The “Which Asian Guy Is Right For Me?” Guide for Non-Asian Girls

Don’t cha just wish that somewhere in the universe, there existed a simple to use guide on dating? Perhaps a blog of some sort that explained the types of guys that existed, with a list of qualities, tips and bits of knowledge? Don’t cha just wish there was a section on that guide dedicated to Asian guys, and how to understand the types of Asians, be it Chinese, Filipino, or Korean? … Yea… That would be pretty cool… If only it existed.

*Sigh*

 

*POOF!*

TIS I, RANIER! I am back my friends and I bring you jewels! Jewels I tell you! JEWELS!!! Well, they aren’t exactly real jewels that you can sell, nor are they ones you can find in your undies – these are jewels of knowledge that you shall blah blah blah — let’s get this shit goin, shall we?

*IMPORTANT NOTE*

You listen here, mmkay?

I already know what’s going to happen so let me say this once again: this is written from MY perspective. No, I have never dated an Asian guy myself nor do I intend to do so. If you feel like screaming into a megaphone to make yourself feel better about me rustling your jimmies, then go ahead and stick your little mouth in a blender. Sound cool? Are you emotionally prepared to continue? Good.

The Mystical Korean Guy

Outgoing: ★★★★ (out of 5)
Kindness: ★★★
Wealth: ★★★★
Romance: ★★★
Easy-Going: ★★★

For a large portion of my life, I simply forgot that Koreans existed. I mean, I knew they lived on planet earth but I never had opportunities to interact with a ton of them – till I got to college. Then one day, a giant Korean spaceship called K-POP hovered over the planet and dropped these pods filled with Korean guys, bulgogi, and abs – lots and lots of abs.

But what are Korean guys really like? Do they all look like Taeyang? Are they break dancing in the library whilst showing off their muscles? No, not even close. Being that I work in a women’s boutique, I get a lot of female customers (hurr-durr!) who are predominately Korean with Korean husbands and boyfriends.

Based on their interactions and my own experiences talking with them, Korean guys seem to be a bit aloof. They just sit on their side of the couch, looking at their phones, not really talking to anyone. It’s almost as if they live in this confined bubble of themselves, their close friends, and their girlfriend – not really jumping out or trying to interact with others. They truly stay within the Korean circle and are proud of it.

So if you’re looking to date outside your race and join the Asian nation, perhaps the Korean guy will be a tough place to start. Even the ones that are more Americanized seem to stick to other Koreans. Also, I do know that a ton of the Korean women who shop with us are housewives – very, very rich housewives. So if you’re looking for an Asian sugar daddy, then maybe the Korean man is your calling.

How to Win-Over a Korean Dude:

After bathing in kimchi and sesame oil, throw up an Asian peace sign and pour on all of that super cheesey Aegyo.

The Korean Guy’s Non-Asian Soulmate:

Someone half-white and half-Korean.

The Two-Sided Chinese Guy

Outgoing: ★★★★ (out of 5)
Kindness: ★★
Wealth: ★★★★★
Romance: ★★
Easy-Going: ★★

There are two things you need to keep in mind when referring to Chinese guys: family and money. Chinese guys (and Chinese people in general) seem to be very influenced by their family’s opinion. So if you’re not on the positive side of their parents, consider yourself unlucky. However, this only applies to half of the Chinese guys. The other half can be incredibly Americanized and the difficulty when dating them is fairly low.

One of the aspects that I’ve found true with Chinese guys is that they have their shit together. Most of em are successful, well educated, and very opinionated. Compared to Korean guys, Chinese guys can be a little less uptight but more strict with certain aspects in dating. Unlike Korean guys – who seem very picky about whether you’re Korean or not – Chinese guys are often picky about your actual attributes, e.g., what school did you go to? What is your degree? Is your family wealthy? Are you well mannered?

How to Snag a Chinese Guy:

Get your degree in Microbiology or Business Administration, buy a Lexas or Mercedes, sit in a chair at your local Pearl Milk Tea shop, and wait patiently for the Ying to your Yang.

The Chinese Guy’s Non-Asian Soulmate:

A White girl

The Party-Rockin Vietnamese

Outgoing: ★★★★★ (out of 5)
Kindness: ★★★
Wealth: ★★
Romance: ★★★
Easy-Going: ★★★

If you’re into partying, raves, going out, and having “fun”, then the Vietnamese guy is your future drinking buddy. I hate to say it, but Viet guys are the most likely to be ghetto. Years ago, Filipino guys were the primary Asian gangsters on the block. But as the years have gone by, Filipino gangs simply faded away like an old man’s libido. Unfortunately, Viet guys have yet to receive a memo since they’re still walking around in their all black outfits and dragon tattoos whilst staring down passersby.

Though they can appear to be unfriendly, when you actually hang out with em, Viet guys can be pretty damn cool to hang out with. They’re not as rich as our Korean and Chinese brothers, but they definitely like to spend their money on “duh Elle-Vee” and other designer branded bullshit. They party like crazy, they can get a bit rowdy, and they’re fun to joke around with.

Viet guys are also known to buy their girlfriends a lot of crap – be it a hello kitty cellphone case or a Louis Vuitton toilet seat cover. But the thing to note about our fist-pumping brethren is that they are D.A.F = Down as FUCK! A Viet guy will bring a machete to your nephew’s 8th grade graduation if he knew his rival gang member were showing up. On the flip side, he would also be highly likely to protect you and call upon his 5 billion DUMAS if someone were to take a peak at your cleavage.

How to Win Over a Viet Guy:

Wear a black L.V bra while playing beer pong and accept his invitation to the next trip to EDC.

The Vietnamese Guy’s Non-Asian Soulmate:

Latinas

The Calm and Collected Japanese Guy

Outgoing: ★★★ (out of 5)
Kindness: ★★★★★
Wealth: ★★★
Romance: ★★★
Easy-Going: ★★★★

I gotta admit, Japanese guys are some of the most chill, well mannered PEOPLE on this planet. They can be very goofy and friendly yet highly professional and poised. Like Chinese and Koreans, Japanese guys can also have a lot of money yet they’re nowhere near as prudish. Whenever Japanese guys come into my store, they’re almost always buying something for their wives while they’re on a business trip. They seem to be incredibly thoughtful and respectful.

If you find yourself to be a bit on the introverted shy side, I highly recommend looking into dating a Japanese guy. Unlike American culture – which is all about more, more, more – the Japanese seem to enjoy their pleasures in life in bite-sized sections. They don’t seem as high maintenance as other guys yet they know how to have their fun. If you want a good man, Japanese is the way to go. Although, I do know that they can sometimes feel like they “wear the pants” of the relationship.

How to Summon a Japanese Guy:

Be interested in Japanese culture, be very well mannered, and be yourself. Either that or you can dress up like an Anime school girl in a latex costume and fulfill all of his crazy Japanese porn fantasies.

The Japanese Guy’s Non-Asian Soulmate:

Weeaboos”

The Laid-Back Filipino Guy

Outgoing: ★★★★ (out of 5)
Kindness: ★★★★
Wealth: ★★
Romance: ★★★
Easy-Going: ★★★★★

Finally, we arrive at destination brown-guy. I know this may sound incredibly biased but in all truth and honesty, if you are a highly Americanized girl who is more extroverted and out-going, I think the Filipino guy is your match made in heaven.

You know how the guys in those K-POP music videos all know how to sing and dance? Well, Filipino guys are pretty much the ones who do it best. I’ll say it now: Filipinos are certainly not the richest of Asians, but they are definitely the most culturally diverse and down to earth. Unlike Chinese, Korean, Japanese, and Vietnamese guys, Filipinos are one of the only Asians-Americans with very little ties to their culture.

So instead of walking around in our flip-flops speaking tagalog and eating Jollibee chicken wings, we tend to absorb the cultures surrounding us. That is why you see tons of Filipinos into hip-hop, K-Pop, Anime, and everything in between. We’re basically the Ditto of Asians: we can take the form of any and all Asians.

But the thing that resonates most when dealing with Filipino guys is their laid back personality. We brownies are the least snobby, least high maintenance, and most humorous of Asians. We’re always cracking jokes and we’d be willing to give you the shirt off our backs if you were cold enough. To me, Filipino guys are the ones you shoot for if you’re looking for a good, all-around guy.

How to Attract a Filipino Warrior:

With your feet planted firmly on the ground, belt out those notes and score a 98% on a Journey Karaoke song. After singing, go to the backyard, eat some Filipino BBQ and talk about how ridiculous that Manny Pacquiao vs Bradley split-decision was.

The Filipino Guy’s Non-Asian Soulmate:

Black Girls

The Reality Is That…

All Asians are different. The “types’ of Asians that I described simply illustrates the kinds of Asians that I’ve encountered through my own experiences. My purpose for writing this blog is to simply answer the question that many people ask: “What are (Korean/Japanese/Filipino/Vietnamese/Chinese) Guys like?” This post is a basic, if not somewhat stereotypical example of the kinds of Asians that I encounter. There is a wide variation within each and I encourage everyone reader to use this as just a starting point. Read this, get a better understanding, and go out in the world and figure out what the different types of Asians are like for your own self. Even better, go date a few!

Ranier, what about Thai’s, Cambodians, and Indonesians?

Shit if I know.

LOLOL!