but tanx fe de pree -im not into lesbians but thanks for the complement.

  174. Haha, I felt a tiny bit bad because I love k-pop and Asian culture XD.
    However, I don’t like Asian guys ’cause they’re Asian and…
    Every Asian guy to hit on me (weirdly, quite a few) either like to geek out with me over k-pop or assume I love rap and hip-hop (because I’m Black) when I actually love rock music.
    They either go toward the stereo-typically “Black” stuff or only talk to me about Asian culture when, while I am interested in it, I love talking about all music and horror movies and games and dreams and whatnot.
    I’m basically either super “Black” or an Asian chaser when Asian guys hit on me and I’m neither.
    But that’s just my experience!

  175. Ha ha,this hole thing is a joke and this black woman with an asian fetish seems like an asswhole,sorry but im black girl to and this is embarassing. Oh and fyi im sure there is only a few black wemen with an asian fetish!!!!!

  176. What a load of BULLS*#! But i know for sure that asian and black make adurable sweet little babies. Bulls*#! Most black wemen like men with hudge D*#!S. Im mixed!!!!

  177. This is actually pretty helpful. I mean I am a kpop fan but I always tell that as like “the things I like” list which also includes things like singing and construction or animals. It’s not like the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Plus who sits there and types out words in Korean like that. The only time I ever write Korean is when I talk to my penpal (who’s actually female)that isn’t good at English so I try and write in Korean so she doesn’t have to struggle to understand me. The main thing is though yes I’m not going to plaster it all over you all the time but the Korean culture in general is a big part of my life and I’d like to find a guy even non-Asian to except me for being who I am.

  178. Hi, as a non-asian female living in Japan and dating a Japanese guy, I get a lot of non-asian girls asking me how I “caught” my Japanese guy or telling me how lucky I am to date a Japanese guy solely because he is Asian. And they domt seem to understand what I mean when I tell them that I don’t fall for an ethnicity! I am glad to see this post and I hope girls who have an Asian fetish see how they come across…

  179. Good post. As a Korean man, I also have been annoyed by numerous K-pop fan girls who starts a conversation about their favorite Korean boy bands who I don’t care of. Unlike the auther, however, I am very fine with non-asian girls who have an Asian fetish. (This is why I don’t like the title. The title should be more like this: Things “I” hate.) Like I have some fetishes about other races, they also can have one.

    Here is my tip for girls to start a favorable convo. with a Korean guy: NEVER mention that you are a K-pop fan first. Show your interests about their personality and life, not about random K-pop things. I would pick an exotic girl who is interested in my life over an annoying girl who keeps sending me a bunch of pictures of the boy band I don’t know.

  180. I am damn sick of the Asian obsession all together. Please folks, it’s time to move on. If it weren’t for anime, kpop or video games, Asia, its men and its languages would not be on the radar for women.

    • How is it that you’re “Sick of Asian fetish?” So is it okay for people to drool over European or White Americans because of their “beauty” O_o??? I wasn’t exposed to Asian men through video games, kpop or anime, I was actually exposed to Asian men as a child when my family were watching martial arts movies and I loved Asian men back then. Now that Asian men are FINALLY getting love and much deserved attention people have a problem with it. I don’t get it. Just like everything else in social media, tv, online, etc if you don’t like it TURN IT OFF, plain and simple. Nothing for you to be obsessing over or wasting your time on.

      Plus who made it a rule for people not have a preference?? If I prefer Asian men, I prefer Asian men, it’s not a fetish, it’s a fact. There are people who like women with big butts, big breast, long hair, short hair, fair skin, dark skin, etc, there’s nothing wrong with liking what you like and having to feel bad or guilty about it. YES I like Asian men SO WHAT!?!? It’s a preference and just like men, it’s okay for women to have a preference. If a man says I like a girl with big breast but a girl with small boobs comes along and he likes her and decides to date her, it doesn’t mean he no longer likes big boobs it just means he found someone he really liked and cared about that came along.

  181. Haha this article made me laugh. You have got the right idea though, love just comes to you. You can’t just obsess over an Asian guy and expect him to like you because you want to be everything Asian.Some people are very ignorant to the fact that everyone has different tastes in people no matter their ethnicity. Very good advice, keep writing.

  182. You guys must have seen a lot of write up like mine on the internet.Some of them are true and some i can’t really say cos truthfully i din’t know.It will be wrong for me to say they are not true because i wasn’t the person who kept them on the internet so i dont have the ability to tell if something is true or not.I can tell you that is this,its best to believe every word written by someone who wrote about how METODO ACAMU help fix their problem with a spell cos i too have experienced his greatness first hand.METODO ACAMU is the only or i would say one of the few spell caster that still walk on the surface of this earth.Not everyone think this but i for one, think he is one of the remaining few spell caster that is still alive and helping people.I also think those who have had an experience with him can back me up on this.You can say casting a spell on someone you love is selfish or inhuman or stealing the person free will.But love spell doesn’t work like that cos the person in question that you are casting a spell on, doesn’t become a slave to you or to love.They only get to love you so dearly that they can lay their life for you.What ever any reader think of me i want you to know that i got what i wanted and my partner also did “love”.I fell in love with my research partner.We have been working together for a long time and we have been through a lot together breakthrough, disappointments and everything you can think of.We closely observed our lives and came to a conclusion that we could be friend for life.Only that i wanted her to be more than just a friend.We were so close that it made other lab scientist think we were having an affair even our supervisor thought the same i wished to my star that we were having an affair because i loved her so much.She was undeniably beautiful with a great body and great smile that drives every man nuts.We will talk all night at my place after work.Because she lived in New Jersey and worked here in New York it was almost always impossible for her to return home cos we always finished from the lab so late at night.We would lie close to each talking about everything.I could hear her heart beat like she always wanted me to make a move me cos when i finally made the big move, not like she pulled oat her.I mean maybe i read the signs wrong or something that made me think she was falling for ut immediately but she did pull of.From there on she made us just work and nothing else not friend, not lovers just nothing.She was avoiding me, not picking my call and it was really killing believe me when you fall in love with a girl and it turns out that she is not picking your calls you dont know how hurtful it can be.I was puzzled, i could not rap it arround my head how a girl would like but still don’t anything to do with you.We went on like that for eight months.I guess it was around that time i found Metodo Acamu contact on the internet and contacted him.METODO ACAMU help me cast a love spell with just and only the materials he asked me tp provide which i did.Though it took two weeks to complete the spell,he help made her love me the way she does right now.I suggest you all read other comment about METODO ACAMU you find on the internet.Though my testimony is not lengthen,i think i have said enough to make to those like me who have trust issues about spell casting believe that METODO ACAMU is the only one that can help you.He even asked me to bring the materials which he used to get my spell casted to his temple myself but i was too busy and was not ready to get a plane ticket to travel to get the spell casted when i could just wire the total cost for him to get the materials and aside that he is the expert in this things he would know where to find all the materials needed for the spell casting.For those people like me looking for help here is METODO ACAMU email contact you can use to reach him {}

  183. Just randomly saw this on FB. Hits home, now that K-pop is getting rather mainstream. As an American woman who recently moved back to America from Asia (Japan, mostly the Philippines) over a span of 4 years… this drives me NUTS. I have tendencies, yes, like eating with chopsticks, or saying certain things under my breath that make no sense to others. I don’t do it to bring attention to myself (99% of the time, I don’t think anyone catches it, thank God) but because, after that amount of time, come things feel comfortable. I DO have K-pop on my playlist… but guess what? I know what they’re saying, dummy. I also have MOSTLY Tagalog/Bisaya songs, and those aren’t popular at all, but they’re what I like and what I’m good at.

    Oh man…. I could go so negative, but I shouldn’t. I’m white. A ‘Kana. I’m proud of my country, but love living abroad, and also love spreading information about how BIG the world is, and how amazing it is… and how it’s not just “‘MURICA!.” If you like Asian men, awesome. I love Asian men. I am attracted to any man that fits whatever genetic/atmospheric criteria my mind & body set. For me, that typically, is someone of Asian descent, but not always. Ladies, if you like Asian guys, and want one… it’s no different than any other man: be yourself. They either like you or they don’t. And watch your k-dramas on your own. Srsly.

  184. Ahahahahahahaha … I read this post as my friend shared it on FB. And it made me laugh. The world is full with idiots and some of them are really just waiting the oxygen hahahaha … I work on cruise ship along with 68 different nationalities so it gets a part of our lifes… Black white Asian … Doesn’t even matter anymore. But when I got home after my first contract everyone asked me if I like black men.???? And then I realized… Aaaaa I have pictures on FB with my friends and few of them were black!! And the place I come from we don’t have any black people… Yeah crazy people.

  185. I see your point that retarded to think someone korean but what if some one just likes kpop and kdrama just because they like it I mean I like it a lot because I like the songs and I know some Korean isn’t that OK as long as there not obsessed with it

  186. I fully understand how other asians might feel uncomfortable by stereotyping as some feminine, Frodo-type boys. The thing is, most of Korean guys exactly feel the same too because we wanna look as masculine, fit, and manly as possible. But It bothers me quite a lot to see increasing numbers of comments n posts describing Koreans or the entire community as an evil one and to be punished. There are unfair negative connotations in them about Korean scene (even somehow boosting hate toward them). Do you seriously believe bigbang daesung got any kinds of plastic surgery? (FYI, he is my high-school friend lol) oh boy…Its mostly female idols or normal people who get those plastic shit (60% of ~20’s women, according to DongA newspaper) Male Koreans generally never imagined to get face rebuilding and the rate with idols are much lower than women too. Every celebrity in every country do make-up and stuff so I don’t see why it is an issue here. Obviously there is lookism (외모지상주의, a tendency that people weigh appearance more) which makes people care less about their inner mind and motivate to do more “appearance thing” than other parts of world, but I think it is not just Korean’s problem. Almost every human beings love pretty girls with big boobs and tall, handsome, fit guys. Plus for Kpop fans’s side, they just have their own favorite just as westerners loving cute and pretty asian girls and I think nothing is wrong with them, It is just their preference or taste and no one has a right or authority to force them to change it.

  187. (Edited from above comment)

    I fully understand how other asians might feel uncomfortable by stereotyping as some feminine, Frodo-type boys. The thing is, most of Korean guys exactly feel the same too because we wanna look as masculine, fit, and manly as possible. But It bothers me quite a lot to see increasing numbers of comments n posts describing Koreans or the entire community as an evil one and to be punished. There are unfair negative connotations in them about Korean scene (even somehow boosting hate toward them). Do you seriously believe bigbang daesung got any kinds of plastic surgery? (FYI, he is my high-school friend lol) oh boy…Its mostly female idols or normal people who get those plastic shit (60% of ~20’s women, according to DongA newspaper) Male Koreans generally never imagined to get face rebuilding and the rate with idols are much lower than women too. Every celebrity in every country do make-up and stuff so I don’t see why it is an issue here. Obviously there is lookism (외모지상주의, a tendency that people weigh appearance more) which makes people care less about their inner mind and motivate to do more “appearance thing” than other parts of world, but I think it is not just Korean’s problem. Almost every human beings love pretty girls with big boobs and tall, handsome, fit guys. Plus for Kpop fangirl’s side, they just have their own favorite just as western guys have a fetish to cute and pretty asian girls and I think nothing is wrong with them, It is just their preference or taste and no one has a right or authority to force them to change it.

    • Anyone can appreciate a beautiful thing ,Those Kpop groups and kdrama actors are packaged very nicely.But like most everything ,they needs to be caution ,because once it fades and gets ridiculed!

  188. hey dat was awesome man. i know how that feels lyk m indian but i doesnot look like one and people keep calling me chinki it sucks man lyk WTH can’t they see i speak in their language and they treat me like m an outcast. whenever i cross path with some people they will start making up irritating sounds lyk they r trying to speak in chinese.

  189. Sweetie you should be honored a black woman found you attractive if I must toot my own horn(which I will cause I’m a leo that’s my thing) any Asian guy should be happy I smile at him cause baby I can get any man I want yes as a black woman I am the best looking smart lol but yeah if you don’t like black girls fine but damn man it’s better than messing with a white girl

  190. When will people realize that you are totally conditioned by the media.People try to recreate what they see and hear.PPPPPPPlllllleeeaassee ,you really should feel honored that black women found you attractive ,instead of being patronizing and condescending, feel pride.Because frankly most of the Asian men do not look anything like they do on TV ,media Duh!!! Don’t go feeling yourself too much because you are getting attention from black women.

  191. This is very stupid I mean like some Asian guys like different races of girls I mean how do you think I was born? I blasian so see?! Also you are putting down all of the girls that want an Asian man and how do you know how all Asian men think? Look at me I know Korean and people mistake me for it but I dont get mad and make this crazy stuff online

  192. wow i like what you wrote honest is always key but you have alot to read so i,ll make this short thanks for true words and i,m not ur fan u have to many so i,m spirit gonna go now hit me up if you want or dont ur choice and congrats on doing whatever you do peace ox much love spirit

  193. This, so much, but at the same time people assume were wannabe Asians just because we prefer some asian “fashion” (styles like gyaru, lolita visualkei etc but also others) over our own and prefer their music because of any reason aside from hot guys… I got send here because if people like that.
    Yes this is a pretty personal rant but its also about that western ganguro, nobody expects she just likes te style personally instead of doing it for the Asian boys

  194. thank you so much for those words!!!! i hope some of the girls will think about what they really want.

    i know many girls who just want to have an asian guy. evey single one is attractive to them and i don’t think that this is what life is about… i love kpop too but i would never say i only love asian guys or only korean… i mean some are reeeeaaally really hot but we still need to stay real (? is that the right way to say that? sorry my english isn’t that great >____<)

    and by the way as you might see on my facebook page i'm a jonguppie fan, but i'm not a fan of him because he's asian… i love him because he is simply himself^^

    please don't attack me 😀 ❤ love you all~

  195. I’m definitely sharing this with all those Kpop fans that are obsessed with getting a Korean boyfriend. They look at them as trophies to acquire and show off. It’s sad.

    Ps: Not all Kpop fans are like this. Some of us are sane, nice people.

    Great post.

  196. Its funny you say this because it can also happen the other way round. I had an asian guy ask me out because he found I was in to korean culture but it was like he expected me to be infatuated with him or something. I was like wtf am I in a relationship or is this guy just tryna get laid! I like kpop and kdramas and kfood, i have barely met you I dont like you okay.

  197. Omg you’re not Korean!

    Wow feel for you and your massive hardships of women messaging you for your Asian-ness.

    To be Frank it’s like a heat wave of Asian “persuasion” has hit our culture. Like Michael Jackson and I think all the Asian cultures. Not really sure. Big Jackson right here.

    I think most ladies have this exotic idea of Asian people. It may not even be important to get to know the person , where race is a factor in your decision. Some sort of quest. In a way I feel that this puts women on the same playing field as men who want to go on the quest of how many women they can sleep with.

    I’d feel more comfortable meeting someone outside of Facebook, then by Facebook. A random bump into in a store is more logical they a message through Facebook. And getting to know the person, because so what of you’re attractive if you sick as a person it won’t work.

    Just thoughthe I’d put in my two cents.

  198. I’m told that some (not Asian-American men)Asian men are shy, and not confident when it comes to dating foreign girls, and that being direct and bold and straight up saying, “I am attracted to you, I would like to know you better.” is better than just waiting for him to make the first move.

    But… I’m not that bold. I’m not that confident. I find that I become the wallflower often if I’m in groups of more than four people.

    I am going to go to Japan to study marine biology and international studies, and I’m worried that I will continue to be the wallflower that I am now—ESPECIALLY since I am embarrassed that I stick out as a foreigner, have a bigger bust(im taking DDD[and the attention I get from them makes me feel worse about myself]), and I am short.

    How can I learn to relax?

    PS: this has little to do with your page, which I will say is very nicely written.

    Thank you for your time,

  199. eh… but what to do if I actually love kpop (but only exo) , then some Asians will think I just lie to have a attention?… depression… I also have Chinese classes, cause it’s awesome to know how to spell those letters that your friends can’t and understand… or like I also should tell about how I love Imagine Dragons or Muse and stuff… But all into Asia is true me and myself… that’s kinda … frrrrf… yup! congrats! now I’ll go cry alone a bit cause I like chinese and koreans cause they are asians and I love asia and that’s why no asian man pay attention on me… 😥

  200. I’m actually pretty obsessed with Asian men. I don’t know what it is, but I am just so drawn to them. I love the culture and not just the k pop, although I sing it pretty damn well.. I met my husband, my then boyfriend, and then I met his friend. This beautiful tall Korean guy and I’ll be honest; I died a little inside. I ended up getting pregnant by the white guy and marrying him.. I really wish I could’ve met his friend before him because we had so much in common… Like, yes it’s a fetish! A lot of people have them! I am still obsessed with Asian men… My daughter looks Asian and seriously my husband makes jokes that it’s his friends. IF IT WAS DO YOU THINK I WOULD STILL BE WITH YOU? I have to feed my fetish with kdramas which I watch only occasionally… But I’m watching heirs right now and I’m dying… Sorry that the fetish offends you, but you should take it as a compliment! I love guys who want to know about my Caribbean culture. If I ever get divorced I know who I’ll end up with to satisfy all those fetishy needs lol.

  201. Lol, I thought it was funny and true ! Yeah there are lots of girls who are interested in “Asian” cultures because there are so many that are amazing. It would be weird to be with someone who has a fetish with something one might want to get away from. However, I don’t think every girl being interested in Asians will think you’ll love them because of k-Pop or J-POP. The music is interesting, and some girls like me listen to it because we like how the singers vocals are so soft and fit in the moment. Such a delicate,amazing voice that just intrigues someone ( I’m tired of “American” music because it mostly involves lyrics with sex,drugs,violence or hooking up with strangers). Not all American music is like that but it’s most of it and I know Asian music has it too but at least I can find songs that doesn’t involve any ot that just your plain Simple love story.

  202. Hi! Awesome post. I am way too shy to even atempt talking to asain boys. I had i crush on an asian guy before. I would even just go into his shop and buy nothing just to sneek some glances at him. Even though i went there almost everyday of the week, he never seemed to notice me. I found out a month later he already had a girlfriend! LOL…guess he was not for me. I still blush when i see a asian guy smile or greet me, but my courage will always fail me to even make an efford to say ‘hello’. Butterflies always gets the better of me… Thank you and Enjoy ur day!

  203. That hit the spot. Made me think of how I was trying so hard to be something else other than myself. Just so someone would like me, like why should I like you. You don’t like me, but I still won’t give up in less I don’t have a chance. I won’t try to hard though.

  204. Hey , I can salsa a little bit? I am a visual artist, I am currently making my own studio for music in my studio (haha) am I impressing you?
    I thought your blog was funny,
    Good luck 🙂

  205. Ugh. This is definitely true in numerous cases. I’m black and yes, I actually hit the stereotypes but not on a regular basis. Lol. I love fried chicken but if someone just randomly brought that up(and they have) I would still find it insulting since they are stereotyping me. In addition, I can be loud. Everyone can and most people will but it depends on the situation and predicaments I’m in. To add, I adore watermelon, however its not because I’m black. One could say its because I simply enjoy fresh fruit. And I find myself quite intelligent and poised rather than rough and obnoxious. I’m in the IB program for a reason. Furthermore I may be attracted to Asian guys, but I most certainly would never behave in such a manner knowing that’s how one would react based on common sense- not just reading this post. I find it quite disappointing that enough girls of every race and ethnicity just assume someone Asian must be Korean or must be Japanese or must be Chinese to be Asian… And for gods sake,Asians don’t all look the same and blacks dont look the same. I’ve heard that so many times within the time I’ve been in the IB program. -____-

  206. I laughed so hard because I see this all the time(fb groups I’m in) I’m of mixed race and like Asian men as well but I do not obsess over everything about them(trying to speak their language, anime, trying to look Asian, etc)
    Like it says it’s good to a point but most the women who are into Asian men are overboard on Asian cultural things.

  207. I loved this. My boyfriend was born in the Philippines. It’s kinda funny because I don’t see him as Asian. I’m fully aware that he is, but I see him as a person. I was attracted to his personality, he asked me if I would be willing to date him and I agreed. Not because I’m obsessed with Asian culture, not because I have a “thing” for Asian guys. If I’m honest, most of the people I’ve been attracted to in the past have been white. I’m attracted to intelligence. Anyway, this is just my two cents. My boyfriend actually wants me to learn more about the Filipino culture because it’s his heritage. It’s not something I probably would have considered on my own. Anyway, your article made us chuckle and think a little bit.

  208. i think this is interesting and yes not all Asian are from the same place and one day i will learn different language i’m still learning a little bit of Japanese also it is nice that you are proud to be a FILIPINO and don’t worry when the time comes you will find the right girl that can respect both you,your culture and your family and i wish you good luck whit finding a nice girl

  209. I love your post, thanks a lot! I guess we have the same problem with Colombian girls, if we are all drug dealers, prostitutes, or all of us are like Shakira or Sofia Vergara. It is about media, and the lack of deeper sense of ‘reality’.

  210. Pingback: Express My Views #5: Response to Interracial Dating Rant (AM/BW) – nynyonline

  211. I’m sorry but I don’t like the fact that many blogs like to use the example of black women as desperate fetish lovers. As a black women I always loved asian men but not because of their culture but because of how the media negatively view Asian men. In American society they view the physical features of Eastern Asian men as something ugly but if similar features were found on a white men then it’s attractive.

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