Dating TIP For Asian Men: How To Show Non-Asian Women You’re Interested In Them


“Omg! Isn’t that that Asian blogger guy?!”

If you could please excuse me, I would like to take a moment to speak with my fellow Asian male brothers. We have a few business proposals to discuss. Oh, don’t worry, this won’t take long. Please, enjoy the buffet of healthy salads that we set out for you in the lobby! See you all very soon!

Me: Alright, are they gone?
Handsome/Buff Asian Security Guard: Yes, sir!

“Ma’am, will you please stop stroking my pecs?”

Alright guys, we need to talk! You see, I’ve noticed a lot of you trying to get out into the dating world. That’s fantastic. I’m proud of you — no, really, I am. However, I’ve been looking around and some of you don’t seem to get it. Some of you still feel like you’re trapped in stereotypes and that no non-Asian girl will ever date you. And to some extent, that’s kinda true. But look at your damn self! You, in the back! All you do is play Diablo 3, watch Anime and listen to K-POP – what the HELL makes you think you’ll ever get that Black Princess of your dreams?!


Yes, you, the Asian guy reading this! You say you want a German girlfriend yet the only thing interesting about you is your high score on XBOX Live? Do you guys get what I’m trying to say? No? Let me spell it out for you:

Women Want Interesting Men

Daniel Henney: Korean actor, likes to sing Jazz and is also a country boy at heart. Touche, brother, touche…

As an Asian man, you are expected to like and participate in certain activities: attend anime conventions, play MMORPGs, listen to K-POP and drive a Honda Civic. Now, I’m not trying to say that you should quit playing World of Warcraft nor am I suggesting you burn your collection of Big Bang CDs. What I am saying is that in order to be an attractive man – inside and out – you need to be attracted to multiple things. You need to have depth and variety to your interests. Think about it like this:

Which Asian Guy sounds more attractive?

Ben – a Chinese guy who works for Google, enjoys hiking, loves Ramen and is a fan of Naruto? Or…

Josh – a Chinese guy who works for Google, enjoys Boxing at the gym, loves sweet potato pie and goes Salsa dancing every week?

I know the question is subjective but the idea is that often times, your interests and experiences will dictate who you will end up dating. You like all things Asian and hate trying new foods yet you dream of dating a German girl? TOUGH SHIT. Unless that German girl just so happens to like playing Minecraft as much as you, you probably won’t catch her attention. The idea behind all of this is to make yourself worldly. Be the type of man that is unpredictable with his interests. Be the type of man who can listen to Latin Jazz on Sunday with his Mexican coworkers and go fly fishing with his White friends on Tuesday.

When I was single, I had absolutely no idea what type of girl I would end up dating. I didn’t know if she would end up being White, Latina or Black. All I knew was that if the right girl came into my life, I wanted to be ready. I wanted to take her out on dates and show her that I can relate to her in some way. She’s a Jewish Southern girl who likes going to Country music festivals? Great! I just spent a month learning and listening to Garth Brooks! She’s a Black girl from Brooklyn who sings Soul music in an Indie band? Fantastic! Sam Cooke is my new favorite artist!

So go out there! Listen to music from all over the world (from Bossanova in Brazil to Indian folk music), try all the cool restaurants in your city (the Polish deli downtown, the Ethiopian restaurant near school) and take an honest interest in various cultures and the issues and topics of interest within those cultures (Black women and their hair, Indian women and arranged marriages, etc.) You want to build yourself up, make yourself better and create the kind of man that you yourself would want to have sex with if you were a lady.

When it comes to dating, we all have our own checklist of what we want and what we’re attracted to. So what’s going to happen when a girl sees you and decides to check her list? When that time comes, are you going to fit any of her categories? Are you going to appeal to her love of watching independent films? Are you going to appreciate the writings of Langston Hughes like she does? Or are you just going to keep doing what you’re doing, not interested in other cultures, not interested in trying anything new and not interested in learning about the cultures that you so desperately wish to date. You decide.

Asian guy at a shooting range with his girlfriend.

Remember, as an Asian man you already have a lot of stereotypes going against you. People expect you to be shy and quiet. People expect you to be socially awkward and good at playing video games. But when a non-Asian girl expects to see all of that and you, an already cultured Asian man, tell her all about your adventures and interests, she’s gonna think, “Holy shit, this Asian guys is AMAZING! He’s full Asian yet he can cook authentic German food, he owns a ton of French films and he’s part of the Jamaican club at school?! DAMN, BOY! TAKE MY BODY, NOW!”

So go ahead! Go off into the world! Gain depth and experience! Run with he bulls in Spain and dance with the women at Carnaval! You don’t have to stay at home and watch Anime all day. You don’t have to be the Asian guy that everyone expects you to be! You are the goddamn master and creator of your own identity and if you wish to date Black women, go do it! If you wish to date European women, take it! Your experiences will be a bright signal that communicates, “Hey! Date me! I’m open minded!” You must understand that in order to find a worldly and intelligent woman, you need to be an equally intelligent and worldly man. Because if a non-Asian girl sees that you’re not open to other cultures, she probably will think you’re not interested in her. So please, my fellow Asian brothers, PROVE THEM WRONG!

20 thoughts on “Dating TIP For Asian Men: How To Show Non-Asian Women You’re Interested In Them

  1. Very well said. Another problem with a lot of Asian guys is that they tend to hang around in all-Asian friendship groups/social circles. This is gives off an ethnocentric vibe and puts them off to potential non-Asian girls that might be interested in them, because it implies the guy shuts himself off to other races and cultures and wish to only date within his own kind. Get out there and meet new people, keep your social circles mixed and multicultural!

    And I wonder if anyone would believe me that I’m an Asian guy who’s never touched world of warcraft and have absolutely no clue of what it entails (nor the desire to).

  2. Enjoyed the article. Most of the Asians that I have had the pleasure of knowing are most comfortable being with their own. The only way I was able to penetrate their comfort zone was to join in the whatever was going on. I speak some Mandarin so that’s my Ice breaker at times, They are shocked that I can have a conversation with them, or even knowledgeable about their culture. In some cases, I’ve been told that I’m more Asian than them, lol.

    If the guy can step out of his comfort zone, he as made one step. His next big step is being with someone that is non-Asian and not worrying about what people will say. You can’t judge a person by the color of their skin, it’s who they are on the inside that counts.

  3. I know this article is not for me but this is so true I’m not going to know your interested in me if you don’t let me know in a respectful way. I don’t want a shy Asian guy I’m attracted to Asian men who is in control and know what they want. I never seen Asian guys in my circle only Asian woman isn’t that ironic? The whole point of getting into the Asian social circles was to meet my ideal guy. I wish you guys wasn’t so shy or I wish I was your type. I know I’m not ugly lol!

  4. I’m European woman and I found my dream guy. And he happens to be Asian.

    Yeah, ok, he was extremely shy, but I just didn’t let him. 🙂 He is a very interesting person, he’s interested in many things and knows a lot, and we just have so much in common. And after a while, I even convinced him to play MMORPGs with me. 😀 We have so much fun together.

    It’s good advice you give, but I don’t think they need to make an effort to pursue interests girls might have. They just need to make an effort to pursue interests they are passionate about and a girl who shares them will come along.

    • Oegukeen is right,

      If you’re doing an activity JUST to pursue some white girl, it’s not going to be fun, it’s going to be a chore, it’s will just be a waste of time.

      If you’re pursuing your passion, and doing whatever you find happy, then the girls will come to you.

  5. I actually found my dream guy at an anime convention, and he’s Chinese! But, you see, he’s way more interested in American comic books and Western RPGs while I’m here with my dating sims and KPOP boybands.

    We know we’re opposites but that’s what attracted us to each other. He’s way more outgoing and I’m actually pretty shy offline. However, even though we’re very different, we love spending with one another because we watch movies and try different things. Not only do we learn more about each other as we go along but we end up becoming even closer.

    I think it’s a good thing have common ground, of course, but I think I love these surprises a lot more!

    • Ah! So glad you found the post, Jae Jin! You are doing fantastic work and I look forward to more of your music! Keep it up, brother!

    • Are you seriously the singer in the video? I think that is best serenade I have seen! I feel in love. you sing well and with such appropriate emotion. Saved to my YouTube favorites. I wish to hear more of you.

  6. Ok. I don’t mind if he plays minecraft…I play skyrim…but in the end I am personally attracted to inteligent people. An interesting person could be really sexy.

  7. This Article is very helpful for me as Latina and Woman. Because here where I live are Asian people is really rare…. I just see the Tourists….So, i think the Asian Men are complicated here in Europe(Switzerland) . I don’t hate them or so. I am interesting to learn more about their Culture.

  8. Hi,
    i was just wondering i’m an Asian dude but i live in Europe, the Netherlands. I’m 16 years old btw and I only have non Asian friends.
    I haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet. I have had a crush on two girls but they didn’t like me as a possible boyfriend even though they liked me as a person. I’m one of the few who never gotten a girlfriend before and was wondering what i possible do wrong. I’m am not a shy person in any case and love to socialize. Also they say i’m not bad looking. Could it be because in the Netherlands there are less asian peeps or is it something else.

    • talk to the girls online, chances are they like you, but are afraid of the social stigma of white girls being with asian men i.e. the retaliation they will get in their social circles if they are seen romantically with you.

  9. Me (im latina) and my hubs (he is south East Asian) are totally different. I’m more of an indoor person and conservative, he is the outdoorsy type of guy, social butterfly, very straightforward. I love that we are so different because we sorta teach each other new stuff, he got me into camping and hiking, and well, now he does the cooking (which I love) and we watch more movies at home like I used to when I was single.
    He likes the fact that I’m very quiet and peaceful to be with, always reading before going to bed etc, and I like the fact that he can always make everyone pee of laughing, he is caring, and supportive. It’s such a blessing to have found him.

  10. Hm. You know, I disagree with going out of your way to get someone to be interested in you. They should like you, for you, not because of how interested you are to the point you are trying to mould yourself to fit their liking. I’m not saying it’s bad to try and learn someone else’s culture or traditions, but that should be a by-product of you wanting to get to know that person and not because you want them to like you.

    • You will pay property tax on the value of your unit but not the space you rent. Your tax bill should show only immetveprnos, not land. Based on the market in California, your current appraisal should be less than last years.

  11. I would like to get in touch with à man fromChina, Thailand or any other place In the neighbourhoo.
    I amEuropean
    With an higher educatio
    I san sonsons to be glose to
    Something for uou?

  12. Hi thanks for featuring me and my husband in your piece. I am the girl in the blue dress. That is one of our engagement photos. He is a very private man so I will not let him see this. Our picture has been circulating around without our permission. Since I follow your blog could you please note under the picture that it is not to be used without permission? I would greatly appreciate it.

    Esther & Jaison

  13. Hi, I’m the 3rd (are there others here, too?) Esther commenting on this post…. Thank you for the lovely salad buffet; it was delicious. I followed all the ladies forming a line to comment here.
    I found this blog featured on another blog. The blog author did a piece on huffpo about racism and her interracial relationship, I think. I’m already learning a lot here, and having fun and enjoying the wittiness of its posts. (Btw, you guys are an adorable, great-looking couple).
    I’m Korean-American and single, and I find learning about Asian culture and also interracial relationships fascinating. I don’t have a personal racial preference for dating. I found the first Ben more attractive and more interesting to me. I think I based the choice due to my personality. Maybe it’s because I love geeky guys and first Ben somehow seemed more nerdy. Does this mean (I am on an Asian guy’s blog about relationships, after all) I like Ben #1 more because he sounded more culturally similar to myself? Maybe I am attracted to someone more like him because he sounded like he’d have a more comfortable, familiar feel to me, like someone I’d know growing up at my Korean church? I wondered if this meant I liked a guy who acts Asian? But that just sounds weird to me and I really didn’t think that’s what I wanted. My dream is to find a Ben #1 who is “shy…quiet…socially awkward and good at playing video games” and “stay(s) at home and watch(es) Anime all day. ” But I reaaaally don’t care if that Ben is Asian. (Again, I understand and appreciate the fact that I’m the opposite audience for this entry: a dating tip encouraging the 1. Asian male brothers 2. interested in Non-Asian Women; but, could you blame me for being intrigued, then? Also, I get the point of this entry was to help the guys become and appear their more open-minded selves.)
    Thank you for the interesting your interesting blog post. Reading it made me think and brought up many questions for me about myself to discover.

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