The other day I came across this photo of Barack Obama with his extended family. Notice anything?
HELLA ASIANS UP IN HERE! Upon further investigation I was SHOCKED to find out just how Asian Barack truly was. Could it be? Could it be that Asians aren’t just Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Nurses, and Pharmacists? Could we actually be… THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?! Here is definitive proof that our 44th President is indeed a full blown Asian.
1. His Mother re-married an Indonesian man
Obama spent a few years in Indonesia and his step-father was Indonesian. Now, I’m not the most experienced when it comes to Indonesian people but I do know this: they’re brown like me, they probably like eating meat and rice, and they most likely sing Karaoke – so you KNOW Barack indulged in some of that!
2. His Sister is half-Indonesian
You already know Obama and his sister grew up on Anime. YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS!
3. His sister married a Chinese man
Uhhh, hello? Asian Brother-in-Law = Blasian hangouts! The two of them probably drink Ramune, eat pocky sticks, and gossip about how much they like Hawaii Five-O.
4. His half-Brother married a Chinese woman
OH COME ON!! Obama is so Asian when he breathes he smells like Oyster sauce. His brother can even be seen online wearing traditional Asian clothes and you know, YOU KNOW Obama walks around the White House wearing it too.
5. He loves a good MMO RPG
Here’s a photo of Obama playing Starcraft with his online friends, Young Ji and Seonghee. He’s probably winning.
6. He knows how to do “The Asian Bow”
If you read my last post about “How to do the Asian Bow” then you’ll notice that Obama is an expert. He knows not to look into the eyes, bow low, and keep his feet together. HIS FORM IS IMPECCABLE.
7. Obama loves taking selfies
Originally, this picture was of Obama throwing up an Asian peace sign but his buddy didn’t think it was Kawaii enough. Whatever, man…
8. Obama enjoys a good K-Pop marathon
Mr. President has often been spotted watching re-runs of Flower Boy Ramen shop though his favorite pastime is keeping himself updated on the latest K-Pop stars.
9. He’s a big FOODIE
Asians are the biggest, most obnoxious foodies in the world – and so is Obama. President Barack Obama also has a private instagram where he photographs his meals and posts captions like, “nom nom nom” and ” yummy! ^__^”
10. He LOOVES shaved ice
Maybe it’s the Hawaiin in him, or maybe he’s just HELLA ASIAN LIKE THAT. You see, Asians are too cheap and lazy to turn on the air conditioner because they’re afraid of getting a high gas bill. Instead, they eat shaved ice. It’s cheaper, and it tastes like childhood memories and success.
11. Did I mention he LOVES shaved ice?
There’s an infinite supply of photos of Obama eating shaved ice. He’s totes addicted.
12. He’s always chillin’ with his fellow Asian brothers and sisters
Here he is in Korea with his buddies discussing where to go for good Bibimbap.
Now he’s meeting the president of the Philippines, Benigno Aquino, as they shake hands and agree to a Karaoke battle. I think Obama won after that killer rendition of Richard Marx’s “Right here waiting.”
13. Mr. President loves making noodles
I always thought of myself as a noodle expert, but Barack takes it to the extreme: he hires his Chinese noodle buddies to make it for him fresh. That’s dedication!
14. He loves making corny word puns
Asians love making word puns. Here he is whispering a good one into Michelle’s ear.
Barack: Knock Knock
Michelle: Who’s there?
Michelle: Pho who?
Barack: Gurll, your body looks un-PHO-gettable!
15. Barack has those beautiful Asian eyes
YOUR MIND HAS BEEN BLOWN.