Fu Man “Who?” – Understanding The Complex Emotions Of Being An Asian-American Man

In a lot of ways our computers, video games, and homework have all been a great distraction for us Asian Men. A porcelain tub we lean back in with eyes closed, dunking our cold and pale bodies as the water blurs our vision and capsizes our eardrums till we can’t hear or see the outside world’s bullshit. We log in, check out, and let all the voices of society silence themselves to sleep while we level up our way to emotional bliss. We escape the pain.

Asian guys are nerds who stay on the computer all the time.

AngryAsianMan-Laptop

I hate watching American sitcoms, they so rarely reflect the families us Asians grew up with. Most of us Whiz Kids were crafted in a factory that churned out star children; PhD machines who studied and calculated their way to an American dream that wasn’t even ours, but our parents’. It isn’t the dream we wanted but we still did it. Robots aren’t trained to think or decide for themselves. If you aren’t taught to value your own opinions and aspirations then what use is there in having feelings of your own? Feelings get you in trouble because feelings get in the way of The American Dram. You can’t do that.

My Asian ex-boyfriend never opened up to me.

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Asian American boys: the bastards of America. Our fathers are off on different shores in distant countries with wives and kids we never met, or up to their necks in TsingTao till their eyes turn red, or buried under a hundred other “gook” bodies that litter the the soils of the Korean and Vietnam War. So you take these fatherless children and expect them to become men yet you deny them the opportunity to see any Asian father figure on the T.V screen they’re cemented in front of. The screens they spend hours and hours in front of. To America it’s a mirror but to us it’s a screen that doesn’t look back. We keep looking but we still can’t find ourselves.

Why are Asian guys so weak and timid? They need to man up!

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What happens inside those tiny glowing screens? Like the sight of a thousand Chinese railroad workers hammering a steel nail into the ground the American message is simple and repeated over and over through caricatures and violent acts of racism: your father was no man, you are no man, and your kids will never be a man. Go home, little boy. You do not belong in the land of giants. Your voice does not matter because your voice isn’t loud enough.

This Asian guy I like won’t tell me if he likes me back. Why isn’t he speaking to me?

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The problem with being an Asian American Man is that you are stuck at a fork in the road but you’ve been told to stay still: while America tugs on your sense of identity and masculinity you want to push back and voice your concerns. But how do you teach a group of men to SPEAK UP when they were raised to politely raise their hands? How do you untangle these robot wires and let these men feel? We may ace and code our way to a middle-class but given the open floor beneath our feet where no one is willing to see us– not Asian women, not other men, not even Asians from Asia – what difference does it make what we think? It’s like we’re still on that railroad pounding away at the ground. This is our life.

I give up on Asian Men. 

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Asian Men are a complex and intricate group of individuals. Our own mental and emotional struggles are folded under our pillow by our unrelenting desire to succeed. To prove our worth to our parents that we can do it. That their efforts to cross those seas were not in vain. Dad, I can do it. Mom, I’ll make you proud. But when the the duty of your family pulls us to the right, the hunger to find our own identity yanks to the left, societal pressure drags us down, and the women who love us want us to stand up, we are bound to rip apart like a paper doll being fed into a room with paper shredders on all four walls.

I don’t understand Asian Men.

And you never will…

Because we don’t understand either.

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Asian Guy Confessions: I F*CKING LOVE My Black Girlfriend’s Natural Hair!!!

Oh, me from 2010. So young, so inexperienced yet so full of optimism.

I remember three years ago I wrote a blog called “Asian guy speaks: I think Black Women have Sexy Hair!” which became an instant hit. Black women from all over the internet came flooding my way to thank me for speaking my mind and being so candid about my feelings towards their natural hair. So what do I think now, now that I actually am with a Black woman who has natural hair? Are my opinions still the same or do I have any hidden secrets woven in between?

My Natural Haired Goddess

LOOK AT HER GORGEOUS HAIR! Now look at mine! Don’t our hairstyles make a cute couple? HELLL YEAA THEY DO!

This is my extraordinarily gorgeous girlfriend, Livi.

Livi has been all natural for most of her life and as her boyfriend I couldn’t be happier. I love the way her hair catches the light in the sun, the fruity smell from the products that she uses (well, most of the products at least) and I especially adore the variety of styles that she manages to pull off. You see, some guys don’t have the patience for the whole ‘girls spending hours and hours on their hair’ kind of thing. However, I’m an Asian guy who actually cares about not looking like William Hung so I devote my sweet minutes to curing and crafting my head of hair. I blow dry it, comb it, add product, style it more, add more product then top it off with hair spray. In many ways, Livi can actually be faster at doing her hair than me — which she teases me about.

Unlike me and my sacred hairdo ritual before school, Livi spends most of her time preparing her hair the night before. Jojoba oil this, argan oil that and a host of creams and butters that would make Paula Deen salivate. Sometimes it can get a bit messy with her products all over the counter but it’s not a big deal, I’m used to it. She truly does spend a good amount of time on her hair but I get it — natural hair is far more high maintenance than Asian hair and I actually respect the fact that she knows what she’s doing. Living with a natural haired woman might seem like it would eat up the time you share together but in reality, it’s no more than an hour each day.

Touching, Feeling And Playing With Her Hair

Livi enjoying a cup of “expensively rich and decadent” hot tea from IKEA.

Prior to dating Livi I was under the impression that I would be put into a headlock had I touched or THOUGHT ABOUT TOUCHING a Black woman’s hair. Hey, that’s cool! Back when I had Asian spikes, if you so much as grazed a single spike by accident, LORD HELP YOU because I would have dragon punched your spleen out. But with Livi, she made it clear from the beginning that she didn’t mind me touching her hair. Hell, I could even play with it if I wanted.

I‘d like to think I’m not alone on this but honest to god, I LOVE playing with my girlfriend’s natural hair. I love how soft her hair feels, the way the curls slide through my fingers tugging softly at my fingertips and the sensation I get from it. When we’re watching T.V together on the couch I’ll occasionally turn her back towards me and massage her head with my fingers, making her neck tingle as her shoulders relax and drop. This, to me, is incredibly sexy and is even relaxing for myself.

“Baby, your kitchens are like a lily pad floating on an ocean of happiness on a river bank…err…something like that…”

Though, my favorite thing to do is play with her kitchens. Apparently, kitchens are the smaller hairs on the very back of a person’s natural head that tend to grow in random directions, much like a cowlick, and are often shorter or more curly than the rest. This is my playground. It’s like I’m a child again as I curl, uncurl and even smell the damn thing. Kitchens are damn cute and curse you if you ever try to make them go away! LEAVE THE KITCHENS ALONE, DAMMIT!

The Straightening Of The Hair

It’s an unfortunate reality that the American job market is biased against Black Women. Livi has been on a number of job interviews and although it isn’t scientifically tested, we’ve noticed that most of the interviews that went well were when her hair was straight while the not-so-stellar interviews happened when she wasn’t. Now, we can debate the validity of straight hair vs natural in a job interview but when you’re trying to find a new job to pay for the things you need, hell, you’ll do anything to give yourself that edge even if it means frying your hair under a flat iron (no, she doesn’t relax it — thank god.)

It makes me sad that she has to straighten those beautiful curls and when she does, I feel like a part of her physical identity is temporarily removed and a more “family friendly” and “socially accepted” version is replaced. I know it’s still my girlfriend but I just can’t help seeing it a bit differently. It saddens me even more knowing that deep down, she doesn’t want to do it either.

On her 21st Birthday we went to Bouchon, a Michelin starred restaurant just north of Napa Valley.

On the other hand, there are moments when stylistically, she wants to straighten her hair. Moments when she’s going for a certain look — maybe it’s 60’s themed or perhaps she wants to sweep it to the side — and in those cases we’re not so sad. I still prefer her natural hair but luckily, she actually styles her hair damn well so I’m always a fan.

My Love And Hate Relationship With “The Bonnet”

Shower cap or bonnet? THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW!…. nah, jk, that’s a bonnet.

The Bonnet. Most call it a bonnet, I call it: a chef’s hat, an ice cream cone or a Princess Leia. The first time I saw her wear one I was like, “Waddahayl? Why do you have a shower cap on?” to which she replied, “It’s a bonnet! Black girls wear it to bed to protect their hair.” And when she says she wears it to bed I’m saying she wears it to bed EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Some days I think it looks like a silly little hat, other days it looks like a cute cupcake head and other nights, as in, those nights I feel a bit more strongly.

My girlfriend has gorgeous hair and seeing it tussle and move is a turn-on. So when we’re getting intimate, the last thing I want on my mind is a damn ice cream cone let alone Princess Leia with an ice cream cone on her head. It’s too damn distracting! Worse yet, bonnets seem to come in only three colors: black, hot pink and some ugly ass butterscotch color. How can I focus on you when I’m starting to think about some damn sweets?! Although, the most important reason why I dislike bonnets during these moments is that to me, bonnets signify that you’re done for the day and that you’re sleepy. So there’s competing messages between the actions being made and the bonnets being worn — catch my drift?

So yea, tip of the day: bonnets are cool except during intimate times.

But THIS is okay during intimate moments :oD

Natural Hair Is Beautiful Because?

Natural hair isn’t beautiful on Livi because of the style or the texture or the even color — even though they are. To me, natural hair is beautiful on Livi because natural hair is… (brace yourself)… NATURALLY HOW HER HAIR LOOKS! It appears exactly as it should and despite being hard to maintain and moisturize and style, she does it. She cares for her hair and it is a symbol of who she is, what she is and how she wants to be seen. And yes, her hair texture is very different from other black women but according to Livi, her hair used to be more fro-like when she was younger before it became color damaged. So her hair is part of her identity and history and if it means that much to her, if it means spending hours taking care of it and wearing bonnets and applying tons of product then HELL YES, it means that much to me too.

You see, I don’t have anything against Black women who relax their hair, straighten or dye it, wear wigs, weaves or braid it, I have no problem at all because I GET IT. I get that society has a fucked up expectation of beauty that has been developed over the years and unfortunately, natural Black hair isn’t always a part of that ‘blonde and beautiful’ story. So when I see a Black woman with relaxed hair or a Black woman with a weave on, it makes me sad. It makes me sad knowing that she has to do that to herself. She has to change part of WHO SHE IS and what is a part of her own genetics in order to feel beautiful, to feel accepted and to feel like herself. It truly does make me sad.

I see it no differently than Jewish people who try to remove the bump on their nose, Asians who pay for double eyelid surgery, pale White people that spend hours tanning or dark skinned brothers and sisters that try to bleach their skin. Sure, these are all things that can make you feel better and less insecure but the question isn’t about, “does it make them feel confident?” but rather, “why do they feel insecure to begin with?” And in my eyes, no one should have to feel like who they truly are and how they are born is anything less than perfect — especially Black women struggling with accepting their natural hair.

So to the 2010 version of myself, I congratulate you for writing that awesome blog and (hopefully) leading the way to more Asian guys falling MADLY IN LOVE with Black women and their natural hair. As for the 2013 version of myself, the one head-over-heels for a beautiful Black woman with luscious, delicious, beautiful, cute, sexy and perfect hair? What lesson should I give to myself? Well.. perhaps I’ll save my words of wisdom till Livi and I have cute little Blasian kids and I’m the one hunched over the couch combing my son or daughters hair as I cheerfully play with their kitchens.

After uploading an image of myself and Livi to this website, the site generated an approximation of what our future child “might” look like. I KINDA see it, yea?

(VLOG) Q&A #3 – My Asian Boyfriend Won’t Introduce Me To His Parents

What happens when your Asian boyfriend continues to not introduce you to his parents and family? What does it mean and how can you better understand the situation from his perspective? In my latest VLOG Q&A I go into detail about some of the reasons for this. Enjoy!

 

(VLOG) Q&A #1 – Are There Any Good Websites Where I Can Find Single Asian Guys?

This is my first official “vlog” so YAYYY! Hurray me! Hopefully my lazy ass will be able to do these as often as I can since I seem to have brain farts every time I try to write something out. This VLOG is still in a baby phase, so bare with me because I still need to iron out the kinks and figure out my groove. Got it? GOOD!

Enjoy!!! 🙂

 

Interracial Dating Q&A #3: Help! My Asian Boyfriend Won’t Have Sex With Me!

You know what you will never see on TV? Asians on Jerry Springer. Save for that one episode on Jerry Springer where some Filipino dude cheats on his wife, you and your children’s children will never have the privilege of seeing an Asian Man do the “You are NOT the father” dance.

Oooh yes-suh! I am not the Father-suhh!!

And you know why? Unlike the Asians in K-Town, Asian people generally keep their drama to themselves. Shit going down with your Baby Daddy (or in this case, Baby Oppa) and you don’t know what to do? Need some advice? Too damn bad because since Asians don’t flaunt their business you inversely won’t find solutions. But that’s what I’m here for –  I’m like the Asian Witch Doctor. You slip me a note under the door and for a hefty price of, FREE DOLLARS, I can help you out (given that I actually get a chance to read the damn thing.) So here are a few questions that I’d like to cast my shining yellow light on for yall.

Q: How do Asian parents feel about their son bringing home a caucasian girl with young children from a prior long term relationship?

“Kids! We need to build up our Chi so Mommy can find you an Asian Daddy!”

A: This scenario sounds familiar. Probably because it’s the basic premise of pretty much every damn Lifetime movie in existence (minus the cheating and stabbing.) But in all honesty, I think it just depends on several factors

Racially speaking, this scenario basically plays out the same whether your boy toy is Chinese, Japanese or Filipino: shakey at first but with lots of potential. The reason is that when entering the dragon with your own baggage, depending on how old the Asian guy is, he might be a busy Medical student pursuing a career in Neurosurgery with not enough time to scratch-and-sniff his own balls or he could be a well-off Engineer that has plenty of time after work. It’s all in the timing.

“Good job Billy! Your Japanese Caligraphy skills will definitely win over Mommy’s new boyfriend, Tetsuya!”

In regards to timing, it can be really tricky dating an Asian when he (or she) is caught inside the vicious, time-sucking Vortex we like to call SCHOOL. More so than any other ethnicity, I will hear Asians talk about “nah man, I don’t have time for girls right now. I’m hella busy with law school.” So the question to you my dear is how far into this Vortex are you planning to fall in? And the relevance this has to his parents is parallel in the sense that, for Asian parents, the general mentality is that so long as your School/Career is going well, everything his hunky dory. Hell, your man could be setting World records for most Grammy Awards won but if his grades aren’t top notch, his parents will feel dishonored.

So to answer your question simply: Whether you’re Black, White or Brown, entering a relationship with an Asian guy while having kids is all dependent on where he is in life. If you enter at the wrong time, not only do you run the risk of his parents viewing you as a “distraction” but you can also wind up on the back-burners and even worse, your kids won’t get a great chance to warm up to him – and that’s not fair for anyone. However, there are exceptions and if you can time it right OR if you have your own shit together with your own career and academic life on track, you can pull it off. And if it is done right? Well then shit, not only do you have a future husband but you got yourself a man that’s ready for a LIFE with you. If that’s the situation you’re in, well damn, you better start picking the type of carpet you’ll want for your new house!

“Isn’t this Great Susan?! I got the new Neuroscience Job!” “Oh boy Wang Peng! Goodbye wonderbread, hello Jasmine Rice!

Q: I’m unfamiliar with Vietnamese dating customs and there’s a vietnamese guy that has shown interest in me and I don’t want to offend him in anyway as I too am interested in him, how do I tackle the situation?

“Okay Ayesha, your Asian prince charming is just across the hall. Just relax and whatever you do, don’t say ‘Ni-Hao'”

A: I always get so confused when people ask me these kinds of questions. I mean, I do know a various amount of Asian cultural information but I’m not the goddamn Farmers Almanac of Asian-ness. These questions are just a bit too specific for my reach. I can teach you a bit about ASIANS as a whole and other general customs to keep in mind when dealing with the yellow kind, but this shit? You’ll have to google it.

My Advice: dont’ be racist, don’t say anything stupid, make sure you eat a handful of breath mints and, uhhh… don’t be afraid to ask him out on a second date. Simple enough?

Q: Is it true that asian guys all have small penises? i have a korean bf he is so cute and all that and he loves me very much we have been together for 4 years but he doesnt wanna have sex and doesnt wanna talk about this either i dont know what to do anymore he wants to get married later on but he wants to have sex after marriage i am so confused

“Why does this Asian guy keep trying to dance with me every time I grind on him?! Is it something I said?!”

A: Just rape him. Rip off his clothes, take off his Chinese Rice hat, grab his ASIAN penis and RAPE HIM GOOD! That is the only way. If not, you can just spread sesame seed oil on his balls and deep fry his dick and scream out loud “ME RIKEY SOME DIM SUM, BABY!”

Or you can go for the whole rape thing. That works too.

Thanks to me, you will never look at Sesame Balls and Chinese Donuts the same. EVARRRR!!!

As always, my Facebook is always open for questions and comments and if you haven’t already, be sure to LIKE! The Official Facebook Page of The Love Life of an Asian Guy!

Shit White Girls Don’t Know: The Difference Between Dating An Asian vs Asian-American Man

Remember that scene from the movie Kill Bill Vol. 2 where the main character (Uma Thurman) goes to train with Pai Mei, the Kung Fu master? Well, lately I’ve been feeling a lot like Pai Mei. Not to say that my hair is turning Grey or that I know Kung Fu, but I do feel like some wise old Asian guy giving advice to a bunch of White Girls/non-Asians – literally.

“Say ‘Ni-Hao’ to me one more time! Say it!!!”

30 Minutes Ago… a random girl messaged me

Random White Girl: Do asian guys do alot of sweet talking?
Wise Asian: lol i don’t know, it depends on each guy
Random White Girl: What’?! you’re the asian dude whisperer lol. I read your stuff

The Asian Dude Whisperer?! THE ASIAN DUDE WHISPERER?! Well… I actually kinda like that name, haha, but still! You’d be surprised how many of these requests I get. I get comments and messages all the time asking me about how girl X can seduce Asian guy Y into Z’ing her V – the shit I read is cray cray! But it all leads to one very important issue:

People don’t know jack SHIT about Asians vs Asian-Americans.

Truth be told, a lot of Asians are actually JUST like the ones on K-Town (a show that I 100% support, believe it or not)

What? Did I hurt your feelings? You think you’re in-tune with your Asian-ness because you drink Pearl Tea while watching Naruto? Get the hell out of here with that crap! I honestly love it when I see these weeaboos who parade around their anime loving selves acting like they know what’s going on with the Asian community better than us Asians. In fact, I myself barely know what’s going on because there’s just too much crap swimming in our toilet.

Now comes the real Kung Fu Lesson: Although we are different and special, there are plenty of things you can keep in mind when dating us. Things that we have in common, things which you can read about in books that illustrate how “hey, we might be Japanese and Korean and Filipino, but we do share some characteristics and we do go through similar experiences.” So pick up your chopsticks cuz child, I’m gonna teach you how to catch yourself an Asian Prince.

Is He “Made In America”?

In case you didn’t know, Mr. Jay Park was made in America

As ridiculous as it might sound to some of you white folks out there, there are a crazy list of differences between native born Asians and Asian-Americans. When it comes to Asian-Americans (especially if they were born and raised in the States), there’s a high chance that they are completely and totally Americanized, thus you really don’t have to do much in terms of changing yourself. Treat them like any other American person you know and you won’t have a single problem. Can’t seem to grasp this concept? Think about it like this:

Let’s say that you’re a White girl. Chances are, you’re mixed between a bunch of European ethnicities which have all been stewed in a genetic cauldron for years and years resulting in this mixed mutt, aka, YOU. You might be mixed with German, English, Scottish, and Dutch; or you could just be half English and half Irish. But imagine if you were part Irish (born and raised in America) and an Asian guy liked you. How would you feel if the Asian guy taking you out decided to say “Hey, I know you’re part Irish so I decided to take you out to the pub for our first date. Hows’ about a pint while we sing folk songs and eat potatoes?!”

“The racism! It hurts my liver!”

Feels kinda weird, right? The same applies to Asians. Just because we’re Asian doesn’t mean we have rock gardens in our backyard and spelling bee trophies on our mantel. If we’re Asian-American, we probably eat macaroni and cheese, enjoy shooting a gun, and have a strong attachment to “I Love Lucy.” Hell, we might even be more Americanized than some of you!

General Rule of Thumb: Unless you can tell that an Asian-American guy is VERY attached to his cultural values and customs, treat him like you would every other American citizen.

“Wanna spread cheese whiz all over my thighs and lick it off?!”

What If He’s Fresh Off The Boat (F.O.B)?

If you’re dealing with a F.O.B, then shit… you’re on your own! LOL! Just kidding 🙂 If he is an immigrant from Asia, you just have to use your best judgment to see how culturally attached he is. Don’t be afraid to ask him questions. Figure out what his views are on religion, relationships, sex, marriage, and cuddling. Really talk to him and figure him out. Some of you ladies seem too scared to do that and you make the biggest mistake you can possibly make: you make very stereotypical assumptions. You just assume that “Well, he’s Japanese so he must be into hardcore Anime porn and living the Samurai lifestyle, right?!” Wrong.

Everyone from every culture is different. Sometimes we may be part of one culture but it doesn’t mean we adopt every single custom from that culture. Maybe the Japanese guy who just moved here from Tokyo is a fan of Sushi and Samurais but actually has a passion for Ebony porn instead of Anime? Or maybe the Vietnamese guy you’ve been tutoring for the last two weeks likes Indian girls more than he likes Asian? Who knows?! That is why it is so important for you to actually get in there and ask questions. We all have our quirks and hidden fetishes/annoyances, so figure those out.

“This Asian guy I’m dating is really hot, but he doesn’t like Basketball Wives and I don’t K-Town. How can we work this thing out?”

General Rule of Thumb: If he’s an Asian Immigrant, just ask him a bunch of questions and figure out how “Asian” he really is. Get a better understanding of how he feels about his culture because when you think about it, if he is an immigrant, he chose to immigrate to your country for a reason. Maybe that reason is because he dislikes his culture and is seeking a better opportunity – or maybe he just likes Black girls.

What Does This All Mean?

“It all makes so much sense now that you explained it again, Ranier! Thank you so much!”

A lot of you are really stupid – no seriously, you are. Some of you have your ever-expanding Asian-loving brains shoved so far up your dirty asshole that you’re blind to the fact that before someone is Asian, or African, or American… they’re a person. No one wants to be stereotyped and they sure as hell don’t want to date the person doing it themselves. If you do find yourself interested in an Asian guy who is of a culture you don’t understand, then just do a little bit or research. Figure out some basic cultural values and use it as a reference.

After you do your homework, go talk to the Asian guy for hours and hours, go out for coffee and sandwiches, let him touch your boobs, I don’t know! Just go out and have a spectacular and amazing date with him. Blow his mind with how interesting you are, your passions and aspirations in life. If you feel like he’s too different for you and you just can’t relate on any level – whether it’s through cultural similarities or your burning love for Radiohead – then just walk away. It’s not worth it. I’ve met way too many women who like Asian guys and are willing to change their own personalities just so they can attract him – that’s not how it should work.

“I don’t know about this girl… she keeps saying Ni-Hao to me! What does that even mean?!”

Your love and attraction should be effortless. It should be simple and the attraction should be as powerful as a red stick of dynamite bursting earth into the air. As one of my Communication Studies professors once said:

“If you like someone and you want that person in your life, it doesn’t matter if you’re a different ethnicity or you speak a different language completely. If you like them, your personalities will find a way to make it work.”

A Beautiful couple that I found on this blog: http://talesfromhebei.wordpress.com/


**Yes, I know that the title says “Shit ‘WHITE’ Girls Don’t Know”, but it really just applies to any non-Asians. There. Happy?**

Interracial Dating Q&A #2: Do Asian Guys Date Girls From (Insert Country)?

I know what you’re thinking: “Another blog post within the same month?”

This actually feels pretty good – writing, that is. In case you didn’t know, I’ve been busy working for the man. Or should I say woman? Woman. Since my hire at Tory Burch, I’ve found my personal time dwindling down to a mere fingernails worth, which is then devoted primarily to “girlfriend time.” Which is no problem for me – of course – but for you readers? Ya’ll gots to wait! But fear not! I come bearing the goods!

So, my little reader, scoop up another bowl of that cheap ice cream you have in the freezer, pop on some fuzzy socks and let’s get to some good ole’ fashioned blog reading! Yay! Reading is fun!

"Mommy, look! I'm reading about Asian guys!"

Question # 1: Do you train kungfu?

Answer: Oh yes! I berry gewd at Kung Fu! Me rikey very much! You want dumpring? I make-a dumpring for sick dorrer fifty! CHING CHONG LING LONG TING TONG! … next question.

 

Question #2: Hey I read your blog often…..its really good but my question was I live in Columbus and Ive found myself checking out some asian dudes lol but I dont really know if they date east africans………

The whole “Do Asian guys date girls from (insert country)?” question is actually the most common question I get. From girls in Spain to girls in Cuba,  girls in East Africa to girls in India, I’ve heard em all. However, it doesn’t matter if you’re from Iran or Neptune, the answer to this question is the same: maybe.

Why maybe? Well, maybe you’re an overly jealous girlfriend with a diva complex, or maybe you’re a swinger who prefers to live her life on the edge [of the bed]. If that’s the case, then no normal guy, whether he’s Asian or not, would wanna date you. The real question is: would ANYONE (with a sensible mind) wanna date you?

Contrary to popular belief, the Asian guys of the world have yet to set up a big conference meeting to create a checklist of what types of girls we will date, and from which countries. We may be intelligent and organized , but not that much.

Now okay, I know this is sounding very PBS and family friendly with my whole “everyone is a winner” type of answer, so here’s the other half: when it comes to dating an Asian guy (or anyone) who was born and or lives in their home country, they will probably be less open minded to dating outside their race.

"Nah man, I don't wanna date that thing!"

The truth of the matter is that, unless you meet someone who was raised in a completely diverse urban city (or someone who is naturally an open minded individual) they’re probably going to date within their own race. If all the women they’ve ever seen in their life were Asian – their friends, ex-girlfriends, and coworkers – how can they really visualize a relationship with anyone else?

I mean think about it this way: you might be an open minded Black/White/Latin girl who is totally diggin Asian guys, but do you honestly think that ALL of the women within your ethnic circle feel the same way? So then why are you asking such a generalized question about us?

"Ahhh-Suh!! You ask-uh such-uh stupid question -suhhhhhhh!!!"

I will say this: a lot of Asian guys are into a lot of types of women. I mean come on! Look at our culture! We’ll eat raw fish, weird Asian candies, we have crazy Anime porn, and we even have some of the wildest fashions on the planet; what makes you think we’re not as adventurous in dating? All I’m saying is that Asian guys have it in them, but some of them just need to know (from you ladies) that you’re interested too.

To many, Asian people are the laughingstock of the world. We talk funny, we eat weird shit, our hair looks like it came out of a Dragonball Z episode, and we look incredibly different. Our culture is different, but inside, we’re still photographers, and dentists, and soon-to-be fathers, and bloggers, and readers – we just need a girl who can make us feel like we aren’t strangers from another galaxy. We want a girl who can accept and appreciate our culture as something that is different – not crazy and wild and reserved for the comic section in the newspaper, just different. If you can unlock that part of your mind, and if you’re willing to see our culture the way we do, then please, welcome to the list of “girls that Asian guys like.”

Question #… AHHH FUCK IT! I’m tired!