Dating TIP For Asian Men: How To Show Non-Asian Women You’re Interested In Them


“Omg! Isn’t that that Asian blogger guy?!”

If you could please excuse me, I would like to take a moment to speak with my fellow Asian male brothers. We have a few business proposals to discuss. Oh, don’t worry, this won’t take long. Please, enjoy the buffet of healthy salads that we set out for you in the lobby! See you all very soon!

Me: Alright, are they gone?
Handsome/Buff Asian Security Guard: Yes, sir!

“Ma’am, will you please stop stroking my pecs?”

Alright guys, we need to talk! You see, I’ve noticed a lot of you trying to get out into the dating world. That’s fantastic. I’m proud of you — no, really, I am. However, I’ve been looking around and some of you don’t seem to get it. Some of you still feel like you’re trapped in stereotypes and that no non-Asian girl will ever date you. And to some extent, that’s kinda true. But look at your damn self! You, in the back! All you do is play Diablo 3, watch Anime and listen to K-POP – what the HELL makes you think you’ll ever get that Black Princess of your dreams?!


Yes, you, the Asian guy reading this! You say you want a German girlfriend yet the only thing interesting about you is your high score on XBOX Live? Do you guys get what I’m trying to say? No? Let me spell it out for you:

Women Want Interesting Men

Daniel Henney: Korean actor, likes to sing Jazz and is also a country boy at heart. Touche, brother, touche…

As an Asian man, you are expected to like and participate in certain activities: attend anime conventions, play MMORPGs, listen to K-POP and drive a Honda Civic. Now, I’m not trying to say that you should quit playing World of Warcraft nor am I suggesting you burn your collection of Big Bang CDs. What I am saying is that in order to be an attractive man – inside and out – you need to be attracted to multiple things. You need to have depth and variety to your interests. Think about it like this:

Which Asian Guy sounds more attractive?

Ben – a Chinese guy who works for Google, enjoys hiking, loves Ramen and is a fan of Naruto? Or…

Josh – a Chinese guy who works for Google, enjoys Boxing at the gym, loves sweet potato pie and goes Salsa dancing every week?

I know the question is subjective but the idea is that often times, your interests and experiences will dictate who you will end up dating. You like all things Asian and hate trying new foods yet you dream of dating a German girl? TOUGH SHIT. Unless that German girl just so happens to like playing Minecraft as much as you, you probably won’t catch her attention. The idea behind all of this is to make yourself worldly. Be the type of man that is unpredictable with his interests. Be the type of man who can listen to Latin Jazz on Sunday with his Mexican coworkers and go fly fishing with his White friends on Tuesday.

When I was single, I had absolutely no idea what type of girl I would end up dating. I didn’t know if she would end up being White, Latina or Black. All I knew was that if the right girl came into my life, I wanted to be ready. I wanted to take her out on dates and show her that I can relate to her in some way. She’s a Jewish Southern girl who likes going to Country music festivals? Great! I just spent a month learning and listening to Garth Brooks! She’s a Black girl from Brooklyn who sings Soul music in an Indie band? Fantastic! Sam Cooke is my new favorite artist!

So go out there! Listen to music from all over the world (from Bossanova in Brazil to Indian folk music), try all the cool restaurants in your city (the Polish deli downtown, the Ethiopian restaurant near school) and take an honest interest in various cultures and the issues and topics of interest within those cultures (Black women and their hair, Indian women and arranged marriages, etc.) You want to build yourself up, make yourself better and create the kind of man that you yourself would want to have sex with if you were a lady.

When it comes to dating, we all have our own checklist of what we want and what we’re attracted to. So what’s going to happen when a girl sees you and decides to check her list? When that time comes, are you going to fit any of her categories? Are you going to appeal to her love of watching independent films? Are you going to appreciate the writings of Langston Hughes like she does? Or are you just going to keep doing what you’re doing, not interested in other cultures, not interested in trying anything new and not interested in learning about the cultures that you so desperately wish to date. You decide.

Asian guy at a shooting range with his girlfriend.

Remember, as an Asian man you already have a lot of stereotypes going against you. People expect you to be shy and quiet. People expect you to be socially awkward and good at playing video games. But when a non-Asian girl expects to see all of that and you, an already cultured Asian man, tell her all about your adventures and interests, she’s gonna think, “Holy shit, this Asian guys is AMAZING! He’s full Asian yet he can cook authentic German food, he owns a ton of French films and he’s part of the Jamaican club at school?! DAMN, BOY! TAKE MY BODY, NOW!”

So go ahead! Go off into the world! Gain depth and experience! Run with he bulls in Spain and dance with the women at Carnaval! You don’t have to stay at home and watch Anime all day. You don’t have to be the Asian guy that everyone expects you to be! You are the goddamn master and creator of your own identity and if you wish to date Black women, go do it! If you wish to date European women, take it! Your experiences will be a bright signal that communicates, “Hey! Date me! I’m open minded!” You must understand that in order to find a worldly and intelligent woman, you need to be an equally intelligent and worldly man. Because if a non-Asian girl sees that you’re not open to other cultures, she probably will think you’re not interested in her. So please, my fellow Asian brothers, PROVE THEM WRONG!

A New Kind Of Man – The Rise Of Asian Men In Interracial Relationships

Ahhh, remember the good ole’ days of High School? A time for friendships, getting into trouble and… racial and romantic insecurities?

When I was 15 I was in a long-distance relationship with a half-Japanese half-Filipino girl who I thought I was in love with. Little did I know that while she was in 50 miles away playing on the basketball team, and I was at home cheering her on, she had been seeing another guy behind my back. And not just any guy, he was a douchey white guy.

I was confused. I didn’t even know she was into those kinds of guys. Soon after, I started to notice every other girl in my circle of friends boarding the train to “we love white boys” express. Next thing I knew, Asian girls were saying shit like “sorry, I only date White guys” or “ewww, that is soo Asian.” What the hell?! What is going on?! I have so many questions and I need answers, damnit!


Uhhhh…. okay? NEXT VIDEO!

Ahh shit! They’re everywhere! Quick, Asian guys, hide at your local Gamestop! When these videos came out six years ago coupled with the white boy virus plaguing every Asian girl in the school, it dawned on me: us Asian guys are fucked. If Asian girls won’t date us, what the hell are we gonna do? We sure as hell don’t stand a chance dating white girls, and we can FORGET about even LOOKING at black girls! BUDDHA, WHYY?!?!!?

But as I look back six years ago and contrast it to now, it’s quite remarkable. Sure, tons of Asian women still date white guys as if there’s a shortage of them, but Asian guys have definitely made some changes and cultivated their dating habits. Nowadays, I see Asian male + non-Asian female couples all over the damn place: in the mall shopping for baby clothes, at the restaurant drinking martinis and on Youtube being TOTES ADORABLE vlogs.

If Asian men were purchasable on the stock market I’d say “BUY! BUY! BUY!” because damn, we are tearin’ it up on the dating game. It’s almost like we sat down one day, scratched our head and realized, “oh snap, I’M AWESOME!” So why the change? What the hell happened within he span of six years? Did we sprout a 3rd testicle that feeds us a constant stream of confidence? Or was it something else?

You see, Asian-American men and Asian-American women are not created equal in this country. Though we share many of the same stereotypes and racial jokes, the expectations that we do not have in common are ultimately the ones that have created this change. In the US, Asian-Americans have roughly three options when it comes to fitting in:

Wanna read the article she wrote that caused a SHITSTORM? Click the picture

1. ) We can act “White” –  shop at Abercrombie and Fitch/Urban Outfitters, listen to Kings of Leon/Dubstep and attend Coachella while wearing daisy chains in our hair.

We can act “Black” – shop at Supreme and wear fitted caps, listen to underground hip-hop and join a group of choreographed hip-hop dancers.

We can act “Asian” – shop at and wear K-POP inspired outfits, listen to Utada Hikaru and join chatrooms and forums where you talk to other Asians about anime while learning how to make various emoticons (◕‿◕✿)

Now, given that there are an endless supply of Asian Men and Women who fit in category three and act Asian, we can start to break down the two groups and understand things a bit more. More often than not and despite the occasional Asian B-Girl, Asian-American women tend to act white. This is easy for them because for some reason, White girls love hanging out with Asian girls and Allah already knows that White guys would sell their baby on the black market to get a chance to be with an Asian chick. For Asian girls, white is right! White is home and ya know what? That’s alright with me! How are things lookin’ for my Asian brothers?

Asian men on the other hand tend to go the opposite way and they identify with a lot of Black culture. Most break dancers are Asian guys, Asian guys love underground hip-hop, if they sing they love to sing R&B classics and most of all, they consistently feel at odds with white culture. “But Ranier, what the hell does that mean? Not all Black people like hip-hop! YOU RACIST CHINK!”

Okay, hear me out for a second: you see, like a lot of Blacks men, Asian men just don’t feel included in white culture. We aren’t represented in their politics, their television shows or their music, so how can we relate? There are countless Asian men who have lived in predominantly white neighborhoods and have been bullied and teased all their lives for being Asian. So, naturally, as an ethnic minority they look for the closest ethnic minority that they can look up to as a role model. This is why Black men play an important role. Black Men have provided Asian men with a template for how to fit in with the rest of society. If we can learn to dance like them, sing like them and dress like them, we too can fit in. Like Pinocchio trying desperately to be a real boy, we wanted to become a real man.

And so we did. We realized that things needed to change so we learned to dress better, dance slicker and talk smoother.

Looking at it like this makes it seem all the more beautiful. To know that through the oppression of White culture on Asian Men, we have evolved into a hybrid of cultures and identities. Instead of laughing along with all the racist Asian jokes and acting like it was okay, we decided to open our mouths and say “enough.” We rejected the expectations of the nerdy, shy, socially awkward and dickless Asian boy and grew into something so fucking beautiful it makes me wanna cry tears of pure soy sauce.

Now that we’ve grown into something better, we’ve finally realized that we also deserve better. We don’t need to sit around waiting for Asian women to come around and “give us a chance,” we can simply turn to the right and talk to someone else: someone Black, someone Cuban or someone Greek. For once, we finally feel like we have options in our romantic lives and even better, women like you, my loyal readers, are talking back and saying that you want us too – and that helps even more.

Meet Jason and Kristen – An AMBW couple and fans of my blog! WOOHOO! If you have pictures of your own interracial relationship, SEND THEM TO ME!! 😀

Why Does This Matter To You?

“What am I doing with my life? Why am I not dating an Asian guy yet?!”

Now is the time for Asian Men to rise up and succeed. We are starting to see more and more Asian males join professional sports, the music and entertainment industry and more importantly, Asian men who feel a renewed sense of confidence to be all of the above. You say I’m a nerd? Well guess what? I’m a nerd with a college degree, a high paying job and a smokin’ hot girlfriend! Within the ensuing years we will all witness a huge shift in Asian men broadening their horizons, reaching for different careers, attaining massive wealth and making a name for themselves in the world. And as women who enjoy dating them, you can help us to redefine an entire community of men looking for something greater in this world. We’re trying to become better men, and we would love to stand atop of the world, side-by-side with a woman like you.

So to all my Asian brothers, rise up, grab your balls, say it loud and say it proud:


“For once in my life I have someone who needs me
Someone I’ve needed so long
For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I’ll be strong”