Why You Suck At Interracial Dating: You Want Him To Look Asian But Act “Caucasian”

As a professional Internetz navigator, I have learned to develop a thick skin for stupid comments. Youtube comments, Facebook comments, and yes, WorldStarHipHop comments. I avoid responding to idiotic comments since I have zero patience to debate the logistics of blackface with a 34-year old manlet from Kentucky. In rare instances, a comment or two will jolt through my system and I’ll feel a sudden urge to speak up.

This was one of those instances.

ITALIAN

I get it, she had a blast with Mr. Italy – that’s cool! Heck, that guy could have treated her out to Sizzler on an early bird special and finished the night eating a cannoli out of her cornhole – WHO KNOWS?! But why the comparison? Why do Asian men need to learn a lesson from Italian Men? And why am I so upset about this minor, no-need-to-worry comment that could have been flicked like the booger it was? Simple: a lot of people who date interracially fail to understand the qualities of an ethnic group because they’re constantly comparing it to others.

This is a driving force as to why people think Asians are shy, Blacks are aggressive, and Latinas are sex-crazy. Instead of appreciating the aspects of one culture as a unique and individual category, they constantly weigh it against a particular standard (which is generally White, Western culture.) They may see a cute Asian guy who failed to maintain eye contact and they’ll propagate, “ugh! He’s so shy! Why can’t he be like White guys and just look at me?!” Instead, she could have asked, “Does he come from a place where eye contact is disrespectful? Is eye contact only reserved for close friends and lovers? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

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“He grabbed by boob 8 times. But why? Wait… isn’t 8 a lucky number in China? SWEET!”

Too often I see this comparison made. It’s almost as if people wanna date Asians but are secretly looking for all the characteristics of a Southern White guy or a New York Black guy (whatever the hell that means.) This makes just as much sense as visiting the local Sushi bar, ordering a spicy tuna roll only to complain, “ugh! this tastes nothing like a bacon double cheeseburger!”

Furthermore, I think there’s another discreet yet equally damaging effect that develops when you’re always measuring the quality of cultures in reference to another: language. Asians guys are timid compared to Blacks. Black women are ratchet compared to Asians. Asian women are docile compared to Whites. White men are more stable than Latinos. These note cards organized in our compendium of language, though tiny and modest in appearance, begin to construct a dictionary used to define that ethnic group.

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Sadly, THIS was how America used to compare and define its members…

It starts to turn into: Asian guys aren’t just more timid compared to blacks, they ARE timid by definition. But are they? As easy as it is to view Asian men as too shy or too weak and that they need to “learn from Italian men,” couldn’t that same Asian man say, “that Black girl was too aggressive and too violent for my taste”? While she’s swooning over Mr. Italy’s generosity and canoli-eating skills, what if he’s looking back at her as easy and gullible compared to Italian girls?

Why It Matters

"Oh hey there! I'm just about to pour you some tea!"

“Oh hey there! You’re just in time for a nice cup of tea!”

In your quest to find love outside the colored box you were drawn into, you will meet someone. You’ll meet a great man or woman and they’ll be the opposite of you with hair that feels lighter, eyes that look darker, or skin that tastes sweeter. They may may be concerned about different political issues or social issues, have contrasting expectations for who does the dishes or an assorted  opinion on how loud is loud when talking on the phone.

These are some of the moments you might expect from an interracial relationship.

Moments when your expectations collide with theirs. If you’ve listened to what I was trying to say, if you know how to accept the beauty and the individuality and the specificity of each culture as they are, without lamenting over how right or wrong it is compared to your own culture or another, if you can do that you’ll not only be equipped with the knowledge of interracial dating 101, but you won’t fret over a collision of cultures because you managed to find harmony between them.

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15 Reasons Why Barack Obama Is Actually Asian

The other day I came across this photo of Barack Obama with his extended family. Notice anything?

HELLA ASIANS UP IN HERE! Upon further investigation I was SHOCKED to find out just how Asian Barack truly was. Could it be? Could it be that Asians aren’t just Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Nurses, and Pharmacists? Could we actually be… THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?! Here is definitive proof that our 44th President is indeed a full blown Asian.

1. His Mother re-married an Indonesian man

Obama spent a few years in Indonesia and his step-father was Indonesian. Now, I’m not the most experienced when it comes to Indonesian people but I do know this: they’re brown like me, they probably like eating meat and rice, and they most likely sing Karaoke – so you KNOW Barack indulged in some of that!

2. His Sister is half-Indonesian

You already know Obama and his sister grew up on Anime. YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS!

3. His sister married a Chinese man

Uhhh, hello? Asian Brother-in-Law = Blasian hangouts! The two of them probably drink Ramune, eat pocky sticks, and gossip about how much they like Hawaii Five-O.

4. His half-Brother married a Chinese woman

OH COME ON!! Obama is so Asian when he breathes he smells like Oyster sauce. His brother can even be seen online wearing traditional Asian clothes and you know, YOU KNOW Obama walks around the White House wearing it too.

5. He loves a good MMO RPG

Here’s a photo of Obama playing Starcraft with his online friends, Young Ji and Seonghee. He’s probably winning.

6. He knows how to do “The Asian Bow”

If you read my last post about “How to do the Asian Bow” then you’ll notice that Obama is an expert. He knows not to look into the eyes, bow low, and keep his feet together. HIS FORM IS IMPECCABLE.

7. Obama loves taking selfies

Originally, this picture was of Obama throwing up an Asian peace sign but his buddy didn’t think it was Kawaii enough. Whatever, man…

8. Obama enjoys a good K-Pop marathon

Mr. President has often been spotted watching re-runs of Flower Boy Ramen shop though his favorite pastime is keeping himself updated on the latest K-Pop stars.

9. He’s a big FOODIE

Asians are the biggest, most obnoxious foodies in the world – and so is Obama. President Barack Obama also has a private instagram where he photographs his meals and posts captions like, “nom nom nom” and ” yummy! ^__^”

10. He LOOVES shaved ice

Maybe it’s the Hawaiin in him, or maybe he’s just HELLA ASIAN LIKE THAT. You see, Asians are too cheap and lazy to turn on the air conditioner because they’re afraid of getting a high gas bill. Instead, they eat shaved ice. It’s cheaper, and it tastes like childhood memories and success.

11. Did I mention he LOVES shaved ice?

There’s an infinite supply of photos of Obama eating shaved ice. He’s totes addicted.

12. He’s always chillin’ with his fellow Asian brothers and sisters

Here he is in Korea with his buddies discussing where to go for good Bibimbap.

Now he’s meeting the president of the Philippines, Benigno Aquino, as they shake hands and agree to a Karaoke battle. I think Obama won after that killer rendition of Richard Marx’s “Right here waiting.”

13. Mr. President loves making noodles

I always thought of myself as a noodle expert, but Barack takes it to the extreme: he hires his Chinese noodle buddies to make it for him fresh. That’s dedication!

14. He loves making corny word puns

Asians love making word puns. Here he is whispering a good one into Michelle’s ear.
Barack: Knock Knock
Michelle:
Who’s there?
Barack: Pho
Michelle: Pho who?
Barack: Gurll, your body looks un-PHO-gettable!

15. Barack has those beautiful Asian eyes

YOUR MIND HAS BEEN BLOWN.

The Love Life of an Asian Guy – Ep. 4: I Liked It, So I Put A (Promise) Ring On It

Haven’t posted a vlog in awhile, despite the fact that I’ve been sitting on video clips from both my Birthday AND our 1 year anniversary. Oh, did I mention that Livi and I have been together for over a year, and still going as strong as ever?

Yeaeaa buddyy! 😎

The Love Life of an Asian Guy – Ep. 3: Cars, Crepes and Coats

It’s weird: I’ve ALWAYS wanted to post vlogs on youtube but for the longest time, I always felt insecure in front of the camera. So to have this series actually progress and continue is quite a shock. I think what made me get over this insecurity was the reality that these vlogs are about US as a couple, and not me. From then on, it was smooth sailin’.

Anywho, this is just a little vlog on what we’ve been up to. Enjoy!

The Love Life of an Asian Guy – Episode 2: Sweets and Sushi

After the positive feedback from our last video, we decided to post another! I also considered one of the comments stating that the background music was too loud so for this one, I took it out while we were talking. Hope you enjoy this series of videos and all of the ones that are coming soon! Our posting schedule will probably occur once a week, maybe even more.

Enjoy! 😀

Don’t forget to watch in HD!

The Love Life Of An Asian Guy – VLOG Edition! – Episode 1: Hookey

One of the things that always irritated me and Livi were the posts made by Asian Male + Black Female couples saying how “taboo” they were. They paraded their relationship around like it was some rare Pokemon that everyone had to know about. Does that even make goddamn sense? If you’re looking to be treated equally, why single yourself out? That’s like trying to sneak into a movie while shouting out “OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M DOING THIS!”

So to combat those types of posts, I wanted to capture the type of “AMBW” relationship that I myself have. I want to show you that in my relationship with Livi, there aren’t any ethnic struggles, family members hating on our race, etc etc. We’re just two people madly in love with each other, with a love for great food, sweet sweets, and quality time with each other. In all honesty, this wasn’t really planned. I was just supposed to take pictures but I decided to turn the camera dial to video.

Let me know what you think, and if you wanna see more!

The Koreans are taking over THE WORLD! (yay!)

A few months ago, I stopped by my friend Lance’s house to hang out with some old high school friends. We talked about girls, school, work, and other miscellaneous things. But 15 minutes into the conversation they all started speaking some random alien language that I was unfamiliar with:

SHUT... UP! NO WAY!

Lance: Dude, did you hear about Jaebum?!
Josh: OMG no! What happened?!
Annie: He left 2pm!
Lance: Yea! I just read it on soompi and-
Josh: What’s going to happen to 2pm now?!

Puzzled by who Jaebum was and whether or not 2pm was a soft drink or a t.v show, I interjected and said “What are you guys talking about?” It seemed like the question hit them 5 seconds after I asked;  and then they all turned to me in unison and said “It’s Korean stuff. ” Hmmm…Okay? I left the room feeling a little dumb and went to play some video games.

After a good ten minutes of playing games I started to wonder: who the hell were they were talking about? And why were they talking about Korean stuff? Little did I know that this one incident would later fester into a raging form of Korean Leprosy. A month or so later, EVERYONE was into Korean culture!

WHAT THE FUCK IS A KOREAN?! I mean shit, I like to consider myself a very knowledgeable Asian guy who knows the difference between Chinese, Japanese, and Vietnamese people –  but for some weird reason, I never cared to delve into Korean culture. The extent of my knowledge was limited to Korean BBQ and Kim Jong Ill and his fabulous sunglasses.

What was once a simple interest to my friend Lance  later became what I called an obsession. For christ’s sake, he even grew his hair out in order for it to look more Korean! I was shocked! It was like a zombie invasion had hit the city and now, my best friend was infected! Do I shoot him in the face or let him cultivate this Korean identity? But nay! Like any good friend, I decided to see for myself what this Korean shit was all about. So here it is, I’m goin’ in…

Korean Music/K-Pop


To illustrate how little I knew of Korean culture, I have this Asian cd that I absolutely love. I listen to it all the time for it’s R&B melodies and Pop tunes. However, I had no idea that what I was listening to was Korean music! But apparently, a lot of Korean music is pretty damn good. Sure, I’m not a big fan of all the K-Pop out there but technically speaking, I’m not a fan of Pop music in general.

Personally, I would rather shove a 4lb golden Dildo into my ears than to listen to such horrendous music as Justin Bieber. But in the world of K-Pop, things aren’t so bad. I’m all for Asian identity and I’m a big advocate in improving the image of Asian men in the media, so to see these tall, good looking Asian guys sing well and dance well, was really making me a happy man. And besides, have you seen the quality of the music videos?

K-Pop might not be my favorite cup of tea but it is quite enjoyable – and a lot more enjoyable than the McMusic that Americans are so notorious for producing. However, I gotta admit: Them Koreans can SANG! Them Koreans can also dance! Not to mention, the Korean girls in those videos are prit-tee damn cute ; which brings me to my next point:

Korean girls are fuckin BEAUTIFUL!

Granted that Women of every color can be beautiful (and I don’t mean it in a Barney “inner beauty” kind of way, I really do mean it), I think Korean girls have got it goin on. First off, they are what I like to call “hybrids”. In my opinion, Asian women come in different sizes and shapes. Some of them are tall, and some of them short. Some of them have big tits, and some of them are perfectly normal. But one of the things I look at is where they are placed on the image level.

Japanese girls are famous for being quirky and adorable. Chinese girls are sophisticated and straight forward. However, Korean girls are a good mix of Japanese and Chinese: they’re Sophisticated yet quirky. They know when to act professional yet at the same time, they know how to turn up the Asian-ness to a level 11 **Y^_^Y*

There’s more to Korean food than BBQ


When most people think of Korean food, they refer to things such as BBQ. Like Americans (who eat loads of grilled meat and bacon and cheeseburgers and..) Koreans also eat food off the grill. While most people enjoy their smoked delicious BBQ, I enjoy their wet and warm goodness: soups. A big sector of Korean cuisine lies within soups and stews.

From the king of soups, Gom Tang (Ox bone soup), to the cold noodles in Naeng Myun, the food has a very earthy yet familiar feel. There are lots of complex flavors and the idea of DIY cooking/seasoning seems to resonate throughout the food. But as always, Kimchi is Marlon Brando – it’s the godfather. You eat it with rice, you eat it with soup! You eat it in a house and you eat it with a mouse! Bottom line, Korean food is fuckin great; and if you’re looking for a balance between the savory-ness of Chinese food and the simplistic freshness of Japanese, Korean is a good compromise.

So why are Koreans so important?

For those of you who were up to date with my Facebook posts, I mentioned that I was going a full 4 days as a “Korean”. This meant that I ate Korean food (breakfast/lunch/ dinner), listened to Korean music, and dressed like one as well. I even grew my hair out to accentuate the image. So what exactly did I get out of all of this? What the fuck is Korean culture? And why should you and I give a shit?

In case you haven’t noticed, Koreans are rising up in the economy. Their impact has even lead to a great increase in sales from Korean car company, Hyundai. Their food is gaining incredible momentum and Korean celebrities are amassing TONS AND TONS of devoted fans here in America. Yes. White girls listening to K-Pop. Fuckin bananas right? (haha..fucking Bananas…)

Fuck "universal appeal"

But the most important issue to me is this: Asian Americans have no role models in American media. The last remnants of an Asian idol died awhile ago, when Hollywood decided to cast a potato head (white guy) as the leading character in the Dragonball movie. From that moment on, we had nothing. Bruce lee is dead and Jackie Chan is off making movies for more potato heads.

We simply don’t exist. But here comes Korea, and their giant cultural industry. They bring us food, they bring us music. They bring us beautiful girls, and good looking guys. And in return, millions of Asians flock to their doorsteps to watch and be amazed. For once, we see ourselves in a positive light. For once, we’re not some Asian nerd, or an Asian whore submitting to the will of some American war “hero”. For once, we’re desired. For once, we feel important.


So for all the people out there trying to be Korean, honestly, I approve. If the only way, as an Asian American, to find positive role models is to seek out the celebrities of other cultures, then I approve. If making your hair more Korean makes you more confident, and brings out the best in you, then FUCK EVERYONE ELSE! Go do it! If you’re a 16 year old girl shopping for a girls generation outfit to make yourself feel beautiful, then DO IT, GIRL!

American media gave up on us a long time ago. Although we exist in fragments here and there, we aren’t represented in television and movies as equally as we should. So I welcome Korea, with open arms, to come and dominate our media. And yea, FUCK AMERICAN MEDIA! VIVA LA KOREANS, BITCH!

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Lee Hyori, please be my Seoul mate ^_^