Interracial Dating Rant #3 – Finding Love In Korea = Bullshit, Asian Men Who Are Assholes + More!

Some people really blow my mind with their stupidity. I mean forreals, some folks are so dumb you just have to sit back and MARVEL at how idiotic they are.

"The stupidity... it's so AMAZING!"

1. I Want To Visit Korea To Find Myself An Asian Boyfriend!

You're like the Women on Desperate Housewives... minus the Housewife part 😉

Are you fucking kidding me? If you can’t even hook up with Kenny Hong, the Asian guy that works at Subway, then how the hell are you gonna find yourself a boyfriend all the way in Korea? And even if you do find someone, what are you gonna do next? Live there? Or did you plan on smuggling him through airport security?

I find it so bizarre that SOO many women magically wanna visit Korea to find themselves Korean boyfriends. It’s like “DUUDE! Do you realize how IGNORANT you sound?” Think about it this way: The idea of you going to Asia to bring back an Asian Man, is just as retarded as the White Men who go to Asia thinking they can smuggle themselves a submissive Asian Wife.

Now, if you legitimately want to visit Korea to experience the culture and possibly live there, then sure! That’s fine! Or maybe you might wanna visit and you have this thought in your mind that “Oooh! Maybe I might meet a cute Korean guy!” If that’s the case, then that is also okay. What I’m complaining against is the idea that some women think they can just go to Asia and BRING BACK an Asian Man, as if he were a damn “I ❤ NY” t-shirt.

My Solution: Find an Asian guy in your town or go out of state if you have to. If not, meet them online and see if you can figure something out.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm only interested in Asian men, so ummm... yeaaaaaa...."

2. Asian Men Who Are Complete Assholes

"Wat it DOH Shawty?!"

Alright, I’ve been involved in a fair ammount of Asian Male/Non-Asian Female groups, and I’ve gotta say: the majority of the Asian men in these groups are well composed, and very spectacular. They’re intelligent, funny, and cool to talk to. However, every now and then I come across some Asian dick-head who thinks he’s the next Pauly D (Paurree Dee?)

Now don’t get me wrong, confidence is a great thing and it can do wonders for your love life, but there’s a clear distinction between confidence and being a dick-head. Being a dick-head is when you comment/message a girl online and say “Hey cutie” or “Wadup ma?” Whenever I see this shit, I just wanna wrap my head in a burlap sack and throw myself in front of a train. It’s like, dude! I know you wanna break the “Asians are shy” stereotype, but you can’t go overboard!

Bro, we're yellow people - not orange.

My Solution: Take the Gentleman approach. Treat her with some respect and quit acting like this is all a “game.” I mean yea, in a weird way, dating is a game, but when you look at it as if Women are opponents that you need to defeat in order to “win”, you really make yourself a complete tool.

Here’s the thing: most guys have been lead to believe that, in order to get the girl, you need to be an Alpha-Male. In essence, you need to be very assertive, you can’t take no for an answer, and you have to be dripping in confidence. The ironic thing is that, when you deal with top-quality women who are constantly being approached/hit on, most of them are actually sick and tired of the overly assertive/cocky man. In their lives, they get approached by confident men all the time. So when you come up to her with all that swag, you look like every other guy that came up to her before.


If you want a good woman, you need to be a good man. It’s as simple as that.

3. Interracial Dating Isn’t That Complicated!

I was reading a few blogs and watching some AMBW videos recently and in these posts, people were delving into heavy shit: the effects of the media, the psychology of Asian Men, The Civil Rights movement, and a bunch of other historical crap. After watching/reading all of this, I thought to myself: what the hell is everyone talking about?! Why are you guys making it so much more complicated than it already is?

Here is the best advice I can give you about dating Asian Guys/Dating Non-Asian Women:

"Shhh! This is T.O.P secret advice!"

1. Have some balls (or ovaries) to approach them.
2. Get to know the person.
3. Ask them out.
4. Impress them with your skills in juggling, or whatever it is you do.
5. Fall in love.
6. Repeat step 5 forever and ever.








Quit acting like it’s a goddamn chemistry experiment that needs to be taken care of with gloves and goggles, examined, and solved using the scientific method. Stop trying to “learn about Asian/Black culture” and start learning about the person you’re interested in. In the end, you are dating a person, not an entire ethnic group. I say this because, in my experience, the non-Asian women that I have bonded with the most are the ones who talk about my race/ethnicity the least.

The women I like are the ones that talk about art, and life, and music, and funny things they saw at the supermarket – not the women who obsess about Korean culture.

My Solution: Relax. If you could just take the time to see each other as people first, then you’ll realize that all of these ethnic discussions (although very interesting to talk and debate about) are pretty pointless once you start dating someone.

You see? This couple COULD be having wild sex, but instead, they decided to argue about Interracial Dating - now they're not talking 😦


I know this is a relatively short blog, but I’ve been a bit busy lately. School is finishing up, I have fashion stuff to take care of on my other blog, and I’m also preoccupied with a box of Cookie flavored ice cream 🙂 Oh yea, and one more thing…
…I kinda sorta maybe met someone.

More on that next time 😉


74 thoughts on “Interracial Dating Rant #3 – Finding Love In Korea = Bullshit, Asian Men Who Are Assholes + More!

  1. As always, Ranier, you are so right! I love what you’ve written and you always make me laugh. Great stuff! Thanks for blogging~!

  2. Funny article…not in total agreement about the historical “crap” (I prefer the term issues) but an interesting read.

  3. As a person who is interested in all cultures and such, I love hearing my friends saying they like to go to this country and that country. I even get excited for them. BUT! what makes me go wtf, is when they say “I’m going to Korea to find a Korean boyfriend.” Why you go so far to find a boyfriend when here in America, there are so many different guys to choose from, even Korean American guys if you wanted. I just don’t understand why a person would travel to Korea just to find a Korean man. 🙂

  4. LMAO!!!!!! I can’t agree more about how complicated ppl make interracial dating! I’m like seriously…. Yeah that’s great we understand the social and historical and psychological reasoning behind why don’t each outside the race normally.

    But at the end of day I’m thinking about the best way to seduce a guy rather than the social implications of being seen with someone outside my race. And honestly, I don’t care about all that stuff. I just wanna have a good time.

  5. >> “The idea of you going to Asia to bring back an Asian Man, is just as retarded as the White Men who go to Asia thinking they can smuggle themselves a submissive Asian Wife.” <<

    And then you put the Nicolas Cage picture with no caption! 'Nuff said! 😀 😀 😀

  6. The last point so much!! I’m so sick of everyone making interracial dating so political. When I date a guy, I’m dating him. Who I am and who he is on an individual basis is all that matters. Not what the Asian population of the United States thinks, or what the Black population of the United States thinks. There’s way too much focus on that stuff… the truth is, when you like an individual, none of that stuff will matter.

  7. I agree with you on the complicated shit. Again, this is new to me. When I lived in Hawaii, I dated Asian guys and race was NEVER mentioned except for few questions about translations. Also, if you an an American, why go to Korea to find a man? There are Koreans in the US, and they probably have more in common with you than a foreigner.

  8. I couldn’t agree more! I think you read my mind, and eloquently put it into this blog with (added bonus) photos!! ^^ Best wishes in your “maybe I met someone.”

  9. Hi there! You make some interesting points! I can’t help but imagine that I’m probably one of the annoying blogs you’ve read that inspired this post. oh well…it is always insightful to learn others’ perspective, and for that, I thank you! 🙂

  10. GD it! Welp, that totally ruined my planned trip to South Korea…
    *mentally changes destination to the philippines

  11. I will swear on a stack of Bibles: Not even in my heavy Yardie Otaku teen years did I ever think ‘find a boyfriend!’ when I imagined going to Japan.*

    *Bear with me, please. Back then (12 years ago), Japan was Mecca for my anime/manga freak self. 🙂

  12. You make good points but I’m going to have to do a post on my blog about this whole Korean obsession thing. It’s not like every K-Pop fan is like that. I’ll elaborate more on my own blog.

  13. ROTFL about moving to korea to find a boyfriend. seriously, would you want to date someone that moved to america for that purpose? very creepy and pretty racist as if it doesn’t matter who you wanted to date as long as they were korean.

    on a side note, you never know where you’ll find someone you’re interested in. I’m visiting scandinavia right now, and i’ve seen more AMXF & AMXM relationships in copenhagen than i ever have in my life! seriously, i’ve seen maybe a couple dozen in just a few days. admittedly, most of the X’s in this scenario are white, but it *is* denmark. there are probably 6 black people in the whole of the city lol. i’m interested to see how the scene will look in sweden and elsewhere. but that just goes to show the sisters with asian-only tunnel vision that they might find a hot asian dude in a place they they least expect.

  14. Pingback: Interracial Dating Rant #3 – Finding Love In Korea = Bullshit, Asian Men Who Are Assholes + More! (via ) « blackandyellowambw

  15. Lmao so true, Ranier. You marry a person, not an entire ethnic group. loved it.

    On another note, that last pic is a bit disturbing jk it’s hilarious..! Who’s that guy anyways? you use his pics all the time lmao too funny.

    P.D. we’re getting married in 2 weeks!! =D ❤

  16. I wish I read this blog before I meet my ex.

    I am from a west indian background and I meet a korean guy through a website about asian culture. I was there mostly to talk about food and film but this guy approached me and he seem really interested.

    It was kinda of weird at first because he came on really strong. We live in two different countries but he really wanted a relationship. He lived in New Jersery and grew up in America and I live in Toronto.

    I honestly wish I never meet him. A little into our relationship I got pregnant even though we using protection…or so I thought. We had sex once and I told him I wasnt on any birthcontrol so he needed to use a condom and be careful. It turns out the condon had fallen off at one point but he didnt bother to tell me so I couldnt get the morning after pill and I ended up getting pregnant.

    The moment I told him it was like I was dating a different person. He became really worried about what his friends would think and his family and wanted me to have an abortion. He said it would be really hard to have our child accepted and it would experience alot of racism.

    I ended up losing the baby in the end…but really, girls. Just be warned.

    Consider the person you let in your life.

    Dont just go for a Guy because of their culture..if you sense wierd just run away!

    • Oh dear, how I understand you! Something quite simillar happened to me, but I’m from Portugal.
      I meet this korean guy online, became friends then it evolved to something else…what happened next was pretty much the same as you…the difference is that when he asked for me to have an abortion I told him to Get the f*#₩$ out of my life… Now I’m a single mom of a beautiful boy! I Know “we” can’t generalize, but honestly, it’s not the first time I heard something like this happened. i know at least 3 more cases, well, four with yours. I think korean are really “attached” to they’re family, it’s a culture where the family wellbeing it’s above personal wellbeing…and usually korean older people are not very receptive of interracial couples, so they just do what they’re told…
      The only good thing that a$$hole gave me was a an handsome lovely son!

  17. I’m sorry about what happened to your baby.

    Unfortunate as it is,also count your breakup as a blessing. Just imagine how much worse it could have been if the relationship would have been prolonged.

    I trip out when he expressed concern about this.He knew that you were a Black woman when he dated you. It’s like he’ was saying “OMG…SHE’S A BLACK WOMAN!!” Oh,pleez!Sounds like he was trying to make excuses. He was scared of the possibilities of raising a child PERIOD!whether Asian or half Asian. That was all that was.

    Another excuse that get next to me is when people say “How about the children?” Oh god! how many times have we all heard that one? You don’t have to be mixed raced to be reminded that you’re different! I’m African-American, some people have accused me of being”White” because of how talk and where I was raised. I grew up in a White community.Though nobody in the ‘hood reminded me about my race, there a couple of times where a couple of Black girls from the next street from me called me “White girl” and with my brother, he didn’t know what being Black was because he looked like a White boy. Both of my parents are Southern US bred Black people. Still, we had those moments of ” What am I?” moments.

    By choice, I’ve been dateless for a while.I don’t have any kids and nor do I plan on having any,but I often said that if I had a child by a non-Black man, I already know how I want to raise him/her/them. They will be raised as biracial( or multiracial),will explain why they are who they are,tell them that they are very special to me and that I love them ,that the world is cruel and I would teach them and hope that they love who they are whether they are all Black or half/Black. My late grandfather was “Blindian”.He never knew his South Indian pops( he died when he when he was a baby),but his mom told him about his dad. He grew up during an era where the biracial category didn’t exist and especially, where mixed couples wasn’t celebrated( the 1930’s). He claimed ..Negro.. Colored .. Afro-American and stopped at Black American. My grandpops didn’t live to claim African-American or biracial. He was a pro Black man,but before he passed, my family and I got to meet the Indian side of his family in 1984.In spite of him calling himself Black, he always acknowledged his Indian blood.

    I agree, going with somebody because of their background doesn’t tell you about the insides of that person. That was the old me. The new, older me think of people as people .
    I will let nature take it’s course. If something is meant to be it will be. If it is meant for me to be in a relationship/marriage to a Black man or a non-Black man, so be it. Though you hit a snag with you ex,hopefully the next man you get will be far better.

    • I am actually indian..west indian, not black. The child would have really been a mix of west indian & scottish from myside and korean from hisside.

      I’ve never hear the term blindia before lol My cousin is black and indian and my culture we call that dougla.

      The mixed had never brothered me though because my family being west indian had come from a mixed hertiage. I thought it would be a beautiful baby…I just wish he saw it through my eyes.

  18. Oops! my apologies. I didn’t know as I didn’t know that you’re mixed.

    Oh, about the “blindian” term, I actually learned about that from a website that I look on from time to time. The author of the blog is a Black woman and her husband is Indian. I also seen it on the Wikipedia page or the Urban dictionary. It’s interesting, I didn’t think that the word didn’t exist.

    Though I’m quite sure that somebody may use call themselves that, I haven’t heard anybody actually say that they are blindian. Most of the mixed people that I’m around always say they are mixed,multiracial or Black or White if they are a result if a White/non-Black union. I have yet to hear a mixed raced Black/Indian person or just mixed period say ” I’m Blindian”. For all I know,they may not even know about it.

    That’s unfortunate that you ex couldn’t see it the way you did because if he would have, he wouldn’t have given 2 cents what the world would have thought about the relationship or the baby. As I mentioned before, thank god that he’s out of your life. If he would have stayed around,you would be in far more pain then you could imagine.It’s his lost.

  19. I just spent quite a few hours doing nothing but browsing the net reading all the comments and post about interracial dating. There is definitely strong opinions, especially when it’s on the subject of black women seeking white men. I think people feel they can post comments and say what they really want to. One thing’s for sure is we got a long way to go in race relations. The amount of ignorance is amazing. But at the same time there is no question that I’m seeing more and more interracial couples out there.

  20. Pingback: Express My Views #5: Response to Interracial Dating Rant (AM/BW) | Candy Nine

    • So there’s really women who are trying to go to Korea to get husbands?

      Ridiculous. Kpop really has people losing their minds.

  21. my name is orna,54 years old israeli female,single.
    i have master degree in pure mathematics and also a chinese medicine therapist.
    i am calm,patient,good hearted,caring,curious,humorous and interesting girl.
    i am very interested in china and it’s people.
    i can also speak some chinese.
    i am looking for a chinese guy about my age for longlasting friendship.
    feel free to contact me.

  22. If you need a Korean boyfriend, I think you SHOULD move to Korea.. because after about 2 weeks of the culture, you will be so shocked and out of place that you will never come up with a stupid idea like that again. I read those sites on facebook too.. I actually left the group because it was crazy.. Rain and Taeyang aren’t going to marry you.. make it stop!!!!! I’ve been in Korea for 3 years and I the Korean boy thing got old fast, and all the mean aren’t idol stars so get over it. If you talk to a guy here about Kpop he will laugh in your face !!

  23. I think it’s funny how clueless some American girls are. Go to Korea to find a Korean boyfriend/husband? Are you stupid? What makes them think a Korean guy will date them, just because they are white? They make it sound like there just a hoard of Korean guys lining outside the airport entrance waiting for the next white girl.

    Also, out of all the Asian countries, Koreans still abide by family customs and rules. A Korean might date a white girl for fun but they will never marry one. It’s sort of like the whole ” you can’t date them but you can’t breed with them” thinking over there.

    • Not true anymore.
      There are alot of mixed marriages in South Korea now. Over one million foreigners or expats living in South Korea and growing.
      And majority of Koreans accept it

  24. What movie are the second-to-last (AMWW couple) photos from? I watched it a while ago and can’t, for the life of me remember the title. It was a Korean film shot in NYC. Thx! Great post, BTW!

  25. I’m a 24 year old female from the UK and met my Korean boyfriend in Japan. Had never met any koreans before i came to Japan, no interest whatsoever in pop etc. J pop is even worse in my opinion. What attracted to me to my boyfriend was his sincerity. I have a lot of Korean female friends in Japan as well and they are quite refreshing to talk to. Japanese people can be very secretive and hide things but I found many Koreans at my school/work to be a bit more on my ‘wavelength’. I am moving to Korea after 4 years in Japan this year because my boyfriend wants to get engaged etc. (He’s 29 in normal years and is thinking pretty seriously). I don’t know about Koreans IN Korea that much but for me, sincerity is so important and my boyfriend (as a person) is very thoughtful, intelligent and sincere and i respect what he says. This is nothing to do with his nationality. But I wouldn’t suggest searching FOR an Asian guy. I didn’t expect to feel like this about an Asian guy to be honest (especially as I know the class system etc is a LOT stronger in Korea than Japan) but there was chemistry. BUT, you do have to learn about this culture before you make any moves. I squared it with him about his parents WAY before getting involved. You do have to make sacrifices in an international relationship and be much more selfless than before, and not apply your rules to their culture, because it doesn’t work. I’ve learnt a lot about relationships and people in these last 4 years. And from my findings, those expats that are slightly more willing to adapt and TRY and get along are the ones that last.

  26. What’s the fuss? Its way better than Asian, Eastern European, latina mail brides marrying white American guys who are 20 years older.
    Want to go to Korea? Go ahead you’ll have fun, learn some Korean first.

  27. Pingback: Express My Views #5: Response to Interracial Dating Rant (AM/BW) | NyNyOnline

  28. Hey .. actually this tap not good for me .
    Because I flirth with every boy that I want .
    I go to talk with him – if he doesn’t want that is his problem . And yes – I will go to study in USA or Canda or London and then I sure that I will findmy Cute sesexy asians boy … hum husband *^*

  29. Annyeonghaseyo,I am a black girl,looking for south korea handsome guy.I like korea language and culture and I would love to get married to a korea guy,kamsahamnida aja aja aja (fighting)(-_-)

  30. 1) I totally agree with your point. it is weird to move to another country just to find a boyfriend..I am czech and koren and taiwanese man are doing the same here:) There are not so many of them, but almost every korean girl or boy I saw here was like “Prague is very romantic. I saw Winter sonata. I think I will meet my soulmate here ” Koreans mostly end up not with czech, but another “romantic traveller” from korea…but I already met 5 guys from korea, taiwan, china, etc. who were like”I am here to learn czech and date a czech girls. You are very beautifull Can you help me with my czech?…” I thought What the hell…Ok, I like asian culture, I like asian man least some of them. But not in this way. Even Lee Min Ho would probably failed to seduce me with coming like this.

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  37. 4,5.and 6 are not that easy. You’ve got a mama’s boy who will do whatever she says, and is slave to his father wallet (who sees that as natural and will turn it on you and your kids). I’ve been here 16 years (with an 11 year relationship under my belt, with a Korean), and I have to say, your advice is somewhat OK for a short-term relationship, but has nothing to do with the reality of crossing cultures. PLUS you have to deal with the realities of Korean work culture, family style, and the fact that 75% of Korean men cheat. They blame foreigners for the spread of diseases, but really, it’s the idiot adjussis who go on business/sex tours, or visit the prostitutes here, and have unprotected sex.

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  53. I’m a Latina that spent most of my life in Sweden.
    I have heard the term exotic too many times when it comes to dating, it was only on 1 occasion that I didn’t feel like vomiting…
    But to all this I’ve ALWAYS dated interracial even if I never really paid any attention to what people meant by it. It was when I started to come over to the states I realize that it was an issue for some people thou I didn’t give a rats ass about there opinion and I still don’t.

    I’ve notice this “I want a Korean boyfriend”-trend lately and thou I watch the movies and dramas and would like to visit as vacation I don’t get the “Korean boyfriend” part.
    I just like to travel and get my passport stamp. If love come it just will bust down the door and enter your life no matter how the person looks like. Its better to just follow ones heart.

    • It’s really strange but you made me realize that since i am mixed race, all dating is interracial dating for me lmao. I’ve never met another black/thai person who wasnt related to me lol.

  54. Pingback: Express My Views #5: Response to Interracial Dating Rant (AM/BW) – nynyonline

  55. Im blasian, my moms drom Thailand and my dad’s black from American stationed there during the Vietnam war. If they could makr it work in 70s only 6 years after interracial marriage became legal in the states then it should be easy easy now. People are just sill lol

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