Fu Man “Who?” – Understanding The Complex Emotions Of Being An Asian-American Man

In a lot of ways our computers, video games, and homework have all been a great distraction for us Asian Men. A porcelain tub we lean back in with eyes closed, dunking our cold and pale bodies as the water blurs our vision and capsizes our eardrums till we can’t hear or see the outside world’s bullshit. We log in, check out, and let all the voices of society silence themselves to sleep while we level up our way to emotional bliss. We escape the pain.

Asian guys are nerds who stay on the computer all the time.

AngryAsianMan-Laptop

I hate watching American sitcoms, they so rarely reflect the families us Asians grew up with. Most of us Whiz Kids were crafted in a factory that churned out star children; PhD machines who studied and calculated their way to an American dream that wasn’t even ours, but our parents’. It isn’t the dream we wanted but we still did it. Robots aren’t trained to think or decide for themselves. If you aren’t taught to value your own opinions and aspirations then what use is there in having feelings of your own? Feelings get you in trouble because feelings get in the way of The American Dram. You can’t do that.

My Asian ex-boyfriend never opened up to me.

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Asian American boys: the bastards of America. Our fathers are off on different shores in distant countries with wives and kids we never met, or up to their necks in TsingTao till their eyes turn red, or buried under a hundred other “gook” bodies that litter the the soils of the Korean and Vietnam War. So you take these fatherless children and expect them to become men yet you deny them the opportunity to see any Asian father figure on the T.V screen they’re cemented in front of. The screens they spend hours and hours in front of. To America it’s a mirror but to us it’s a screen that doesn’t look back. We keep looking but we still can’t find ourselves.

Why are Asian guys so weak and timid? They need to man up!

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What happens inside those tiny glowing screens? Like the sight of a thousand Chinese railroad workers hammering a steel nail into the ground the American message is simple and repeated over and over through caricatures and violent acts of racism: your father was no man, you are no man, and your kids will never be a man. Go home, little boy. You do not belong in the land of giants. Your voice does not matter because your voice isn’t loud enough.

This Asian guy I like won’t tell me if he likes me back. Why isn’t he speaking to me?

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The problem with being an Asian American Man is that you are stuck at a fork in the road but you’ve been told to stay still: while America tugs on your sense of identity and masculinity you want to push back and voice your concerns. But how do you teach a group of men to SPEAK UP when they were raised to politely raise their hands? How do you untangle these robot wires and let these men feel? We may ace and code our way to a middle-class but given the open floor beneath our feet where no one is willing to see us– not Asian women, not other men, not even Asians from Asia – what difference does it make what we think? It’s like we’re still on that railroad pounding away at the ground. This is our life.

I give up on Asian Men. 

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Asian Men are a complex and intricate group of individuals. Our own mental and emotional struggles are folded under our pillow by our unrelenting desire to succeed. To prove our worth to our parents that we can do it. That their efforts to cross those seas were not in vain. Dad, I can do it. Mom, I’ll make you proud. But when the the duty of your family pulls us to the right, the hunger to find our own identity yanks to the left, societal pressure drags us down, and the women who love us want us to stand up, we are bound to rip apart like a paper doll being fed into a room with paper shredders on all four walls.

I don’t understand Asian Men.

And you never will…

Because we don’t understand either.

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The Main Reason Why Interracial Dating Is Taking So Long To Catch On

We 2014’ers all know the feeling.

You’re downloading something and the progress window pops up: 5 minutes remaining.

DA F*CK?! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS BULLSHIT!

Gaksital Kang To Crying

“HIGH SPEED INTERNET MY ASS!”

You stop the download, delete it, and spend another 20 minutes finding a faster download. But remember when you downloaded a SINGLE song from Napster and it took damn near a full day? Perhaps that’s the symptom of living a high-speed life: once you hit 90 mph you expect everything – from the time it takes to get an even, orange-julius shade skin tan to your quest to find 1-minute ramen noodles that cook in 55 seconds  – to go just as fast. Once you go fast, you can’t go back. Our impatience also extends beyond the microwave (the one in your kitchen and in the tanning salon) and into the world of Interracial Dating.

Every so often I’ll hear someone bicker about why Asian Men haven’t stepped and sped up in the American dating game. It’s like we’re in the Olympics of dating and love making and our coach, aka, society, is egging us on to flirt and fuck faster. “You call that a thrust?! THRUST THOSE PALE THINGS! THRUST! THRUST!”

"OH GOD! MY ASS IS CRAMPING! IS THIS NORMAL?!"

“OH GOD! MY ASS IS CRAMPING! IS THIS NORMAL?!”

Now, I could do to your brain what Anton Chigurh did to his victims’ foreheads in “No Country for Old Men” with my bare knowledge on why it’s taking Asian Men so long to step up their dating game, but I think we need to discuss an even bigger issue. One that I think is impacting the Interracial Dating progress of not only Asian Men, but Black Men and Women, and *gasp* White Men as well.

Time

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Do you know how long it took to see an Asian guy get some action on T.V? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS WE’VE WAITED?!

Perhaps you need a refresher but the legalization of Interracial Marriage via Loving v. Virginia happened just shy of 50 years ago. It’s been 50 years and we’re BARELY starting to see Interracial Relationships gain visibility in the media. And even in those instances there’s still hostility against a goddamn Cheerios commercial. So if we can’t even get a collective “hell yea!” for the poster-child of Interracial Dating in America (Black and White couples) then how the hell can we expect faster progress for Asian Men and Non-Asian Women (AMXF)? Why are we in such a rush to raise our crosses and crusade towards the “Asian Men need to man the f*ck up and start asking Black/White/Latina women out on dates” cause when we can’t even get Black and White couples comfortably settled in?

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Now, this isn’t to say that we should get lazy and stop our push towards a better, more confident Asian Man who isn’t afraid to make some Blasian Super Babies by the dozens, but we should be patient. This isn’t an iTunes song we’re downloading, this is social, racial progress. We have made great strides within these past few years but it will take even more time. And that’s a reality many of us find difficult to digest. To know that, sometimes, progress in life will take much longer than the 5 minutes it takes to buffer Grand Theft Auto 5.

So be patient, my Asian Man-loving, Interracial Dating brothers and sisters. I want to see that Blasian Super Baby society just as bad as you do but we need to chill out and let time take its course. Hell, it might even take another ten, thirty, or fifty years.

But Ranier, what should I do till then?!”

THRUST! THRUST!

"Time to lube up!"

“Time to lube up!”

This Is Why You’re Single: “I Can’t Date Someone Outside My Culture – They Won’t Understand Me!”

You know that strange sixth sense you get when you can feel all the eyes in a room watching you? Like a giant spider peering into your soul, the room grows silent and all you can hear are a thousand eyeballs moving as you think to yourself, “goddamn, what the HELL are you all looking at?!” I knew I was the only Filipino in that Vietnamese restaurant, but damn, did I look that out of place? Then I realized something: they weren’t looking at me – they were looking at my girlfriend…

My Black girlfriend.

But I’ll get back to that story in just a minute…

One of the laziest excuses I hear from people uninterested in interracial relationships is their need to satisfy their culture. “How can I date a non-Indian man? What about my culture? How will he like my food?” “But, I’m a Black woman! There are things that only a Black man can understand about being Black and I need that in my Black life! How the hell can an Asian man understand what I’ve been through?!” “Aye dios mio! Yo soy Mexicana! Esta chino? PORQUE, NO!”

I get it. I really do. You value your heritage and your connection with your culture is so tight not even a TSA agent with a latex glove and a bottle of Astroglide can get through. You know your religion and interests are important so you feel like dating someone of the same background will be easy. A stress free relationship where you don’t have to explain why you do the things you do to a person who, in your mind, simply cannot understand “your people.”

“OMG like how can I date a guy who won’t understand my passion for corny Bollywood films? I AM NOT WATCHING IT WITH SUBTITLES!!”

But you’re wrong.

Since when have ANY of your damn relationships been easy? Most of the shittiest relationships I’ve been with were Asian women themselves who I shared the exact same culture and heritage with. The problem with the culture argument is that it assumes all relationship problems exist for culture reasons when truthfully, it’s almost always a personal issue.

Many moons ago I dated a Filipino girl who had a Filipino mom, Japanese dad, she ate rice and liked listening to R&B slow jams – basically your standard Asian girl. Unfortunately, she cheated on me and my 14 year old self was overly jealous. It was an epically disastrous relationship equivalent to Satan shitting on the Hindenburg just as it fell from the sky. But guess what? All of those reasons had nothing to do with our culture, it had everything to do with her infidelity and my insecurity.

“It’s OVER, Tyler! I don’t care if you slept with my grandmother! How could you NOT like the Red Sox and Mayonnaise as much as I do?!”

Now ask yourself this: does the success of a relationship truly hinge on whether or not your boyfriend likes Salsa dancing? Will your relationship crumble if he doesn’t know how to properly roll a Pierogi and shop for deli meats for your Russian family? Is he less of a man because he can’t fully understand the struggles of being a Black woman in modern society? Will you care for and love him less because he can’t speak your native language?

No.

“I’m sorry, ridiculously chiseled and immaculately styled Asian Man that is making me hot and heavy, I can’t date a man that hasn’t even attended a single Barmitzvah! GO AWAY, COMMIE!”

Believe it or not, culture can be taught. We as humans can learn to adopt and learn to understand and learn how to cook the way your grandmother does. Those are things you can teach a man. But honesty, loyalty, a sense of humor, a taste for an unexpected road trip or a passion for corny scary movies? THAT is something you cannot teach. Those are the beliefs that make your relationship great. Those are the true values that erect the foundation for a healthy love that lasts. If you can find those key qualities in a man and he just so happens to be Asian, or Black, or Sri Lankan, why not go for it? Why let that ONE thing get in the way of an amazing relationship?

When I sat in that Vietnamese restaurant earlier today, with all eyes on my girlfriend as she masterfully rolled and ate Banh Xeo with all the veggies and fish sauce intact, I completely forgot that she was Black. All I cared about was, damn, my baby got skills. She may not look Asian or have experienced life as an Asian, but she’s willing to understand my life and my interests while also teaching me hers. Because at the end of the day I didn’t choose her for her culture or heritage, I chose her for her heart, her mind, and our shared love affair for trying something new.

Culture does not define you – you define it.

 

15 Reasons Why Barack Obama Is Actually Asian

The other day I came across this photo of Barack Obama with his extended family. Notice anything?

HELLA ASIANS UP IN HERE! Upon further investigation I was SHOCKED to find out just how Asian Barack truly was. Could it be? Could it be that Asians aren’t just Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Nurses, and Pharmacists? Could we actually be… THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?! Here is definitive proof that our 44th President is indeed a full blown Asian.

1. His Mother re-married an Indonesian man

Obama spent a few years in Indonesia and his step-father was Indonesian. Now, I’m not the most experienced when it comes to Indonesian people but I do know this: they’re brown like me, they probably like eating meat and rice, and they most likely sing Karaoke – so you KNOW Barack indulged in some of that!

2. His Sister is half-Indonesian

You already know Obama and his sister grew up on Anime. YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS!

3. His sister married a Chinese man

Uhhh, hello? Asian Brother-in-Law = Blasian hangouts! The two of them probably drink Ramune, eat pocky sticks, and gossip about how much they like Hawaii Five-O.

4. His half-Brother married a Chinese woman

OH COME ON!! Obama is so Asian when he breathes he smells like Oyster sauce. His brother can even be seen online wearing traditional Asian clothes and you know, YOU KNOW Obama walks around the White House wearing it too.

5. He loves a good MMO RPG

Here’s a photo of Obama playing Starcraft with his online friends, Young Ji and Seonghee. He’s probably winning.

6. He knows how to do “The Asian Bow”

If you read my last post about “How to do the Asian Bow” then you’ll notice that Obama is an expert. He knows not to look into the eyes, bow low, and keep his feet together. HIS FORM IS IMPECCABLE.

7. Obama loves taking selfies

Originally, this picture was of Obama throwing up an Asian peace sign but his buddy didn’t think it was Kawaii enough. Whatever, man…

8. Obama enjoys a good K-Pop marathon

Mr. President has often been spotted watching re-runs of Flower Boy Ramen shop though his favorite pastime is keeping himself updated on the latest K-Pop stars.

9. He’s a big FOODIE

Asians are the biggest, most obnoxious foodies in the world – and so is Obama. President Barack Obama also has a private instagram where he photographs his meals and posts captions like, “nom nom nom” and ” yummy! ^__^”

10. He LOOVES shaved ice

Maybe it’s the Hawaiin in him, or maybe he’s just HELLA ASIAN LIKE THAT. You see, Asians are too cheap and lazy to turn on the air conditioner because they’re afraid of getting a high gas bill. Instead, they eat shaved ice. It’s cheaper, and it tastes like childhood memories and success.

11. Did I mention he LOVES shaved ice?

There’s an infinite supply of photos of Obama eating shaved ice. He’s totes addicted.

12. He’s always chillin’ with his fellow Asian brothers and sisters

Here he is in Korea with his buddies discussing where to go for good Bibimbap.

Now he’s meeting the president of the Philippines, Benigno Aquino, as they shake hands and agree to a Karaoke battle. I think Obama won after that killer rendition of Richard Marx’s “Right here waiting.”

13. Mr. President loves making noodles

I always thought of myself as a noodle expert, but Barack takes it to the extreme: he hires his Chinese noodle buddies to make it for him fresh. That’s dedication!

14. He loves making corny word puns

Asians love making word puns. Here he is whispering a good one into Michelle’s ear.
Barack: Knock Knock
Michelle:
Who’s there?
Barack: Pho
Michelle: Pho who?
Barack: Gurll, your body looks un-PHO-gettable!

15. Barack has those beautiful Asian eyes

YOUR MIND HAS BEEN BLOWN.

Asian Culture Tips For Non-Asian Girls: How To Do The Asian Head Bow

I get a lot of fan mail from my blog readers about how much they love Asian culture. They talk about how much of the Korean language they’re learning in class, and how good they are at chopsticks. Up front I congratulate them but deep down in the center of my cold Asian heart — where my future Tiger Father will soon flourish — I want to *politely and gently* slap them with all my might.

“Go away. I’m allergic to Weeaboos”

You see, Asian culture really isn’t that difficult to understand. Whether you’re a pro at it or you can’t tell the difference between Kimchi and Toyota, I have a handful of easy tips to place into your non-Asian bag of tricks. First things first…

Learn The Asian Head Bow!

Obama rockin’ the Asian head bow like a champ.

You know how in movies whenever an Asian businessman meets an American businessman for the first time there’s always that awkward handshake scene? Yea, don’t even try to bow to your hot Asian date. Why? First off, most younger Asian guys don’t even do that kind of bow and second, it would come off as racist if you do it to him.

How It’s Done:

In most cases, 15 degrees is perfect. Anything more and you better be meeting the president of Taiwan or Kim Jong Un.

1. Position your body like you’re ready to bow down

2. Bend from your neck/upper chest — kinda like you’re nodding your head.

3. Bend down only about 15-20 degrees.

4. You can maintain eye contact while bowing down if you want. If not, no biggie.

 

Why You Should Do It:

“I like my girls curvy, tan skinned, and raised to respect their elders!”

The Asian head bow is something that no one has ever instructed me to do, I just do it because I see other Asians do it. It’s basically a casual way of saying, “I acknowledge you and I respect you” — or whatever kinda of zen bullshit you wanna come up with. It’s essentially the non-verbal equivalent of saying thank you and can be used towards anyone.

When To Do It/To Whom:

If all else fails and you can’t score with your Asian date, bowing to the cute Asian waiter might catch his attention! YOU NEVER KNOW!!

Whenever you’re engaging in some sort of business transaction: paying the cashier at the bookstore, giving your credit card to your waitress, or thanking the Sushi Chef after you leave the restaurant, make it a point to do the head bow. It doesn’t have to be some grandiose spectacle that requires precise timing and background music — you just do it. It’s quick and simple, much like a head-nod or a thumbs up. You especially do this towards older Asian people.

 

How You Can F*ck It Up:

lulz

Timing, intensity, and location are key. You can’t bow too slowly or else you’ll look like you’re seeking attention, nor can you bow too low or you’ll just look like those awkward Americans who doesn’t know jack shit about Asian culture. Additionally, you shouldn’t just do it any damn time you like or you might run the risk of coming off socially awkward.

It should merely be the cherry on top — not the entire goddamn ice cream itself. So relax… it’s not that difficult.

What You Should Learn From The Racism Against Lorde/James Lowe

I think I’ve come to a point in time where racist tweets, journalism, and overall bigotry isn’t just common, it’s expected. I’ve learned to accept the fact that as an Asian-American in the 21st century we are not welcome at the table of America. We do not sit at the same table, we do not eat the same food, and we certainly don’t go back home and share the same stories. Our narrative is different because our experiences are different. We are different because America makes us feel like we are.

But one of the beauties of being a minority is that although we sit on different sides of the room, away from the rest of white America, we can relate to the struggles of our Asian brothers and sisters from afar: UK, Canada, Germany, Australia, and anywhere else we’ve managed to call home. And although our problems may be different in many ways (job discrimination, racially motivated violence, racist media) we all feel a connection of pain.

So when I read the news about James Lowe, boyfriend of New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde, being the target of racist tweets, I felt compelled to say something. “So…” you may ask, “what’s the big deal?”

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re a non-Asian woman that has a penchant for Asian Men. You love us when we’re nerdy and awkward, and you swoon when we’re ripped and sophisticated. So how should you feel about this Lorde/James Lowe issue?

You see, interracial dating is actually much easier than people think. The problem is rarely you or him. The biggest problem seems to be other people. If you’re dating an Asian guy now or look forward to finding one in the future, you need to understand that you will eventually come across racist shit like this. You will walk down that street and people will shout, “you need a real man!” or “why are you with him?!” Your boyfriend will be passive-aggressively teased by relatives who say, “are you Chinese? Can you do Kung Fu? Haha!” And even if you’re big and famous like Lorde, your boyfriend will not be off limits. If anything being popular will encourage more of that bigotry.

So my advice to you is this: expect the oblivious men and women that will make stupid comments about you and your relationship. Know how to deal with it by standing up and shouting, “YEA, my boyfriend is Asian. We’re also sleeping together. WHAT ABOUT IT?!” I’m not too sure if Lorde has addressed the racism but I can only hope that she does. And if it ever happens to you, you need to prove that you’re a woman worth fighting for by being the woman that fights for him.

It’s bad enough that Asians don’t get any breaks or support from the public when we are ridiculed and harassed, but you? His girlfriend? His fiance? You need to fill that gap. And if you can manage to be this brave, this loving, this supportive, I can assure your Asian boyfriend will always have a seat for you at his table.

Please, especially if you’re a non-Asian WOMAN, you need to speak up against this shit. You need to be the counteractive voice to these idiotic children. Write something, post something, or share this. You say you like Asian culture? Then voice your opinions.

AMBW Artists: My Interview with AMBW Romance Writer Nairobi K.

Blog Readers, meet Nairobi K. Nairobi, Readers. 

Now that we’ve gotten through the cheesy introduction, let’s get into it!

Ranier M: Congratulations on your release of “A Rose in the Desert”! Could you tell our readers what this is about?

Nairobi K: A Desert Rose: Snapshot Memories is my debut contribution to AMBW lit. It’s a compilation of short stories illustrating blasian love in a way that is intimate, sensual, unforced, and honest. There is no particular plot, but it was written with the intent that the reader can step into the role of the characters and really experience the moment as it happens in a series of captured memories that leave their imprint long after the moment has passed.

Ranier M:  I love the crafting of Interracial relationships in the snapshots. It doesn’t feel forced and it plays out much like a real-life snapshot: organic and relatable. Were these Interracial pairings intentional or did it just “happen” naturally? Do you think their ethnicities impact the characters themselves?

 

Nairobi K: This is a really good question! As far as intentional pairings, it definitely was intentional simply because I wrote this specifically for the AMBW community. But the stylistic flow of A Desert Rose was inspired by the uninterrupted, organic flow of life. As the saying goes, “Shit happens” and when it does, you wanna capture the beauty of that moment. I didn’t wanna craft a whole bunch of unbelievable interactions as I’ve seen with many other AMBW books that cater to the fantasy of meeting a famous Asian pop star.

As far as the ethnicities having an impact on the character, I love this question and I will say yes. Yes, because it effects how they appeal to each other in a physical way. Absent of any fetishes, the attraction to the physical features, acknowledging the beauty in the complexion, the hair texture, and facial structure is significant because that’s part of the sensuality, the romance, the gravitational force that pulls two equal and opposite forces together. That is something that can only be highlighted with an obvious difference in ethnicity. And yes, because if you look at it from the perspective of someone who is attracted to some one who is completely opposite of them culturally, linguistically, and of course physically, falling in love with that person opens up entirely new potential to not only get to know that person, but get to know love through something like a culture shock. And that can be a beautiful thing.

“Quite like the yin and yang, I think the unity of Asian men and Black women complement each other in a unique way and that’s what I hope to convey in these snapshot memories.”

Ranier M: Okay, let’s talk about the obvious: there’s a clear theme of intimacy and sex within these stories but it’s done in such a tasteful, non-cliche way. We feel like we’re peering into a peep hole of true romanticism that movies and music seem to forget. How did you come up with this concept? Were you in a particular part of your life that influenced this theme? Or was there a certain someone fueling this fire?

 

Nairobi K: You know, I’ve read a few interviews of authors and I don’t recall any of the questions being this damn good. I swear I really had to take a whole day to think about this. Hahaha, but that’s also because I’ve been writing since I was in 7th grade and my style has always been on the level of subtle sensuality, so I never actually had to force this style because it just came naturally.

“I like sexy, but I can’t stand it when authors just throw it in your face and leave nothing up to the imagination.”

I write exactly what I would be interested in reading and since I’m very particular about style and expression when it comes to romance, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I got tired of the cliché and predictable formulas of romance. I guess you could compare my writing style to foreplay because that’s where all the romance is. I get the readers all riled up before it actually happens so when it actually does, it’s like “oh God yes.” Ahahaha

Ranier M: There’s a clear lack of romantic interactions between Black Women and Asian Men in movies, music and television. Is it the same in the literary world? Are you influenced by any current artists or writers? If so, who and if not, what does motivate you to write about something no one else is doing?

Nairobi K: Exactly! There is a clear lack of blasian love in movies, music, and television. This is exactly what frustrates me! We all know it’s at the point where we’re gonna have to start kicking faces in to get ourselves represented in the media and literary world. But it’s one thing to get that representation individually; it’s a whole other beast to see us represented together as a power couple. And because AMBW is still so unique despite the growing online community, we can’t say they don’t wanna see it. I think they just don’t know that it exists. I still get looks of surprise when I’m getting all lovey with my fiancé in public. The stereotypes that people have about black women and Asian men just doesn’t seem to be able to fit in a whole new paradigm of love between two individuals who have been placed on the bottom of society’s most desired list (and who gives a damn about that list, I say). So I decided I would contribute to the brave few authors who have made the AMBW genre more accessible.

 

Before I wrote this, I literally typed into amazon the keyword “ambw” and was excited to find that there was a handful of books on there. I checked out the competition, looked at a few covers to get an idea of what the covers looked like and read the previews on the books. Now this is not to knock any of the hard working authors who cater specifically to the ambw community, but I was shocked at how some of the covers were actually perpetuating stereotypes. And here I thought the whole goal was to make these relationships seem just as normal as the more common black/white interracial relationships. But I found that by both the cover and the short book previews that the characters were still glaringly superficial and at times upholding the stereotypes and fetishes believed about both black women and Asian men individually. So I was very disappointed by much of what I saw, although there were definitely some in there that had great covers and were very good. So you know what I did? I took a short cut! I used my fiancé as the cover model for A Desert Rose.

Sneaky, I know. But I’m also very particular about the imagery because I know very well that covers are what make people actually stop and look. But again, I went for that subtle sexy look with the lights low and the orange glow and….im getting carried away hahahah. But since I had written A Desert Rose before even checking out other books in the genre, once I actually saw what was on the market I realized already that A Desert Rose was taking a unique approach and that really motivated me because I would like to inspire new authors like myself not to be afraid to write an unconventional love story that is natural and relatable.

Ranier M: I truly admire the fact that you don’t fetishize the AMBW relationship and you accurately portray them as normal, sexual and relatable. Do you have any advice for our readers that might be “virgins” to the interracial dating/AMBW world?

Nairobi K: Well I think the approach is quite common sense. Much of the attraction to Asian guys comes from the exposure to their culture and the most popular way is through things like anime, manga, music, and dramas. I’m a fan of all of these, and I may only be twenty one, but dammit I like to consider myself mature and I will not for the life of me try to speak to any and every Asian guy in Japanese or Korean (because those are the main two). In fact, my fiance is often mistaken for Korean or Japanese and he’s neither. The fact that his native languages are both Russian and Kazakh blows people’s mind and turns them in circles. He has had girls melt over him in Japanese and he looks at them like they have no eyebrows. If I hadn’t learned that same lesson early, I’m sure we would not be together. He just doesn’t tolerate such ignorance.

 

“In fact I have a friend who is totally borderline obsessed with Asian men and literally will not consider any other guy who isn’t Asian. Particularly Korean or Japanese, which is also something that really annoys the hell out of me with AMBW virgins. Sometimes they can see the crazed obsession in the eyes and steer clear (smart guys).”

The main expectation is for every Asian guy that crosses their path to be either Korean or Japanese and that seriously needs to stop. I think that is a huge reason some of these relationships don’t work; because of the stereotypes and expectations. And speaking to the ladies, if the guy is neither Korean nor Japanese and you come at him with that bull, you ruined ALL your chances. And frankly that’s just not the way to approach it. In my humble opinion, love comes first and ethnicity is secondary. You shouldn’t categorize Asian men and cross off men from the countries you wouldn’t date. You close off a lot of potential. When you fall in love, it should be that kind of love that just couldn’t explain itself. When people ask you why you like each other, don’t even mention “because she’s black” or “because he’s Asian”. Love doesn’t need cliché or shallow explanations. Too much of that happens in interracial relationships. Plain and simple, let it happen naturally. Keep it honest and sensual, natural and sexy.

For any readers that have any more questions or just want to contact me, you can email me at nairobi_k13@yahoo.com I’d be happy to hear from you! Thanks Ranier for the awesome interview and keep up with the amazing blog. I got you book marked 😀

For a copy of “Desert Rose: Snapshot Memories” buy it now on Amazon!